phyllis of philistia-第16章

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of　an　element　that　had　just　come　to　the　surface　to　still　further　complicate　the　course　of　politics。　This　was　the　Nonconformist　Consciencehitherto　a　/quantite　negligeable/　in　the　calculations　of　the　leaders；　but　now　one　that　it　appeared　absolutely　necessary　to　take　into　account　as　a　factor。　To　be　sure；　there　were　a　good　many　people　who　put　their　tongues　in　their　cheeks　when　any　mention　was　made　of　the　Nonconformist　Conscience：　they　said　it　was　no　more　to　be　taken　seriously　than　the　Spector　on　the　Brocken　or　the　Athanasian　Creed。　It　was　only　the　trick　of　an　electioneering　agent　desirous　of　escaping　from　an　untenable　position。

There　were　other　persons；　however　（mostly　Nonconformists）；　who　were　found　ready　to　declare　that　the　Nonconformist　Conscience　was　a　Great　and　Living　Truth。　The　only　point　upon　which　statesmen　of　all　parties　were　agreed　was　that　it　was　worth　purchasing。　The　Nonconformists　themselves；　upon　whom　the　Great　and　Living　Truth　was　sprung；　had　no　notion　at　first　that　it　could　be　turned　into　a　negotiable　security　occupying　as　high　a　place　in　the　market　as；　say；　Argentine　bonds。　But　it　did　not　take　them　very　long　to　find　out　that　even　an　abstraction　such　as　this　could　be　turned　to　good　account　by　discreet　maneuvering。　Truth　sometimes　is　heard　on　an　election　platform；　and　yet　truth　is　but　an　abstract　quality。　Why；　then　should　not　a　Great　and　Living　Truth　become　a　regular　gold　mine　to　its　inventor？　It　was　as　great　an　invention　as　the　art　of　electroplating；　which　it　closely　resembled；　and　a　quite　as　nice　thing　could　be　made　out　of　it　by　a　little　dexterous　manipulation。　If　the　conscience　is　silver；　the　Nonconformist　Conscience　is　at　least　electroplate　of　a　first…class　quality；　it　was　argued；　and　a　political　manifesto；　which　was　practically　a　financial　prospectus；　was　issued　with　a　view　of　floating　the　Nonconformist　Conscience　Company；　Limited。

English　politics　cannot　by　any　possibility　be　regarded　as　an　exact　science；　and　thus　it　was　that　all　political　parties　were　at　this　time　making　bids　for　shares　in　the　enterprise。　The　leaders　of　one　party；　in　fact；　expressed　themselves　ready　to　buy　up　the　whole　concern；　and　they　actually　tendered　bills　payable　at　twelve　months　for　all　the　vendors'　interest；　and　it　was　only　when　these　bills　became　due　and　were　returned　dishonored　that　the　shadowy　character　of　the　transaction　was　made　plain；　and　the　country　was　convulsed　at　the　disclosure　of　the　fact　that　the　vendors　had　disposed　of　a　perfectly　worthless　invention；　and　that　the　purchasers　had　paid　for　it　by　promises　that　were　equally　worthless。

All　this　happened　later；　however；　when　the　fuss　was　made　about　the　atrocities　by　an　explorer　in　New　Guinea；　and　Mr。　Ayrton　was　contemplating　a　counter　question　that　should　cast　ridicule　upon　the　missionaries　and　their　champion；　he　was　given　to　understand　by　the　leaders　of　his　party；　who；　it　was　believed；　had　a　small　parcel　of　baronetcies　done　up　in　official　twine；　with　blank　spaces　for　the　name　and　address　in　each；　awaiting　distribution　at　the　first　change　of　Government；　that　he　must　take　no　step　that　might　jeopardize　the　relations　of　the　party　with　the　vendors　of　the　Nonconformists　Conscience。　The　/Spiritual　Aneroid/　was　the　leading　Nonconformist　organ；　and　it　would　not　do　to　sneer　at　the　missionaries　whom　it　supported。　It　would　be　better　that　all　the　explorers　who　had　ever　risked　their　lives　on　behalf　of　civilization　should　go　by　the　board　than　that　a　single　vote　should　be　lost　to　the　party；　he　was　assured　by　the　Senior　Whip。

This　was　rather　irritating　to　the　artist　in　phrases；　because　it　stood　to　reason　that　the　majority　of　his　phrases　were　calculated　to　be　hurtful　to　his　opponents。　He　was　thus　quite　elated　when　he　came　upon　something　which　would；　he　felt　sure；　call　comment　in　the　press　at　the　expense　of　the　member　from　Wales　without　casting　any　slight　upon　Nonconformist　Missionary　enterprise。

