some reminiscences-第21章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！





it　may　be；　it　is　in　no　sense　offensive。　　One　may　well　feel　some



regard　for　honesty；　even　if　practised　upon　one's　own　vile　body。



But　it　is　very　obvious　that　an　enemy　of　that　sort　will　not　be



stayed　by　explanations　or　placated　by　apologies。　　Were　I　to



advance　the　plea　of　youth　in　excuse　of　the　naiveness　to　be　found



in　these　pages；　he　would　be　likely　to　say　〃Bosh！〃　in　a　column　and



a　half　of　fierce　print。　　Yet　a　writer　is　no　older　than　his　first



published　book；　and；　notwithstanding　the　vain　appearances　of



decay　which　attend　us　in　this　transitory　life；　I　stand　here　with



the　wreath　of　only　fifteen　short　summers　on　my　brow。







With　the　remark；　then；　that　at　such　tender　age　some　naiveness　of



feeling　and　expression　is　excusable；　I　proceed　to　admit　that；



upon　the　whole；　my　previous　state　of　existence　was　not　a　good



equipment　for　a　literary　life。　Perhaps　I　should　not　have　used　the



word　literary。　　That　word　presupposes　an　intimacy　of　acquaintance



with　letters；　a　turn　of　mind　and　a　manner　of　feeling　to　which　I



dare　lay　no　claim。　　I　only　love　letters；　but　the　love　of　letters



does　not　make　a　literary　man；　any　more　than　the　love　of　the　sea



makes　a　seaman。　　And　it　is　very　possible；　too；　that　I　love　the



letters　in　the　same　way　a　literary　man　may　love　the　sea　he　looks



at　from　the　shorea　scene　of　great　endeavour　and　of　great



achievements　changing　the　face　of　the　world；　the　great　open　way



to　all　sorts　of　undiscovered　countries。　　No；　perhaps　I　had　better



say　that　the　life　at　seaand　I　don't　mean　a　mere　taste　of　it；



but　a　good　broad　span　of　years；　something　that　really　counts　as



real　serviceis　not；　upon　the　whole；　a　good　equipment　for　a



writing　life。　　God　forbid；　though；　that　I　should　be　thought　of　as



denying　my　masters　of　the　quarter…deck。　　I　am　not　capable　of　that



sort　of　apostasy。　　I　have　confessed　my　attitude　of　piety　towards



their　shades　in　three　or　four　tales；　and　if　any　man　on　earth　more



than　another　needs　to　be　true　to　himself　as　he　hopes　to　be　saved；



it　is　certainly　the　writer　of　fiction。







What　I　meant　to　say；　simply；　is　that　the　quarter…deck　training



does　not　prepare　one　sufficiently　for　the　reception　of　literary



criticism。　　Only　that；　and　no　more。　　But　this　defect　is　not



without　gravity。　　If　it　be　permissible　to　twist；　invert；　adapt



（and　spoil）　M。　Anatole　France's　definition　of　a　good　critic；　then



let　us　say　that　the　good　author　is　he　who　contemplates　without



marked　joy　or　excessive　sorrow　the　adventures　of　his　soul　amongst



criticisms。　　Far　be　from　me　the　intention　to　mislead　an　attentive



public　into　the　belief　that　there　is　no　criticism　at　sea。　　That



would　be　dishonest；　and　even　impolite。　　Everything　can　be　found



at　sea；　according　to　the　spirit　of　your　queststrife；　peace；



romance；　naturalism　of　the　most　pronounced　kind；　ideals；　boredom；



disgust；　inspirationand　every　conceivable　opportunity；



including　the　opportunity　to　make　a　fool　of　yourselfexactly　as



in　the　pursuit　of　literature。　　But　the　quarter…deck　criticism　is



somewhat　different　from　literary　criticism。　　This　much　they　have



in　common；　that　before　the　one　and　the　other　the　answering　back；



as　a　general　rule；　does　not　pay。







Yes；　you　find　criticism　at　sea；　and　even　appreciationI　tell　you



everything　is　to　be　found　on　salt　watercriticism　generally



impromptu；　and　always　viva　voce；　which　is　the　outward；　obvious



difference　from　the　literary　operation　of　that　kind；　with



