letters of two brides-第13章

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mind　and　countenance　harmonize。　〃The　animal　that　we　call　a　husband；〃
to　quote　your　words；　disappeared；　and　one　balmy　evening　I　discovered
in　his　stead　a　lover；　whose　words　thrilled　me　and　on　whose　arm　I　leant
with　pleasure　beyond　words。　In　short；　to　be　open　with　you；　as　I　would
be　with　God；　before　whom　concealment　is　impossible；　the　perfect
loyalty　with　which　he　had　kept　his　oath　may　have　piqued　me；　and　I　felt
a　fluttering　of　curiosity　in　my　heart。　Bitterly　ashamed；　I　struggled
with　myself。　Alas！　when　pride　is　the　only　motive　for　resistance；
excuses　for　capitulation　are　soon　found。

We　celebrated　our　union　in　secret；　and　secret　it　must　remain　between
us。　When　you　are　married　you　will　approve　this　reserve。　Enough　that
nothing　was　lacking　either　of　satisfaction　for　the　most　fastidious
sentiment；　or　of　that　unexpectedness　which　brings；　in　a　sense；　its　own
sanction。　Every　witchery　of　imagination；　of　passion；　of　reluctance
overcome；　of　the　ideal　passing　into　reality；　played　its　part。

Yet；　in　spite　of　all　this　enchantment；　I　once　more　stood　out　for　my
complete　independence。　I　can't　tell　you　all　my　reasons　for　this。　To
you　alone　shall　I　confide　even　as　much　as　this。　I　believe　that　women；
whether　passionately　loved　or　not；　lose　much　in　their　relation　with
their　husbands　by　not　concealing　their　feelings　about　marriage　and　the
way　they　look　at　it。

My　one　joy；　and　it　is　supreme；　springs　from　the　certainty　of　having
brought　new　life　to　my　husband　before　I　have　borne　him　any　children。
Louis　has　regained　his　youth；　strength；　and　spirits。　He　is　not　the
same　man。　With　magic　touch　I　have　effaced　the　very　memory　of　his
sufferings。　It　is　a　complete　metamorphosis。　Louis　is　really　very
attractive　now。　Feeling　sure　of　my　affection；　he　throws　off　his
reserve　and　displays　unsuspected　gifts。

To　be　the　unceasing　spring　of　happiness　for　a　man　who　knows　it　and
adds　gratitude　to　love；　ah！　dear　one；　this　is　a　conviction　which
fortifies　the　soul；　even　more　than　the　most　passionate　love　can　do。
The　force　thus　developedat　once　impetuous　and　enduring；　simple　and
diversifiedbrings　forth　ultimately　the　family；　that　noble　product　of
womanhood；　which　I　realize　now　in　all　its　animating　beauty。

The　old　father　has　ceased　to　be　a　miser。　He　gives　blindly　whatever　I
wish　for。　The　servants　are　content；　it　seems　as　though　the　bliss　of
Louis　had　let　a　flood　of　sunshine　into　the　household；　where　love　has
made　me　queen。　Even　the　old　man　would　not　be　a　blot　upon　my　pretty
home；　and　has　brought　himself　into　line　with　all　my　improvements；　to
please　me　he　has　adopted　the　dress；　and　with　the　dress；　the　manners　of
the　day。

We　have　English　horses；　a　coupe；　a　barouche；　and　a　tilbury。　The　livery
of　our　servants　is　simple　but　in　good　taste。　Of　course　we　are　looked
on　as　spendthrifts。　I　apply　all　my　intellect　（I　am　speaking　quite
seriously）　to　managing　my　household　with　economy；　and　obtaining　for　it
the　maximum　of　pleasure　with　the　minimum　of　cost。

I　have　already　convinced　Louis　of　the　necessity　of　getting　roads　made；
in　order　that　he　may　earn　the　reputation　of　a　man　interested　in　the
welfare　of　his　district。　I　insist　too　on　his　studying　a　great　deal。
Before　long　I　hope　to　see　him　a　member　of　the　Council　General　of　the
Department；　through　the　influence　of　my　family　and　his　mother's。　I
have　told　him　plainly　that　I　am　ambitious；　and　that　I　was　very　well
pleased　his　father　should　continue　to　look　after　the　estate　and
practise　economies；　because　I　wished　him　to　devote　himself　exclusively
to　politics。　If　we　had　children；　I　should　like　to　see　them　all
prosperous　and　with　good　State　appointments。　Under　penalty；　therefore；
of　forfeiting　my　esteem　and　affection；　he　must　get　himself　chosen
deputy　for　the　department　at　the　coming　elections；　my　family　would
support　his　candidature；　and　we　should　then　have　the　delight　of
spending　all　our　winters　in　Paris。　Ah！　my　love；　by　the　ardor　with
which　he　embraced　my　plans；　I　can　gauge　the　depth　of　his　affection。

