letters of two brides-第28章

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In　the　first　place；　my　child；　from　what　you　have　yourself　told　me；　it
is　clear　that　the　one　unpardonable　sin　in　society　is　to　be　happy。　If
happiness　exists；　no　one　must　know　of　it。　But　this　is　a　small　point。
What　seems　to　me　important　is　that　the　perfect　equality　which　reigns
between　lovers　ought　never　to　appear　in　the　case　of　husband　and　wife；
under　pain　of　undermining　the　whole　fabric　of　society　and　entailing
terrible　disasters。　If　it　is　painful　to　see　a　man　whom　nature　has　made
a　nonentity；　how　much　worse　is　the　spectacle　of　a　man　of　parts　brought
to　that　position？　Before　very　long　you　will　have　reduced　Macumer　to
the　mere　shadow　of　a　man。　He　will　cease　to　have　a　will　and　character
of　his　own；　and　become　mere　clay　in　your　hands。　You　will　have　so
completely　moulded　him　to　your　likeness；　that　your　household　will
consist　of　only　one　person　instead　of　two；　and　that　one　necessarily
imperfect。　You　will　regret　it　bitterly；　but　when　at　last　you　deign　to
open　your　eyes；　the　evil　will　be　past　cure。　Do　what　we　will；　women　do
not；　and　never　will；　possess　the　qualities　which　are　characteristic　of
men；　and　these　qualities　are　absolutely　indispensable　to　family　life。
Already　Macumer；　blinded　though　he　is；　has　a　dim　foreshadowing　of　this
future；　he　feels　himself　less　a　man　through　his　love。　His　visit　to
Sardinia　is　a　proof　to　me　that　he　hopes　by　this　temporary　separation
to　succeed　in　recovering　his　old　self。

You　never　scruple　to　use　the　power　which　his　love　has　placed　in　your
hand。　Your　position　of　vantage　may　be　read　in　a　gesture；　a　look；　a
tone。　Oh！　darling；　how　truly　are　you　the　mad　wanton　your　mother　called
you！　You　do　not　question；　I　fancy；　that　I　am　greatly　Louis'　superior。
Well；　I　would　ask　you；　have　you　ever　heard　me　contradict　him？　Am　I　not
always；　in　the　presence　of　others；　the　wife　who　respects　in　him　the
authority　of　the　family？　Hypocrisy！　you　will　say。　Well；　listen　to　me。
It　is　true　that　if　I　want　to　give　him　any　advice　which　I　think　may　be
of　use　to　him；　I　wait　for　the　quiet　and　seclusion　of　our　bedroom　to
explain　what　I　think　and　wish；　but；　I　assure　you；　sweetheart；　that
even　there　I　never　arrogate　to　myself　the　place　of　mentor。　If　I　did
not　remain　in　private　the　same　submissive　wife　that　I　appear　to
others；　he　would　lose　confidence　in　himself。　Dear；　the　good　we　do　to
others　is　spoilt　unless　we　efface　ourselves　so　completely　that　those
we　help　have　no　sense　of　inferiority。　There　is　a　wonderful　sweetness
in　these　hidden　sacrifices；　and　what　a　triumph　for　me　in　your
unsuspecting　praises　of　Louis！　There　can　be　no　doubt　also　that　the
happiness；　the　comfort；　the　hope　of　the　last　two　years　have　restored
what　misfortune；　hardship；　solitude；　and　despondency　has　robbed　him
of。

This；　then；　is　the　sum…total　of　my　observations。　At　the　present　moment
you　love　in　Felipe；　not　your　husband；　but　yourself。　There　is　truth　in
your　father's　words；　concealed　by　the　spring…flowers　of　your　passion
lies　all　the　great　lady's　selfishness。　Ah！　my　child；　how　I　must　love
you　to　speak　such　bitter　truths！

Let　me　tell　you；　if　you　will　promise　never　to　breathe　a　word　of　this
to　the　Baron；　the　end　of　our　talk。　We　had　been　singing　your　praises　in
every　key；　for　he　soon　discovered　that　I　loved　you　like　a　fondly…
cherished　sister；　and　having　insensibly　brought　him　to　a　confidential
mood；　I　ventured　to　say：

〃Louise　has　never　yet　had　to　struggle　with　life。　She　has　been　the
spoilt　child　of　fortune；　and　she　might　yet　have　to　pay　for　this　were
you　not　there　to　act　the　part　of　father　as　well　as　lover。〃

〃Ah！　but　is　it　possible？　。　。　。〃　He　broke　off　abruptly；　like　a　man　who
sees　himself　on　the　edge　of　a　precipice。　But　the　exclamation　was
enough　for　me。　No　doubt；　if　you　had　stayed；　he　would　have　spoken　more
freely　later。

