desperate remedies-第16章

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the　spot。　　But　a　minute　ago；　and　you　seemed　to　me　like　a　fresh
spring　meadownow　you　seem　a　dusty　highway。'

'O　no；　no！'　　Cytherea　was　not　weak　enough　to　shed　tears　except　on
extraordinary　occasions；　but　she　was　fain　to　begin　sobbing　now。　　She
wished　Miss　Aldclyffe　would　go　to　her　own　room；　and　leave　her　and
her　treasured　dreams　alone。　　This　vehement　imperious　affection　was
in　one　sense　soothing；　but　yet　it　was　not　of　the　kind　that
Cytherea's　instincts　desired。　　Though　it　was　generous；　it　seemed
somewhat　too　rank　and　capricious　for　endurance。

'Well；'　said　the　lady　in　continuation；　'who　is　he？'

Her　companion　was　desperately　determined　not　to　tell　his　name：　　she
too　much　feared　a　taunt　when　Miss　Aldclyffe's　fiery　mood　again　ruled
her　tongue。

'Won't　you　tell　me？　not　tell　me　after　all　the　affection　I　have
shown？'

'I　will；　perhaps；　another　day。'

'Did　you　wear　a　hat　and　white　feather　in　Budmouth　for　the　week　or
two　previous　to　your　coming　here？'

'Yes。'

'Then　I　have　seen　you　and　your　lover　at　a　distance！　　He　rowed　you
round　the　bay　with　your　brother。'

'Yes。'

'And　without　your　brotherfie！　　There；　there；　don't　let　that　little
heart　beat　itself　to　death：　　throb；　throb：　　it　shakes　the　bed；　you
silly　thing。　　I　didn't　mean　that　there　was　any　harm　in　going　alone
with　him。　　I　only　saw　you　from　the　Esplanade；　in　common　with　the
rest　of　the　people。　　I　often　run　down　to　Budmouth。　　He　was　a　very
good　figure：　　now　who　was　he？'

'II　won't　tell；　madamI　cannot　indeed！'

'Won't　tellvery　well；　don't。　　You　are　very　foolish　to　treasure　up
his　name　and　image　as　you　do。　　Why；　he　has　had　loves　before　you；
trust　him　for　that；　whoever　he　is；　and　you　are　but　a　temporary　link
in　a　long　chain　of　others　like　you：　　who　only　have　your　little　day
as　they　have　had　theirs。'

''Tisn't　true！　'tisn't　true！　'tisn't　true！'　cried　Cytherea　in　an
agony　of　torture。　　'He　has　never　loved　anybody　else；　I　knowI　am
sure　he　hasn't。'

Miss　Aldclyffe　was　as　jealous　as　any　man　could　have　been。　　She
continued

'He　sees　a　beautiful　face　and　thinks　he　will　never　forget　it；　but　in
a　few　weeks　the　feeling　passes　off；　and　he　wonders　how　he　could　have
cared　for　anybody　so　absurdly　much。'

'No；　no；　he　doesn'tWhat　does　he　do　when　he　has　thought　thatCome；
tell　metell　me！'

'You　are　as　hot　as　fire；　and　the　throbbing　of　your　heart　makes　me
nervous。　　I　can't　tell　you　if　you　get　in　that　flustered　state。'

'Do；　do　tellO；　it　makes　me　so　miserable！　but　tell…come　tell　me！'

'Ahthe　tables　are　turned　now；　dear！'　she　continued；　in　a　tone
which　mingled　pity　with　derision

　　　　　'〃Love's　passions　shall　rock　thee
　　　　　　　As　the　storm　rocks　the　ravens　on　high；
　　　　　　　Bright　reason　will　mock　thee
　　　　　　　Like　the　sun　from　a　wintry　sky。〃

'What　does　he　do　next？Why；　this　is　what　he　does　next：　　ruminate　on
what　he　has　heard　of　women's　romantic　impulses；　and　how　easily　men
torture　them　when　they　have　given　way　to　those　feelings；　and　have
resigned　everything　for　their　hero。　　It　may　be　that　though　he　loves
you　heartily　nowthat　is；　as　heartily　as　a　man　canand　you　love
him　in　return；　your　loves　may　be　impracticable　and　hopeless；　and　you
may　be　separated　for　ever。　　You；　as　the　weary；　weary　years　pass　by
will　fade　and　fadebright　eyes　WILL　fadeand　you　will　perhaps　then
die　earlytrue　to　him　to　your　latest　breath；　and　believing　him　to
be　true　to　the　latest　breath　also；　whilst　he；　in　some　gay　and　busy
spot　far　away　from　your　last　quiet　nook；　will　have　married　some
dashing　lady；　and　not　purely　oblivious　of　you；　will　long　have　ceased
to　regret　youwill　chat　about　you；　as　you　were　in　long　past　years
will　say；　〃Ah；　little　Cytherea　used　to　tie　her　hair　like　thatpoor
innocent　trusting　thing；　it　was　a　pleasant　useless　idle　dreamthat
dream　of　mine　for　the　maid　with　the　bright　eyes　and　simple；　silly
heart；　but　I　was　a　foolish　lad　at　that　time。〃　　Then　he　will　tell　the
tale　of　all　your　little　Wills　and　Wont's　and　particular　ways；　and　as
he　speaks；　turn　to　his　wife　with　a　placid　smile。'

