the lily of the valley-第25章

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　　my　jurisprudence　has　a　flavor　of　the　court　and　of　the　training　I

　　received　as　a　Lenoncourt。　My　dear　friend；　I　do　attach　great

　　importance　to　that　training；　trifling　as　it　seems。　You　will　find

　　that　the　habits　of　the　great　world　are　as　important　to　you　as　the

　　wide　and　varied　knowledge　that　you　possess。　Often　they　take　the

　　place　of　such　knowledge；　for　some　really　ignorant　men；　born　with

　　natural　gifts　and　accustomed　to　give　connection　to　their　ideas；

　　have　been　known　to　attain　a　grandeur　never　reached　by　others　far

　　more　worthy　of　it。　I　have　studied　you　thoroughly；　Felix；　wishing

　　to　know　if　your　education；　derived　wholly　from　schools；　has

　　injured　your　nature。　God　knows　the　joy　with　which　I　find　you　fit

　　for　that　further　education　of　which　I　speak。



　　The　manners　of　many　who　are　brought　up　in　the　traditions　of　the

　　great　world　are　purely　external；　true　politeness；　perfect　manners；

　　come　from　the　heart；　and　from　a　deep　sense　of　personal　dignity。

　　This　is　why　some　men　of　noble　birth　are；　in　spite　of　their

　　training；　ill…mannered；　while　others；　among　the　middle　classes；

　　have　instinctive　good　taste　and　only　need　a　few　lessons　to　give

　　them　excellent　manners　without　any　signs　of　awkward　imitation。

　　Believe　a　poor　woman　who　no　longer　leaves　her　valley　when　she

　　tells　you　that　this　dignity　of　tone；　this　courteous　simplicity　in

　　words；　in　gesture；　in　bearing；　and　even　in　the　character　of　the

　　home；　is　a　living　and　material　poem；　the　charm　of　which　is

　　irresistible；　imagine　therefore　what　it　is　when　it　takes　its

　　inspiration　from　the　heart。　Politeness；　dear；　consists　in　seeming

　　to　forget　ourselves　for　others；　with　many　it　is　social　cant；　laid

　　aside　when　personal　self…interest　shows　its　cloven…foot；　a　noble

　　then　becomes　ignoble。　Butand　this　is　what　I　want　you　to

　　practise；　Felixtrue　politeness　involves　a　Christian　principle；

　　it　is　the　flower　of　Love；　it　requires　that　we　forget　ourselves

　　really。　In　memory　of　your　Henriette；　for　her　sake；　be　not　a

　　fountain　without　water；　have　the　essence　and　the　form　of　true　

　　courtesy。　Never　fear　to　be　the　dupe　and　victim　of　this　social

　　virtue；　you　will　some　day　gather　the　fruit　of　seeds　scattered

　　apparently　to　the　winds。



　　My　father　used　to　say　that　one　of　the　great　offences　of　sham

　　politeness　was　the　neglect　of　promises。　When　anything　is　demanded

　　of　you　that　you　cannot　do；　refuse　positively　and　leave　no

　　loopholes　for　false　hopes；　on　the　other　hand；　grant　at　once

　　whatever　you　are　willing　to　bestow。　Your　prompt　refusal　will　make

　　you　friends　as　well　as　your　prompt　benefit；　and　your　character

　　will　stand　the　higher；　for　it　is　hard　to　say　whether　a　promise

　　forgotten；　a　hope　deceived　does　not　make　us　more　enemies　than　a

　　favor　granted　brings　us　friends。



　　Dear　friend；　there　are　certain　little　matters　on　which　I　may

　　dwell；　for　I　know　them；　and　it　comes　within　my　province　to　impart

　　them。　Be　not　too　confiding；　nor　frivolous；　nor　over　enthusiastic；

　　three　rocks　on　which　youth　often　strikes。　Too　confiding　a　nature

　　loses　respect；　frivolity　brings　contempt；　and　others　take

　　advantage　of　excessive　enthusiasm。　In　the　first　place；　Felix；　you

　　will　never　have　more　than　two　or　three　friends　in　the　course　of

　　your　life。　Your　entire　confidence　is　their　right；　to　give　it　to

　　many　is　to　betray　your　real　friends。　If　you　are　more　intimate　with

　　some　men　than　with　others　keep　guard　over　yourself；　be　as　cautious

　　as　though　you　knew　they　would　one　day　be　your　rivals；　or　your

　　enemies；　the　chances　and　changes　of　life　require　this。　Maintain　an

