bureaucracy-第21章

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faubourg　Saint…Germain。　There's　no　one　here　but　Minard　who　doesn't

wear　woollen；　he's　afraid　of　being　taken　for　a　sheep。　That's　the

reason　why　he　didn't　put　on　mourning　for　Louis　XVIII。〃



＇During　this　conversation　Baudoyer　is　sitting　by　the　fire　in　Godard's

room；　and　the　two　are　conversing　in　a　low　voice。＇



Baudoyer。　〃Yes；　the　worthy　man　is　dying。　The　two　ministers　are　both

with　him。　My　father…in…law　has　been　notified　of　the　event。　If　you　want

to　do　me　a　signal　service　you　will　take　a　cab　and　go　and　let　Madame

Baudoyer　know　what　is　happening；　for　Monsieur　Saillard　can't　leave　his

desk；　nor　I　my　office。　Put　yourself　at　my　wife's　orders；　do　whatever

she　wishes。　She　has；　I　believe；　some　ideas　of　her　own；　and　wants　to

take　certain　steps　simultaneously。〃　＇The　two　functionaries　go　out

together。＇



Godard。　〃Monsieur　Bixiou；　I　am　obliged　to　leave　the　office　for　the

rest　of　the　day。　You　will　take　my　place。〃



Baudoyer　＇to　Bixiou；　benignly＇。　〃Consult　me；　if　there　is　any

necessity。〃



Bixiou。　〃This　time；　La　Billardiere　is　really　dead。〃



Dutocq　＇in　Bixiou's　ear＇。　〃Come　outside　a　minute。〃　＇The　two　go　into

the　corridor　and　gaze　at　each　other　like　birds　of　ill…omen。＇



Dutocq　＇whispering＇。　〃Listen。　Now　is　the　time　for　us　to　understand

each　other　and　push　our　way。　What　would　you　say　to　your　being　made

head　of　the　bureau；　and　I　under　you？〃



Bixiou　＇shrugging　his　shoulders＇。　〃Come；　come；　don't　talk　nonsense！〃



Dutocq。　〃If　Baudoyer　gets　La　Billardiere's　place　Rabourdin　won't　stay

on　where　he　is。　Between　ourselves；　Baudoyer　is　so　incapable　that　if　du

Bruel　and　you　don't　help　him　he　will　certainly　be　dismissed　in　a

couple　of　months。　If　I　know　arithmetic　that　will　give　three　empty

places　for　us　to　fill〃



Bixiou。　〃Three　places　right　under　our　noses；　which　will　certainly　be

given　to　some　bloated　favorite；　some　spy；　some　pious　fraud；to

Colleville　perhaps；　whose　wife　has　ended　where　all　pretty　women　end

in　piety。〃



Dutocq。　〃No；　to　YOU；　my　dear　fellow；　if　you　will　only；　for　once　in

your　life；　use　your　wits　logically。〃　＇He　stopped　as　if　to　study　the

effect　of　his　adverb　in　Bixiou's　face。＇　〃Come；　let　us　play　fair。〃



Bixiou　＇stolidly＇。　〃Let　me　see　your　game。〃



Dutocq。　〃I　don't　wish　to　be　anything　more　than　under…head…clerk。　I

know　myself　perfectly　well；　and　I　know　I　haven't　the　ability；　like

you；　to　be　head　of　a　bureau。　Du　Bruel　can　be　director；　and　you　the

head　of　this　bureau；　he　will　leave　you　his　place　as　soon　as　he　has

made　his　pile；　and　as　for　me；　I　shall　swim　with　the　tide　comfortably；

under　your　protection；　till　I　can　retire　on　a　pension。〃



Bixiou。　〃Sly　dog！　but　how　to　you　expect　to　carry　out　a　plan　which

means　forcing　the　minister's　hand　and　ejecting　a　man　of　talent？

Between　ourselves；　Rabourdin　is　the　only　man　capable　of　taking　charge

of　the　division；　and　I　might　say　of　the　ministry。　Do　you　know　that

they　talk　of　putting　in　over　his　head　that　solid　lump　of　foolishness；

that　cube　of　idiocy；　Baudoyer？〃



Dutocq　＇consequentially＇。　〃My　dear　fellow；　I　am　in　a　position　to　rouse

the　whole　division　against　Rabourdin。　You　know　how　devoted　Fleury　is

to　him？　Well；　I　can　make　Fleury　despise　him。〃



Bixiou。　〃Despised　by　Fleury！〃



Dutocq。　〃Not　a　soul　will　stand　by　Rabourdin；　the　clerks　will　go　in　a

body　and　complain　of　him　to　the　minister；not　only　in　our　division；

but　in　all　the　divisions〃



Bixiou。　〃Forward；　march！　infantry；　cavalry；　artillery；　and　marines　of

the　guard！　You　rave；　my　good　fellow！　And　I；　what　part　am　I　to　take　in

the　business？〃



Dutocq。　〃You　are　to　make　a　cutting　caricature；sharp　enough　to　kill　a

