she stoops to conquer(屈身求爱)-第3章
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SECOND FELLOW。 I loves to hear him sing； bekeays he never
gives us nothing that's low。
THIRD FELLOW。 O damn anything that's low； I cannot bear it。
FOURTH FELLOW。 The genteel thing is the genteel thing any time：
if so be that a gentleman bees in a concatenation accordingly。
THIRD FELLOW。 I likes the maxum of it； Master Muggins。 What；
though I am obligated to dance a bear； a man may be a gentleman for all
that。 May this be my poison； if my bear ever dances but to the very
genteelest of tunes； 〃Water Parted；〃 or 〃The minuet in Ariadne。〃
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SECOND FELLOW。 What a pity it is the 'squire is not come to his
own。 It would be well for all the publicans within ten miles round of
him。
TONY。 Ecod； and so it would； Master Slang。 I'd then show what it
was to keep choice of company。
SECOND FELLOW。 O he takes after his own father for that。 To be
sure old 'Squire Lumpkin was the finest gentleman I ever set my eyes on。
For winding the straight horn； or beating a thicket for a hare； or a wench；
he never had his fellow。 It was a saying in the place； that he kept the best
horses； dogs； and girls； in the whole county。
TONY。 Ecod； and when I'm of age； I'll be no bastard； I promise you。
I have been thinking of Bet Bouncer and the miller's grey mare to begin
with。 But come； my boys； drink about and be merry； for you pay no
reckoning。 Well； Stingo； what's the matter？
Enter Landlord。
LANDLORD。 There be two gentlemen in a post…chaise at the door。
They have lost their way upo' the forest； and they are talking something
about Mr。 Hardcastle。
TONY。 As sure as can be； one of them must be the gentleman that's
coming down to court my sister。 Do they seem to be Londoners？
LANDLORD。 I believe they may。 They look woundily like
Frenchmen。
TONY。 Then desire them to step this way； and I'll set them right in a
twinkling。 （Exit Landlord。） Gentlemen； as they mayn't be good enough
company for you； step down for a moment； and I'll be with you in the
squeezing of a lemon。 ＇Exeunt mob。＇
TONY。 （solus）。 Father…in…law has been calling me whelp and
hound this half year。 Now； if I pleased； I could be so revenged upon the
old grumbletonian。 But then I'm afraidafraid of what？ I shall soon be
worth fifteen hundred a year； and let him frighten me out of THAT if he
can。
Enter Landlord； conducting MARLOW and HASTINGS。
MARLOW。 What a tedious uncomfortable day have we had of it！
We were told it was but forty miles across the country； and we have come
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above threescore。
HASTINGS。 And all； Marlow； from that unaccountable reserve of
yours； that would not let us inquire more frequently on the way。
MARLOW。 I own； Hastings； I am unwilling to lay myself under an
obligation to every one I meet； and often stand the chance of an
unmannerly answer。
HASTINGS。 At present； however； we are not likely to receive any
answer。
TONY。 No offence； gentlemen。 But I'm told you have been
inquiring for one Mr。 Hardcastle in these parts。 Do you know what part
of the country you are in？
HASTINGS。 Not in the least； sir； but should thank you for
information。
TONY。 Nor the way you came？
HASTINGS。 No； sir： but if you can inform us
TONY。 Why； gentlemen； if you know neither the road you are going；
nor where you are； nor the road you came； the first thing I have to inform
you is； thatyou have lost your way。
MARLOW。 We wanted no ghost to tell us that。
TONY。 Pray； gentlemen； may I be so bold so as to ask the place from
whence you came？
MARLOW。 That's not necessary towards directing us where we are
to go。
TONY。 No offence； but question for question is all fair； you know。
Pray； gentlemen； is not this same Hardcastle a cross…grained； old…fashioned；
whimsical fellow； with an ugly face； a daughter； and a pretty son？
HASTINGS。 We have not seen the gentleman； but he has the family
you mention。
TONY。 The daughter； a tall； trapesing； trolloping； talkative maypole；
the son； a pretty； well…bred； agreeable youth； that everybody is fond of。
MARLOW。 Our information differs in this。 The daughter is said to
be well…bred and beautiful； the son an awkward booby； reared up and
spoiled at his mother's apron…string。
TONY。 He…he…hem！Then； gentlemen； all I have to tell you is； that
