some reminiscences-第22章

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at　length　the　feeling　of　my　brain　getting　addled　crept　upon　me。



And　still　the　passionless　process　went　on；　with　a　sense　of　untold



ages　having　been　spent　already　on　mere　preliminaries。　　Then　I　got



frightened。　　I　was　not　frightened　of　being　plucked；　that



eventuality　did　not　even　present　itself　to　my　mind。　　It　was



something　much　more　serious；　and　weird。　　〃This　ancient　person；〃　I



said　to　myself；　terrified；　〃is　so　near　his　grave　that　he　must



have　lost　all　notion　of　time。　　He　is　considering　this　examination



in　terms　of　eternity。　　It　is　all　very　well　for　him。　　His　race　is



run。　　But　I　may　find　myself　coming　out　of　this　room　into　the



world　of　men　a　stranger；　friendless；　forgotten　by　my　very



landlady；　even　were　I　able　after　this　endless　experience　to



remember　the　way　to　my　hired　home。〃　　This　statement　is　not　so



much　of　a　verbal　exaggeration　as　may　be　supposed。　　Some　very



queer　thoughts　passed　through　my　head　while　I　was　considering　my



answers；　thoughts　which　had　nothing　to　do　with　seamanship；　nor



yet　with　anything　reasonable　known　to　this　earth。　　I　verily



believe　that　at　times　I　was　lightheaded　in　a　sort　of　languid　way。



At　last　there　fell　a　silence；　and　that；　too；　seemed　to　last　for



ages；　while；　bending　over　his　desk；　the　examiner　wrote　out　my



pass…slip　slowly　with　a　noiseless　pen。　　He　extended　the　scrap　of



paper　to　me　without　a　word；　inclined　his　white　head　gravely　to　my



parting　bow。　。　。







When　I　got　out　of　the　room　I　felt　limply　flat；　like　a　squeezed



lemon；　and　the　door…keeper　in　his　glass　cage；　where　I　stopped　to



get　my　hat　and　tip　him　a　shilling；　said：







〃Well！　I　thought　you　were　never　coming　out。〃







〃How　long　have　I　been　in　there？〃　I　asked　faintly。







He　pulled　out　his　watch。







〃He　kept　you；　sir；　just　under　three　hours。　　I　don't　think　this



ever　happened　with　any　of　the　gentlemen　before。〃







It　was　only　when　I　got　out　of　the　building　that　I　began　to　walk



on　air。　　And　the　human　animal　being　averse　from　change　and　timid



before　the　unknown；　I　said　to　myself　that　I　would　not　mind　really



being　examined　by　the　same　man　on　a　future　occasion。　　But　when



the　time　of　ordeal　came　round　again　the　doorkeeper　let　me　into



another　room；　with　the　now　familiar　paraphernalia　of　models　of



ships　and　tackle；　a　board　for　signals　on　the　wall；　a　big　long



table　covered　with　official　forms；　and　having　an　unrigged　mast



fixed　to　the　edge。　　The　solitary　tenant　was　unknown　to　me　by



sight；　though　not　by　reputation；　which　was　simply　execrable。



Short　and　sturdy　as　far　as　I　could　judge；　clad　in　an　old；　brown；



morning…suit；　he　sat　leaning　on　his　elbow；　his　hand　shading　his



eyes；　and　half　averted　from　the　chair　I　was　to　occupy　on　the



other　side　of　the　table。　　He　was　motionless；　mysterious；　remote；



enigmatical；　with　something　mournful　too　in　the　pose；　like　that



statue　of　Giuliano　（I　think）　de'　Medici　shading　his　face　on　the



tomb　by　Michael　Angelo；　though；　of　course；　he　was　far；　far　from



being　beautiful。　　He　began　by　trying　to　make　me　talk　nonsense。



But　I　had　been　warned　of　that　fiendish　trait；　and　contradicted



him　with　great　assurance。　After　a　while　he　left　off。　　So　far



good。　　But　his　immobility；　the　thick　elbow　on　the　table；　the



abrupt；　unhappy　voice；　the　shaded　and　averted　face　grew　more　and



more　impressive。　　He　kept　inscrutably　silent　for　a　moment；　and