man。〃



Bixiou。　〃How　much　will　you　pay　for　it？〃



Dutocq。　〃A　hundred　francs。〃



Bixiou　＇to　himself＇。　〃Then　there　is　something　in　it。〃



Dutocq　＇continuing＇。　〃You　must　represent　Rabourdin　dressed　as　a

butcher　（make　it　a　good　likeness）；　find　analogies　between　a　kitchen

and　a　bureau；　put　a　skewer　in　his　hand；　draw　portraits　of　the

principal　clerks　and　stick　their　heads　on　fowls；　put　them　in　a

monstrous　coop　labelled　'Civil　Service　executions'；　make　him　cutting

the　throat　of　one；　and　supposed　to　take　the　others　in　turn。　You　can

have　geese　and　ducks　with　heads　like　ours；you　understand！　Baudoyer；

for　instance；　he'll　make　an　excellent　turkey…buzzard。〃



Bixiou。　〃Ris　d'aboyeur　d'oie！〃　＇He　has　watched　Dutocq　carefully　for

some　time。＇　〃Did　you　think　of　that　yourself？〃



Dutocq。　〃Yes；　I　myself。〃



Bixiou　＇to　himself＇。　〃Do　evil　feelings　bring　men　to　the　same　result　as

talents？〃　＇Aloud＇　〃Well；　I'll　do　it〃　＇Dutocq　makes　a　motion　of

delight＇　〃when〃　＇full　stop＇　〃I　know　where　I　am　and　what　I　can　rely

on。　If　you　don't　succeed　I　shall　lose　my　place；　and　I　must　make　a

living。　You　are　a　curious　kind　of　innocent　still；　my　dear　colleague。〃



Dutocq。　〃Well；　you　needn't　make　the　lithograph　till　success　is

proved。〃



Bixiou。　〃Why　don't　you　come　out　and　tell　me　the　whole　truth？〃



Dutocq。　〃I　must　first　see　how　the　land　lays　in　the　bureau；　we　will

talk　about　it　later〃　＇goes　off＇。



Bixiou　＇alone　in　the　corridor＇。　〃That　fish；　for　he's　more　a　fish　than

a　bird；　that　Dutocq　has　a　good　idea　in　his　headI'm　sure　I　don't　know

where　he　stole　it。　If　Baudoyer　should　succeed　La　Billardiere　it　would

be　fun；　more　than　funprofit！〃　＇Returns　to　the　office。＇　〃Gentlemen；　I

announce　glorious　changes；　papa　La　Billardiere　is　dead；　really　dead；

no　nonsense；　word　of　honor！　Godard　is　off　on　business　for　our

excellent　chief　Baudoyer；　successor　presumptive　to　the　deceased。〃

＇Minard；　Desroys；　and　Colleville　raise　their　heads　in　amazement；　they

all　lay　down　their　pens；　and　Colleville　blows　his　nose。＇　〃Every　one　of

us　is　to　be　promoted！　Colleville　will　be　under…head…clerk　at　the　very

least。　Minard　may　have　my　place　as　chief　clerkwhy　not？　he　is　quite

as　dull　as　I　am。　Hey；　Minard；　if　you　should　get　twenty…five　hundred

francs　a…year　your　little　wife　would　be　uncommonly　pleased；　and　you

could　buy　yourself　a　pair　of　boots　now　and　then。〃



Colleville。　〃But　you　don't　get　twenty…five　hundred　francs。〃



Bixiou。　〃Monsieur　Dutocq　gets　that　in　Rabourdin's　office；　why

shouldn't　I　get　it　this　year？　Monsieur　Baudoyer　gets　it。〃



Colleville。　〃Only　through　the　influence　of　Monsieur　Saillard。　No　other

chief　clerk　gets　that　in　any　of　the　divisions。〃



Paulmier。　〃Bah！　Hasn't　Monsieur　Cochin　three　thousand？　He　succeeded

Monsieur　Vavasseur；　who　served　ten　years　under　the　Empire　at　four

thousand。　His　salary　was　dropped　to　three　when　the　King　first

returned；　then　to　two　thousand　five　hundred　before　Vavasseur　died。　But

Monsieur　Cochin；　who　succeeded　him；　had　influence　enough　to　get　the

salary　put　back　to　three　thousand。〃



Colleville。　〃Monsieur　Cochin　signs　E。　A。　L。　Cochin　（he　is　named　Emile…

Adolphe…Lucian）；　which；　when　anagrammed；　gives　Cochineal。　Now　observe；

he's　a　partner　in　a　druggist's　business　in　the　rue　des　Lombards；　the

Maison　Matifat；　which　made　its　fortune　by　that　identical　colonial

product。〃



Baudoyer　＇entering＇。　〃Monsieur　Chazelle；　I　see；　is　not　here；　you　will

be　good　enough　to　say　I　asked　for　him；　gentlemen。〃



Bixiou　＇who　had　hastily　stuck　a　hat　on　Chazelle's　chair　when　he　heard

Baudoyer's　step＇。　〃Excuse　me；　Monsieur；　but　Chazelle　has　gone　to　the

Rabourdins'　to　make　an　inquiry。〃



