bureaucracy-第20章

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〃Ah！　well；　he　was　punctual。　Send　Antoine　to　me。〃



Too　noble　to　distress　Sebastien　uselessly　by　blaming　him　for　a

misfortune　now　beyond　remedy；　Rabourdin　said　no　more。　Antoine　came。

Rabourdin　asked　if　any　clerk　had　remained　at　the　office　after　four

o'clock　the　previous　evening。　The　man　replied　that　Monsieur　Dutocq　had

worked　there　later　than　Monsieur　de　la　Roche；　who　was　usually　the　last

to　leave。　Rabourdin　dismissed　him　with　a　nod；　and　resumed　the　thread

of　his　reflections。



〃Twice　I　have　prevented　his　dismissal；〃　he　said　to　himself；　〃and　this

is　my　reward。〃



This　morning　was　to　Rabourdin　like　the　solemn　hour　in　which　great

commanders　decide　upon　a　battle　and　weigh　all　chances。　Knowing　the

spirit　of　official　life　better　than　any　one；　he　well　knew　that　it

would　never　pardon；　any　more　than　a　school　or　the　galleys　or　the　army

pardon；　what　looked　like　espionage　or　tale…bearing。　A　man　capable　of

informing　against　his　comrades　is　disgraced；　dishonored；　despised；　the

ministers　in　such　a　case　would　disavow　their　own　agents。　Nothing　was

left　to　an　official　so　placed　but　to　send　in　his　resignation　and　leave

Paris；　his　honor　is　permanently　stained；　explanations　are　of　no　avail；

no　one　will　either　ask　for　them　or　listen　to　them。　A　minister　may　well

do　the　same　thing　and　be　thought　a　great　man；　able　to　choose　the　right

instruments；　but　a　mere　subordinate　will　be　judged　as　a　spy；　no　matter

what　may　be　his　motives。　While　justly　measuring　the　folly　of　such

judgment；　Rabourdin　knew　that　it　was　all…powerful；　and　he　knew；　too；

that　he　was　crushed。　More　surprised　than　overwhelmed；　he　now　sought

for　the　best　course　to　follow　under　the　circumstances；　and　with　such

thoughts　in　his　mind　he　was　necessarily　aloof　from　the　excitement

caused　in　the　division　by　the　death　of　Monsieur　de　la　Billardiere；　in

fact　he　did　not　hear　of　it　until　young　La　Briere；　who　was　able　to

appreciate　his　sterling　value；　came　to　tell　him。　About　ten　o'clock；　in

the　bureau　Baudoyer；　Bixiou　was　relating　the　last　moments　of　the　life

of　the　director　to　Minard；　Desroys；　Monsieur　Godard；　whom　he　had

called　from　his　private　office；　and　Dutocq；　who　had　rushed　in　with

private　motives　of　his　own。　Colleville　and　Chazelle　were　absent。



Bixiou　＇standing　with　his　back　to　the　stove　and　holding　up　the　sole　of

each　boot　alternately　to　dry　at　the　open　door＇。　〃This　morning；　at　half…

past　seven；　I　went　to　inquire　after　our　most　worthy　and　respectable

director；　knight　of　the　order　of　Christ；　et　caetera；　et　caetera。　Yes；

gentlemen；　last　night　he　was　a　being　with　twenty　et　caeteras；　to…day

he　is　nothing；　not　even　a　government　clerk。　I　asked　all　particulars　of

his　nurse。　She　told　me　that　this　morning　at　five　o'clock　he　became

uneasy　about　the　royal　family。　He　asked　for　the　names　of　all　the

clerks　who　had　called　to　inquire　after　him；　and　then　he　said：　'Fill　my

snuff…box；　give　me　the　newspaper；　bring　my　spectacles；　and　change　my

ribbon　of　the　Legion　of　honor；it　is　very　dirty。'　I　suppose　you　know

he　always　wore　his　orders　in　bed。　He　was　fully　conscious；　retained　his

senses　and　all　his　usual　ideas。　But；　presto！　ten　minutes　later　the

water　rose；　rose；　rose　and　flooded　his　chest；　he　knew　he　was　dying　for

he　felt　the　cysts　break。　At　that　fatal　moment　he　gave　evident　proof　of

his　powerful　mind　and　vast　intellect。　Ah；　we　never　rightly　appreciated

him！　We　used　to　laugh　at　him　and　call　him　a　boobydidn't　you；

Monsieur　Godard？〃



Godard。　〃I？　I　always　rated　Monsieur　de　la　Billardiere's　talents　higher

than　the　rest　of　you。〃



Bixiou。　〃You　and　he　could　understand　each　other！〃



Godard。　〃He　wasn't　a　bad　man；　he　never　harmed　any　one。〃



Bixiou。　〃To　do　harm　you　must　do　something；　and　he　never　did　anything。

If　it　wasn't　you　who　said　he　was　a　dolt；　it　must　have　been　Minard。〃



Minard　＇shrugging　his　shoulders＇。　〃I！〃



Bixiou。　〃Well；　then　it　was　you；　Dutocq！〃　＇Dutocq　made　a　vehement

gesture　of　denial。＇　〃Oh！　very　good；　then　it　was　nobody。　Every　one　in

this　office　knew　his　intellect　was　herculean。　Well；　you　were　right。　He

ended；　as　I　have　said；　like　the　great　man　that　he　was。〃



Desroys　＇impatiently＇。　〃Pray　what　did　he　do　that　was　so　great？　he　had

the　weakness　to　confess　himself。〃



Bixiou。　〃Yes；　monsieur；　he　received　the　holy　sacraments。　But　do　you

know　what　he　did　in　order　to　receive　them？　He　put　on　his　uniform　as

gentleman…in…ordinary　of　the　Bedchamber；　with　all　his　orders；　and　had

himself　powdered；　they　tied　his　queue　（that　poor　queue！）　with　a　fresh

ribbon。　Now　I　say　that　none　but　a　man　of　remarkable　character　would

have　his　queue　tied　with　a　fresh　ribbon　just　as　he　was　dying。　There

are　eight　of　us　here；　and　I　don't　believe　one　among　us　is　capable　of

such　an　act。　But　that's　not　all；　he　said；for　you　know　all　celebrated

men　make　a　dying　speech；　he　said；stop　now；　what　did　he　say？　Ah！　he

said；　'I　must　attire　myself　to　meet　the　King　of　Heaven；I；　who　have

so　often　dressed　in　my　best　for　audience　with　the　kings　of　earth。'

