poor miss finch-第79章

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exposing　the　deception　that　Nugent　was　practicing　on　her。　For　the　rest；　I
still　persisted　in　entreating　Lucilla　to　go　back　with　me　to　our　old
friend。

〃Remember　our　conversation　on　this　very　subject；〃　she　rejoined；　shaking
her　head　decisively。　〃I　mean　at　the　time　when　the　operation　was　going　to
be　performed。　I　told　you　I　was　used　to　being　blind。　I　said　I　only　wanted
to　recover　my　sight；　to　see　Oscar。　And　when　I　did　see　himwhat　happened？
The　disappointment　was　so　dreadful；　I　wished　myself　blind　again。　Don't
start！　don't　cry　out　as　if　you　were　shocked！　I　mean　what　I　say。　You
people　who　can　see；　attach　such　an　absurd　importance　to　your　eyes！　Don't
you　recollect　my　saying　that；　when　we　last　talked　about　it？〃

I　recollected　perfectly。　She　had　said　those　words。　She　had　declared　that
she　had　never　honestly　envied　any　of　us　the　use　of　our　eyes。　She　had　even
reviled　our　eyes；　comparing　them　contemptuously　with　_her_　touch；
deriding　them　as　deceivers　who　were　constantly　leading　us　wrong。　I
acknowledged　all　thiswithout　being　in　the　least　reconciled　to　the
catastrophe　that　had　happened。　If　she　would　only　have　listened　to　me；　I
should　still　have　gone　on　obstinately　pleading　with　her。　But　she　flatly
refused　to　listen。　〃We　have　very　little　time　to　spare；〃　she　said。　〃Let　us
talk　of　something　more　interesting　before　I　am　obliged　to　leave　you。〃

〃Obliged　to　leave　me？〃　I　repeated。　〃Are　you　not　your　own　mistress？〃

Her　face　clouded　over；　her　manner　became　embarrassed。

〃I　cannot　honestly　tell　you　that　I　am　a　prisoner；〃　she　answered。　〃I　can
only　say　I　am　watched。　When　Oscar　is　away　from　me；　Oscar's　cousina　sly；
suspicious；　false　womanalways　contrives　to　put　herself　in　his　place。　I
heard　her　say　to　her　husband　that　she　believed　I　should　break　my　marriage
engagement　unless　I　was　closely　looked　after。　I　don't　know　what　I　should
do；　but　for　one　of　the　servants　in　the　house；　who　is　an　excellent
creaturewho　sympathizes　with　me；　and　helps　me。〃　She　stopped；　and　lifted
her　head　inquiringly。　〃Where　_is_　the　servant？〃　she　asked。

I　had　forgotten　the　woman　who　had　brought　her　into　the　room。　She　must
have　delicately　left　us　together　after　leading　Lucilla　in。　When　I　looked
up；　she　was　not　to　be　seen。

〃The　servant　is　no　doubt　waiting　down…stairs；〃　I　said。　〃Go　on。〃

〃But　for　that　good　creature；〃　Lucilla　resumed；　〃I　should　never　have　got
here。　She　brought　me　your　letter；　and　read　it　to　me；　and　wrote　my　reply。
I　arranged　with　her　to　slip　out　at　the　first　opportunity。　One　chance　was
in　our　favorwe　had　only　the　cousin　to　keep　an　eye　on　us。　Oscar　was　not
in　the　house。〃

She　suddenly　checked　herself　at　the　last　word。　A　slight　sound　at　the
lower　end　of　the　room；　which　had　passed　unnoticed　by　me；　had　caught　her
delicate　ear；　〃What　is　that　noise？〃　she　asked。　〃Anybody　in　the　room　with
us？〃

I　looked　up　once　more。　While　she　was　talking　of　the　false　Oscar；　the　true
Oscar　was　standing　listening　to　her；　at　the　other　end　of　the　room。

When　he　discovered　that　I　was　looking　at　him；　he　entreated　me　by　a
gesture　not　to　betray　his　presence。　He　had　evidently　heard　what　we　had
been　saying　to　each　other；　before　I　detected　himfor　he　touched　his
eyes；　and　lifted　his　hands　pityingly　in　allusion　to　Lucilla's　blindness。
Whatever　his　mood　might　be；　that　melancholy　discovery　must　surely　have
affected　himLucilla's　influence　over　him　now；　_could_　only　be　an
influence　for　good。　I　signed　to　him　to　remainand　told　Lucilla　that
there　was　nothing　to　be　alarmed　about。　She　went　on。

