a face illumined-第79章

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differently。　　And　you　shall　learn　it　now。　　You　once　told　me　of　a

wicked　and　desperate　purpose　to　which　you　were　driven　by　the　wrong

of　others。　　Your　sin　seems　to　me　a　deed　of　light　compared　with

the　act　I　have　been　led　to　commit；　under　the　guidance　of　my　proud

reason；　my　superior　judgement；　my　cool；　well…balanced　natureinfernally

cool　it　was；　indeed！　　Pardon　me；　but　I　am　beside　myself　with　rage

and　self…loathing。　　True；　I　have　not　been　intentionally　false；

but　there　are　circumstances　in　which　folly；　weakness；　and　stupid

blundering　are　nearly　as　bad；　and　the　results　quite　as　bad。　　What

can　you　say　of　the　man　who　pays　open　suit　and　makes　a　distinct　offer

and　pledge　to　a　lady；　and　the　retreats　from　that　suit　and　breaks

that　pledge；　and　through　no　fault　whatever　in　the　lady　herself？

What　can　you　say　of　that　man　when　the　lady　is　a　poor　and　orphaned

girl；　whom　any　one　with　a　spark　of　honor　would　shield　with　his　life；

but　that　he　is　a　base；　fickle　wretch；　who　deserves　the　contempt　of

all　good　men　and　women；　and　that　he　ought　to　beas　he　shall　bea

vagabond　on　the　face　of　the　earth？〃



Ida　had　buried　her　face　in　her　hands　as　she　learned　how　thoroughly

Van　Berg　had　committed　himself　to　Miss　Burton；　and　the　artist

concluded；　abruptly：　　〃One　thing　is　certain；　he　has　no　right　to　be

here。　　I　shall　not　wait　and　see　your　look　of　scorn；　orworseof

pity；　for　I　could　not　endure　it；〃　and　he　snatched　up　his　sketch…book

and　was　about　to　hasten　from　the　place；　when　Ida　sprang　forward

and　said　passionately：



〃Wait。　　This　is　all　wrong。　　Answer　me　thiswhen　you　discovered

the　awful　crime；　which　in　heart　I　had　already　committed；　how　did

you　treat　me？〃



〃Your　purpose　was　wicked；　but　not　base。〃



〃You　have　not　intended　to　be　either　base　or　wicked；〃　she　began。



〃Hush！〃　he　interrupted　sternly；　〃you　shall　not　palliate　my　weakness

by　smooth　words；　and　to　a　man；　weakness　and　stupidity；　in　some

circumstances；　are　more　contemptible　than　crime。　　Oh；　how　I　envy

Stanton！　　His　course　has　been　straightforward；　noble；　regalI　have

acted　like　one　of　the　'canaille。'〃



〃You　deeply　regret　then；　that　your　feelings　have　so　changed　towards

Miss　Burton？〃　said　Ida；　with　her　eyes　again　fastened　upon　his　face。



〃I　do　not　think　my　feelings　have　changed　towards　her；〃　he　replied；

〃she　is　admirable；　perfect；　and　I　honor　her　from　the　depths　of　my

heart。　　Don't　you　see？　　I　mistook　my　deep　respect；　sympathy；　and

admiration　for　something　more；　and　I　smiled　complacently　in　my

superior　way　and　flattered　myself　that　it　was　in　this　eminently

well…bred　and　rational　manner　that　Harold　Van　Berg　would　pay　his

addresses　to　a　lady；　and　that　Stanton's　absorbing　passion　was　only

the　result　of　ungoverned；　unbalanced　natureaccursed　prig　that　I

was！　　While　in　this　very　complacent　and　superior　condition　of　mind

I　committed　myself　to　a　course　that　I　cannot　carry　out；　and　yet

my　failure　to　do　so　slays　my　honor　and　self…respect。　　Now；　I　have

been　as　explicit　with　you　as　you　were　with　me；　and　with　what　you

have　seen　of　yourself；　you　know　the　whole　miserable　truth。　　By　a

strange　fate　we　who　only　met　a　few　months　since　have　come　to　share

a　common；　very　sad　knowledge。　　The　memory　of　your　own　past；　and

I　suppose；　your　Christian　faith　also；　have　made　you　very　merciful

and　generous；　but　I　shall　tax　these　qualities　no　further。〃



〃What　will　you　do；　Mr。　Van　Berg？〃　Ida　asked　in　sudden　dread。



〃I　shall　never　look　Miss　Burton　in　the　face　again；　and　after　I　have

written　to　her　simply　and　briefly　what　I　have　told　you；　her　regret

will　be　small　indeed。　　Good…by；　Miss　Mayhew。　　If　I　stay　any　longer