　　attitude　which　is　neither　cold　nor　hot；　find　the　medium　point　at

　　which　a　man　can　safely　hold　intercourse　with　others　without

　　compromising　himself。　Yes；　believe　me；　the　honest　man　is　as　far

　　from　the　base　cowardice　of　Philinte　as　he　is　from　the　harsh　virtue

　　of　Alceste。　The　genius　of　the　poet　is　displayed　in　the　mind　of

　　this　true　medium；　certainly　all　minds　do　enjoy　more　the　ridicule

　　of　virtue　than　the　sovereign　contempt　of　easy…going　selfishness

　　which　underlies　that　picture　of　it；　but　all；　nevertheless；　are

　　prompted　to　keep　themselves　from　either　extreme。



　　As　to　frivolity；　if　it　causes　fools　to　proclaim　you　a　charming

　　man；　others　who　are　accustomed　to　judge　of　men's　capacities　and

　　fathom　character；　will　winnow　out　your　tare　and　bring　you　to

　　disrepute；　for　frivolity　is　the　resource　of　weak　natures；　and

　　weakness　is　soon　appraised　in　a　society　which　regards　its　members

　　as　nothing　more　than　organsand　perhaps　justly；　for　nature

　　herself　puts　to　death　imperfect　beings。　A　woman's　protecting

　　instincts　may　be　roused　by　the　pleasure　she　feels　in　supporting

　　the　weak　against　the　strong；　and　in　leading　the　intelligence　of

　　the　heart　to　victory　over　the　brutality　of　matter；　but　society；

　　less　a　mother　than　a　stepmother；　adores　only　the　children　who

　　flatter　her　vanity。



　　As　to　ardent　enthusiasm；　that　first　sublime　mistake　of　youth；

　　which　finds　true　happiness　in　using　its　powers；　and　begins　by

　　being　its　own　dupe　before　it　is　the　dupe　of　others；　keep　it　within

　　the　region　of　the　heart's　communion；　keep　it　for　woman　and　for

　　God。　Do　not　hawk　its　treasures　in　the　bazaars　of　society　or　of

　　politics；　where　trumpery　will　be　offered　in　exchange　for　them。

　　Believe　the　voice　which　commands　you　to　be　noble　in　all　things

　　when　it　also　prays　you　not　to　expend　your　forces　uselessly。

　　Unhappily；　men　will　rate　you　according　to　your　usefulness；　and　not

　　according　to　your　worth。　To　use　an　image　which　I　think　will　strike

　　your　poetic　mind；　let　a　cipher　be　what　it　may；　immeasurable　in

　　size；　written　in　gold；　or　written　in　pencil；　it　is　only　a　cipher

　　after　all。　A　man　of　our　times　has　said；　〃No　zeal；　above　all；　no

　　zeal！〃　The　lesson　may　be　sad；　but　it　is　true；　and　it　saves　the

　　soul　from　wasting　its　bloom。　Hide　your　pure　sentiments；　or　put

　　them　in　regions　inaccessible；　where　their　blossoms　may　be

　　passionately　admired；　where　the　artist　may　dream　amorously　of　his

　　master…piece。　But　duties；　my　friend；　are　not　sentiments。　To　do

　　what　we　ought　is　by　no　means　to　do　what　we　like。　A　man　who　would

　　give　his　life　enthusiastically　for　a　woman　must　be　ready　to　die

　　coldly　for　his　country。



　　One　of　the　most　important　rules　in　the　science　of　manners　is　that

　　of　almost　absolute　silence　about　ourselves。　Play　a　little　comedy

　　for　your　own　instruction；　talk　of　yourself　to　acquaintances；　tell

　　them　about　your　sufferings；　your　pleasures；　your　business；　and　you

　　will　see　how　indifference　succeeds　pretended　interest；　then

　　annoyance　follows；　and　if　the　mistress　of　the　house　does　not　find

　　some　civil　way　of　stopping　you　the　company　will　disappear　under

　　various　pretexts　adroitly　seized。　Would　you；　on　the　other　hand；

　　gather　sympathies　about　you　and　be　spoken　of　as　amiable　and　witty；

　　and　a　true　friend？　talk　to　others　of　themselves；　find　a　way　to

　　bring　them　forward；　and　brows　will　clear；　lips　will　smile；　and

　　after　you　leave　the　room　all　present　will　praise　you。　Your

　　conscience　and　the　voice　of　your　own　heart　will　show　you　the　line

　　where　the　cowardice　of　flattery　begins　and　the　courtesy　of

　　intercourse　ceases。