He　read　out　the　thing　to　his　daughter；　and　he　was　surprised　to　find　that　she　was　not　appreciative　of　its　unique　charm。　This　was　rather　too　bad；　he　felt；　considering　that　it　was　she　who　had　enlisted　his　services　in　this　particular　matter。

〃I　don't　think　Mr。　Courtland　wants　anybody　to　take　his　part　in　Parliament　or　out　of　it；〃　said　she。　〃And　that's　why　I　think　it　would　be　better　to　let　that　Mr。　Apthomas　ask　his　question　without　interruption。　What　can　the　Minister　of　Annexation　say　except　that　he　has　no　information　on　the　subject；　and　that　if　he　had　he　could　not　interfere；　as　he　had　no　jurisdiction　on　the　Fly　River？〃

〃That　is　what　he　will　reply　as　a　matter　of　course；〃　said　her　father。　〃But　that　will　not　prevent　the　newspapers　that　are　on　the　side　of　Wales　and　the　missionaries　from　saying　what　they　please　in　the　way　of　comment　on　the　atrocities　in　New　Guinea。〃

〃Mr。　Courtland　will　not　mind　whatever　they　may　say；〃　cried　Phyllis。

〃That　was　the　view　I　took　of　the　matter　in　regard　to　Mr。　Courtland's　attitude　when　you　mentioned　it　to　me　at　first；〃　said　he。　〃I　didn't　suppose　that　he　was　the　man　to　be　broken　down　because　some　foolish　paper　attacks　him；　but　you　were　emphatic　in　your　denunciation　of　the　injustice　that　would　be　liable　to　be　done　if〃

〃Oh；　I　had　only　spoken　for　about　half　an　hour　to　Mr。　Courtland　then；〃　said　Phyllis。　〃I　think　I　know　him　better　now。〃

〃Yes；　you　have　spoken　with　him　for　another　half　hour；　you　therefore　know　him　twice　as　well　as　you　did；〃　remarked　her　father。　〃I　wonder　if　he　admitted　to　you　having　done　all　that　he　was　accused　of　doing。〃

He　saw　in　a　moment　from　the　little　uneasy　movement　of　her　eyes　that　he　had　made　an　excellent　guess　at　the　general　result　of　the　conversation　at　Mrs。　Linton's　little　lunch。　He　had　not　yet　succeeded　in　obtaining　any　details　from　his　daughter　regarding　her　visit　to　Ella。　She　had　merely　told　him　that　Ella　had　kept　her　to　lunch；　and　that　Mr。　Courtland　had　been　there　also。

〃Yes。　I　do　believe　that　he　admitted　everything；〃　he　continued；　with　a　laugh　as　he　thought　how　clever　he　was。　（He　had　frequent　reasons　for　laughing　that　laugh。）

〃No；〃　said　Phyllis　doubtfully；　〃he　did　not　admit　everything。〃

〃There　was　some　reservation？　Perhaps　it　was　melinite　that　he　employed　for　the　massacre　of　the　innocents　of　New　Guinea；　not　dynamite。〃

〃No；　it　was　dynamite。　But　the　natives　had　stolen　it　from　his　steam　launch　and　they　exploded　it　themselves。〃

Mr。　Ayrton　lay　back　in　his　chair　convulsed　with　laughter。

〃And　that　is　the　true　story　of　the　dynamite　massacre？〃　he　cried。　〃That　is　how　it　comes　that；　in　the　words　of　the　/Aneroid/；　the　works　of　evangelization　on　Nonconformist　principles　is　likely　to　be　retarded　for　some　time？　The　missionaries　are　quite　right　too。　And　what　about　his　miraclesthey　suggested　a　miracle；　didn't　they？〃

〃Oh；　that　was　some　foolishness　about　setting　spirits　of　wine　on　fire；〃　said　Phyllis。　〃The　natives　thought　that　it　was　water；　you　know。〃

Mr。　Ayrton　laughed　more　heartily　than　before。

〃That　is　the　crowning　infamy；〃　he　cried。　〃My　dear　Phyllis；　it　would　be　quite　impossible　to　allow　so　delicious　a　series　of　missionary　muddles　to　pass　unnoticed。　I　think　I　see　my　way　clearly　in　the　matter。〃

She　knew　that　he　did。　She　knew　that　he　regarded　most　incidents　in　the　political　world　merely　as　feeders　to　his　phrase…making　capacity。　She　knew　that　it　would　be　impossible　to　repress　him　now　in　the　matter　of　Courtland　and　the　missionaries；　she　fully　realized　the　feelings　of　Frankenstein。

