the water-babies-第31章

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And　at　that　his　poor　heathen　papa　and　mamma　were　as　much　delighted　as　if　they　had　found　a　gold　mine；　and　fell　down　upon　their　knees　before　the　Powwow　man；　and　gave　him　a　palanquin　with　a　pole　of　solid　silver　and　curtains　of　cloth　of　gold；　and　carried　him　about　in　it　on　their　own　backs：　　but　as　soon　as　they　had　taken　him　up；　the　pole　stuck　to　their　shoulders；　and　they　could　not　set　him　down　any　more；　but　carried　him　on　willynilly；　as　Sinbad　carried　the　old　man　of　the　sea：　　which　was　a　pitiable　sight　to　see；　for　the　father　was　a　very　brave　officer；　and　wore　two　swords　and　a　blue　button；　and　the　mother　was　as　pretty　a　lady　as　ever　had　pinched　feet　like　a　Chinese。　　But　you　see；　they　had　chosen　to　do　a　foolish　thing　just　once　too　often；　so；　by　the　laws　of　Mrs。　Bedonebyasyoudid；　they　had　to　go　on　doing　it　whether　they　chose　or　not；　till　the　coming　of　the　Cocqcigrues。

Ah！　don't　you　wish　that　some　one　would　go　and　convert　those　poor　heathens；　and　teach　them　not　to　frighten　their　little　children　into　fits？

〃Now；　then；〃　said　the　Powwow　man　to　Tom；　〃wouldn't　you　like　to　be　frightened；　my　little　dear？　　For　I　can　see　plainly　that　you　are　a　very　wicked；　naughty；　graceless；　reprobate　boy。〃

〃You're　another；〃　quoth　Tom；　very　sturdily。　　And　when　the　man　ran　at　him；　and　cried　〃Boo！〃　　Tom　ran　at　him　in　return；　and　cried　〃Boo！〃　likewise；　right　in　his　face；　and　set　the　little　dog　upon　him；　and　at　his　legs　the　dog　went。

At　which；　if　you　will　believe　it；　the　fellow　turned　tail；　thunderbox　and　all；　with　a　〃Woof！〃　like　an　old　sow　on　the　common；　and　ran　for　his　life；　screaming；　〃Help！　thieves！　murder！　fire！　　He　is　going　to　kill　me！　　I　am　a　ruined　man！　　He　will　murder　me；　and　break；　burn；　and　destroy　my　precious　and　invaluable　thunderbox；　and　then　you　will　have　no　more　thunder…showers　in　the　land。　　Help！　help！　help！〃

At　which　the　papa　and　mamma　and　all　the　people　of　Oldwivesfabledom　flew　at　Tom；　shouting；　〃Oh；　the　wicked；　impudent；　hard…hearted；　graceless　boy！　　Beat　him；　kick　him；　shoot　him；　drown　him；　hang　him；　burn　him！〃　and　so　forth：　　but　luckily　they　had　nothing　to　shoot；　hang；　or　burn　him　with；　for　the　fairies　had　hid　all　the　killing…　tackle　out　of　the　way　a　little　while　before；　so　they　could　only　pelt　him　with　stones；　and　some　of　the　stones　went　clean　through　him；　and　came　out　the　other　side。　　But　he　did　not　mind　that　a　bit；　for　the　holes　closed　up　again　as　fast　as　they　were　made；　because　he　was　a　water…baby。　　However；　he　was　very　glad　when　he　was　safe　out　of　the　country；　for　the　noise　there　made　him　all　but　deaf。

Then　he　came　to　a　very　quiet　place；　called　Leaveheavenalone。　　And　there　the　sun　was　drawing　water　out　of　the　sea　to　make　steam…　threads；　and　the　wind　was　twisting　them　up　to　make　cloud…patterns；　till　they　had　worked　between　them　the　loveliest　wedding　veil　of　Chantilly　lace；　and　hung　it　up　in　their　own　Crystal　Palace　for　any　one　to　buy　who　could　afford　it；　while　the　good　old　sea　never　grudged；　for　she　knew　they　would　pay　her　back　honestly。　　So　the　sun　span；　and　the　wind　wove；　and　all　went　well　with　the　great　steam…　loom；　as　is　likely；　considering　…　and　considering　…　and　considering　…

And　at　last；　after　innumerable　adventures；　each　more　wonderful　than　the　last；　he　saw　before　him　a　huge　building；　much　bigger；　and　…　what　is　most　surprising　…　a　little　uglier　than　a　certain　new　lunatic　asylum；　but　not　built　quite　of　the　same　materials。　　None　of　it；　at　least　…　or；　indeed；　for　aught　that　I　ever　saw；　any　part　of　any　other　building　whatsoever　…　is　cased　with　nine…inch　brick　inside　and　out；　and　filled　up　with　rubble　between　the　walls；　in　order　that　any　gentleman　who　has　been　confined　during　Her　Majesty's　pleasure　may　be　unconfined　during　his　own　pleasure；　and　take　a　walk　in　the　neighbouring　park　to　improve　his　spirits；　after　an　hour's　light　and　wholesome　labour　with　his　dinner…fork　or　one　of　the　legs　of　his　iron　bedstead。　　No。　　The　walls　of　this　building　were　built　on　an　entirely　different　principle；　which　need　not　be　described；　as　it　has　not　yet　been　discovered。