Chazelle　＇entering　with　his　hat　on　his　head；　and　not　seeing　Baudoyer＇。

〃La　Billardiere　is　done　for；　gentlemen！　Rabourdin　is　head　of　the

division　and　Master　of　petitions；　he　hasn't　stolen　HIS　promotion；

that's　very　certain。〃



Baudoyer　＇to　Chazelle＇。　〃You　found　that　appointment　in　your　second

hat；　I　presume〃　＇points　to　the　hat　on　the　chair＇。　〃This　is　the　third

time　within　a　month　that　you　have　come　after　nine　o'clock。　If　you

continue　the　practice　you　will　get　onelsewhere。〃　＇To　Bixiou；　who　is

reading　the　newspaper。＇　〃My　dear　Monsieur　Bixiou；　do　pray　leave　the

newspapers　to　these　gentlemen　who　are　going　to　breakfast；　and　come

into　my　office　for　your　orders　for　the　day。　I　don't　know　what　Monsieur

Rabourdin　wants　with　Gabriel；　he　keeps　him　to　do　his　private　errands；

I　believe。　I've　rung　three　times　and　can't　get　him。〃　＇Baudoyer　and

Bixiou　retire　into　the　private　office。＇



Chazelle。　〃Damned　unlucky！〃



Paulmier　＇delighted　to　annoy　Chazelle＇。　〃Why　didn't　you　look　about

when　you　came　into　the　room？　You　might　have　seen　the　elephant；　and　the

hat　too；　they　are　big　enough　to　be　visible。〃



Chazelle　＇dismally＇。　〃Disgusting　business！　I　don't　see　why　we　should

be　treated　like　slaves　because　the　government　gives　us　four　francs　and

sixty…five　centimes　a　day。〃



Fleury　＇entering＇。　〃Down　with　Baudoyer！　hurrah　for　Rabourdin！that's

the　cry　in　the　division。〃



Chazelle　＇getting　more　and　more　angry＇。　〃Baudoyer　can　turn　off　me　if

he　likes；　I　sha'n't　care。　In　Paris　there　are　a　thousand　ways　of

earning　five　francs　a　day；　why；　I　could　earn　that　at　the　Palais　de

Justice；　copying　briefs　for　the　lawyers。〃



Paulmier　＇still　prodding　him＇。　〃It　is　very　easy　to　say　that；　but　a

government　place　is　a　government　place；　and　that　plucky　Colleville；

who　works　like　a　galley…slave　outside　of　this　office；　and　who　could

earn；　if　he　lost　his　appointment；　more　than　his　salary；　prefers　to

keep　his　place。　Who　the　devil　is　fool　enough　to　give　up　his

expectations？〃



Chazelle　＇continuing　his　philippic＇。　〃You　may　not　be；　but　I　am！　We

have　no　chances　at　all。　Time　was　when　nothing　was　more　encouraging

than　a　civil…service　career。　So　many　men　were　in　the　army　that　there

were　not　enough　for　the　government　work；　the　maimed　and　the　halt　and

the　sick　ones；　like　Paulmier；　and　the　near…sighted　ones；　all　had　their

chance　of　a　rapid　promotion。　But　now；　ever　since　the　Chamber　invented

what　they　called　special　training；　and　the　rules　and　regulations　for

civil…service　examiners；　we　are　worse　off　than　common　soldiers。　The

poorest　places　are　at　the　mercy　of　a　thousand　mischances　because　we

are　now　ruled　by　a　thousand　sovereigns。〃



Bixiou　＇returning＇。　〃Are　you　crazy；　Chazelle？　Where　do　you　find　a

thousand　sovereigns？not　in　your　pocket；　are　they？〃



Chazelle。　〃Count　them　up。　There　are　four　hundred　over　there　at　the　end

of　the　pont　de　la　Concorde　（so　called　because　it　leads　to　the　scene　of

perpetual　discord　between　the　Right　and　Left　of　the　Chamber）；　three

hundred　more　at　the　end　of　the　rue　de　Tournon。　The　court；　which　ought

to　count　for　the　other　three　hundred；　has　seven　hundred　parts　less

power　to　get　a　man　appointed　to　a　place　under　government　than　the

Emperor　Napoleon　had。〃



Fleury。　〃All　of　which　signifies　that　in　a　country　where　there　are

three　powers　you　may　bet　a　thousand　to　one　that　a　government　clerk　who

has　no　influence　but　his　own　merits　to　advance　him　will　remain　in

obscurity。〃



Bixiou　＇looking　alternately　at　Chazelle　and　Fleury＇。　〃My　sons；　you

have　yet　to　learn　that　in　these　days　the　worst　state　of　life　is　the

state　of　belonging　to　the　State。〃



Fleury。　〃Because　it　has　a　c