consequent　freshness　and　vigour　which　may　be　lacking　in　the



printed　word。　　With　appreciation；　which　comes　at　the　end；　when



the　critic　and　the　criticised　are　about　to　part；　it　is　otherwise。



The　sea　appreciation　of　one's　humble　talents　has　the　permanency



of　the　written　word；　seldom　the　charm　of　variety；　is　formal　in



its　phrasing。　　There　the　literary　master　has　the　superiority；



though　he；　too；　can　in　effect　but　sayand　often　says　it　in　the



very　phrase〃I　can　highly　recommend。〃　　Only　usually　he　uses　the



word　〃We；〃　there　being　some　occult　virtue　in　the　first　person



plural；　which　makes　it　specially　fit　for　critical　and　royal



declarations。　　I　have　a　small　handful　of　these　sea　appreciations；



signed　by　various　masters；　yellowing　slowly　in　my　writing…table's



left…hand　drawer；　rustling　under　my　reverent　touch；　like　a



handful　of　dry　leaves　plucked　for　a　tender　memento　from　the　tree



of　knowledge。　　Strange！　　It　seems　that　it　is　for　these　few　bits



of　paper；　headed　by　the　names　of　a　few　ships　and　signed　by　the



names　of　a　few　Scots　and　English　shipmasters；　that　I　have　faced



the　astonished　indignations；　the　mockeries　and　the　reproaches　of



a　sort　hard　to　bear　for　a　boy　of　fifteen；　that　I　have　been



charged　with　the　want　of　patriotism；　the　want　of　sense；　and　the



want　of　heart　too；　that　I　went　through　agonies　of　self…conflict



and　shed　secret　tears　not　a　few；　and　had　the　beauties　of　the



Furca　Pass　spoiled　for　me；　and　have　been　called　an　〃incorrigible



Don　Quixote；〃　in　allusion　to　the　book…born　madness　of　the　knight。



For　that　spoil！　　They　rustle；　those　bits　of　papersome　dozen　of



them　in　all。　　In　that　faint；　ghostly　sound　there　live　the



memories　of　twenty　years；　the　voices　of　rough　men　now　no　more；



the　strong　voice　of　the　everlasting　winds；　and　the　whisper　of　a



mysterious　spell；　the　murmur　of　the　great　sea；　which　must　have



somehow　reached　my　inland　cradle　and　entered　my　unconscious　ear；



like　that　formula　of　Mohammedan　faith　the　Mussulman　father



whispers　into　the　ear　of　his　new…born　infant；　making　him　one　of



the　faithful　almost　with　his　first　breath。　　I　do　not　know　whether



I　have　been　a　good　seaman；　but　I　know　I　have　been　a　very　faithful



one。　　And　after　all　there　is　that　handful　of　〃characters〃　from



various　ships　to　prove　that　all　these　years　have　not　been



altogether　a　dream。　　There　they　are；　brief；　and　monotonous　in



tone；　but　as　suggestive　bits　of　writing　to　me　as　any　inspired



page　to　be　found　in　literature。　　But　then；　you　see；　I　have　been



called　romantic。　　Well；　that　can't　be　helped。　　But　stay。　　I　seem



to　remember　that　I　have　been　called　a　realist　also。　　And　as　that



charge　too　can　be　made　out；　let　us　try　to　live　up　to　it；　at



whatever　cost；　for　a　change。　　With　this　end　in　view；　I　will



confide　to　you　coyly；　and　only　because　there　is　no　one　about　to



see　my　blushes　by　the　light　of　the　midnight　lamp；　that　these



suggestive　bits　of　quarter…deck　appreciation　one　and　all　contain



the　words　〃strictly　sober。〃







Did　I　overhear　a　civil　murmur；　〃That's　very　gratifying；　to　be



sure〃？　　Well；　yes；　it　is　gratifyingthank　you。　　It　is　at　least



as　gratifying　to　be　certified　sober　as　to　be　certified　romantic；



though　such　certificates　would　not　qualify　one　for　the



secretaryship　of　a　temperance　association　or　for　the　post　of



official　troubadour　to　some　lordly　democratic　institution　such　as



the　London　County　Council；　for　instance。　　The　above　prosaic



reflection　is　put　down　here　only　in　order　to　prove　the　general