Tom　walked　towards　this　great　building；　wondering　what　it　was；　and　having　a　strange　fancy　that　he　might　find　Mr。　Grimes　inside　it；　till　he　saw　running　toward　him；　and　shouting　〃Stop！〃　three　or　four　people；　who；　when　they　came　nearer；　were　nothing　else　than　policemen's　truncheons；　running　along　without　legs　or　arms。

Tom　was　not　astonished。　　He　was　long　past　that。　　Besides；　he　had　seen　the　naviculae　in　the　water　move　nobody　knows　how；　a　hundred　times；　without　arms；　or　legs；　or　anything　to　stand　in　their　stead。　Neither　was　he　frightened　for　he　had　been　doing　no　harm。

So　he　stopped；　and；　when　the　foremost　truncheon　came　up　and　asked　his　business；　he　showed　Mother　Carey's　pass；　and　the　truncheon　looked　at　it　in　the　oddest　fashion；　for　he　had　one　eye　in　the　middle　of　his　upper　end；　so　that　when　he　looked　at　anything；　being　quite　stiff；　he　had　to　slope　himself；　and　poke　himself；　till　it　was　a　wonder　why　he　did　not　tumble　over；　but；　being　quite　full　of　the　spirit　of　justice　（as　all　policemen；　and　their　truncheons；　ought　to　be）；　he　was　always　in　a　position　of　stable　equilibrium；　whichever　way　he　put　himself。

〃All　right　…　pass　on；〃　said　he　at　last。　　And　then　he　added：　　〃I　had　better　go　with　you；　young　man。〃　　And　Tom　had　no　objection；　for　such　company　was　both　respectable　and　safe；　so　the　truncheon　coiled　its　thong　neatly　round　its　handle；　to　prevent　tripping　itself　up　…　for　the　thong　had　got　loose　in　running　…　and　marched　on　by　Tom's　side。

〃Why　have　you　no　policeman　to　carry　you？〃　asked　Tom；　after　a　while。

〃Because　we　are　not　like　those　clumsy…made　truncheons　in　the　land…　world；　which　cannot　go　without　having　a　whole　man　to　carry　them　about。　　We　do　our　own　work　for　ourselves；　and　do　it　very　well；　though　I　say　it　who　should　not。〃

〃Then　why　have　you　a　thong　to　your　handle？〃　asked　Tom。

〃To　hang　ourselves　up　by；　of　course；　when　we　are　off　duty。〃

Tom　had　got　his　answer；　and　had　no　more　to　say；　till　they　came　up　to　the　great　iron　door　of　the　prison。　　And　there　the　truncheon　knocked　twice；　with　its　own　head。

A　wicket　in　the　door　opened；　and　out　looked　a　tremendous　old　brass　blunderbuss　charged　up　to　the　muzzle　with　slugs；　who　was　the　porter；　and　Tom　started　back　a　little　at　the　sight　of　him。

〃What　case　is　this？〃　he　asked　in　a　deep　voice；　out　of　his　broad　bell　mouth。

〃If　you　please；　sir；　it　is　no　case；　only　a　young　gentleman　from　her　ladyship；　who　wants　to　see　Grimes；　the　master…sweep。〃

〃Grimes？〃　said　the　blunderbuss。　　And　he　pulled　in　his　muzzle；　perhaps　to　look　over　his　prison…lists。

〃Grimes　is　up　chimney　No。　345；〃　he　said　from　inside。　　〃So　the　young　gentleman　had　better　go　on　to　the　roof。〃

Tom　looked　up　at　the　enormous　wall；　which　seemed　at　least　ninety　miles　high；　and　wondered　how　he　should　ever　get　up：　　but；　when　he　hinted　that　to　the　truncheon；　it　settled　the　matter　in　a　moment。　For　it　whisked　round；　and　gave　him　such　a　shove　behind　as　sent　him　up　to　the　roof　in　no　time；　with　his　little　dog　under　his　arm。

And　there　he　walked　along　the　leads；　till　he　met　another　truncheon；　and　told　him　his　errand。

〃Very　good；〃　it　said。　　〃Come　along：　　but　it　will　be　of　no　use。　　He　is　the　most　unremorseful；　hard…hearted；　foul…mouthed　fellow　I　have　in　charge；　and　thinks　about　nothing　but　beer　and　pipes；　which　are　not　allowed　here；　of　course。〃

So　they　walked　along　over　the　leads；　and　very　sooty　they　were；　and　Tom　thought　the　chimneys　must　want　sweeping　very　much。　　But　he　was　surprised　to　see　that　the　soot　did　not　stick　to　his　feet；　or　dirty　them　in　the　least。　　Neither　did　the　live　coals；　which　were　lying　about　in　plenty；　burn　him；　for；　being　a　water…baby；　his　radical　humours　were　of　a　moist　and　cold　nature；　as　you　may　read　at　large　in　Lemnius；　Cardan；　Van　Helmont；　and　other　gentlemen；　who　knew　as　much　as　they　could；　and　no　man　can　know　more。

