the crime of sylvestre bonnard(西维斯特·博拉德的罪行)-第35章
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Therese very plainly； standing at the foot of my bed； I can hear her
speaking to me perfectly well； and I should be able to answer her quite
satisfactorily if I were not kept so busy in trying to compel the various
objects about me to maintain their natural aspect。
Here is the doctor coming。 I never sent for him； but it gives me
pleasure to see him。 He is an old neighbor of mine； I have never been of
much service to him； but I like him very much。 Even if I do not say much
to him； I have at least full possession of all my faculties； and I even find
myself extraordinarily crafty and observant to…day； for I note all his
gestures； his every look； the least wrinkling of his face。 But the doctor is
very cunning； too； and I cannot really tell what he thinks about me。 The
deep thought of Goethe suddenly comes to my mind and I exclaim；
〃Doctor； the old man has consented to allow himself to become sick；
but he does not intend； this time at least； to make any further concessions
to nature。〃
Neither the doctor nor Therese laughs at my little joke。 I suppose they
cannot have understood it。
The doctor goes away； evening comes； and all sorts of strange
shadows begin to shape themselves about my bed…curtains； forming and
dissolving by turns。 And other shadowsghoststhrong by before me； and
through them I can see distinctively the impassive face of my faithful
servant。 And suddenly a cry； a shrill cry； a great cry of distress； rends my
ears。 Was it you who called me Jeanne？
The day is over； and the shadows take their places at my bedside to
remain with me all through the long night。
Then morning comesI feel a peace； a vast peace； wrapping me all
about。
Art Thou about to take me into Thy rest； my dear Lord God？
February 186…。
The doctor is quite jovial。 It seems that I am doing him a great deal of
credit by being able to get out of bed。 If I must believe him； innumerable
disorders must have pounced down upon my poor old body all at the same
time。
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These disorders； which are the terror of ordinary mankind； have names
which are the terror of philologists。 They are hybrid names； half Greek；
half Latin； with terminations in 〃itis；〃 indicating the inflammatory
condition； and in 〃algia；〃 indicating pain。 The doctor gives me all their
names； together with a corresponding number of adjectives ending in 〃ic；〃
which serve to characterise their detestable qualities。 In short； they
represent a good half of that most perfect copy of the Dictionary of
Medicine contained in the too… authentic box of Pandora。
〃Doctor； what an excellent common…sense story the story of Pandora
is！if I were a poet I would put it into French verse。 Shake hands； doctor！
You have brought me back to life； I forgive you for it。 You have given me
back to my friends； I thank you for it。 You say I am quite strong。 That may
be； that may be； but I have lasted a very long time。 I am a very old article
of furniture； I might be very satisfactorily compared to my father's arm…
chair。 It was an arm… chair which the good man had inherited； and in which
he used to lounge from morning until evening。 Twenty times a day； when I
was quite a baby； I used to climb up and seat myself on one of the arms of
that old…fashioned chair。 So long as the chair remained intact； nobody paid
any particular attention to it。 But it began to limp on one foot and then
folks began to say that it was a very good chair。 Afterwards it became
lame in three legs； squeaked with the fourth leg； and lost nearly half of
both arms。 Then everybody would exclaim； 'What a strong chair！' They
wondered how it was that after its arms had been worn off and all its legs
knocked out of perpendicular； it could yet preserve the recognisable shape
of a chair； remains nearly erect； and still be of some service。 The horse…
hair came out of its body at last； and it gave up the ghost。 And when
Cyprien； our servant； sawed up its mutilated members for fire…wood；
everybody redoubled their cries of admiration。 Oh！ what an excellent
what a marvellous chair！ It was the chair of Pierre Sylvestre Bonnard； the
cloth merchantof Epimenide Bonnard； his sonof Jean…Baptiste Bonnard；
the Pyrrhonian philosopher and Chief of the Third Maritime Division。 Oh！
what a robust and venerable chair！' In reality it was a dead chair。 Well；
doctor； I am that chair。 You think I am solid because I have been able to
resist an attack which would have killed many people； and which only
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three… fourths killed me。 Much obliged！ I feel none the less that I am
something which has been irremediably damaged。〃
The doctor tries to prove to me； with the help of enormous Greek and