　　One　word　more　about　a　young　man's　demeanor　in　public。　My　dear

　　friend；　youth　is　always　inclined　to　a　rapidity　of　judgment　which

　　does　it　honor；　but　also　injury。　This　was　why　the　old　system　of

　　education　obliged　young　people　to　keep　silence　and　study　life　in　a

　　probationary　period　beside　their　elders。　Formerly；　as　you　know；

　　nobility；　like　art；　had　its　apprentices；　its　pages；　devoted　body

　　and　soul　to　the　masters　who　maintained　them。　To…day　youth　is

　　forced　in　a　hot…house；　it　is　trained　to　judge　of　thoughts；

　　actions；　and　writings　with　biting　severity；　it　slashes　with　a

　　blade　that　has　not　been　fleshed。　Do　not　make　this　mistake。　Such

　　judgments　will　seem　like　censures　to　many　about　you；　who　would

　　sooner　pardon　an　open　rebuke　than　a　secret　wound。　Young　people　are

　　pitiless　because　they　know　nothing　of　life　and　its　difficulties。

　　The　old　critic　is　kind　and　considerate；　the　young　critic　is

　　implacable；　the　one　knows　nothing；　the　other　knows　all。　Moreover；

　　at　the　bottom　of　all　human　actions　there　is　a　labyrinth　of

　　determining　reasons　on　which　God　reserves　for　himself　the　final

　　judgment。　Be　severe　therefore　to　none　but　yourself。



　　Your　future　is　before　you；　but　no　one　in　the　world　can　make　his

　　way　unaided。　Therefore；　make　use　of　my　father's　house；　its　doors

　　are　open　to　you；　the　connections　that　you　will　create　for　yourself

　　under　his　roof　will　serve　you　in　a　hundred　ways。　But　do　not　yield

　　an　inch　of　ground　to　my　mother；　she　will　crush　any　one　who　gives

　　up　to　her；　but　she　will　admire　the　courage　of　whoever　resists　her。

　　She　is　like　iron；　which　if　beaten；　can　be　fused　with　iron；　but

　　when　cold　will　break　everything　less　hard　than　itself。　Cultivate

　　my　mother；　for　if　she　thinks　well　of　you　she　will　introduce　you

　　into　certain　houses　where　you　can　acquire　the　fatal　science　of　the

　　world；　the　art　of　listening；　speaking；　answering；　presenting

　　yourself　to　the　company　and　taking　leave　of　it；　the　precise　use　of

　　language；　the　somethinghow　shall　I　explain　it？which　is　no　more

　　superiority　than　the　coat　is　the　man；　but　without　which　the

　　highest　talent　in　the　world　will　never　be　admitted　within　those

　　portals。



　　I　know　you　well　enough　to　be　quite　sure　I　indulge　no　illusion　when

　　I　imagine　that　I　see　you　as　I　wish　you　to　be；　simple　in　manners；

　　gentle　in　tone；　proud　without　conceit；　respectful　to　the　old；

　　courteous　without　servility；　above　all；　discreet。　Use　your　wit　but

　　never　display　it　for　the　amusement　of　others；　for　be　sure　that　if

　　your　brilliancy　annoys　an　inferior　man；　he　will　retire　from　the

　　field　and　say　of　you　in　a　tone　of　contempt；　〃He　is　very　amusing。〃

　　Let　your　superiority　be　leonine。　Moreover；　do　not　be　always

　　seeking　to　please　others。　I　advise　a　certain　coldness　in　your

　　relations　with　men；　which　may　even　amount　to　indifference；　this

　　will　not　anger　others；　for　all　persons　esteem　those　who　slight

　　them；　and　it　will　win　you　the　favor　of　women；　who　will　respect　you

　　for　the　little　consequence　that　you　attach　to　men。　Never　remain　in

　　company　with　those　who　have　lost　their　reputation；　even　though

　　they　may　not　have　deserved　to　do　so；　for　society　holds　us

　　responsible　for　our　friendships　as　well　as　for　our　enmities。　In

　　this　matter　let　your　judgments　be　slowly　and　maturely　weighed；　but

　　see　that　they　are　irrevocable。　When　the　men　whom　you　have　repulsed

　　justify　the　repulsion；　your　esteem　and　regard　will　be　all　the　more

　　sought　after；　you　have　inspired　the　tacit　respect　which　raises　a

　　man　among　his　peers。　I　behold　you　now　armed　with　a　youth　that

　　pleases；　grace　which　attracts；　and　wisdom　with　which　to　preserve

　　your　conquest