That's　how　Monsieur　de　la　Billardiere　departed　this　life。　He　took　upon

himself　to　justify　the　saying　of　Pythagoras；　'No　man　is　known　until　he

dies。'〃



Colleville　＇rushing　in＇。　〃Gentlemen；　great　news！〃



All。　〃We　know　it。〃



Colleville。　〃I　defy　you　to　know　it！　I　have　been　hunting　for　it　ever

since　the　accession　of　His　Majesty　to　the　thrones　of　France　and　of

Navarre。　Last　night　I　succeeded！　but　with　what　labor！　Madame

Colleville　asked　me　what　was　the　matter。〃



Dutocq。　〃Do　you　think　we　have　time　to　bother　ourselves　with　your

intolerable　anagrams　when　the　worthy　Monsieur　de　la　Billardiere　has

just　expired？〃



Colleville。　〃That's　Bixiou's　nonsense！　I　have　just　come　from　Monsieur

de　la　Billardiere's；　he　is　still　living；　though　they　expect　him　to　die

soon。〃　＇Godard；　indignant　at　the　hoax；　goes　off　grumbling。＇

〃Gentlemen！　you　would　never　guess　what　extraordinary　events　are

revealed　by　the　anagram　of　this　sacramental　sentence〃　＇he　pulls　out　a

piece　of　paper　and　reads＇；　〃Charles　dix；　par　la　grace　de　Dieu；　roi　de

France　et　de　Navarre。〃



Godard　＇re…entering＇。　〃Tell　what　it　is　at　once；　and　don't　keep　people

waiting。〃



Colleville　＇triumphantly　unfolding　the　rest　of　the　paper＇。　〃Listen！



　　〃A　H。　V。　il　cedera；

　　De　S。　C。　l。　d。　partira；

　　Eh　nauf　errera；

　　Decide　a　Gorix。



〃Every　letter　is　there！〃　＇He　repeats　it。＇　〃A　Henry　cinq　cedera　（his

crown　of　course）；　de　Saint…Cloud　partira；　en　nauf　（that's　an　old

French　word　for　skiff；　vessel；　felucca；　corvette；　anything　you　like）

errera〃



Dutocq。　〃What　a　tissue　of　absurdities！　How　can　the　King　cede　his　crown

to　Henry　V。；　who；　according　to　your　nonsense；　must　be　his　grandson；

when　Monseigneur　le　Dauphin　is　living。　Are　you　prophesying　the

Dauphin's　death？〃



Bixiou。　〃What's　Gorix；　pray？the　name　of　a　cat？〃



Colleville　＇provoked＇。　〃It　is　the　archaeological　and　lapidarial

abbreviation　of　the　name　of　a　town；　my　good　friend；　I　looked　it　out　in

Malte…Brun：　Goritz；　in　Latin　Gorixia；　situated　in　Bohemia　or　Hungary；

or　it　may　be　Austria〃



Bixiou。　〃Tyrol；　the　Basque　provinces；　or　South　America。　Why　don't　you

set　it　all　to　music　and　play　it　on　the　clarionet？〃



Godard　＇shrugging　his　shoulders　and　departing＇。　〃What　utter　nonsense！〃



Colleville。　〃Nonsense！　nonsense　indeed！　It　is　a　pity　you　don't　take

the　trouble　to　study　fatalism；　the　religion　of　the　Emperor　Napoleon。〃



Godard　＇irritated　at　Colleville's　tone＇。　〃Monsieur　Colleville；　let　me

tell　you　that　Bonaparte　may　perhaps　be　styled　Emperor　by　historians；

but　it　is　extremely　out　of　place　to　refer　to　him　as　such　in　a

government　office。〃



Bixiou　＇laughing＇。　〃Get　an　anagram　out　of　that；　my　dear　fellow。〃



Colleville　＇angrily＇。　〃Let　me　tell　you　that　if　Napoleon　Bonaparte　had

studied　the　letters　of　his　name　on　the　14th　of　April；　1814；　he　might

perhaps　be　Emperor　still。〃



Bixiou。　〃How　do　you　make　that　out？〃



Colleville　＇solemnly＇。　〃Napoleon　Bonaparte。No；　appear　not　at　Elba！〃



