burlesques-第31章

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As　I　had　distinguished　myself　not　a　little　during　the　war；　General

Lake　sent　me　up　with　despatches　to　Calcutta；　where　Lord　Wellesley

received　me　with　the　greatest　distinction。　　Fancy　my　surprise；　on

going　to　a　ball　at　Government　House；　to　meet　my　old　friend　Jowler；

my　trembling；　blushing；　thrilling　delight；　when　I　saw　Julia　by　his

side！



Jowler　seemed　to　blush　too　when　he　beheld　me。　　I　thought　of　my

former　passages　with　his　daughter。　　〃Gagy　my　boy；〃　says　he；　shaking

hands；　glad　to　see　you。　　Old　friend；　Juliacome　to　tiffin

Hodgson's　palebrave　fellow　Gagy。〃　　Julia　did　not　speak；　but　she

turned　ashy　pale；　and　fixed　upon　me　her　awful　eyes！　　I　fainted

almost；　and　uttered　some　incoherent　words。　　Julia　took　my　hand；

gazed　at　me　still；　and　said；　〃Come！〃　　Need　I　say　I　went？



I　will　not　go　over　the　pale　ale　and　currie…bhaut　again；　but　this　I

know；　that　in　half　an　hour　I　was　as　much　in　love　as　I　ever　had

been：　and　that　in　three　weeks　Iyes；　Iwas　the　accepted　lover　of

Julia！　　I　did　not　pause　to　ask　where　were　the　one　hundred　and

twenty…four　offers？　why　I；　refused　before；　should　be　accepted　now？

I　only　felt　that　I　loved　her；　and　was　happy！



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One　night；　one　memorable　night；　I　could　not　sleep；　and；　with　a

