the lily of the valley-第24章

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〃Hush！〃　said　Madeleine；　〃if　you　make　such　a　noise　the　general　will

come。〃



〃It　is　not　right；〃　she　said。　〃What　folly！〃



The　tears　in　her　voice　were　the　payment　of　what　must　be　called　a

usurious　speculation　of　love。



〃I　had　forgotten　to　return　this　key；〃　I　said　smiling。



〃Then　you　will　never　return；〃　she　said。



〃Can　we　ever　be　really　parted？〃　I　asked；　with　a　look　which　made　her

drop　her　eyelids　for　all　answer。



I　left　her　after　a　few　moments　passed　in　that　happy　stupor　of　the

spirit　where　exaltation　ends　and　ecstasy　begins。　I　went　with　lagging

step；　looking　back　at　every　minute。　When；　from　the　summit　of　the　hill；

I　saw　the　valley　for　the　last　time　I　was　struck　with　the　contrast　it

presented　to　what　it　was　when　I　first　came　there。　Then　it　was　verdant；

then　it　glowed；　glowed　and　blossomed　like　my　hopes　and　my　desires。

Initiated　now　into　the　gloomy　secrets　of　a　family；　sharing　the　anguish

of　a　Christian　Niobe；　sad　with　her　sadness；　my　soul　darkened；　I　saw

the　valley　in　the　tone　of　my　own　thoughts。　The　fields　were　bare；　the

leaves　of　the　poplars　falling；　the　few　that　remained　were　rusty；　the

vine…stalks　were　burned；　the　tops　of　the　trees　were　tan…colored；　like

the　robes　in　which　royalty　once　clothed　itself　as　if　to　hide　the

purple　of　its　power　beneath　the　brown　of　grief。　Still　in　harmony　with

my　thoughts；　the　valley；　where　the　yellow　rays　of　the　setting　sun　were

coldly　dying；　seemed　to　me　a　living　image　of　my　heart。



To　leave　a　beloved　woman　is　terrible　or　natural；　according　as　the　mind

takes　it。　For　my　part；　I　found　myself　suddenly　in　a　strange　land　of

which　I　knew　not　the　language。　I　was　unable　to　lay　hold　of　things　to

which　my　soul　no　longer　felt　attachment。　Then　it　was　that　the　height

and　the　breadth　of　my　love　came　before　me；　my　Henriette　rose　in　all

her　majesty　in　this　desert　where　I　existed　only　through　thoughts　of

her。　That　form　so　worshipped　made　me　vow　to　keep　myself　spotless

before　my　soul's　divinity；　to　wear　ideally　the　white　robe　of　the

Levite；　like　Petrarch；　who　never　entered　Laura's　presence　unless

clothed　in　white。　With　what　impatience　I　awaited　the　first　night　of　my

return　to　my　father's　roof；　when　I　could　read　the　letter　which　I　felt

of　during　the　journey　as　a　miser　fingers　the　bank…bills　he　carries

about　him。　During　the　night　I　kissed　the　paper　on　which　my　Henriette

had　manifested　her　will；　I　sought　to　gather　the　mysterious　emanations

of　her　hand；　to　recover　the　intonations　of　her　voice　in　the　hush　of　my

being。　Since　then　I　have　never　read　her　letters　except　as　I　read　that

first　letter；　in　bed；　amid　total　silence。　I　cannot　understand　how　the

letters　of　our　beloved　can　be　read　in　any　other　way；　yet　there　are

men；　unworthy　to　be　loved；　who　read　such　letters　in　the　turmoil　of　the

day；　laying　them　aside　and　taking　them　up　again　with　odious　composure。



Here；　Natalie；　is　the　voice　which　echoed　through　the　silence　of　that

night。　Behold　the　noble　figure　which　stood　before　me　and　pointed　to

the　right　path　among　the　cross…ways　at　which　I　stood。



　　To　Monsieur　le　Vicomte　Felix　de　Vandenesse：



　　What　happiness　for　me；　dear　friend；　to　gather　the　scattered

　　elements　of　my　experience　that　I　may　arm　you　against　the　dangers

　　of　the　world；　through　which　I　pray　that　you　pass　scatheless。　I

　　have　felt　the　highest　pleasures　of　maternal　love　as　night　after

　　night　I　have　thought　of　these　things。　While　writing　this　letter；

　　sentence　by　sentence；　projecting　my　thoughts　into　the　life　you　are

　　about　to　lead；　I　went　often　to　my　window。　Looking　at　the　towers　of

　　Frapesle；　visible　in　the　moonlight；　I　said　to　myself；　〃He　sleeps；

　　I　wake　for　him。〃　Delightful　feelings！　which　recall　the　happiest　of

　　my　life；　when　I　watched　Jacques　sleeping　in　his　cradle　and　waited

　　till　he　wakened；　to　feed　him　with　my　milk。　You　are　the　man…child

　　whose　soul　must　now　be　strengthened　by　precepts　never　taught　in

　　schools；　but　which　we　women　have　the　privilege　of　inculcating。

　　These　precepts　will　influence　your　success；　they　prepare　the　way

　　for　it；　they　will　secure　it。　Am　I　not　exercising　a　spiritual

　　motherhood　in　giving　you　a　standard　by　which　to　judge　the　actions

　　of　your　life；　a　motherhood　comprehended；　is　it　not；　by　the　child？

　　Dear　Felix；　let　me；　even　though　I　may　make　a　few　mistakes；　let　me

　　give　to　our　friendship　a　proof　of　the　disinterestedness　which

　　sanctifies　it。



　　In　yielding　you　to　the　world　I　am　renouncing　you；　but　I　love　you

　　too　well　not　to　sacrifice　my　happiness　to　your　welfare。　For　the

　　last　four　months　you　have　made　me　reflect　deeply　on　the　laws　and

　　customs　which　regulate　our　epoch。　The　conversations　I　have　had

　　with　my　aunt；　well…known　to　you　who　have　replaced　her；　the　events

　　of　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf's　life；　which　he　has　told　me；　the　tales