Dutocq。　〃You'll　lose　your　place　for　talking　such　nonsense。〃



Colleville。　〃If　my　place　is　taken　from　me；　Francois　Keller　will　make

it　hot　for　your　minister。〃　＇Dead　silence。＇　〃I'd　have　you　to　know；

Master　Dutocq；　that　all　known　anagrams　have　actually　come　to　pass。

Look　here；you；　yourself；don't　you　marry；　for　there's　'coqu'　in

your　name。〃



Bixiou　＇interrupting＇。　〃And　d；　t；　for　de…testable。〃



Dutocq　＇without　seeming　angry＇。　〃I　don't　care；　as　long　as　it　is　only

in　my　name。　Why　don't　you　anagrammatize；　or　whatever　you　call　it；

'Xavier　Rabourdin；　chef　du　bureau'？〃



Colleville。　〃Bless　you；　so　I　have！〃



Bixiou　＇mending　his　pen＇。　〃And　what　did　you　make　of　it？〃



Colleville。　〃It　comes　out　as　follows：　D'abord　reva　bureaux；　E…u；（you

catch　the　meaning？　et　eutand　had）　E…u　fin　riche；　which　signifies

that　after　first　belonging　to　the　administration；　he　gave　it　up　and

got　rich　elsewhere。〃　＇Repeats。＇　〃D'abord　reva　bureaux；　E…u　fin　riche。〃



Dutocq。　〃That　IS　queer！〃



Bixiou。　〃Try　Isidore　Baudoyer。〃



Colleville　＇mysteriously＇。　〃I　sha'n't　tell　the　other　anagrams　to　any

one　but　Thuillier。〃



Bixiou。　〃I'll　bet　you　a　breakfast　that　I　can　tell　that　one　myself。〃



Colleville。　〃And　I'll　pay　if　you　find　it　out。〃



Bixiou。　〃Then　I　shall　breakfast　at　your　expense；　but　you　won't　be

angry；　will　you？　Two　such　geniuses　as　you　and　I　need　never　conflict。

'Isidore　Baudoyer'　anagrams　into　'Ris　d'aboyeur　d'oie。'〃



Colleville　＇petrified　with　amazement＇。　〃You　stole　it　from　me！〃



Bixiou　＇with　dignity＇。　〃Monsieur　Colleville；　do　me　the　honor　to

believe　that　I　am　rich　enough　in　absurdity　not　to　steal　my　neighbor's

nonsense。〃



Baudoyer　＇entering　with　a　bundle　of　papers　in　his　hand＇。　〃Gentlemen；　I

request　you　to　shout　a　little　louder；　you　bring　this　office　into　such

high　repute　with　the　administration。　My　worthy　coadjutor；　Monsieur

Clergeot；　did　me　the　honor　just　now　to　come　and　ask　a　question；　and　he

heard　the　noise　you　are　making〃　＇passes　into　Monsieur　Godard's　room＇。



Bixiou　＇in　a　low　voice＇。　〃The　watch…dog　is　very　tame　this　morning；

there'll　be　a　change　of　weather　before　night。〃



Dutocq　＇whispering　to　Bixiou＇。　〃I　have　something　I　want　to　say　to

you。〃



Bixiou　＇fingering　Dutocq's　waistcoat＇。　〃You've　a　pretty　waistcoat；

that　cost　you　nothing；　is　that　what　you　want　to　say？〃



Dutocq。　〃Nothing；　indeed！　I　never　paid　so　dear　for　anything　in　my

life。　That　stuff　cost　six　francs　a　yard　in　the　best　shop　in　the　rue　de

la　Paix；a　fine　dead　stuff；　the　very　thing　for　deep　mourning。〃



Bixiou。　〃You　know　about　engravings　and　such　things；　my　dear　fellow；

but　you　are　totally　ignorant　of　the　laws　of　etiquette。　Well；　no　man

can　be　a　universal　genius！　Silk　is　positively　not　admissible　in　deep

mourning。　Don't　you　see　I　am　wearing　woollen？　Monsieur　Rabourdin；

Monsieur　Baudoyer；　and　the　minister　are　all　in　woollen；　so　is　the

faubourg　Saint…Germain。　There's　no　one　here　but　Minard　who　doesn't

wear　woollen；