lover's　pardonable　passion；　wandered　solitary　through　the　city　of

palaces　until　I　came　to　the　house　which　contained　my　Julia。　　I

peeped　into　the　compoundall　was　still；　I　looked　into　the　veranda

all　was　dark；　except　a　lightyes；　one　lightand　it　was　in

Julia's　chamber！　　My　heart　throbbed　almost　to　stilling。　　I　wouldI

WOULD　advance；　if　but　to　gaze　upon　her　for　a　moment；　and　to　bless

her　as　she　slept。　　I　DID　look；　I　DID　advance；　and；　O　heaven！　I　saw

a　lamp　burning；　Mrs。　Jow。　in　a　nightdress；　with　a　very　dark　baby　in

her　arms；　and　Julia　looking　tenderly　at　an　ayah；　who　was　nursing

another。



〃Oh；　mamma；〃　said　Julia；　〃what　would　that　fool　Gahagan　say　if　he

knew　all？〃



〃HE　DOES　KNOW　ALL！〃　shouted　I；　springing　forward；　and　tearing　down

the　tatties　from　the　window。　　Mrs。　Jow。　ran　shrieking　out　of　the

room；　Julia　fainted；　the　cursed　black　children　squalled；　and　their

dd　nurse　fell　on　her　knees；　gabbling　some　infernal　jargon　of

Hindustanee。　　Old　Jowler　at　this　juncture　entered　with　a　candle　and

a　drawn　sword。



〃Liar！　scoundrel！　deceiver！〃　shouted　I。　　〃Turn；　ruffian；　and　defend

yourself！〃　　But　old　Jowler；　when　he　saw　me；　only　whistled；　looked

at　his　lifeless　daughter；　and　slowly　left　the　room。



Why　continue　the　tale？　　I　need　not　now　account　for　Jowler's　gloom

on　receiving　his　letters　from　Benaresfor　his　exclamation　upon　the

death　of　the　Indian　chieffor　his　desire　to　marry　his　daughter：

the　woman　I　was　wooing　was　no　longer　Miss　Julia　Jowler；　she　was

Mrs。　Chowder　Loll！





CHAPTER　II。



ALLYGHUR　AND　LASWAREE。





I　sat　down　to　write　gravely　and　sadly；　for　（since　the　appearance　of

some　of　my　adventures　in　a　monthly　magazine）　unprincipled　men　have

endeavored　to　rob　me　of　the　only　good　I　possess；　to　question　the

statements　that　I　make；　and；　themselves　without　a　spark　of　honor　or

good　feeling；　to　steal　from　me　that　which　is　my　sole　wealthmy

character　as　a　teller　of　THE　TRUTH。



The　reader　will　understand　that　it　is　to　the　illiberal　strictures

of　a　profligate　press　I　now　allude；　among　the　London　journalists；

none　（luckily　for　themselves）　have　dared　to　question　the　veracity

of　my　statements：　they　know　me；　and　they　know　that　I　am　IN　LONDON。

If　I　can　use　the　pen；　I　can　also　wield　a　more　manly　and　terrible

weapon；　and　would　answer　their　contradictions　with　my　sword！　　No

gold　or　gems　adorn　the　hilt　of　that　war…worn　scimitar；　but　there　is

blood　upon　the　bladethe　blood　of　the　enemies　of　my　country；　and

the　maligners　of　my　honest　fame。　　There　are　others；　howeverthe

disgrace　of　a　disgraceful　tradewho；　borrowing　from　distance　a

despicable　courage；　have　ventured　to　assail　me。　　The　infamous

editors　of　the　Kelso　Champion；　the　Bungay　Beacon；　the　Tipperary

Argus；　and　the　Stoke　Pogis　Sentinel；　and　other　dastardly　organs　of

the　provincial　press；　have；　although　differing　in　politics；　agreed

upon　this　one　point；　and　with　a　scoundrelly　unanimity；　vented　a

flood　of　abuse　upon　the　revelations　made　by　me。



They　say　that　I　have　assailed　private　characters；　and　wilfully

perverted　history　to　blacken　the　reputation　of　public　men。　　I　ask；

was　any　one　of　these　men　in　Bengal　in　the　year　1803？　　Was　any

single　conductor　of　any　one　of　these　paltry　prints　ever　in

Bundelcund　or　the　Rohilla　country？　　Does　this　EXQUISITE　Tipperary

scribe　know　the　difference　between　Hurrygurrybang　and　Burrumtollah？

Not　he！　and　because；　forsooth；　in　those　strange　and　distant　lands

strange　circumstances　have　taken　place；　it　is　insinuated　that　the

relater　is　a　liar：　nay；　that　the　very　places　themselves　have　no

existence　but　in　my　imagination。　　Fools！but　I　will　not　waste　my

anger　upon　them；　and　proceed　to　recount　some　other　portions　of　my

personal　history。



It　is；　I　presume；　a　fact　which　even　THESE　scribbling　assassins　will

not　venture　to　deny；　that　before　the　commencement　of　the　campaign

against　Scindiah；　the　English　General　formed　a　camp　at　Kanouge　on

the　Jumna；　where　he　exercised　that　brilliant　little　army　which　was

speedily　to　perform　such　wonders　in　the　Dooab。　　It　will　be　as　well

to　give　a　slight　account　of　the　causes　of　a　war　which　was　speedily

to　rage　through　some　of　the　fairest　portions　of　the　Indian

continent。



Shah　Allum；　the　son　of　Shah　Lollum；　the　descendant　by　the　female

line　of　Nadir　Shah　（that　celebrated　Toorkomaun　adventurer；　who　had

wellnigh　hurled　Bajazet　and　Selim　the　Second　from　the　throne　of

Bagdad）Shah　Allum；　I　say；　although　nominally　the　Emperor　of

Delhi；　was　in　reality　the　slave　of　the　various　warlike　chieftains

who　lorded　it　by　turns　over　the　country　and　the　sovereign；　until

conquered　and　slain　by　some　more　successful　rebel。　　Chowder　Loll

Masolgee；　Zubberdust　Khan；　Dowsunt　Row　Scindiah；　and　the　celebrated

Bobbachy　Jung　Bahawder；　had　held　for　a　time　complete　mastery　in

Delhi。　　The　second　of　these；　a　ruthless　Afghan　soldier；　had

