letters of two brides-第22章

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happens　that　a　mother　who　has　lived　on　excellent　terms　with　her
daughter；　as　long　as　the　daughter　is　a　mere　girl；　comes　to　cross
purposes　with　her　when　they　are　both　women　together。

〃It　is　your　happiness　which　I　want；　so　listen　to　my　words。　The　love
which　you　now　feel　is　that　of　a　young　girl；　and　is　natural　to　us　all；
for　it　is　woman's　destiny　to　cling　to　a　man。　Unhappily；　pretty　one；
there　is　but　one　man　in　the　world　for　a　woman！　And　sometimes　this　man；
whom　fate　has　marked　out　for　us；　is　not　the　one　whom　we；　mistaking　a
passing　fancy　for　love；　choose　as　husband。　Strange　as　what　I　say　may
appear　to　you；　it　is　worth　noting。　If　we　cannot　love　the　man　we　have
chosen；　the　fault　is　not　exclusively　ours；　it　lies　with　both；　or
sometimes　with　circumstances　over　which　we　have　no　control。　Yet　there
is　no　reason　why　the　man　chosen　for　us　by　our　family；　the　man　to　whom
our　fancy　has　gone　out；　should　not　be　the　man　whom　we　can　love。　The
barriers　which　arise　later　between　husband　and　wife　are　often　due　to
lack　of　perseverance　on　both　sides。　The　task　of　transforming　a　husband
into　a　lover　is　not　less　delicate　than　that　other　task　of　making　a
husband　of　the　lover；　in　which　you　have　just　proved　yourself
marvelously　successful。

〃I　repeat　it；　your　happiness　is　my　object。　Never　allow　yourself；　then；
to　forget　that　the　first　three　months　of　your　married　life　may　work
your　misery　if　you　do　not　submit　to　the　yoke　with　the　same
forbearance；　tenderness；　and　intelligence　that　you　have　shown　during
the　days　of　courtship。　For；　my　little　rogue；　you　know　very　well　that
you　have　indulged　in　all　the　innocent　pleasures　of　a　clandestine　love
affair。　If　the　culmination　of　your　love　begins　with　disappointment；
dislike；　nay；　even　with　pain；　well；　come　and　tell　me　about　it。　Don't
hope　for　too　much　from　marriage　at　first；　it　will　perhaps　give　you
more　discomfort　than　joy。　The　happiness　of　your　life　requires　at　least
as　patient　cherishing　as　the　early　shoots　of　love。

〃To　conclude；　if　by　chance　you　should　lose　the　lover；　you　will　find　in
his　place　the　father　of　your　children。　In　this；　my　dear　child；　lies
the　whole　secret　of　social　life。　Sacrifice　everything　to　the　man　whose
name　you　bear；　the　man　whose　honor　and　reputation　cannot　suffer　in　the
least　degree　without　involving　you　in　frightful　consequences。　Such
sacrifice　is　thus　not　only　an　absolute　duty　for　women　of　our　rank；　it
is　also　their　wisest　policy。　This；　indeed；　is　the　distinctive　mark　of
great　moral　principles；　that　they　hold　good　and　are　expedient　from
whatever　aspect　they　are　viewed。　But　I　need　say　no　more　to　you　on　this
point。

〃I　fancy　you　are　of　a　jealous　disposition；　and；　my　dear；　if　you　knew
how　jealous　I　am！　But　you　must　not　be　stupid　over　it。　To　publish　your
jealousy　to　the　world　is　like　playing　at　politics　with　your　cards　upon
the　table；　and　those　who　let　their　own　game　be　seen　learn　nothing　of
their　opponents'。　Whatever　happens；　we　must　know　how　to　suffer　in
silence。〃

She　added　that　she　intended　having　some　plain　talk　about　me　with
Macumer　the　evening　before　the　wedding。

Raising　my　mother's　beautiful　arm；　I　kissed　her　hand　and　dropped　on　it
a　tear；　which　the　tone　of　real　feeling　in　her　voice　had　brought　to　my
eyes。　In　the　advice　she　had　given　me；　I　read　high　principle　worthy　of
herself　and　of　me；　true　wisdom；　and　a　tenderness　of　heart　unspoilt　by
the　narrow　code　of　society。　Above　all；　I　saw　that　she　understood　my
character。　These　few　simple　words　summed　up　the　lessons　which　life　and
experience　had　brought　her；　perhaps　at　a　heavy　price。　She　was　moved；
and　said；　as　she　looked　at　me：

〃Dear　little　girl；　you've　got　a　nasty　crossing　before　you。　And　most
women；　in　their　ignorance　or　their　disenchantment；　are　as　wise　as　the
Earl　of　Westmoreland！〃