And　at　last　they　came　to　chimney　No。　345。　　Out　of　the　top　of　it；　his　head　and　shoulders　just　showing；　stuck　poor　Mr。　Grimes；　so　sooty；　and　bleared；　and　ugly；　that　Tom　could　hardly　bear　to　look　at　him。　　And　in　his　mouth　was　a　pipe；　but　it　was　not　a…light；　though　he　was　pulling　at　it　with　all　his　might。

〃Attention；　Mr。　Grimes；〃　said　the　truncheon；　〃here　is　a　gentleman　come　to　see　you。〃

But　Mr。　Grimes　only　said　bad　words；　and　kept　grumbling；　〃My　pipe　won't　draw。　　My　pipe　won't　draw。〃

〃Keep　a　civil　tongue；　and　attend！〃　said　the　truncheon；　and　popped　up　just　like　Punch；　hitting　Grimes　such　a　crack　over　the　head　with　itself；　that　his　brains　rattled　inside　like　a　dried　walnut　in　its　shell。　　He　tried　to　get　his　hands　out；　and　rub　the　place：　　but　he　could　not；　for　they　were　stuck　fast　in　the　chimney。　　Now　he　was　forced　to　attend。

〃Hey！〃　he　said；　〃why；　it's　Tom！　　I　suppose　you　have　come　here　to　laugh　at　me；　you　spiteful　little　atomy？〃

Tom　assured　him　he　had　not；　but　only　wanted　to　help　him。

〃I　don't　want　anything　except　beer；　and　that　I　can't　get；　and　a　light　to　this　bothering　pipe；　and　that　I　can't　get　either。〃

〃I'll　get　you　one；〃　said　Tom；　and　he　took　up　a　live　coal　（there　were　plenty　lying　about）　and　put　it　to　Grimes'　pipe：　　but　it　went　out　instantly。

〃It's　no　use；〃　said　the　truncheon；　leaning　itself　up　against　the　chimney　and　looking　on。　　〃I　tell　you；　it　is　no　use。　　His　heart　is　so　cold　that　it　freezes　everything　that　comes　near　him。　　You　will　see　that　presently；　plain　enough。〃

〃Oh；　of　course；　it's　my　fault。　　Everything's　always　my　fault；〃　said　Grimes。　　〃Now　don't　go　to　hit　me　again〃　（for　the　truncheon　started　upright；　and　looked　very　wicked）；　〃you　know；　if　my　arms　were　only　free；　you　daren't　hit　me　then。〃

The　truncheon　leant　back　against　the　chimney；　and　took　no　notice　of　the　personal　insult；　like　a　well…trained　policeman　as　it　was；　though　he　was　ready　enough　to　avenge　any　transgression　against　morality　or　order。

〃But　can't　I　help　you　in　any　other　way？　　Can't　I　help　you　to　get　out　of　this　chimney？〃　said　Tom。

〃No；〃　interposed　the　truncheon；　〃he　has　come　to　the　place　where　everybody　must　help　themselves；　and　he　will　find　it　out；　I　hope；　before　he　has　done　with　me。〃

〃Oh；　yes；〃　said　Grimes；　〃of　course　it's　me。　　Did　I　ask　to　be　brought　here　into　the　prison？　　Did　I　ask　to　be　set　to　sweep　your　foul　chimneys？　　Did　I　ask　to　have　lighted　straw　put　under　me　to　make　me　go　up？　　Did　I　ask　to　stick　fast　in　the　very　first　chimney　of　all；　because　it　was　so　shamefully　clogged　up　with　soot？　　Did　I　ask　to　stay　here　…　I　don't　know　how　long　…　a　hundred　years；　I　do　believe；　and　never　get　my　pipe；　nor　my　beer；　nor　nothing　fit　for　a　beast；　let　alone　a　man？〃

〃No；〃　answered　a　solemn　voice　behind。　　〃No　more　did　Tom；　when　you　behaved　to　him　in　the　very　same　way。〃

It　was　Mrs。　Bedonebyasyoudid。　　And；　when　the　truncheon　saw　her；　it　started　bolt　upright　…　Attention！　…　and　made　such　a　low　bow；　that　if　it　had　not　been　full　of　the　spirit　of　justice；　it　must　have　tumbled　on　its　end；　and　probably　hurt　its　one　eye。　　And　Tom　made　his　bow　too。

〃Oh；　ma'am；〃　he　said；　〃don't　think　about　me；　that's　all　past　and　gone；　and　good　times　and　bad　times　and　all　times　pass　over。　　But　may　not　I　help　poor　Mr。　Grimes？　　Mayn't　I　try　and　get　some　of　these　bricks　away；　that　he　may　move　his　arms？〃

〃You　may　try；　of　course；〃　she　said。

So　Tom　pulled　and　tugged　at　the　bricks：　　but　he　could　not　move　one。　And　then　he　tried　to　wipe　Mr。　Grimes'　fa