My　sweet；　think　of　the　day　awaiting　you　when　your　husband's　strength
will　be　exhausted；　when　pleasure　will　have　turned　to　satiety；　and　he
sees　himself；　I　will　not　say　degraded；　but　shorn　of　his　proper　dignity
before　you。　The　stings　of　conscience　will　then　waken　a　sort　of　remorse
in　him；　all　the　more　painful　for　you；　because　you　will　feel　yourself
responsible；　and　you　will　end　by　despising　the　man　whom　you　have　not
accustomed　yourself　to　respect。　Remember；　too；　that　scorn　with　a　woman
is　only　the　earliest　phase　of　hatred。　You　are　too　noble　and　generous；
I　know；　ever　to　forget　the　sacrifices　which　Felipe　has　made　for　you；
but　what　further　sacrifices　will　be　left　for　him　to　make　when　he　has；
so　to　speak；　served　up　himself　at　the　first　banquet？　Woe　to　the　man；
as　to　the　woman；　who　has　left　no　desire　unsatisfied！　All　is　over　then。
To　our　shame　or　our　glorythe　point　is　too　nice　for　me　to　decideit
is　of　love　alone　that　women　are　insatiable。

Oh！　Louise；　change　yet；　while　there　is　still　time。　If　you　would　only
adopt　the　same　course　with　Macumer　that　I　have　done　with　l'Estorade；
you　might　rouse　the　sleeping　lion　in　your　husband；　who　is　made　of　the
stuff　of　heroes。　One　might　almost　say　that　you　grudge　him　his
greatness。　Would　you　feel　no　pride　in　using　your　power　for　other　ends
than　your　own　gratification；　in　awakening　the　genius　of　a　gifted　man；
as　I　in　raising　to　a　higher　level　one　of　merely　common　parts？

Had　you　remained　with　us；　I　should　still　have　written　this　letter；　for
in　talking　you　might　have　cut　me　short　or　got　the　better　of　me　with
your　sharp　tongue。　But　I　know　that　you　will　read　this　thoughtfully　and
weigh　my　warnings。　Dear　heart；　you　have　everything　in　life　to　make　you
happy；　do　not　spoil　your　chances；　return　to　Paris；　I　entreat　you；　as
soon　as　Macumer　comes　back。　The　engrossing　claims　of　society；　of　which
I　complained；　are　necessary　for　both　of　you；　otherwise　you　would　spend
your　life　in　mutual　self…absorption。　A　married　woman　ought　not　to　be
too　lavish　of　herself。　The　mother　of　a　family；　who　never　gives　her
household　an　opportunity　of　missing　her；　runs　the　risk　of　palling　on
them。　If　I　have　several　children；　as　I　trust　for　my　own　sake　I　may；　I
assure　you　I　shall　make　a　point　of　reserving　to　myself　certain　hours
which　shall　be　held　sacred；　even　to　one's　children　one's　presence
should　not　be　a　matter　of　daily　bread。

Farewell；　my　dear　jealous　soul！　Do　you　know　that　many　women　would　be
highly　flattered　at　having　roused　this　passing　pang　in　you？　Alas！　I
can　only　mourn；　for　what　is　not　mother　in　me　is　your　dear　friend。　A
thousand　loves。　Make　what　excuse　you　will　for　leaving；　if　you　are　not
sure　of　Macumer；　I　am　of　Louis。



XXXVII

THE　BARONNE　DE　MACUMER　TO　THE　VICOMTESSE　DE　L'ESTORADE
Genoa。

My　beloved　beauty；I　was　bitten　with　the　fancy　to　see　something　of
Italy；　and　I　am　delighted　at　having　carried　off　Macumer；　whose　plans
in　regard　to　Sardinia　are　postponed。

This　country　is　simple　ravishing。　The　churchesabove　all；　the　chapels
have　a　seductive；　bewitching　air；　which　must　make　every　female
Protestant　yearn　after　Catholicism。　Macumer　has　been　received　with
acclamation；　and　they　are　all　delighted　to　have　made　an　Italian　of　so
distinguished　a　man。　Felipe　could　have　the　Sardinian　embassy　at　Paris
if　I　cared　about　it；　for　I　am　made　much　of　at　court。

If　you　write；　address　your　letters　to　Florence。　I　have　not　time　now　to
go　into　any　details；　but　I　will　tell　you　the　story　of　our　travels
whenever　you　come　to　Paris。　We　only　remain　here　a　week；　and　then　go　on
to　Florence；　taking　Leghorn　on　the　way。　We　shall　stay　a　month　in
Tuscany　and　a　month　at　Naples；　so　as　to　reach　Rome　in　November。　Thence
we　return　home　by　Venice；　where　we　shall　spend　the　first　fortnight　of
December；　and　arrive　in　Paris；　/via/　Milan　and　Turin；　for　January。

