phyllis of philistia-第17章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


ship；　was　not　to　be　confounded　with　the　herd　whose　example　was　clearly　emulated　by　the　present　government　in　seeking　self…destruction　by　running　down　a　steep　place　into　the　sea。　（Cries　of　〃Order；　order！〃）　If　there　was　any　doubt　before；　the　honorable　member　continued；　as　to　the　influence　which　was　at　work　in　that　Gadarene　herd；　which　assumed　the　functions　of　Her　Majesty's　government；　the　sounds　that　now　came　from　the　Treasury　Benches　would　convince　even　the　most　skeptical　that　sacred　history　is　sometimes　repeated　by　profane；　but　he　could　not　compliment　the　devils；　who　had　the　bad　taste　to（Several　honorable　members　here　rose　amid　the　cheers　of　the　Irish　Members；　and　a　scene　of　confusion　took　place。）

THE　SPEAKER　＇sternly＇：　Order；　Order！　The　honorable　member　from　Ballynamuck　must　resume　his　seat。　He　is　out　of　order。　The　question　before　the　House　is　not　the　good　taste　of　demoniac　visitants。　I　call　upon　the　right　honorable　gentleman；　the　Minister　for　the　Department　of　Annexation。

MR。　McCULLUM　（Blairpukey　Burghs）：　Mr。　Speaker；　one　moment。　To　save　time；　will　the　right　honorable　gentleman　say　if　the　Highland　Crofters；　whose　land　was　stolen　from　them　in　order　that　the　members　of　the　Upper　House

THE　SPEAKER：　Order！　The　Minister　for　the　Department　of　Annexation。

MR。　BLISTER　（Battersea；　Mid）：　Mr。　Speaker；　though　I　don't　do　any　work　myself；　I'm　the　representative　of　labor；　only　those　contemptible　skunks；　the　workingmen；　don't　see　that　they　have　a　man　for　a　leadera　man；　that's　methat's　Joe　Blister。　And　as　the　Upper　House　has　been　introduced；　I'll　run；　eat；　or　swear　with　the　best　of　that　lot　of　tap…　room　loafers；　I'll　do　anything　but　fight　themexcept；　of　course；　on　a　labor　platform；　and　if

THE　SPEAKER：　The　honorable　member　is　out　of　order。　The　Minister　for　the　Department　of　Annexations。

THE　MINISTER　FOR　ANNEXATIONS：　No；　sir；　I　have　no　information　＇Cheers　and　laughter。＇

The　House　then　went　into　Committee　of　Supply。



CHAPTER　XV。

BUT　MR。　COURTLAND　AH；　NEVER　MIND！

Mr。　Ayrton　entertained　his　daughter　with　a　description　of　the　scene　in　the　House　incidental　to　the　annihilation　of　Mr。　Apthomas。　He　rather　thought　himself　that　his　counter…question　had　been　neat。　He　had　been　congratulated　on　it　by　quite　a　number　of　his　friends　in　the　tea　room；　and　six　messages　had　been　delivered　to　him　by　representatives　of　the　press　to　the　effect　that　if　he　could　provide　them　with　the　exact　text　of　his　counter…question　they　would　be　greatly　obliged。

〃They　mean　to　report　it　in　full？〃　said　Phyllis。　She　had　an　ample　experience　of　the　decimation　of　his　questions　as　well　as　speeches　by　the　members　of　the　press　gallery。　They　had　reduced　it　to　a　science。

〃I　am　much　mistaken　if　they　don't　comment　on　it　as　well；〃　said　her　father。　〃Poor　Apthomas！　he　alone　sat　glum　and　mute　while　everyone　around　him　was　convulsed。〃

〃I　hope　that　Mr。　Courtland　will　not　feel　hurt　at　what　has　occurred；〃　said　Phyllis　doubtfully。

〃Mr。　Courtland？　Who　is　Mr。　Courtland？　What　has　Mr。　Courtland　to　say　to　the　matter？　What　business　is　it　of　his；　I　should　like　to　know。〃

〃Well；　considering　that　he　was　the　original　subject　of　the　questions；　though　I　must　confess　that　he　didn't　remain　long　so；　I　don't　think　it　altogether　unreasonable　to　wonder　what　he　will　think　about　the　whole　episode；〃　remarked　Phyllis。

〃Ah；　you　always　do　take　an　original　view　of　such　incidents；〃　said　her　father　indulgently。　〃It　is　so　like　a　woman　to　try　and　drag　poor　Courtland　into　the　business。　You　ought　to　know　better　than　to　fancy　that　any　interest　attaches　to　the　original　subject　of　a　question　in　the　House。　You'll　be　suggesting　next　that　some　credit　should　be　given　to　the　youths　who　pass　brilliant　examinations　in　things；　and　that　all　should　not　be　absorbed　by　their　grinders。〃