Only　the　weakest　protest　did　she　make　against　her　father's　intended　action；　and　thus　when　the　day　came　for　Mr。　Apthomas'　question；　that　gentleman　from　Wales　inquired；　〃If　Her　Majesty's　Minister　for　Annexations　could　give　the　House　any　information　regarding　the　so…　called　explorations　of　Mr。　Herbert　Courtland　in　the　island　of　New　Guinea；　particularly　in　respect　of　a　massacre　of　natives　by　dynamite　in　the　region　of　the　Fly　River；　and　if　it　was　true　that　the　gentleman　just　named　had　permitted　himself　to　be　worshiped　as　a　god　by　the　aborigines　of　another　region；　and　if　Her　Majesty's　Minister　for　Domestic　Affairs　was　prepared　to　say　that　it　was　legal　for　one　of　Her　Majesty's　subjects　to　assume　the　privileges　and　functions　of　a　god；　and　if　the　First　Lord　of　the　Treasury　was　prepared　to　communicate　to　the　House　what　course；　if　any；　Her　Majesty's　government　meant　to　adopt　with　a　view　to　the　prevention　of　similar　outrages　in　the　same　region　in　the　future？〃

Mr。　Ayrton　rose　before　the　Minister　of　the　Annexation　Department　had　quite　concluded　his　yawn；　and　said　he　trusted　that　he　was　in　order　（cries　of　〃Yes；　yes；〃　from　those　members　who　knew　that　the　honorable　member　had　an　enlivening　phrase　which　he　wanted　to　get　rid　of）　in　inquiring；　in　connection　with　the　same　subject；　if　the　right　honorable　gentleman　could　inform　the　House　if　there　was　any　truth　in　the　report　current　in　financial　and　other　circles　that　the　object　of　the　explorations　of　Mr。　Herbert　Courtland　was　the　discovery　of　a　small　mammal　of　the　porcine　tribe；　and　if　one　of　the　Law　Officers　of　the　Crown　was　prepared　to　assure　the　House　that　it　would　be　contrary　to　the　provisions　of　the　Companies　Act；　and　the　Companies　Act　Amendment　Act；　to　permit　this　New　Guinea　pig　to　assume　the　functions　of　the　director　of　Limited　Liability　Companies；　whose　directorate　was　largely　composed　of　members　of　both　Houses　of　Parliament　（great　laughter　from　honorable　gentlemen　who　were　aware　that　the　Mr。　Apthomas　had　no　income　beyond　the　remuneration　he　received　as　a　director　of　companies）；　and　if　Her　Majesty's　Minister　for　Agriculture　was　prepared　to　state　that　it　was　the　intention　of　Her　Majesty's　Government　to　prohibit　the　introduction　of；　at　any　rate　the　males　of　the　mammals　just　referred　to；　considering　the　rapid　increase　in　representative　assemblies　of　the　English　or　Welsh　bore　（Great　laughter；　which　prevented　the　concluding　words　of　the　sentence　being　audible　in　the　gallery。）

THE　SPEAKER：　Order！　order！　The　honorable　member　for　Hazelborough　must　confine　himself　strictly　to　the　issued　raised　by　the　honorable　gentleman　from　Wales。　The　honorable　member　for　Hazelborough　is　only　permitted　to　follow　the　honorable　gentleman　from　Wales　by　the　indulgence　of　the　House。

MR。　AYRTON：　Sir；　I　bow　to　the　ruling　of　the　chair；　and　will　continue　by　inquiring　if　Her　Majesty's　Minister　for　the　Public　Worship　Department　can　state　to　the　House　if　it　is　true　that　a　newspaper　published　within　the　Principality　of　Wales　recently　made　the　announcement　that　the　honorable　member　who　had　just　made　inquiries　regarding　the　exploration　of　Mr。　Herbert　Courtland；　was　the　idol　of　his　constituents　＇Laughter；　and　cries　of　〃Order！〃＇；　and　if　the　right　honorable　gentleman　is　prepared　to　state　that　the　provisions　of　the　Idolatry　Act　are

THE　SPEAKER：　The　honorable　member　is　clearly　out　of　order。　The　question　of　idolatry　in　Wales　is　not　at　present　before　the　House。

MR。　AYRTON：　Sir；　I　give　notice　that　next　session　I　shall　move　a　resolution　regarding　idolatry　in　the　Principality　of　Wales　＇Laughter　and　cheers。＇

The　minister　for　Annexation　was　about　to　rise　when

MR。　MUDLARKY　（Ballynamuck）　asked　if　the　introduction　of　the　guinea　pigs　would　be　prejudicial　to　the　interests　of　the　higher　and　nobler　Irish　animal　who；　he　would　remind　the　Minister　for　Public　Worship；　was　not　to　be　confounded　with　the　herd　whose　example　was　clearly　emulated　by　the　present　gover