I　may　speak　words　to　you　that　would　be　insults；　coming　from　me。〃



〃Stay；〃　she　said；　earnestly；　〃I　have　something　very　important　to

say　to　you。〃



He　hesitated　and　looked　at　her　in　strong　surprise。



〃Give　me　a　few　minutes　to　think；〃　she　pleaded；　and　he　saw；　from　the

quick　rise　and　fall　of　her　bosom　and　the　nervous　clasp　of　her　hands；

that　she　was　deeply　agitated。　　She　turned　from　him　and　looked

wistfully　at　the　young　tree　on　which　she　had　inscribed　her　name　the

day　she　had　promised　Mr。　Eltinge　to　receive　all　heavenly　influences

and　guidance。　　She　soon　lifted　her　eyes　above　the　tree　and　her　lips

moved　in　earnest　prayer　as　ever　came　from　a　human　heart。　　She　was

facing　the　sorest　temptation　of　her　life；　for　she　had　only　to　be

silent　now；　she　believed；　and　the　success　of　her　efforts　to　win

him　from　Jennie　Burton　would　be　complete。　　If　left　to　himself　in

this　wild；　distracted　mood　he　would　indeed　break　every　tie　that

bound　him　to　her　rival；　but　after　time　had　blunted　his　poignant

self…condemnation　he　would　inevitably　come　back　to　her。　　The

conscience　whispered：　　〃Who　forgave　you　here？　　What　did　you　promise

here？　　What　does　that　tree　mean　with　its　branches　reaching　out

towards　heaven？　　What　would　you　think　of　Jennie　Burton　were　she

trying　to　win　him　from　you？〃



〃O　Friend　of　the　weak！　be　though　my　strength　in　this　moment　of

desperate　need；〃　she　sighed。



Van　Berg　watched　her　with　increasing　wonder；　and　his　heart　beat

thick　and　fast　as　she　at　last　turned　to　him　with　an　expression　such

as　he　never　had　seen　before　on　a　human　face。　　Was　it　the　autumn

sunlight　that　illumined　her　features？　　He　learned　eventually　that

it　was　the　spiritual　radiance　of　the　noblest　self…sacrifice　of

which　a　woman　is　capable。



〃Mr。　Van　Berg；〃　she　said；　in　tones　that　were　quiet　and　firm；　〃please

take　Mr。　Eltinge's　seat；　for　I　wish　to　speak　to　you　as　a　friend。〃



He　obeyed　mechanically；　without　removing　his　eyes　from　her　face。



〃I　once　took　counsel　of　passion　and　despair；〃　she　resumed；　〃and　you

know　what　might　have　resulted；　but　on　this　spot　God　forgave　me　and

I　promised　to　try　to　do　right。　　With　shame　I　confess　I　have　not

fully　kept　that　promise；　but　I　shall　try　to　do　so　hereafter；　be

the　consequences　what　they　may。　　Pardon　me　for　speaking　so　plainly；

but　you　are　now　taking　counsel　of　passion　and　turning　your　back

on　duty。　　While　almost　insane　from　self…reproach　and　wounded　pride

you　are　taking　steps　that　may　blast　your　own　life　and　the　lives

of　others。　　To　my　mind　there　is　an　infinite　distance　between　the

error　you　naturally　fell　into　in　view　of　Miss　Burton's　loveliness

of　character　and　any　base　intent；　but　even　if　I　should　share　in

your　harsh　judgementwhich　I　never　canI　would　still　say　that　you

cannot　help　the　past；　and　you　are　now　bound　by　all　that's　sacred　to

ask　only　what　is　right；　and　to　do　that　at　every　cost　to　yourself。

You　are　pledged　to　Miss　Burton；　and　you　must　make　good　your　pledge。〃



〃What！　　I　go　to　that　snow…white　maiden　with　a　lie　on　my　lips！〃　he

exclaimed　indignantly。



〃No！　go　to　her　with　truth　on　your　lips　and　in　your　heart；　except

as　in　unselfish　loyalty　to　her　and　to　your　word　you　may　hide　some

truth　that　would　give　her　pain。　　Mr。　Van　Berg；　you　word　is　pledged。

You　have　won　her　love　and　this　is　your　only　honorable　course。　　Thus

far　you　have　not　done　her　intentional　wrong；　but　if　you　rush　away

from　duty　now　in　cowardly　flight　you　will　do　her　a　bitter　and　fatal

wrong；　for　she　loves　you　as　only　few　women　can　love。　　She　has　grown

wan　and　pale　in　your　absence；　and　it　touched　me　to　the　heart　to　see

her　yesterday；　though　she　made　such　brave　efforts　to　be　cheerful