We　both　laughed；　but　I　must　explain　the　joke。　The　evening　before；　a
Russian　princess　had　told　us　an　anecdote　of　this　gentleman。　He　had
suffered　frightfully　from　sea…sickness　in　crossing　the　Channel；　and
turned　tail　when　he　got　near　Italy；　because　he　had　heard　some　one
speak　of　〃crossing〃　the　Alps。　〃Thank　you；　I've　had　quite　enough
crossings　already；〃　he　said。

You　will　understand；　Renee；　that　your　gloomy　philosophy　and　my
mother's　lecture　were　calculated　to　revive　the　fears　which　used　to
disturb　us　at　Blois。　The　nearer　marriage　approached；　the　more　did　I
need　to　summon　all　my　strength；　my　resolution；　and　my　affection　to
face　this　terrible　passage　from　maidenhood　to　womanhood。　All　our
conversations　came　back　to　my　mind；　I　re…read　your　letters　and
discerned　in　them　a　vague　undertone　of　sadness。

This　anxiety　had　one　advantage　at　least；　it　helped　me　to　the
regulation　expression　for　a　bride　as　commonly　depicted。　The
consequence　was　that　on　the　day　of　signing　the　contract　everybody　said
I　looked　charming　and　quite　the　right　thing。　This　morning；　at　the
Mairie；　it　was　an　informal　business；　and　only　the　witnesses　were
present。

I　am　writing　this　tail　to　my　letter　while　they　are　putting　out　my
dress　for　dinner。　We　shall　be　married　at　midnight　at　the　Church　of
Sainte…Valere；　after　a　very　gay　evening。　I　confess　that　my　fears　give
me　a　martyr…like　and　modest　air　to　which　I　have　no　right；　but　which
will　be　admiredwhy；　I　cannot　conceive。　I　am　delighted　to　see　that
poor　Felipe　is　every　whit　as　timorous　as　I　am；　society　grates　on　him；
he　is　like　a　bat　in　a　glass　shop。

〃Thank　Heaven；　the　day　won't　last　for　ever！〃　he　whispered　to　me　in　all
innocence。

In　his　bashfulness　and　timidity　he　would　have　liked　to　have　no　one
there。

The　Sardinian　ambassador；　when　he　came　to　sign　the　contract；　took　me
aside　in　order　to　present　me　with　a　pearl　necklace；　linked　together　by
six　splendid　diamondsa　gift　from　my　sister…in…law；　the　Duchess　de
Soria。　Along　with　the　necklace　was　a　sapphire　bracelet；　on　the　under
side　of　which　were　engraved　the　words；　〃/Though　unknown；　beloved/。〃
Two　charming　letters　came　with　these　presents；　which；　however；　I　could
not　accept　without　consulting　Felipe。

〃For；〃　I　said；　〃I　should　not　like　to　see　you　wearing　ornaments　that
came　from　any　one　but　me。〃

He　kissed　my　hand；　quite　moved；　and　replied：

〃Wear　them　for　the　sake　of　the　inscription；　and　also　for　the　kind
feeling；　which　is　sincere。〃

Saturday　evening。

Here；　then；　my　poor　Renee；　are　the　last　words　of　your　girl　friend。
After　the　midnight　Mass；　we　set　off　for　an　estate　which　Felipe；　with
kind　thought　for　me；　has　bought　in　Nivernais；　on　the　way　to　Provence。
Already　my　name　is　Louise　de　Macumer；　but　I　leave　Paris　in　a　few　hours
as　Louise　de　Chaulieu。　However　I　am　called；　there　will　never　be　for
you　but　one　Louise。



XXVII

THE　SAME　TO　THE　SAME
October。

I　have　not　written　to　you；　dear；　since　our　marriage；　nearly　eight
months　ago。　And　not　a　line　from　you！　Madame；　you　are　inexcusable。

To　begin　with；　we　set　off　in　a　post…chaise　for　the　Castle　of
Chantepleurs；　the　property　which　Macumer　has　bought　in　Nivernais。　It
stands　on　the　banks　of　the　Loire；　sixty　leagues　from　Paris。　Our
servants；　with　the　exception　of　my　maid；　were　there　before　us；　and　we
arrived；　after　a　very　rapid　journey；　the　next　evening。　I　slept　all　the
way　from　Paris　to　beyond　Montargis。　My　lord　and　master　put　his　arm
round　me　and　pillowed　my　head　on　his　shoulder；　upon　an　arrangement　of
handkerchiefs。　This　was　the　one　liberty　he　took；　and　the　almost
motherly　tenderness　which　got　the　better　of　his　drowsiness；　touched　me
strangely。　I　fell　asleep　then　under　the　fire　of　his　eyes；　and　awoke　to
find　them　still　blazing；　the　passionate　gaze　remained　unchanged；　but
what　thoughts　had　come　and　gone　meanwhile！　Twice　he　had　kissed　me　on
the　forehead。