　　related　by　my　father；　to　whom　society　and　the　court　are　familiar

　　in　their　greatest　as　well　as　in　their　smallest　aspects；　all　these

　　have　risen　in　my　memory　for　the　benefit　of　my　adopted　child　at　the

　　moment　when　he　is　about　to　be　launched；　well…nigh　alone；　among

　　men；　about　to　act　without　adviser　in　a　world　where　many　are

　　wrecked　by　their　own　best　qualities　thoughtlessly　displayed；　while

　　others　succeed　through　a　judicious　use　of　their　worst。



　　I　ask　you　to　ponder　this　statement　of　my　opinion　of　society　as　a

　　whole；　it　is　concise；　for　to　you　a　few　words　are　sufficient。



　　I　do　not　know　whether　societies　are　of　divine　origin　or　whether

　　they　were　invented　by　man。　I　am　equally　ignorant　of　the　direction

　　in　which　they　tend。　What　I　do　know　certainly　is　the　fact　of　their

　　existence。　No　sooner　therefore　do　you　enter　society；　instead　of

　　living　a　life　apart；　than　you　are　bound　to　consider　its　conditions

　　binding；　a　contract　is　signed　between　you。　Does　society　in　these

　　days　gain　more　from　a　man　than　it　returns　to　him？　I　think　so；　but

　　as　to　whether　the　individual　man　finds　more　cost　than　profit；　or

　　buys　too　dear　the　advantages　he　obtains；　concerns　the　legislator

　　only；　I　have　nothing　to　say　to　that。　In　my　judgment　you　are　bound

　　to　obey　in　all　things　the　general　law；　without　discussion；　whether

　　it　injures　or　benefits　your　personal　interests。　This　principle　may

　　seem　to　you　a　very　simple　one；　but　it　is　difficult　of　application；

　　it　is　like　sap；　which　must　infiltrate　the　smallest　of　the

　　capillary　tubes　to　stir　the　tree；　renew　its　verdure；　develop　its

　　flowers；　and　ripen　fruit。　Dear；　the　laws　of　society　are　not　all

　　written　in　a　book；　manners　and　customs　create　laws；　the　more

　　important　of　which　are　often　the　least　known。　Believe　me；　there

　　are　neither　teachers；　nor　schools；　nor　text…books　for　the　laws

　　that　are　now　to　regulate　your　actions；　your　language；　your　visible

　　life；　the　manner　of　your　presentation　to　the　world；　and　your　quest

　　of　fortune。　Neglect　those　secret　laws　or　fail　to　understand　them；

　　and　you　stay　at　the　foot　of　the　social　system　instead　of　looking

　　down　upon　it。　Even　though　this　letter　may　seem　to　you　diffuse；

　　telling　you　much　that　you　have　already　thought；　let　me　confide　to

　　you　a　woman's　ethics。



　　To　explain　society　on　the　theory　of　individual　happiness　adroitly

　　won　at　the　cost　of　the　greater　number　is　a　monstrous　doctrine；

　　which　in　its　strict　application　leads　men　to　believe　that　all　they

　　can　secretly　lay　hold　of　before　the　law　or　society　or　other

　　individuals　condemn　it　as　a　wrong　is　honestly　and　fairly　theirs。

　　Once　admit　that　claim　and　the　clever　thief　goes　free；　the　woman

　　who　violates　her　marriage　vow　without　the　knowledge　of　the　world

　　is　virtuous　and　happy；　kill　a　man；　leaving　no　proof　for　justice；

　　and　if；　like　Macbeth；　you　win　a　crown　you　have　done　wisely；　your

　　selfish　interests　become　the　higher　law；　the　only　question　then　is

　　how　to　evade；　without　witnesses　or　proof；　the　obstacles　which　law