'It　is　not　true！　　He　can't；　he　c…can't　be　s…so　crueland　you　are
cruel　to　meyou　are；　you　are！'　　She　was　at　last　driven　to
desperation：　　her　natural　common　sense　and　shrewdness　had　seen　all
through　the　piece　how　imaginary　her　emotions　wereshe　felt　herself
to　be　weak　and　foolish　in　permitting　them　to　rise；　but　even　then　she
could　not　control　them：　　be　agonized　she　must。　　She　was　only
eighteen；　and　the　long　day's　labour；　her　weariness；　her　excitement；
had　completely　unnerved　her；　and　worn　her　out：　　she　was　bent　hither
and　thither　by　this　tyrannical　working　upon　her　imagination；　as　a
young　rush　in　the　wind。　　She　wept　bitterly。　　'And　now　think　how　much
I　like　you；'　resumed　Miss　Aldclyffe；　when　Cytherea　grew　calmer。　　'I
shall　never　forget　you　for　anybody　else；　as　men　donever。　　I　will
be　exactly　as　a　mother　to　you。　　Now　will　you　promise　to　live　with　me
always；　and　always　be　taken　care　of；　and　never　deserted？'

'I　cannot。　　I　will　not　be　anybody's　maid　for　another　day　on　any
consideration。'

'No；　no；　no。　　You　shan't　be　a　lady's…maid。　　You　shall　be　my
companion。　　I　will　get　another　maid。'

Companionthat　was　a　new　idea。　　Cytherea　could　not　resist　the
evidently　heartfelt　desire　of　the　strange…tempered　woman　for　her
presence。　　But　she　could　not　trust　to　the　moment's　impulse。

'I　will　stay；　I　think。　　But　do　not　ask　for　a　final　answer　to…night。'

'Never　mind　now；　then。　　Put　your　hair　round　your　mamma's　neck；　and
give　me　one　good　long　kiss；　and　I　won't　talk　any　more　in　that　way
about　your　lover。　　After　all；　some　young　men　are　not　so　fickle　as
others；　but　even　if　he's　the　ficklest；　there　is　consolation。　　The
love　of　an　inconstant　man　is　ten　times　more　ardent　than　that　of　a
faithful　manthat　is；　while　it　lasts。'

Cytherea　did　as　she　was　told；　to　escape　the　punishment　of　further
talk；　flung　the　twining　tresses　of　her　long；　rich　hair　over　Miss
Aldclyffe's　shoulders　as　directed；　and　the　two　ceased　conversing；
making　themselves　up　for　sleep。　　Miss　Aldclyffe　seemed　to　give
herself　over　to　a　luxurious　sense　of　content　and　quiet；　as　if　the
maiden　at　her　side　afforded　her　a　protection　against　dangers　which
had　menaced　her　for　years；　she　was　soon　sleeping　calmly。

2。　　TWO　TO　FIVE　A。M。

With　Cytherea　it　was　otherwise。　　Unused　to　the　place　and
circumstances；　she　continued　wakeful；　ill　at　ease；　and　mentally
distressed。　　She　withdrew　herself　from　her　companion's　embrace；
turned　to　the　other　side；　and　endeavoured　to　relieve　her　busy　brain
by　looking　at　the　window…blind；　and　noticing　the　light　of　the　rising
moonnow　in　her　last　quartercreep　round　upon　it：　　it　was　the
light　of　an　old　waning　moon　which　had　but　a　few　days　longer　to　live。

The　sight　led　her　to　think　again　of　what　had　happened　under　the　rays
of　the　same　month's　moon；　a　little　before　its　full；　the　ecstatic
evening　scene　with　Edward：　　the　kiss；　and　the　shortness　of　those
happy　momentsmaiden　imagination　bringing　about　the　apotheosis　of　a
status　quo　which　had　had　several　unpleasantnesses　in　its　earthly
reality。

But　sounds　were　in　the　ascendant　that　night。　　Her　ears　became　aware
of　a　strange　and　gloomy　murmur。