At　Briare　we　had　breakfast　in　the　carriage。　Then　followed　a　talk　like
our　old　talks　at　Blois；　while　the　same　Loire　we　used　to　admire　called
forth　our　praises；　and　at　half…past　seven　we　entered　the　noble　long
avenue　of　lime…trees；　acacias；　sycamores；　and　larches　which　leads　to
Chantepleurs。　At　eight　we　dined；　at　ten　we　were　in　our　bedroom；　a
charming　Gothic　room；　made　comfortable　with　every　modern　luxury。
Felipe；　who　is　thought　so　ugly；　seemed　to　me　quite　beautiful　in　his
graceful　kindness　and　the　exquisite　delicacy　of　his　affection。　Of
passion；　not　a　trace。　All　through　the　journey　he　might　have　been　an
old　friend　of　fifteen　years'　standing。　Later；　he　has　described　to　me；
with　all　the　vivid　touches　of　his　first　letter；　the　furious　storms
that　raged　within　and　were　not　allowed　to　ruffle　the　outer　surface。

〃So　far；　I　have　found　nothing　very　terrible　in　marriage；〃　I　said；　as　I
walked　to　the　window　and　looked　out　on　the　glorious　moon　which　lit　up
a　charming　park；　breathing　of　heavy　scents。

He　drew　near；　put　his　arm　again　round　me；　and　said：

〃Why　fear　it？　Have　I　ever　yet　proved　false　to　my　promise　in　gesture　or
look？　Why　should　I　be　false　in　the　future？〃

Yet　never　were　words　or　glances　more　full　of　mastery；　his　voice
thrilled　every　fibre　of　my　heart　and　roused　a　sleeping　force；　his　eyes
were　like　the　sun　in　power。

〃Oh！〃　I　exclaimed；　〃what　a　world　of　Moorish　perfidy　in　this　attitude
of　perpetual　prostration！〃

He　understood；　my　dear。

So；　my　fair　sweetheart；　if　I　have　let　months　slip　by　without　writing；
you　can　now　divine　the　cause。　I　have　to　recall　the　girl's　strange　past
in　order　to　explain　the　woman　to　myself。　Renee；　I　understand　you　now。
Not　to　her　dearest　friend；　not　to　her　mother；　not；　perhaps；　even　to
herself；　can　a　happy　bride　speak　of　her　happiness。　This　memory　ought
to　remain　absolutely　her　own；　an　added　rapturea　thing　beyond　words；
too　sacred　for　disclosure！

Is　it　possible　that　the　name　of　duty　has　been　given　to　the　delicious
frenzy　of　the　heart；　to　the　overwhelming　rush　of　passion？　And　for　what
purpose？　What　malevolent　power　conceived　the　idea　of　crushing　a
woman's　sensitive　delicacy　and　all　the　thousand　wiles　of　her　modesty
under　the　fetters　of　constraint？　What　sense　of　duty　can　force　from　her
these　flowers　of　the　heart；　the　roses　of　life；　the　passionate　poetry
of　her　nature；　apart　from　love？　To　claim　feeling　as　a　right！　Why；　it
blooms　of　itself　under　the　sun　of　love；　and　shrivels　to　death　under
the　cold　blast　of　distaste　and　aversion！　Let　love　guard　his　own
rights！

Oh！　my　noble　Renee！　I　understand　you　now。　I　bow　to　your　greatness；
amazed　at　the　depth　and　clearness　of　your　insight。　Yes；　the　woman　who
has　not　used　the　marriage　ceremony；　as　I　have　done；　merely　to　legalize
and　publish　the　secret　election　of　her　heart；　has　nothing　left　but　to
fly　to　motherhood。　When　earth　fails；　the　soul　makes　for　heaven！

One　hard　truth　emerges　from　all　that　you　have　said。　Only　men　who　are
really　great　know　how　to　love；　and　now　I　understand　the　reason　of
this。　Man　obeys　two　forcesone　sensual；　one　spiritual。　Weak　or
inferior　men　mistake　the　first　for　the　last；　whilst　great　souls　know
how　to　clothe　the　merely　natural　instinct　in　all　the　graces　of　the
spirit。　The　very　strength　of　this　spiritual　passion　imposes　severe
self…restraint　and　inspires　them　with　reverence　for　women。　Clearly；
feeling　is　sensitive　in　proportion　to　the　calibre　of　the　mental　powers
generally；　and　this　is　why　the　man　of　genius　alone　has　something　of　a
woman's　delicacy。　He　understands　and　divines　woman；　and　the　wings　of
passion　on　which　he　raises　her　are　rest