and　to　encourage　father。　　O　God；　forgive　me　that　IGo　to　her　when

you　have　become　calmyour　true　self。　　Love　like　hers　will　take

what　you　can　give　till　you　can　give　more；　and　surely　one　so　lovely

will　soon　win　all。　　If　ever　I　have　seen　human　idolatry　in　any　face

it　has　been　in　hers；　and　she　will　soon　banish　all　this　wild　passion

from　your　mind。　　But　be　that　as　it　may　you　must　keep　your　word　if

you　would　keep　my　respect；　and　I　would　not　lose　my　respect　for　you

for　the　world。　　I　know　you　too　well　to　doubt　but　that　you　will　take

up　this　sacred　duty　and　seek　to　perform　it　with　the　whole　strength

of　your　manhood。〃



Never　for　a　moment　had　Van　Berg　removed　his　eyes　from　Ida's　face；

and　her　words　and　manner　seemed　both　to　awe　and　control　him。　　As

she　spoke；　his　expression　became　quiet　and　strong；　and　when　she

concluded　he　came　to　her　side　and　said　earnestly：



〃Miss　Mayhew；　since　it　is　still　possible；　I　will　keep　your　respect；

for　it　is　absolutely　essential　to　me。　　God　has　indeed　given　you　a

woman's　soul；　and　he　NEVER　MADE　A　NOBLER　WOMAN。　　You　are　a　friend

in　truth　and　not　in　name；　and　you　have　saved　me　from　madly　destroying

my　own　future；　and　perhaps　the　future　of　others；　which　is　of　far

more　consequence。　　If　I　fail　in　obeying　both　the　letter　and　spirit

of　your　words　it　will　be　because　I　cannot　help　myself。〃



Her　face；　which　had　been　so　sweet　and　luminous　with　her　generous

impulse　and　noble　thoughts；　was　growing　very　pale　now；　but　she

rose　and　gave　him　her　hand；　saying　with　a　faint　smile　that　was　like

the　fading　light　of　evening；　〃I　knew　you　would　not　disappoint　me；

I　was　sure　you　were　worthy　of　my　trust。　　Let　the　honest　right　be

our　motto　henceforth；　and　all　will　be　well　some　day。　　Good…by。〃



He　pressed　her　hand　in　both　of　his　as　he　said　fervently；　〃God　bless

you；　Ida　Mayhew！〃　　Then　he　turned　and　hastened　away；　flying　from

his　own　weakness　and　a　womanly　loveliness　which　at　the　moment　far

excelled　any　ideal　he　had　ever　formed。



He　had　scarcely　reached　the　road　before　he　remembered　that　he　had

left　his　sketch…book；　and　he　went　back　for　it；　but　as　he　turned

the　corner　of　the　shady　path　he　stopped　instantly。　　The　strong；

clear…eyed　maiden　who　had　rallied　the　forces　of　his　shattered

manhood；　and　given　him　the　vantage…ground　again　in　life's　battle；

had　bowed　her　head　on　the　arm　of　the　rustic　seat　and　was　sobbing

convulsively。　　Indeed；　her　grief　was　so　uncontrollable　and　passionate

that　in　his　very　soul　he　trembled　before　it。



〃Oh；　Jennie　Burton；〃　she　moaned；　〃it　would　have　been　easier　for

me　to　die　for　you　than　to　give　him　up。　　God　help　himGod　help　me

through　the　dreadful　years　to　come！〃



His　first　impulse　was　to　spring　to　her　side；　but　he　hesitated；

and　then　with　a　gesture　and　look　of　infinite　regret　he　turned　and

stole　silently　away。











Chapter　LIII。　　A　Night's　Vigil。









As　Van　Berg　left　Mr。　Eltinge's　grounds　he　had　the　aspect　of　a　man

who　had　seen　a　vision。　　He　had　seen　more；　for　the　human　face　expressive

of　absolute；　even　though　brief；　mastery　over　evil　is　a　nobler　object

than　can　be　the　serene　visage　of　a　sinless　and　untempted　angel。



At　last　he　understood　Ida　Mayhew。　　If　he　had　deeply　honored　her　when

he　supposed　that　as　a　sincere；　honest　friend　only　she　had　spoken

her　strong；　true　words；　which　might　save　him　from　wrecking　his　life

from　impulses　of　shame　and　wounded　pride；　how　instantaneously　was

this　honor　changed　into　reverence　and　wonder　as　he　recognized　her

self…sacrifice　at　the　dictates　of　conscience。　　All　was　now　perfectly

clear。　　The　truth　of　her　love　had　flashed　out　from　the　dark　cloud

of　her　passionate　grie