〃I'm　not　so　silly　as　that；　papa；〃　said　she。　〃No；　but　Mr。　Courtland　Ah；　never　mind。〃

He　did　not　mind。

It　so　happened；　however；　that　several　of　the　newspapers　which　commented　on　the　questions　and　counter…questions　the　next　day　introduced　the　name　of　Mr。　Herbert　Courtland　and　his　explorations；　though；　of　course；　most　attention　was　directed　to　what　Mr。　Ayrton's　party　called　the　brilliant；　and　the　other　party　the　flippant；　methods　of　Mr。　Ayrton。　His　reference　to　the　New　Guinea　pig　some　thought　a　trifle　too　personal　to　be　in　good　taste；　but　if　politicians　refrained　from　personalities　and　were　punctilious　in　matters　of　taste；　what　chance　would　they　have　of　〃scoring；〃　and　where　would　the　caricaturists　be？　The　reputation　of　a　politician　is　steadily　built　up　nowadays；　not　by　consistency；　certainly；　not　by　brilliant　rhetoric；　not　even　by　the　unscrupulous　exercise　of　a　faculty　for　organizing　impromptu　〃scenes；〃　but　by　the　wearing　of　a　necktie；　or　a　boot；　or　a　waistcoat　that　is　susceptible　of　caricature。　A　very　ordinary　young　man　has　before　now　been　lifted　into　fame　by　the　twists　of　his　mustache；　and　another　of　less　than　mediocre　ability　has　been　prevented　from　sinking　in　the　flood　of　forgetfulness　by　the　kindly　efforts　of　a　caricaturist　who　supported　him　by　a　simple　lock　on　his　scalp。　Thus　it　was　that　Mr。　Apthomas　found　himself　famous　before　a　week　had　passed；　through　the　circumstance　of　being　represented　in　the　leading　journal　of　caricature　as　a　guinea　pig；　flying；　with　the　spoil　of　bubble　boards　of　directors　under　his　arm；　from　the　attack　of　a　number　of　quaint…looking　mammals　wearing　collars　inscribed　〃ACCURACY；〃　〃CORRECT　BALANCE　SHEETS；〃　〃LEGITIMATE　SPECULATIONS；〃　and　other　phrases　that　suggested　the　need　for　the　old　guinea　pig　to　give　way　to　a　new　breed。　Underneath　the　picture　was　printed　a　portion　of　the　counter…question　of　Mr。　Ayrton；　and　opposite　to　it　were　some　verses　with　a　jingling　refrain　that　everyone　could　remember；　and　which　everyone　quoted　during　the　next　few　days。

The　firm　of　publishers　who　had　been　fortunate　enough　to　secure　the　issue　of　Mr。　Courtland's　new　book　were　delighted。　If　Mr。　Ayrton　could　only　have　seen　his　way　to　introduce　their　names　and　their　address　in　his　counter…question；　their　cup　of　happiness　would　have　been　complete；　they　said。　They　managed；　however；　to　induce　the　proprietors　of　a　young　lady　who　was　reputed　to　be　the　vulgarest　and　most　fascinating　of　all　music…hall　artistes；　to　introduce　Mr。　Courtland's　name　into　one　of　the　movable　stanzas　of　her　most　popular　lyric：　those　stanzas　which　are　changed　from　week　to　week；　so　as　to　touch　upon　the　topics　which　are　uppermost　in　the　mindswell；　not　exactly　the　mindsof　the　public。　It　is　scarcely　necessary　to　say　that　this　form　of　advertisement　is　worth　columns　of　the　daily　papers；　and　if　Mr。　Courtland　had　only　shown　himself　appreciative　of　his　best　interests　and　had　changed　the　title　of　his　book　to　〃The　Land　of　the　New　Guinea　Pig；〃　instead　of　〃The　Quest　of　the　Meteor…Bird；〃　they　would　have　gone　to　press　with　an　extra　thousand　copies。

But　even　as　it　was　they　knew　that　between　the　member　of　Parliament　and　the　music…hall　young　lady　the　sale　of　the　book　was　a　certainty。　Their　calculations　were　not　at　fault。　The　publishers　sent　a　liberal　subscription　to　the　Nonconformist　Eastern　Mission；　whose　agents　had　stimulated　public　curiosity　in　Mr。　Courtland's　new　book　by　suggesting　that　he　had　carried　out；　single…handed；　one　of　the　most　atrocious　massacres　of　recent　years；　and　a　diamond　brooch　to　the　music…hall　young　lady　who　had　so　kindly　worked　in　the　reference　to　the　book　after　dancing　one　of　her　most　daring　hornpipes　in　the　uniform　of　a　midshipman；　they　doubled　the　lines　of　their　announcements　in　the　advertising　columns　of　the　paper　that　had　issued　the　cartoon　of　the　New　Guinea　Pig；　and；　finally；　they　sent　a　presentation　copy　of　〃The　Quest　of　the　Meteor…Bird；〃　to　Mr。　Ayrton。