　　and　morality　place　between　you　and　your　self…indulgence。　To　those

　　who　hold　this　view　of　society；　the　problem　of　making　their

　　fortune；　my　dear　friend；　resolves　itself　into　playing　a　game　where

　　the　stakes　are　millions　or　the　galleys；　political　triumphs　or

　　dishonor。　Still；　the　green　cloth　is　not　long　enough　for　all　the

　　players；　and　a　certain　kind　of　genius　is　required　to　play　the

　　game。　I　say　nothing　of　religious　beliefs；　nor　yet　of　feelings；

　　what　concerns　us　now　is　the　running…gear　of　the　great　machine　of

　　gold　and　iron；　and　its　practical　results　with　which　men's　lives

　　are　occupied。　Dear　child　of　my　heart；　if　you　share　my　horror　at

　　this　criminal　theory　of　the　world；　society　will　present　to　your

　　mind；　as　it　does　to　all　sane　minds；　the　opposite　theory　of　duty。

　　Yes；　you　will　see　that　man　owes　himself　to　man　in　a　thousand

　　differing　ways。　To　my　mind；　the　duke　and　peer　owe　far　more　to　the

　　workman　and　the　pauper　than　the　pauper　and　the　workman　owe　to　the

　　duke。　The　obligations　of　duty　enlarge　in　proportion　to　the

　　benefits　which　society　bestows　on　men；　in　accordance　with　the

　　maxim；　as　true　in　social　politics　as　in　business；　that　the　burden

　　of　care　and　vigilance　is　everywhere　in　proportion　to　profits。　Each

　　man　pays　his　debt　in　his　own　way。　When　our　poor　toiler　at　the

　　Rhetoriere　comes　home　weary　with　his　day's　work　has　he　not　done

　　his　duty？　Assuredly　he　has　done　it　better　than　many　in　the　ranks

　　above　him。



　　If　you　take　this　view　of　society；　in　which　you　are　about　to　seek　a

　　place　in　keeping　with　your　intellect　and　your　faculties；　you　must

　　set　before　you　as　a　generating　principle　and　mainspring；　this

　　maxim：　never　permit　yourself　to　act　against　either　your　own

　　conscience　or　the　public　conscience。　Though　my　entreaty　may　seem

　　to　you　superfluous；　yet　I　entreat；　yes；　your　Henriette　implores

　　you　to　ponder　the　meaning　of　that　rule。　It　seems　simple　but；　dear；

　　it　means　that　integrity；　loyalty；　honor；　and　courtesy　are　the

　　safest　and　surest　instruments　for　your　success。　In　this　selfish

　　world　you　will　find　many　to　tell　you　that　a　man　cannot　make　his

　　way　by　sentiments；　that　too　much　respect　for　moral　considerations

　　will　hinder　his　advance。　It　is　not　so；　you　will　see　men　ill…

　　trained；　ill…taught；　incapable　of　measuring　the　future；　who　are

　　rough　to　a　child；　rude　to　an　old　woman；　unwilling　to　be　irked　by

　　some　worthy　old　man　on　the　ground　that　they　can　do　nothing　for

　　him；　later；　you　will　find　the　same　men　caught　by　the　thorns　which

　　they　might　have　rendered　pointless；　and　missing　their　triumph　for

　　some　trivial　reason；　whereas　the　man　who　is　early　trained　to　a

　　sense　of　duty　does　not　meet　the　same　obstacles；　he　may　attain

　　success　less　rapidly；　but　when　attained　it　is　solid　and　does　not

　　crumble　like　that　of　others。



　　When　I　show　you　that　the　application　of　this　doctrine　demands　in

　　the　first　place　a　mastery　of　the　science　of　manners；　you　may　think

　　my　jurisprudence　has　a　flavor　of　the　court　and　of　the　training　I

　　received　as　a　Lenoncourt。　My　dear