She　recognized　it：　　it　was　the　gushing　of　the　waterfall；　faint　and
low；　brought　from　its　source　to　the　unwonted　distance　of　the　House
by　a　faint　breeze　which　made　it　distinct　and　recognizable　by　reason
of　the　utter　absence　of　all　disturbing　sounds。　　The　groom's
melancholy　representation　lent　to　the　sound　a　more　dismal　effect
than　it　would　have　had　of　its　own　nature。　　She　began　to　fancy　what
the　waterfall　must　be　like　at　that　hour；　under　the　trees　in　the
ghostly　moonlight。　　Black　at　the　head；　and　over　the　surface　of　the
deep　cold　hole　into　which　it　fell；　white　and　frothy　at　the　fall；
black　and　white；　like　a　pall　and　its　border；　sad　everywhere。

She　was　in　the　mood　for　sounds　of　every　kind　now；　and　strained　her
ears　to　catch　the　faintest；　in　wayward　enmity　to　her　quiet　of　mind。
Another　soon　came。

The　second　was　quite　different　from　the　firsta　kind　of
intermittent　whistle　it　seemed　primarily：　　no；　a　creak；　a　metallic
creak；　ever　and　anon；　like　a　plough；　or　a　rusty　wheelbarrow；　or　at
least　a　wheel　of　some　kind。　　Yes；　it　was；　a　wheelthe　water…wheel
in　the　shrubbery　by　the　old　manor…house；　which　the　coachman　had　said
would　drive　him　mad。

She　determined　not　to　think　any　more　of　these　gloomy　things；　but　now
that　she　had　once　noticed　the　sound　there　was　no　sealing　her　ears　to
it。　　She　could　not　help　timing　its　creaks；　and　putting　on　a　dread
expectancy　just　before　the　end　of　each　half…minute　that　brought
them。　　To　imagine　the　inside　of　the　engine…house；　whence　these
noises　proceeded；　was　now　a　necessity。　　No　window；　but　crevices　in
the　door；　through　which；　probably；　the　moonbeams　streamed　in　the
most　attenuated　and　skeleton…like　rays；　striking　sharply　upon
portions　of　wet　rusty　cranks　and　chains；　a　glistening　wheel；　turning
incessantly；　labouring　in　the　dark　like　a　captive　starving　in　a
dungeon；　and　instead　of　a　floor　below；　gurgling　water；　which　on
account　of　the　darkness　could　only　be　heard；　water　which　laboured　up
dark　pipes　almost　to　where　she　lay。

She　shivered。　　Now　she　was　determined　to　go　to　sleep；　there　could　be
nothing　else　left　to　be　heard　or　to　imagineit　was　horrid　that　her
imagination　should　be　so　restless。　　Yet　just　for　an　instant　before
going　to　sleep　she　would　think　thissuppose　another　sound　SHOULD
comejust　suppose　it　should！　　Before　the　thought　had　well　passed
through　her　brain；　a　third　sound　came。

The　third　was　a　very　soft　gurgle　or　rattleof　a　strange　and
abnormal　kindyet　a　sound　she　had　heard　before　at　some　past　period
of　her　lifewhen；　she　could　not　recollect。　　To　make　it　the　more
disturbing；　it　seemed　to　be　almost　close　to　hereither　close
outside　the　window；　close　under　the　floor；　or　close　above　the
ceiling。　　The　accidental　fact　of　its　coming　so　immediately　upon　the
heels　of　her　supposition；　told　so　powerfully　upon　her　excited　nerves
that　she　jumped　up　in　the　bed。　　The　same　instant；　a　little　dog　in
some　room　near；　having　probably　heard　the　same　noise；　set　up　a　low
whine。　　The　watch…dog　in　the　yard；　hearing　the　moan　of　his
associate；　began　to　howl　loudly　and　distinctly。　　His　melancholy
notes　were　taken　up　directly　afterwards　by　the　dogs　in　the　kennel　a
long　way　off；　in　every　variety　of　wail。

One　logical　thought　alone　was　able　to　enter　her　flurried　brain。　　The
little　dog　that　began　the　whining　must　have　heard　the　other　two
sounds　even　better　than　herself。　　He　had　taken　no　notice　of　them；
but　he　had　taken　notice　of　the　third。　　The　third；　then；　was　an
unusual　sound。

It　was　not　like　water；　it　was　not　like　wind；　it　was　not　the　night…
jar；　it　was　not　a　clock；　nor　a　rat；　nor　a　person　snoring。

She　crept　under　the　clothes；　and　flung　her　arms　tightly　round　Miss
Aldclyffe；　as　if　for　protection。　　Cytherea　perceived　that　the　lady's
late　peaceful　warmth　had　given　place　to　a　sweat。　　At　the　maiden's
touch；　Miss　Aldclyffe　awoke　with　a　low　scream。

She　remembered　her　position　instantly。　　'O　such　a　terrible　dream！'
she　cried；　in　a　hurried　whisper；　holding　to　Cytherea　in　her　turn；
'and　your　touch　was　the　end　of　it。　　It　was　dreadful。　　Time；　with　his
wings；　hour…glass；　and　scythe；　coming　nearer　and　nearer　to　me
grinnin