abruptly　entered　the　capital；　nor　was　he　ejected　from　it　until　he

had　seized　upon　the　principal　jewels；　and　likewise　put　out　the　eyes

of　the　last　of　the　unfortunate　family　of　Afrasiab。　　Scindiah　came

to　the　rescue　of　the　sightless　Shah　Allum；　and　though　he　destroyed

his　oppressor；　only　increased　his　slavery；　holding　him　in　as

painful　a　bondage　as　he　had　suffered　under　the　tyrannous　Afghan。



As　long　as　these　heroes　were　battling　among　themselves；　or　as　long

rather　as　it　appeared　that　they　had　any　strength　to　fight　a　battle；

the　British　Government；　ever　anxious　to　see　its　enemies　by　the

ears；　by　no　means　interfered　in　the　contest。　　But　the　French

Revolution　broke　out；　and　a　host　of　starving　sans…culottes　appeared

among　the　various　Indian　States；　seeking　for　military　service；　and

inflaming　the　minds　of　the　various　native　princes　against　the

British　East　India　Company。　　A　number　of　these　entered　into

Scindiah's　ranks：　one　of　them；　Perron；　was　commander　of　his　army；

and　though　that　chief　was　as　yet　quite　engaged　in　his　hereditary

quarrel　with　Jeswunt　Row　Holkar；　and　never　thought　of　an　invasion

of　the　British　territory；　the　Company　all　of　a　sudden　discovered

that　Shah　Allum；　his　sovereign；　was　shamefully　ill…used；　and

determined　to　re…establish　the　ancient　splendor　of　his　throne。



Of　course　it　was　sheer　benevolence　for　poor　Shah　Allum　that

prompted　our　governors　to　take　these　kindly　measures　in　his　favor。

I　don't　know　how　it　happened　that；　at　the　end　of　the　war；　the　poor

Shah　was　not　a　whit　better　off　than　at　the　beginning；　and　that

though　Holkar　was　beaten；　and　Scindiah　annihilated；　Shah　Allum　was

much　such　a　puppet　as　before。　　Somehow；　in　the　hurry　and　confusion

of　this　struggle；　the　oyster　remained　with　the　British　Government；

who　had　so　kindly　offered　to　dress　it　for　the　Emperor；　while　his

Majesty　was　obliged　to　be　contented　with　the　shell。



The　force　encamped　at　Kanouge　bore　the　title　of　the　Grand　Army　of

the　Ganges　and　the　Jumna；　it　consisted　of　eleven　regiments　of

cavalry　and　twelve　battalions　of　infantry；　and　was　commanded　by

General　Lake　in　person。



Well；　on　the　1st　of　September　we　stormed　Perron's　camp　at　Allyghur；

on　the　fourth　we　took　that　fortress　by　assault；　and　as　my　name　was

mentioned　in　general　orders；　I　may　as　well　quote　the　Commander…in…

Chief's　words　regarding　methey　will　spare　me　the　trouble　of

composing　my　own　eulogium：



〃The　Commander…in…Chief　is　proud　thus　publicly　to　declare　his　high

sense　of　the　gallantry　of　Lieutenant　Gahagan；　of　the　　cavalry。

In　the　storming　of　the　fortress；　although　unprovided　with　a　single

ladder；　and　accompanied　but　by　a　few　brave　men；　Lieutenant　Gahagan

succeeded　in　escalading　the　inner　and　fourteenth　wall　of　the　place。

Fourteen　ditches　lined　with　sword…blades　and　poisoned　chevaux…de…

frise；　fourteen　walls　bristling　with　innumerable　artillery　and　as

smooth　as　looking…glasses；　were　in　turn　triumphantly　passed　by　that

enterprising　officer。　　His　course　was　to　be　traced　by　the　heaps　of

slaughtered　enemies　lying　thick　upon　the　platforms；　and　alas！　by

the　corpses　of　most　of　the　gallant　men　who　followed　him！when　at

length　he　effected　his　lodgment；　and　the　dastardly　enemy；　who　dared

not　to　confront　him　with　arms；　let　loose　upon　him　the　tigers　and

lions　of　Scindiah's　menagerie。　　This　meritorious　officer　destroyed；

with　his　own　hand；　four　of　the　largest　and　most　ferocious　animals；

and　the　rest；　awed　by　the　indomitable　majesty　of　BRITISH　VALOR；

shrank　back　to　their　dens。　　Thomas　Higgory；　a　private；　and　Runty

Goss；　havildar；　were　the　only　two　who　remained　out　of　the　nine

hundred　who　followed　Lieutenant　Gahagan。　　Honor　to　them！　honor　and

tears　for　the　brave　men　who　perished　on　that　awful　day！〃



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I　　have　copied　this；　word　for　word；　from　the　Bengal　Hurkaru　of

September　24；　1803：　and　anybody　who　has　the　slightest　doubt　as　to

the　statement；　may　refer　to　the　paper　itself。



And　here　I　must　pause　to　give　thanks　to　Fortune；　which　so

marvellously　preserved　me；　Sergeant…Major　Higgory；　and　Runty　Goss。

Were　I　to　say　that　any　valor　of　ours　had　carried　us　unhurt　through

this　tremendous　combat；　the　reader　would　laugh　me　to　scorn。　　No：

though　my　narrative　is　extraordinary；　it　is　nevertheless　authentic；

and　never；　never　would　I　sacrifice　truth　for　the　mere　sake　of

effect。　　The　fact　is　this：the　citadel　of　Allyghur　is　situated

upon　a　rock；　about　a　thousand　feet　above　the　level　of　the　sea；　and

is　surrounded　by　fourteen　walls；　as　his　Excellency　was　good　enough

to　remark　in　his　despatch。　　A　man　who　would　mount　these　without

scaling…ladders；　is　an　ass；　he　who　would　SAY　he　mounted　them

without　such　assistance；　is　a　liar　and　a　knave。　　We　HAD　scaling…

ladders　at　the　commencement　of　the　assau