then；　placing　me　in　a　ship　of　a　certain　size；　at　sea；　under



certain　conditions　of　weather；　season；　locality；　&c。　&c。all



very　clear　and　preciseordered　me　to　execute　a　certain



manoeuvre。　　Before　I　was　half　through　with　it　he　did　some



material　damage　to　the　ship。　　Directly　I　had　grappled　with　the



difficulty　he　caused　another　to　present　itself；　and　when　that　too



was　met　he　stuck　another　ship　before　me；　creating　a　very



dangerous　situation。　　I　felt　slightly　outraged　by　this　ingenuity



in　piling　up　trouble　upon　a　man。







〃I　wouldn't　have　got　into　that　mess；〃　I　suggested　mildly。　　〃I



could　have　seen　that　ship　before。〃







He　never　stirred　the　least　bit。







〃No；　you　couldn't。　　The　weather's　thick。〃







〃Oh！　　I　didn't　know；〃　I　apologised　blankly。







I　suppose　that　after　all　I　managed　to　stave　off　the　smash　with



sufficient　approach　to　verisimilitude；　and　the　ghastly　business



went　on。　　You　must　understand　that　the　scheme　of　the　test　he　was



applying　to　me　was；　I　gathered；　a　homeward　passagethe　sort　of



passage　I　would　not　wish　to　my　bitterest　enemy。　　That　imaginary



ship　seemed　to　labour　under　a　most　comprehensive　curse。　　It's　no



use　enlarging　on　these　never…ending　misfortunes；　suffice　it　to



say　that　long　before　the　end　I　would　have　welcomed　with　gratitude



an　opportunity　to　exchange　into　the　〃Flying　Dutchman。〃　　Finally



he　shoved　me　into　the　North　Sea　（I　suppose）　and　provided　me　with



a　lee…shore　with　outlying　sandbanksthe　Dutch　coast　presumably。



Distance；　eight　miles。　　The　evidence　of　such　implacable　animosity



deprived　me　of　speech　for　quite　half　a　minute。







〃Well；〃　he　saidfor　our　pace　had　been　very　smart　indeed　till



then。







〃I　will　have　to　think　a　little；　sir。〃







〃Doesn't　look　as　if　there　were　much　time　to　think；〃　he　muttered



sardonically　from　under　his　hand。







〃No；　sir；〃　I　said　with　some　warmth。　　〃Not　on　board　a　ship　I　could



see。　　But　so　many　accidents　have　happened　that　I　really　can't



remember　what　there's　left　for　me　to　work　with。〃







Still　half　averted；　and　with　his　eyes　concealed；　he　made



unexpectedly　a　grunting　remark。







〃You've　done　very　well。〃







〃Have　I　the　two　anchors　at　the　bow；　sir？〃　I　asked。







〃Yes。〃







I　prepared　myself　then；　as　a　last　hope　for　the　ship；　to　let　them



both　go　in　the　most　effectual　manner；　when　his　infernal　system　of



testing　resourcefulness　came　into　play　again。







〃But　there's　only　one　cable。　　You've　lost　the　other。〃







It　was　exasperating。







〃Then　I　would　back　them；　if　I　could；　and　tail　the　heaviest　hawser



on　board　on　the　end　of　the　chain　before　letting　go；　and　if　she



parted　from　that；　which　is　quite　likely；　I　would　just　do　nothing。



She　would　have　to　go。〃







〃Nothing　more　to　do；　eh？〃







〃No；　sir。　　I　could　do　no　more。〃







He　gave　a　bitter　half…laugh。







〃You　could　always　say　your　prayers。〃







He　got　up；　stretched　himself；　and　yawned　slightly。　　It　was　a



sallow；　strong；　unamiable　face。　　He　put　me　in　a　surly；　bored



fashion　through　the　usual　questions　as　to　lights　and　signals；　and



I　escaped　from　the　room　thankfullypassed！　　Forty　minutes！　　And



again　I　walked　on　air　along　Tower　Hill；　where　so　many　good　men



had　lost　their　heads；　because；　I　suppose；　they　were　not



resourceful　enough　to　save　them。　　And　in　my　heart　of　hearts　I　had



no　objection　to　meeting　that　examiner　once　more　when　the　third



and　last　ordeal　became　due　in　another　year　or　so。　　I　even　hoped　I



