a face illumined-第78章

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had　never　loved　Jennie　Burtonthat　he　had　never　known　what　the

word　meant　until　swept　away　by　the　irresistible　tide　of　a　passion；

the　power　of　which　already　appalled　him。　　To　say　that　he　did　not

feel　like　keeping　his　promise　now；　or　that　his　feelings　had　changed；

he　knew　would　be　regarded　as　an　excuse　beneath　contempt；　and　a　week

since　he　himself　would　have　pronounced　the　most　merciless　judgment

against　a　man　in　his　present　position。



Before　the　vigil　of　that　night　was　over；　he　decided　that　he　could

not　meet　either　Ida　Mayhew　or　Jennie　Burton　again。　　He　believed

that　Ida　Mayhew　understood　him　only　too　well　now；　and　that　she

thoroughly　despised　him。　　Indeed；　from　her　manner　of　passing　him；

he　doubted　whether　she　willingly　would　speak　to　him　again；　for　her

veil　had　prevented　him　from　seeing　the　pallor　and　traces　of　grief

which　she　was　so　anxious　to　hide。　　In　his　morbidly　sensitive　state；

it　seemed　a　deliberate　but　just　withdrawal　of　even　her　acquaintance。

He　felt　that　the　brief　dream　of　Ida　Mayhew　was　over　forever；　and

that　she　would　indeed　keep　the　priceless　kingdom　of　her　heart　from

him　above　all　others。　　He　believed　that　now；　after　her　conversation

with　Stanton；　she　clearly　saw　that　the　absurdly　ardent　friendship

he　had　urged　upon　her　was　only　the　incipient　stage　of　a　new　passion

in　a　fickle　wretch　who　had　dared　to　trifle　with　a　girl　like　Jennie

Burtona　maiden　that；　of　all　others　in　the　world；　a　man　of　honor

would　shield。



As　for　Miss　Burton　herself；　now　that　he　realized　his　situation；

he　felt　that　he　could　never　look　her　in　the　face　again。　　To　try　to

resume　his　old　relations　seemed　to　be　impossible。　　He　never　had　and

never　could　say　to　her　a　word　that　he　knew　was　insincere。　　Besides；

he　was　sure　that　such　an　effort　would　be　futile；　for　she　would

detect　his　hollowness　at　once；　and　he　feared　a　glance　of　scorn　from

her　blue　eyes　more　than　the　lightning　of　heaven。　　He　resolved　to

leave　the　Lake　House　on　Monday；　and　from　New　York　write　to　Miss

Burton　the　unvarnished　truth；　assuring　her　that　he　knew　himself　to

be　unworthy　even　to　speak　to　her　again。　　Then；　as　soon　as　he　could

complete　his　preparations；　he　would　go　abroad　and　give　himself

wholly　to　his　art。



Having　come　to　these　conclusions；　he　stole　by　a　side　entrance　like

a　guilty　shadow　to　his　room　and　tried　to　obtain　such　rest　as　is

possible　to　those　who　are　in　the　hell　of　mental　torment。　　After　an

early　breakfast　the　following　morning；　he　started　for　the　mountains；

and　no　wild　beast　that　ever　roamed　them　would　have　torn　him　more

pitilessly　than　did　his　own　outraged　sense　of　honor　and　manhood。

He　returned　late　in　the　evening；　weary　and　faint；　and　with　the

furtiveness　of　an　outlaw；　again　reached　his　room　without　meeting

those　whom　he　so　wished　to　avoid。　　After　the　heavy；　unrefreshing

sleep　of　utter　exhaustion　he　once　more　left　the　house　early；　with

his　sketch…book　in　hand　to　disguise　his　purpose；　for　it　was　his

intention　to　visit　the　old　garden　before　he　finally　left　the　scenes

to　which　he　had　been　led　by　following　a　mere　freak　of　fancy。　　He

learned　from　one　of　Mr。　Eltinge's　workman　that　the　old　gentleman

would　be　absent　from　home　the　entire　day；　and　thus　feeling　secure

from　interruption；　he　entered　the　quite；　shady　place　in　which　had

begun　the　symphony　which　was　now　ending　in　such　harsh　discord。

Seeing　that　he　was　alone　he　threw　himself　into　the　rustic　seat；

and　burying　his　face　in　his　hands；　soon　became　unconscious　of　the

lapse　of　time　in　his　painful　revery。











Chapter　LII。　　An　Illumined　Face。