To　conclude　here　is　a　letter　he　wrote　me　yesterday　from　Marseilles；
where　he　had　gone　to　spend　a　few　hours：

　　〃MY　SWEET　RENEE；When　you　gave　me　permission　to　love　you；　I　began
　　to　believe　in　happiness；　now；　I　see　it　unfolding　endlessly　before
　　me。　The　past　is　merely　a　dim　memory；　a　shadowy　background；　without
　　which　my　present　bliss　would　show　less　radiant。　When　I　am　with
　　you；　love　so　transports　me　that　I　am　powerless　to　express　the
　　depth　of　my　affection；　I　can　but　worship　and　admire。　Only　at　a
　　distance　does　the　power　of　speech　return。　You　are　supremely
　　beautiful；　Renee；　and　your　beauty　is　of　the　statuesque　and　regal
　　type；　on　which　time　leaves　but　little　impression。　No　doubt　the
　　love　of　husband　and　wife　depends　less　on　outward　beauty　than　on
　　graces　of　character；　which　are　yours　also　in　perfection；　still；
　　let　me　say　that　the　certainty　of　having　your　unchanging　beauty；　on
　　which　to　feast　my　eyes；　gives　me　a　joy　that　grows　with　every
　　glance。　There　is　a　grace　and　dignity　in　the　lines　of　your　face；
　　expressive　of　the　noble　soul　within；　and　breathing　of　purity
　　beneath　the　vivid　coloring。　The　brilliance　of　your　dark　eyes；　the
　　bold　sweep　of　your　forehead；　declare　a　spirit　of　no　common
　　elevation；　sound　and　trustworthy　in　every　relation；　and　well
　　braced　to　meet　the　storms　of　life；　should　such　arise。　The　keynote
　　of　your　character　is　its　freedom　from　all　pettiness。　You　do　not
　　need　to　be　told　all　this；　but　I　write　it　because　I　would　have　you
　　know　that　I　appreciate　the　treasure　I　possess。　Your　favors　to　me；
　　however　slight；　will　always　make　my　happiness　in　the　far…distant
　　future　as　now；　for　I　am　sensible　how　much　dignity　there　is　in　our
　　promise　to　respect　each　other's　liberty。　Our　own　impulse　shall
　　with　us　alone　dictate　the　expression　of　feeling。　We　shall　be　free
　　even　in　our　fetters。　I　shall　have　the　more　pride　in　wooing　you
　　again　now　that　I　know　the　reward　you　place　on　victory。　You　cannot
　　speak；　breathe；　act；　or　think；　without　adding　to　the　admiration　I
　　feel　for　your　charm　both　of　body　and　mind。　There　is　in　you　a　rare
　　combination　of　the　ideal；　the　practical；　and　the　bewitching　which
　　satisfies　alike　judgment；　a　husband's　pride；　desire；　and　hope；　and
　　which　extends　the　boundaries　of　love　beyond　those　of　life　itself。
　　Oh！　my　loved　one；　may　the　genius　of　love　remain　faithful　to　me；
　　and　the　future　be　full　of　those　delights　by　means　of　which　you
　　have　glorified　all　that　surrounds　me！　I　long　for　the　day　which
　　shall　make　you　a　mother；　that　I　may　see　you　content　with　the
　　fulness　of　your　life；　may　hear　you；　in　the　sweet　voice　I　love　and
　　with　the　thoughts；　bless　the　love　which　has　refreshed　my　soul　and
　　given　new　vigor　to　my　powers；　the　love　which　is　my　pride；　and
　　whence　I　have　drawn；　as　from　a　magic　fountain；　fresh　life。　Yes；　I
　　shall　be　all　that　you　would　have　me。　I　shall　take　a　leading　part
　　in　the　public　life　of　the　district；　and　on　you　shall　fall　the　rays
　　of　a　glory　which　will　owe　its　existence　to　the　desire　of　pleasing
　　you。〃

So　much　for　my　pupil；　dear！　Do　you　suppose　he　could　have　written　like
this　before？　A　year　hence　his　style　will　have　still　further　improved。
Louis　is　now　in　his　first　transport；　what　I　look　forward　to　is　the
uniform　and　continuous　sensation　of　content　which　ought　to　be　the
fruit　of　a　happy　marriage；　when　a　man　and　woman；　in　perfect　trust　and
mutual　knowledge；　have　solved　the　problem　of　giving　variety　to　the
infinite。　This　is　the　task　set　before　every　true　wife；　the　answer
begins　to　dawn　on　me；　and　I　shall　not　rest　till　I　have　made　it　mine。