Latin words； that I am really in a very good condition。 It would； of course；
be useless to attempt any demonstration of this kind in so lucid a language
as French。 However； I allow him to persuade me at last； and I see him to
the door。
〃Good！ good！〃 exclaimed Therese； 〃that is the way to put the doctor
out of the house！ Just do the same thing once or twice again； and he will
not come to see you any moreand so much the better？〃
〃Well； Therese； now that I have become such a hearty man again； do
not refuse to give me my letters。 I am sure there must be quite a big bundle
of letters； and it would be very wicked to keep me any longer from reading
them。〃
Therese； after some little grumbling； gave me my letters。 But what did
it matter？I looked at all the envelopes； and saw that no one of them had
been addressed by the little hand which I so much wish I could see here
now； turning over the pages of the Vecellio。 I pushed the whole bundle of
letters away： they had no more interest for me。
April…June
It was a hotly contested engagement。
〃Wait； Monsieur； until I have put on my clean things；〃 exclaimed
Therese； 〃and I will go out with you this time also； I will carry your
folding…stool as I have been doing these last few days； and we will go and
sit down somewhere in the sun。〃
Therese actually thinks me infirm。 I have been sick； it is true； but there
is an end to all things！ Madame Malady has taken her departure quite
awhile ago； and it is now more than three months since her pale and
gracious…visaged handmaid； Dame Convalescence； politely bade me
farewell。 If I were to listen to my housekeeper； I should become a veritable
Monsieur Argant； and I should wear a nightcap with ribbons for the rest of
my life。。。。 No more of this！ I propose to go out by myself！ Therese will
not hear of it。 She takes my folding…stool； and wants to follow me。
〃Therese； to…morrow； if you like； we will take our seats on the sunny
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side of the wall of La Petite Provence and stay there just as long as you
please。 But to…day I have some very important affairs to attend to。〃
〃So much the better！ But your affairs are not the only affairs in this
world。〃
I beg； I scold； I make my escape。
It is quite a pleasant day。 With the aid of a cab and the help of almighty
God； I trust to be able to fulfil my purpose。
There is the wall on which is painted in great blue letters the words
〃Pensionnat de Demoiselles tenu par Mademoiselle Virginie Prefere。〃
There is the iron gate which would give free entrance into the court…yard if
it were ever opened。 But the lock is rusty； and sheets of zinc put up behind
the bars protect the indiscreet observation those dear little souls to whom
Mademoiselle Prefere doubtless teaches modesty； sincerity； justice； and
disinterestedness。 There is a window； with iron bars before it； and panes
daubed over with white paintthe window of the domestic offices； like a
glazed eyethe only aperture of the building opening upon the exterior
world。 As for the house…door； through which I entered so often； but which
is now closed against me for ever； it is just as I saw it the last time； with its
little iron…grated wicket。 The single stone step in front of it is deeply worn；
and； without having very good eyes behind my spectacles； I can see the
little white scratches on the stone which have been made by the nails in
the shoes of the girls going in and out。 And why cannot I also go in？ I have
a feeling that Jeanne must be suffering a great deal in this dismal house；
and that she calls my name in secret。 I cannot go away from the gate！ A
strange anxiety takes hold of me。 I pull the bell。 The scared…looking
servant comes to the door； even more scared… looking than when I saw her
the last time。 Strict orders have been given； I am not to be allowed to see
Mademoiselle Jeanne。 I beg the servant to be so kind as to tell me how the
child is。 The servant； after looking to her right and then to her left； tells me
that Mademoiselle Jeanne is well； and then shuts the door in my face。 And
I am all alone in the street again。
How many times since then have I wandered in the same way under
that wall； and passed before the little door；full of shame and despair to
find myself even weaker than that poor child； who has no other help of
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friend except myself in the world！
Finally I overcame my repugnance sufficiently to call upon Maitre
Mouche。 The first thing I remarked was that his office is much more dusty
and much more mouldy this year that it was last year。 The notary made his
appearance after a moment； with his familiar stiff gestures； and his restless
eyes quivering behind his eye…glasses。 I made my complaints to hi