Our　journey　is　a　perfect　honeymoon；　the　sight　of　new　places　gives
fresh　life　to　our　passion。　Macumer　did　not　know　Italy　at　all；　and　we
have　begun　with　that　splendid　Cornice　road；　which　might　be　the　work　of
fairy　architects。

Good…bye；　darling。　Don't　be　angry　if　I　don't　write。　It　is　impossible
to　get　a　minute　to　oneself　in　traveling；　my　whole　time　is　taken　up
with　seeing；　admiring；　and　realizing　my　impressions。　But　not　a　word　to
you　of　these　till　memory　has　given　them　their　proper　atmosphere。



XXXVIII

THE　VICOMTESSE　DE　L'ESTORADE　TO　THE　BARONNE　DE　MACUMER
September。

My　dear；There　is　lying　for　you　at　Chantepleurs　a　full　reply　to　the
letter　you　wrote　me　from　Marseilles。　This　honeymoon　journey；　so　far
from　diminishing　the　fears　I　there　expressed；　makes　me　beg　of　you　to
get　my　letter　sent　on　from　Nivernais。

The　Government；　it　is　said；　are　resolved　on　dissolution。　This　is
unlucky　for　the　Crown；　since　the　last　session　of　this　loyal　Parliament
would　have　been　devoted　to　the　passing　of　laws；　essential　to　the
consolidation　of　its　power；　and　it　is　not　less　so　for　us；　as　Louis
will　not　be　forty　till　the　end　of　1827。　Fortunately；　however；　my
father　has　agreed　to　stand；　and　he　will　resign　his　seat　when　the　right
moment　arrives。

Your　godson　has　found　out　how　to　walk　without　his　godmother's　help。　He
is　altogether　delicious；　and　begins　to　make　the　prettiest　little　signs
to　me；　which　bring　home　to　one　that　here　is　really　a　thinking　being；
not　a　mere　animal　or　sucking　machine。　His　smiles　are　full　of　meaning。
I　have　been　so　successful　in　my　profession　of　nurse　that　I　shall　wean
Armand　in　December。　A　year　at　the　breast　is　quite　enough；　children　who
are　suckled　longer　are　said　to　grow　stupid；　and　I　am　all　for　popular
sayings。

You　must　make　a　tremendous　sensation　in　Italy；　my　fair　one　with　the
golden　locks。　A　thousand　loves。



XXXIX

THE　BARONNE　DE　MACUMER　TO　THE　VICOMTESSE　DE　L'ESTORADE

Your　atrocious　letter　has　reached　me　here；　the　steward　having
forwarded　it　by　my　orders。　Oh！　Renee　。　。　。　but　I　will　spare　you　the
outburst　of　my　wounded　feelings；　and　simply　tell　you　the　effect　your
letter　produced。

We　had　just　returned　from　a　delightful　reception　given　in　our　honor　by
the　ambassador；　where　I　appeared　in　all　my　glory；　and　Macumer　was
completely　carried　away　in　a　frenzy　of　love　which　I　could　not
describe。　Then　I　read　him　your　horrible　answer　to　my　letter；　and　I
read　it　sobbing；　at　the　risk　of　making　a　fright　of　myself。　My　dear
Arab　fell　at　my　feet；　declaring　that　you　raved。　Then　he　carried　me　off
to　the　balcony　of　the　palace　where　we　are　staying；　from　which　we　have
a　view　over　part　of　the　city；　there　he　spoke　to　me　words　worthy　of　the
magnificent　moonlight　scene　which　lay　stretched　before　us。　We　both
speak　Italian　now；　and　his　love；　told　in　that　voluptuous　tongue；　so
admirably　adapted　to　the　expression　of　passion；　sounded　in　my　ears
like　the　most　exquisite　poetry。　He　swore　that；　even　were　you　right　in
your　predictions；　he　would　not　exchange　for　a　lifetime　a　single　one　of
our　blessed　nights　or　charming　mornings。　At　this　reckoning　he　has
already　lived　a　thousand　years。　He　is　content　to　have　me　for　his
mistress；　and　would　claim　no　other　title　than　that　of　lover。　So　proud
and　pleased　is　he　to　see　himself　every　day　the　chosen　of　my　heart；
that　were　Heaven　to　offer　him　the　alternative　between　living　as　you
would　have　us　to　for　another　thirty　years　with　five　children；　and　five
years　spent　amid　the　dear　roses　of　our　love；　he　would　not　hesitate。　He
would　take　my　love；　such　as　it　is；　and　death。

While　he　was　whispering　this　in　my　ear；　his　arm　round　me；　my　head
rest