Then；　as　everyone　was　humming　the　lines　of　the　music…hall　young　lady：

　　〃From　the　land　of　far　New　Guinea　　　　Came　a　little　pig…a…ninny；〃

the　daily　papers　were　bound　to　give　two…column　reviews　to　the　book　on　the　day　of　its　publication；　and　as　the　rod　which　Moses　cast　down　before　Pharaoh　swallowed　up　the　wriggling　rods　of　the　magicians；　the　interest　attaching　to　Mr。　Courtland's　book　absorbed　that　which　attached　to　all　the　other　books　of　the　season；　including　〃Revised　Versions；〃　though　the　publishers　of　the　latter　moved　heaven　and　earth　（that　is　to　say；　the　bishop　and　the　people's　churchwarden）　to　get　the　Rev。　George　Holland　prosecuted。　If　either　had　been　susceptible　to　reason；　and　had　got　up　a　case　against　their　author；　the　publishers　declared　that　Mr。　Courtland's　book　would　not　have　had　a　chance　with　〃Revised　Versions。〃　To　be　sure　they　admitted　that　the　report　that　Mr。　Holland　had　been　thrown　over　by　the　lady　who　had　promised　to　marry　him　had　given　a　jerk　forward　to　the　sales；　but　when　Mr。　George　Holland　had　been　so　idiotically　blind　to　his　best　interests　and　（incidentally）　the　best　interests　of　his　publishers；　as　to　contradict　this　suggestion　of　incipient　martyrdom；　and　thus　an　excellent　advertisement　had　been　lost；　and　everyone　was；　in　a　week　or　two；　talking　about　〃The　Quest　of　the　Meteor…Bird；〃　while　only　a　few　continued　shaking　their　heads　over　〃Revised　Versions。〃

Meantime；　however；　Mr。　Courtland　thought　it　well　to　call　upon　Mr。　Ayrton　in　order　to　thank　him　for　his　kindness　in　replying　in　the　House　of　Commons　so　effectively　to　the　questions　put　to　the　various　ministers　by　Mr。　Apthomas；　and　Mr。　Ayrton　had　asked　Mr。　Courtland　to　dinner；　and　Mr。　Courtland　had　accepted　the　invitation；　Miss　Ayrton　begging　Mrs。　Linton　to　be　of　the　party；　and　Mrs。　Linton　yielding　to　her　petition　without　demur。



CHAPTER　XVI。

WOULD　IT　BE　WELL　WITH　MY　HUSBAND？

It　was　on　their　way　back　from　this　little　dinner…party　that　Mr。　Courtland　confessed　to　Ella　Linton　that　he　had　come　to　think　of　her　dearest　friend　as　a　most　charming　and　original　girl；　she　had　never　once　referred　to　his　achievements　in　New　Guinea；　nor　had　she　asked　him　to　write　his　name　in　her　birthday　book。　Yes；　she　was　not　as　other　girls。

〃I'm　so　delighted　to　hear　you　say　so　much；〃　said　Ella。　〃Oh；　Bertie！　why　not　make　yourself　happy　with　a　sweet　girl　such　as　she；　and　give　no　more　thought　to　such　absurdities　as　you　have　been　indulging　in？　Believe　me；　you　don't　know　so　well　as　I　do　in　what　direction　your　happiness　lies。〃

〃I　don't　know　anything　about　happiness；〃　said　he。　〃I　don't　seem　to　care　much；　either。　When　I　made　up　my　mind　to　find　the　meteor…bird；　don't　you　suppose　that　there　were　many　people　who　told　me　that；　even　if　it　was　found；　it　was　quite　unlikely　that　it　would　be　more　succulent　eating　than　a　Dorking　chicken？　I'm　sure　they　were　right。　You　see；　I　didn't　go　to　New　Guinea　in　search　of　a　barndoor　fowl。　I　don't　want　domestic　happiness；　I　don't　want　anything　but　youyou　are　my　meteor…　bird。　I　found；　after　my　first　visit　to　New　Guinea；　that　it　was　impossible　for　me　to　rest　until　I　had　found　the　meteor…bird。　I　have　found　that　it　is　impossible　for　me　to　live　without　you；　my　beloved。〃

〃You　will　have　to　learn　to　live　without　me；〃　said　she；　laying　her　hand　upon　his。　They　had　now　reached　her　house；　so　that　no　immediate　reply　was　possible。　He　did　not　attempt　to　make　a　reply　until　they　had　gone　into　a　small　drawing　room；　and　she　had　flung　off　her　wrap。　They　were　alone。

Then　he　knelt　on　the　rug　before　her　and　took　both　her　hands　in　his　own　a　hand　in　each　of　his　handsas　they　lay　on　her　dress。　His　face　was　close　to　hers：　she　was　in　a　low　chai