〃Oscar　left　us　for　London　early　this　morning；〃　she　said。　〃Can　you　guess
what　he　has　gone　for？　He　has　gone　to　get　the　Marriage　Licensehe　has
given　notice　of　the　marriage　at　the　church。　My　last　hope　is　in　you。　In
spite　of　everything　that　I　can　say　to　him；　he　has　fixed　the　day　for　the
twenty…firstin　two　days　more！　I　have　done　all　I　could　to　put　it　off；　I
have　insisted　on　every　possible　delay。　Oh；　if　you　knew！〃　Her　rising
agitation　stifled　her　utterance　at　the　moment。　〃I　mustn't　waste　the
precious　minutes；　I　must　get　back　before　Oscar　returns；〃　she　went　on；
rallying　again。　〃Oh；　my　old　friend；　you　are　never　at　a　loss；　you　always
know　what　to　do！　Find　me　some　way　of　putting　off　my　marriage。　Suggest
something　which　will　take　them　by　surprise；　and　force　them　to　give　me
time！〃

I　looked　towards　the　lower　end　of　the　room。　Listening　in　breathless
interest；　Oscar　had　noiselessly　advanced　half…way　towards　us。　At　a　sign
from　me；　he　checked　himself　and　came　no　farther。

〃Do　you　really　mean；　Lucilla；　that　you　no　longer　love　him？〃　I　said。

〃I　can　tell　you　nothing　about　it；〃　she　answered〃except　that　some
dreadful　change　has　come　over　me。　While　I　had　my　sight；　I　could　partly
account　for　itI　believed　that　the　new　sense　had　made　a　new　being　of　me。
But　now　I　have　lost　my　sight　againnow　I　am　once　more　what　I　have　been
all　my　lifestill　the　same　horrible　insensibility　possesses　me。　I　have
so　little　feeling　for　him；　that　I　sometimes　find　it　hard　to　persuade
myself　that　he　really　_is_　Oscar。　You　know　how　I　used　to　adore　him。　You
know　how　enchanted　I　should　once　have　been　to　marry　him。　Think　of　what　I
must　suffer；　feeling　towards　him　as　I　feel　now！〃

I　looked　up　again。　Oscar　had　stolen　nearer；　I　could　see　his　face　plainly。
The　good　influence　of　Lucilla　was　beginning　to　do　its　good　work！　I　saw
the　tears　rising　in　his　eyes；　I　saw　love　and　pity　taking　the　place　of
hatred　and　revenge。　The　Oscar　of　my　old　recollections　was　standing　before
me　once　more！

〃I　don't　want　to　go　away；〃　Lucilla　went　on；　〃I　don't　want　to　leave　him。
All　I　ask　for；　is　a　little　more　time。　Time　_must_　help　me　to　get　back
again　to　my　old　self。　My　blind　days　have　been　the　days　of　my　whole　life。
Can　a　few　weeks　of　sight　have　deprived　me　of　the　feelings　which　have　been
growing　in　me　for　years？　I　won't　believe　it！　I　can　find　my　way　about　the
house；　I　can　tell　things　by　my　touch；　I　can　do　all　that　I　did　in　my
blindness；　just　as　well　as　ever；　now　I　am　blind　again。　The　feeling　for
_him_　will　come　back　to　me　like　the　rest。　Only　give　me　time！　only　give　me
time！〃

At　the　last　word；　she　started　to　her　feet　in　sudden　alarm。　〃There　is　some
one　in　the　room；〃　she　said。　〃Some　one　who　is　crying！　Who　is　it？〃

Oscar　was　close　to　us。　The　tears　were　falling　fast　over　his　cheeksthe
one　faint　sobbing　breath　which　had　escaped　him　had　caught　my　ear　as　well
as　Lucilla's。　I　took　his　hand　in　one　of　my　hands；　and　I　took　Lucilla's
hand　in　the　other。　For　good　or　for　evil；　the　result　rested　with　God's
mercy。　The　time　had　come。

〃Who　is　it？〃　Lucilla　repeated　impatiently。

〃Try　if　you　can　tell；　my　love；　without　asking　me。〃

With　those　words；　I　put　her　hand　in　Oscar's　handand　stood　close；
watching　her　face。

For　one　awful　moment；　when　she　first　felt　the　familiar　touch；　the　blood
left　her　cheeks。　Her　blind　eyes　dilated　fearfully。　She　stood　petrified。
Then；　with　a　long　low　crya　cry　of　breathless　raptureshe　flung　her
arms　passionately　round　his　neck。　The　life　flowed　back　into　her　face；　her
lovely　smile　just　trembled　on　her　parted　lips；　her　breath　came　faint　and
quick　and　fluttering。　In　soft　tones　of　ecstasy；　with　her　lips　on　his
cheek；　she　murmured　the　delicious　words：

〃Oh；　Oscar！　I　know　you　once　more！〃



CHAPTER　THE　FIFTIETH

The　End　of　the　Journey

A　LITTLE　interval　of　time　elapsed。

Her　first　exquisite　sense　of　the　recognition　by　touch　had　passed　away。
Her　mind　had　recovered　its　balance。　She　separated　herself　from　Oscar；　and
turned　to　me；　with　the　one　inevitable　question　which　I　knew　must　follow
the　joining　of　their　hands。