should。　　I　knew　the　worst　of　him　now；　and　forty　minutes　is　not　an



unreasonable　time。　　Yes；　I　distinctly　hoped。　。　。







But　not　a　bit　of　it。　　When　I　presented　myself　to　be　examined　for



Master　the　examiner　who　received　me　was　short；　plump；　with　a



round；　soft　face　in　grey；　fluffy　whiskers；　and　fresh；　loquacious



lips。







He　commenced　operations　with　an　easy…going　〃Let's　see。　　H'm。



Suppose　you　tell　me　all　you　know　of　charter…parties。〃　　He　kept　it



up　in　that　style　all　through；　wandering　off　in　the　shape　of



comment　into　bits　out　of　his　own　life；　then　pulling　himself　up



short　and　returning　to　the　business　in　hand。　It　was　very



interesting。　　〃What's　your　idea　of　a　jury…rudder　now？〃　he　queried



suddenly；　at　the　end　of　an　instructive　anecdote　bearing　upon　a



point　of　stowage。







I　warned　him　that　I　had　no　experience　of　a　lost　rudder　at　sea；



and　gave　him　two　classical　examples　of　makeshifts　out　of　a　text…



book。　　In　exchange　he　described　to　me　a　jury…rudder　he　had



invented　himself　years　before；　when　in　command　of　a　3000…ton



steamer。　　It　was；　I　declare；　the　cleverest　contrivance



imaginable。　　〃May　be　of　use　to　you　some　day；〃　he　concluded。　　〃You



will　go　into　steam　presently。　　Everybody　goes　into　steam。〃







There　he　was　wrong。　　I　never　went　into　steamnot　really。　　If　I



only　live　long　enough　I　shall　become　a　bizarre　relic　of　a　dead



barbarism；　a　sort　of　monstrous　antiquity；　the　only　seaman　of　the



dark　ages　who　had　never　gone　into　steamnot　really。







Before　the　examination　was　over　he　imparted　to　me　a　few



interesting　details　of　the　transport　service　in　the　time　of　the



Crimean　War。







〃The　use　of　wire　rigging　became　general　about　that　time　too；〃　he



observed。　〃I　was　a　very　young　master　then。　　That　was　before　you



were　born。〃







〃Yes；　sir。　　I　am　of　the　year　1857。〃







〃The　Mutiny　year；〃　he　commented；　as　if　to　himself；　adding　in　a



louder　tone　that　his　ship　happened　then　to　be　in　the　Gulf　of



Bengal；　employed　under　a　Government　charter。







Clearly　the　transport　service　had　been　the　making　of　this



examiner；　who　so　unexpectedly　had　given　me　an　insight　into　his



existence；　awakening　in　me　the　sense　of　the　continuity　of　that



sea…life　into　which　I　had　stepped　from　outside；　giving　a　touch　of



human　intimacy　to　the　machinery　of　official　relations。　　I　felt



adopted。　　His　experience　was　for　me；　too；　as　though　he　had　been



an　ancestor。







Writing　my　long　name　（it　has　twelve　letters）　with　laborious　care



on　the　slip　of　blue　paper；　he　remarked：







〃You　are　of　Polish　extraction。〃







〃Born　there；　sir。〃







He　laid　down　the　pen　and　leaned　back　to　look　at　me　as　it　were　for



the　first　time。







〃Not　many　of　your　nationality　in　our　service；　I　should　think。　　I



never　remember　meeting　one　either　before　or　after　I　left　the　sea。



Don't　remember　ever　hearing　of　one。　　An　inland　people；　aren't



you？〃







I　said　yesvery　much　so。　　We　were　remote　from　the　sea　not　only



by　situation；　but　also　from　a　complete　absence　of　indirect



association；　not　being　a　commercial　nation　at　all；　but　purely



agricultural。　　He　made　then　the　quaint　reflection　that　it　was　〃a



long　way　for　me　to　come　out　to　begin　a　sea…life〃；　as　if　sea…life



were　not　precisely　a　life　in　which　one　goes　a　long　way　from　home。







I　told　him；　smiling；　that　no　doubt　I　could　have　found　a　ship　much



nearer　my　native　place；　but　I　had　thought　to　myself　that　if　I　was



to　be　a