Ida's　expression　and　manner　when　she　came　down　to　breakfast　on

Sabbath　morning；　reminded　Miss　Burton　of　the　time　when　the　poor

girl　believed　that　the　man　she　loved；　both　despised　and　misjudged

her。　　And　yet　there　was　a　vital　difference。　　Then　she　was　icy　and

defiant；　now；　with　all　and　more　than　the　old　sadness；　there　was

an　aspect　of　humility　and　gentleness　which　had　never　been　seen　in

former　times；　but　the　woman　who　should　have　been　so　glad　to　cheer

her　and　remove　all　misunderstandings　found　that　she　was　absolutely

unapproachable　except　by　a　sort　of　social　violence　of　which　Jennie

Burton　was　not　capable。　　Ida's　effortwhich　was　but　partially

successfulto　be　brave　and　even　cheerful　for　her　father's　sake；

caused　Mr。　Mayhew　more　than　once　to　go　away　by　himself　in　order

to　hide　his　feelings。　　Mrs。　Mayhew　became　more　and　more　mystified

and　uncomfortable。　　She　had　enjoyed；　in　her　cold…blooded　way；　a

tranquil；　gossipy　week　during　her　daughter's　and　husband's　absence；

but　now　she　felt　as　if　some　kind　of　a　domestic　convulsion　might

occur　any　moment。



〃I　don't　see　why　people　have　to　make　such　a　fuss　over　life；〃　she

complained。　　〃If　they　would　only　do　what　was　stylish；　proper　and

religious　they　wouldn't　have　any　trouble；〃　and　the　strong　and　not

wholly　repressed　feeling　of　Ida　and　her　father；　of　which　she　was

uncomfortably　conscious；　seemed　to　her　absurd　and　uncalled　for。

Like　the　majority　of　matter…of…fact　people；　she　had　no　patience

or　charity　for　emotion　or　deep　regret。　　〃Do　the　proper　thing　under

the　circumstances　and　let　that　end　the　matter；〃　was　one　of　her

favorite　sayings。



Stanton　learned　from　Mr。　Burleigh　that　Van　Berg　had　gone　on　a

mountain　tramp；　and；　when　he　told　Ida；　hope　whispered　to　her；　〃If

he　loved　Jennie　Burton　or　felt　that　he　could　return　to　her　side；

he　would　not　do　that　after　his　long　absence。〃



But　when　he　did　not　return　to　supper　she　began　to　droop　and　become

pale　like　a　flower　growing　in　too　dense　a　shade。　　She　was　glad

when　the　interminable　day　came　to　an　end　and　she　could　shut　herself

away　from　every　one；　for　there　are　wounds　which　the　heart　would

hide　even　from　the　eyes　of　love　and　sympathy。　　It　had　been　arranged

during　the　day　that　Mr。　Mayhew　should　find　another　place　at　which

to　spend　his　vacation；　and　that　as　early　in　the　week　as　possible

Stanton　should　take　his　wife　and　daughter　thither。



When　at　last　poor　Ida　slept　she　dreamt　that　she　was　sailing　on

a　beautiful　yacht　with　silver　canvas　and　crimson　flagsthat　Van

Berg　stood　at　her　side　pointing　to　a　lovely　island　which　they　were

rapidly　approaching。　　Then　a　sudden　gust　of　wind　swept　her　overboard

and　she　was　sinking；　sinking　till　the　waters　became　so　cold　and

dark　that　she　awoke　with　a　cry　of　terror。　　〃Oh；〃　she　sobbed；　〃my

dream　is　true！　　my　dream　is　true！〃



Mr。　Mayhew　returned　to　the　city　in　the　morning；　leaving　his　daughter

very　reluctantly；　and　Ida；　as　early　as　possible；　set　out　again　in

the　low　phaeton　to　visit　Mr。　Eltinge；　for　never　before　had　she　felt

a　greater　need　of　his　counsel　and　help。　　Tears　came　into　her　eyes

when　informed　of　his　absence。　　〃Everything　is　against　me；〃　she

murmured；　but　she　decided　to　spend　some　time　in　the　garden　before

she　returned。　　She　had　almost　reached　the　rustic　seat　when　a　turn

in　the　walk　revealed　that　it　was　occupied。　　Her　first　impulse　was

to　retreat　hastily；　but　observing　that　Van　Berg　had　not　heard　her

light　step；　she　hesitated。　　Then；　his　attitude　of　utter　dejection

so　won　her　sympathy　that　she　could　not　leave　him　without　speaking；

for　she　remembered　how　sorely　in　need　she　once　had　been　of　a

reassuring　word。　　Moreover；　her　heart　said；　〃Speak　to　him；〃　hope