sobriety　of　my　judgment　in　mundane　affairs。　　I　make　a　point　of　it



because　a　couple　of　years　ago；　a　certain　short　story　of　mine



being　published　in　a　French　translation；　a　Parisian　criticI　am



almost　certain　it　was　M。　Gustave　Kahn　in　the　〃Gil…Blas〃giving



me　a　short　notice；　summed　up　his　rapid　impression　of　the　writer's



quality　in　the　words　un　puissant　reveur。　　So　be　it！　　Who　would



cavil　at　the　words　of　a　friendly　reader？　　Yet　perhaps　not　such　an



unconditional　dreamer　as　all　that。　　I　will　make　bold　to　say　that



neither　at　sea　nor　ashore　have　I　ever　lost　the　sense　of



responsibility。　　There　is　more　than　one　sort　of　intoxication。



Even　before　the　most　seductive　reveries　I　have　remained　mindful



of　that　sobriety　of　interior　life；　that　asceticism　of　sentiment；



in　which　alone　the　naked　form　of　truth；　such　as　one　conceives　it；



such　as　one　feels　it；　can　be　rendered　without　shame。　　It　is　but　a



maudlin　and　indecent　verity　that　comes　out　through　the　strength



of　wine。　　I　have　tried　to　be　a　sober　worker　all　my　lifeall　my



two　lives。　　I　did　so　from　taste；　no　doubt；　having　an　instinctive



horror　of　losing　my　sense　of　full　self…possession；　but　also　from



artistic　conviction。　　Yet　there　are　so　many　pitfalls　on　each　side



of　the　true　path　that；　having　gone　some　way；　and　feeling　a　little



battered　and　weary；　as　a　middle…aged　traveller　will　from　the　mere



daily　difficulties　of　the　march；　I　ask　myself　whether　I　have　kept



always；　always　faithful　to　that　sobriety　wherein　there　is　power；



and　truth；　and　peace。







As　to　my　sea…sobriety；　that　is　quite　properly　certified　under　the



sign…manual　of　several　trustworthy　shipmasters　of　some　standing



in　their　time。　　I　seem　to　hear　your　polite　murmur　that　〃Surely



this　might　have　been　taken　for　granted。〃　　Well；　no。　　It　might　not



have　been。　　That　august　academical　body　the　Marine　Department　of



the　Board　of　Trade　takes　nothing　for　granted　in　the　granting　of



its　learned　degrees。　　By　its　regulations　issued　under　the　first



Merchant　Shipping　Act；　the　very　word　SOBER　must　be　written；　or　a



whole　sackful；　a　ton；　a　mountain　of　the　most　enthusiastic



appreciation　will　avail　you　nothing。　　The　door　of　the　examination



rooms　shall　remain　closed　to　your　tears　and　entreaties。　　The　most



fanatical　advocate　of　temperance　could　not　be　more　pitilessly



fierce　in　his　rectitude　than　the　Marine　Department　of　the　Board



of　Trade。　　As　I　have　been　face　to　face　at　various　times　with　all



the　examiners　of　the　Port　of　London；　in　my　generation；　there　can



be　no　doubt　as　to　the　force　and　the　continuity　of　my



abstemiousness。　　Three　of　them　were　examiners　in　seamanship；　and



it　was　my　fate　to　be　delivered　into　the　hands　of　each　of　them　at



proper　intervals　of　sea　service。　　The　first　of　all；　tall；　spare；



with　a　perfectly　white　head　and　moustache；　a　quiet；　kindly



manner；　and　an　air　of　benign　intelligence；　must；　I　am　forced　to



conclude；　have　been　unfavourably　impressed　by　something　in　my



appearance。　　His　old　thin　hands　loosely　clasped　resting　on　his



crossed　legs；　he　began　by　an　elementary　question　in　a　mild　voice；



and　went　on；　went　on。　。　。It　lasted　for　hours；　for　hours。　　Had　I



been　a　strange　microbe　with　potentialities　of　deadly　mischief　to



the　Merchant　Service　I　could　not　have　been　submitted　to　a　more



microscopic　examination。　　Greatly　reassured　by　his　apparent



benevolence；　I　had　been　at　first　very　alert　in　my　answers。　　But



at　length　the　feeling　of　my　brain　getting　addled　crept　upon　me。