You　see　that　he　fancies　himselfvanity　of　men！the　chosen　of　my
heart；　just　as　though　there　were　no　legal　bonds。　Nevertheless；　I　have
not　yet　got　beyond　that　external　attraction　which　gives　us　strength　to
put　up　with　a　good　deal。　Yet　Louis　is　lovable；　his　temper　is
wonderfully　even；　and　he　performs；　as　a　matter　of　course；　acts　on
which　most　men　would　plume　themselves。　In　short；　if　I　do　not　love　him；
I　shall　find　no　difficulty　in　being　good　to　him。

So　here　are　my　black　hair　and　my　black　eyeswhose　lashes　act；
according　to　you；　like　Venetian　blindsmy　commanding　air；　and　my
whole　person；　raised　to　the　rank　of　sovereign　power！　Ten　years　hence；
dear；　why　should　we　not　both　be　laughing　and　gay　in　your　Paris；　whence
I　shall　carry　you　off　now　and　again　to　my　beautiful　oasis　in　Provence？

Oh！　Louise；　don't　spoil　the　splendid　future　which　awaits　us　both！
Don't　do　the　mad　things　with　which　you　threaten　me。　My　husband　is　a
young　man；　prematurely　old；　why　don't　you　marry　some　young…hearted
graybeard　in　the　Chamber　of　Peers？　There　lies　your　vocation。



XIV

THE　DUC　DE　SORIA　TO　THE　BARON　DE　MACUMER
MADRID。

MY　DEAR　BROTHER；You　did　not　make　me　Duc　de　Soria　in　order　that　my
actions　should　belie　the　name。　How　could　I　tolerate　my　happiness　if　I
knew　you　to　be　a　wanderer；　deprived　of　the　comforts　which　wealth
everywhere　commands？　Neither　Marie　nor　I　will　consent　to　marry　till　we
hear　that　you　have　accepted　the　money　which　Urraca　will　hand　over　to
you。　These　two　millions　are　the　fruit　of　your　own　savings　and　Marie's。

We　have　both　prayed；　kneeling　before　the　same　altarand　with　what
earnestness；　God　knows！for　your　happiness。　My　dear　brother；　it
cannot　be　that　these　prayers　will　remain　unanswered。　Heaven　will　send
you　the　love　which　you　seek；　to　be　the　consolation　of　your　exile。
Marie　read　your　letter　with　tears；　and　is　full　of　admiration　for　you。
As　for　me；　I　consent；　not　for　my　own　sake；　but　for　that　of　the　family。
The　King　justified　your　expectations。　Oh！　that　I　might　avenge　you　by
letting　him　see　himself；　dwarfed　before　the　scorn　with　which　you　flung
him　his　toy；　as　you　might　toss　a　tiger　its　food。

The　only　thing　I　have　taken　for　myself；　dear　brother；　is　my　happiness。
I　have　taken　Marie。　For　this　I　shall　always　be　beholden　to　you；　as　the
creature　to　the　Creator。　There　will　be　in　my　life　and　in　Marie's　one
day　not　less　glorious　than　our　wedding　dayit　will　be　the　day　when　we
hear　that　your　heart　has　found　its　mate；　that　a　woman　loves　you　as　you
ought　to　be；　and　would　be；　loved。　Do　not　forget　that　if　you　live　for
us；　we　also　live　for　you。

You　can　write　to　us　with　perfect　confidence　under　cover　to　the　Nuncio；
sending　your　letters　/via/　Rome。　The　French　ambassador　at　Rome　will；
no　doubt；　undertake　to　forward　them　to　Monsignore　Bemboni；　at　the
State　Secretary's　office；　whom　our　legate　will　have　advised。　No　other
way　would　be　safe。　Farewell；　dear　exile；　dear　despoiled　one。　Be　proud
at　least　of　the　happiness　which　you　have　brought　to　us；　if　you　cannot
be　happy　in　it。　God　will　doubtless　hear　our　prayers；　which　are　full　of
your　name。



XV

LOUISE　DE　CHAULIEU　TO　MME。　DE　L'ESTORADE
March。

Ah！　my　love；　marriage　is　making　a　philosopher　of　you！　Your　darling
face　must；　indeed；　have　been　jaundiced　when　you　wrote　me　those
terrible　views　of　human　life　and　the　duty　of　women。　Do　you　fancy　you
will　convert　me　to　matrimony　by　your　programme　of　subterranean　labors？

Alas！　is　this　then　the　outcome　for　you　of　our　too…instructed　dreams！
We　left　Blois　all　innocent；　armed　with　the　pointed　shafts　of
meditation；　and；　lo！　the　weapons　of　that　purely　ideal　experience　have
turned　against　your　own　brea