〃What　does　it　mean？〃

The　exposure　of　Nugent's　perfidy；　the　revelation　of　the　fatal　secret　of
Oscar's　face；　and；　last　not　least；　the　defence　of　my　own　conduct　towards
her；　were　all　comprehended　in　the　answer　for　which　that　question　called。
As　carefully；　as　delicately；　as　mercifully　as　I　could；　I　disclosed　to　her
the　whole　truth。　How　the　shock　affected　her；　she　did　not　tell　me　at　the
time；　and　has　never　told　me　since。　With　her　hand　in　Oscar's　hand；　with
her　face　hidden　on　Oscar's　breast；　she　listened；　not　once　interrupting
me；　from　first　to　last；　by　so　much　as　a　single　word。　Now　and　then；　I　saw
her　tremble；　now　and　then　I　heard　her　sigh　heavily。　That　was　all。　It　was
only　when　I　had　endedit　was　only　after　a　long　interval　during　which
Oscar　and　I　watched　her　in　speechless　anxietythat　she　slowly　lifted　her
head　and　broke　the　silence。

〃Thank　God；〃　we　heard　her　say　to　herself　fervently〃Thank　God；　I　am
blind。〃

Those　were　her　first　words。　They　filled　me　with　horror。　I　cried　out　to
her　to　recall　them。

She　quietly　laid　her　head　back　on　Oscar's　breast。

〃Why　should　I　recall　them？〃　she　asked。　〃Do　you　think　I　wish　to　see　him
disfigured　as　he　is　now？　No！　I　wish　to　see　himand　I　_do_　see　him！as
my　fancy　drew　his　picture　in　the　first　days　of　our　love。　My　blindness　is
my　blessing。　It　has　given　me　back　my　old　delightful　sensation　when　I
touch　him；　it　keeps　my　own　beloved　image　of　himthe　one　image　I　care
forunchanged　and　unchangeable。　You　_will_　persist　in　thinking　that　my
happiness　depends　on　my　sight。　I　look　back　with　horror　at　what　I　suffered
when　I　had　my　sightmy　one　effort　is　to　forget　that　miserable　time。　Oh；
how　little　you　know　of　me！　Oh；　what　a　shock　it　would　be　to　me；　if　I　saw
him　as　you　see　him！　Try　to　understand　me；　and　you　won't　talk　of　my
lossyou　will　talk　of　my　gain。〃

〃Your　gain？〃　I　repeated。　〃What　have　you　gained？〃

〃Happiness；〃　she　answered。　〃My　life　lives　in　my　love。　And　my　love　lives
in　my　blindness。〃

There　was　the　story　of　her　whole　existencetold　in　two　words！

If　you　had　seen　her　radiant　face　as　she　raised　it　again　in　the　excitement
of　speaking；　if　you　had　remembered　（as　I　remembered）　what　her　surgeon　had
said　of　the　penalty　which　she　must　inevitably　pay　for　the　recovery　of　her
sighthow　would　you　have　answered　her？　It　is　barely　possible；　perhaps；
that　you　might　have　done　what　I　did。　That　is　to　say：　You　might　have
modestly　admitted　that　she　knew　what　the　conditions　of　her　happiness　were
better　than　youand　you　might　not　have　answered　her　at　all！

I　left　them　to　talk　together；　and　took　a　turn　in　the　room；　considering
with　myself　what　we　were　to　do　next。

It　was　not　easy　to　say。　The　barren　information　which　I　had　received　from
my　darling　was　all　the　information　that　I　possessed。　Nugent　had
unflinchingly　carried　his　cruel　deception　to　its　end。　He　had　falsely
given　notice　of　his　marriage　at　the　church；　in　his　brother's　name；　and　he
was　now　in　London；　falsely　obtaining　his　Marriage　License；　in　his
brother's　name　also。　So　much　I　knew　of　his　proceedingsand　no　more。

While　I　was　still　pondering；　Lucilla　cut　the　Gordian　knot。

〃Why　are　we　stopping　here？〃　she　asked。　〃Let　us　goand　never　return　to
this　hateful　place　again！〃

As　she　rose　to　her　feet；　we　were　startled　by　a　soft　knock　at　the　door。

I　answered　the　knock。　The　woman　who　had　brought　Lucilla　to　the　hotel
appeared　once　more。　She　seemed　to　be　afraid　to　venture　far　from　the　door。
Standing　just　inside　the　room；　she　looked　nervously　at　Lucilla；　and　said；
〃Can　I　speak　to　you；　Miss？〃

〃You　can　say　anything　you　like；　before　this　lady　and　gentleman；〃　Lucilla
answered。　〃What　is　it？〃

〃I'm　afraid　we　have　been　followed；　Miss。〃

〃Followed？　By　whom？〃

〃By　t