cried；　〃Stay；〃　and　her　temptation　to　win　him　if　possible；　right　or

wrong；　sprang　up　with　tenfold　power　and　whispered：　　〃The　man　whom

Jennie　Burton　welcomed　so　cordially　Saturday　evening　would　not

wear　this　aspect　if　he　had　the　power　to　return　readily　to　her　side

again。〃　　Still　she　hesitated　and　found　it　almost　as　hard　to　obtain

words　or　courage　now　as　when　she　saw　him　pulling　apart　the　worm…eaten

rosebud。　　At　last　she　faltered：



〃Mr。　Van　Berg；　are　you　ill？〃



He　started　to　his　feet　with　a　dazed　look　and　passed　his　hand　across

his　browthe　same　gesture　she　so　well　remembered　seeing　him　make

at　the　close　of　the　happy　evening　he　had　spent　at　her　home。　　As　he

realized　that　the　maiden　before　him　was　flesh　and　blood；　and　not

a　creation　of　his　morbid　fancy；　the　hot　blood　rushed　swiftly　into

his　face；　and　his　eyes　fell　before　her。



〃Yes；　Miss　Mayhew；　I　am；〃　he　said；　briefly。



〃I　am　very　sorry。　　Can　I　not　do　anything　for　you？〃　she　asked；

kindly。



He　looked　up　at　her　in　strong　surprise；　and　was　still　more　perplexed

by　the　sympathetic　expression　of　her　face；　but　he　only　said；　〃I

regret　to　say　you　cannot。〃



〃Mr。　Van　Berg；〃　said　Ida；　in　tones　full　of　distress；　〃your　words

and　appearance　pain　me　exceedingly。　　You　look　as　if　you　had　been

ill　a　month。　　What　has　happened？〃　　His　aspect　might　trouble　one

less　interested　in　him　than　herself；　for　his　eyes　were　blood…shot；

and　he　had　become　so　haggard　that　she　could　scarcely　realize　that

he　was　the　man　who　but　four　days　previous　had　compared　his　hearty

merriment　with　the　〃laughter　of　the　gods。〃



〃Miss　Mayhew；〃　he　said；　bitterly　and　slowly；　too；　as　if　he　were

carefully　choosing　his　words；　〃you　had　a　presentiment　last　Saturday

that　some　evil　was　about　to　happen。　　As　far　as　I　am　concerned　the

worst　has　happened。　　I　have　lost　my　self…respect。　　I　have　no　right

to　stand　here　in　your　presence。　　I　have　no　right　to　be　in　this

place　even。　　I　once　tossed　away　a　little　flower　that　had　been　sadly

marred；　through　no　fault　of　its　own；　and　as　I　did　so　I　said　in　my

pride　and　self…complacency　that　its　imperfection　justified　my　act。

You　understood　me　too　well；　and　my　accursed　Phariseeism　wounded

your　very　heart。　　You　afterwards　generously　forgave　my　offence　and

a　worse　one；　but　God　is　just　and　I　am　now　punished　in　the　severest

possible　way。　　I　perceive　now　that　you　do　not　understand　me；　or　you

could　not　look　and　speak　so　kindly。　　I　thought　you　had　learned　me

better；　for　you　spoke　words　on　the　boat　that　pierced　my　very　soul；

revealing　me　to　myself；　and　later　you　passed　me　without　a　glance。

You　were　right　in　both　instances。　　You　are　wrong　now；　and　i　shall

not　take　advantage　of　your　present　ignorance；　which　circumstances

will　soon　remove。　　I　repeat　it；　Miss　Mayhew；　I　have　no　right　to　be　here

and　speaking　to　you；　and　yet〃he　made　a　passionate　and　despairing

gesture；　and　was　about　to　turn　hastily　away；　when　Ida　said；

earnestly；　with　her　eyes　fixed　on　his　face；　as　was　her　instinctive

custom　when　she　sought　to　learn　more　from　the　expression　of　the

speaker　than　from　his　words：



〃Mr。　Van　Berg；　before　we　part；　answer　me　one　question。　　Have　you

deliberately　and　selfishly　intended　to　do　wrong；　or　to　wrong　any

one？〃



〃No；〃　he　promptly　replied　meeting；　her　searching　look　unhesitatingly。

Then；　with　an　impatient　gesture；　he　added：　　〃But　no　one　will　ever

believe　it。〃



〃I　believe　it；〃　she　said　with　a　reassuring　smile。



〃You？　　You　of　all　others？　　But　you　are　talking　at　random；　Miss

Mayhew。　　When　you　learn　the　truth　you　will　look　and　speak　very

differently。　　And　you　shall　learn　it　now。　　You　once　told　me　of　a

wicked　and　desperate　purpose　to　which　you　were　driv