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you won't reach Mr。 Hardcastle's house this night； I believe。
HASTINGS。 Unfortunate！
TONY。 It's a damn'd long； dark； boggy； dirty； dangerous way。
Stingo； tell the gentlemen the way to Mr。 Hardcastle's！ （Winking upon
the Landlord。） Mr。 Hardcastle's； of Quagmire Marsh； you understand me。
LANDLORD。 Master Hardcastle's！ Lock…a…daisy； my masters；
you're come a deadly deal wrong！ When you came to the bottom of the
hill； you should have crossed down Squash Lane。
MARLOW。 Cross down Squash Lane！
LANDLORD。 Then you were to keep straight forward； till you came
to four roads。
MARLOW。 Come to where four roads meet？
TONY。 Ay； but you must be sure to take only one of them。
MARLOW。 O； sir； you're facetious。
TONY。 Then keeping to the right； you are to go sideways till you
come upon Crackskull Common： there you must look sharp for the track
of the wheel； and go forward till you come to farmer Murrain's barn。
Coming to the farmer's barn； you are to turn to the right； and then to the
left； and then to the right about again； till you find out the old mill
MARLOW。 Zounds； man！ we could as soon find out the longitude！
HASTINGS。 What's to be done； Marlow？
MARLOW。 This house promises but a poor reception； though
perhaps the landlord can accommodate us。
LANDLORD。 Alack； master； we have but one spare bed in the whole
house。
TONY。 And to my knowledge； that's taken up by three lodgers
already。 （After a pause； in which the rest seem disconcerted。） I have hit
it。 Don't you think； Stingo； our landlady could accommodate the
gentlemen by the fire…side； withthree chairs and a bolster？
HASTINGS。 I hate sleeping by the fire…side。
MARLOW。 And I detest your three chairs and a bolster。
TONY。 You do； do you？ then； let me seewhat if you go on a mile
further； to the Buck's Head； the old Buck's Head on the hill； one of the best
inns in the whole county？
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HASTINGS。 O ho！ so we have escaped an adventure for this night；
however。
LANDLORD。 （apart to TONY）。 Sure； you ben't sending them to
your father's as an inn； be you？
TONY。 Mum； you fool you。 Let THEM find that out。 （To them。）
You have only to keep on straight forward； till you come to a large old
house by the road side。 You'll see a pair of large horns over the door。
That's the sign。 Drive up the yard； and call stoutly about you。
HASTINGS。 Sir； we are obliged to you。 The servants can't miss the
way？
TONY。 No； no： but I tell you； though； the landlord is rich； and going
to leave off business； so he wants to be thought a gentleman； saving your
presence； he！ he！ he！ He'll be for giving you his company； and； ecod； if
you mind him； he'll persuade you that his mother was an alderman； and his
aunt a justice of peace。
LANDLORD。 A troublesome old blade； to be sure； but a keeps as
good wines and beds as any in the whole country。
MARLOW。 Well； if he supplies us with these； we shall want no
farther connexion。 We are to turn to the right； did you say？
TONY。 No； no； straight forward。 I'll just step myself； and show you
a piece of the way。 （To the Landlord。） Mum！
LANDLORD。 Ah； bless your heart； for a sweet； pleasantdamn'd
mischievous son of a whore。 ＇Exeunt。＇
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ACT THE SECOND。
SCENEAn old…fashioned House。
Enter HARDCASTLE； followed by three or four awkward Servants。
HARDCASTLE。 Well； I hope you are perfect in the table exercise I
have been teaching you these three days。 You all know your posts and
your places； and can show that you have been used to good company；
without ever stirring from home。
OMNES。 Ay； ay。
HARDCASTLE。 When company comes you are not to pop out and
stare； and then run in again； like frightened rabbits in a warren。
OMNES。 No； no。
HARDCASTLE。 You； Diggory； whom I have taken from the barn；
are to make a show at the side…table； and you； Roger； whom I have
advanced from the plough； are to place yourself behind my chair。 But
you're not to stand so； with your hands in your pockets。 Take your hands
from your pockets； Roger； and from your head； you blockhead you。 See
how Diggory carries his hands。 They're a little too stiff； indeed； but that's
no great matter。
DIGGORY。 Ay； mind how I hold them。 I learned to hold my hands
this way when I was upon drill for the militia。 And so being upon drill…
…
HARDCASTLE。 You must
