poor miss finch-第78章

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heard　what　the　two　men　proposed　to　do　first。）

Oscar；　standing　hat　in　hand；　glanced　at　Mr。　Finch　（also　hat　in　hand）
keeping　obstinately　near　the　door。　If　he　persisted　in　carrying　out　his
purpose　of　going　alone　to　his　cousin's　house；　the　rector's　face　and
manner　expressed；　with　the　politest　plainness；　the　intention　of　following
him。　Oscar　was　placed　between　a　clergyman　and　a　woman；　both　equally
determined　to　have　their　own　way。　Under　those　circumstances；　there　was　no
alternativeunless　he　wished　to　produce　a　public　scandalbut　to　yield；
or　appear　to　yield；　to　one　or　the　other　of　us。　He　selected　me。

〃If　you　succeed　in　seeing　her；〃　he　asked；　〃what　do　you　mean　to　do？〃

〃I　mean　either　to　bring　her　back　with　me　here　to　her　father　and　to　you；
or　to　make　an　appointment　with　her　to　see　you　both　where　she　is　now
living；〃　I　replied。

Oscarafter　another　look　at　the　immovable　rectorrang　the　bell；　and
ordered　writing　materials。

〃One　more　question；〃　he　said。　〃Assuming　that　Lucilla　receives　you　at　the
house；　do　you　intend　to　see？〃　He　stopped；　his　eyes　shrank　from
meeting　mine。　〃Do　you　intend　to　see　anybody　else？〃　he　resumed：　still
evading　the　plain　utterance　of　his　brother's　name。

〃I　intend　to　see　nobody　but　Lucilla；〃　I　answered。　〃It　is　no　business　of
mine　to　interfere　between　you　and　your　brother。〃　（Heaven　forgive　me　for
speaking　in　that　way　to　him；　while　I　had　the　firm　resolution　to　interfere
between　them　in　my　mind　all　the　time！）

〃Write　your　letter；〃　he　said；　〃on　condition　that　I　see　the　reply。〃

〃It　is　needless；　I　presume；　for　me　to　make　the　same　stipulation？〃　added
the　rector。　〃In　my　parental　capacity

I　recognized　his　parental　capacity；　before　he　could　say　any　more。　〃You
shall　both　see　the　reply；〃　I　saidand　sat　down　to　my　letter；　writing
merely　what　I　had　told　them　I　should　write：　〃Dear　Lucilla；　I　have　just
returned　from　the　Continent。　For　the　sake　of　justice；　and　for　the　sake　of
old　times；　let　me　see　you　immediatelywithout　mentioning　our　appointment
to　anybody。　I　pledge　myself　to　satisfy　you；　in　five　minutes；　that　I　have
never　been　unworthy　of　your　affection　and　your　confidence。　The　bearer
waits　for　your　reply。〃

I　handed　those　lines　to　the　two　gentlemen　to　read。　Mr。　Finch　made　no
remarkhe　was　palpably　dissatisfied　at　the　secondary　position　which　he
occupied。　Oscar　said；　〃I　see　no　objection　to　the　letter。　I　will　do
nothing　until　I　have　read　the　answer。〃　With　those　words；　he　dictated　to
me　his　cousin's　address。　I　gave　the　letter　myself　to　one　of　the　servants
at　the　hotel。

〃Is　it　far　from　here？〃　I　asked。

〃Barely　ten　minutes'　walk；　ma'am。〃

〃You　understand　that　you　are　to　wait　for　an　answer？〃

〃Yes；　ma'am。〃

He　went　out。　As　well　as　I　can　remember；　an　interval　of　at　least　half　an
hour　passed　before　his　return。　You　will　form　some　idea　of　the　terrible
oppression　of　suspense　that　now　laid　its　slowly…torturing　weight　on　all
three　of　us；　when　I　tell　you　that　not　one　word　was　spoken　in　the　room
from　the　time　when　the　servant　went　out；　to　the　time　when　the　servant
came　in　again。

When　the　man　returned　he　had　a　letter　in　his　hand！

My　fingers　shook　so　that　I　could　hardly　open　it。　Before　I　had　read　a
word；　the　sight　of　the　writing　struck　a　sudden　chill　through　me。　The　body
of　the　note　was　written　by　the　hand　of　a　stranger！　And　the　signature　at
the　end　was　traced　in　the　large　straggling　childish　characters　which　I
remembered　so　well；　when　Lucilla　had　written　her　first　letter　to　Oscar　in
the　days　when　she　was　blind！

The　note　was　expressed　in　these　strange　words：〃I　cannot　receive　you
here；　but　I　can；　and　will；　come　to　you　at　your　hotel　if　you　will　wait　for
me。　I　am　not　able　to　appoint　a　time。　I　can　only　promise　to　watch　for　my
first　opportunity；　and　to　take　advantage　of　it　instantlyfor　your　sake
and　for　mine。〃

But　one　interpretation　could　be　placed　on　such　language　as　this。　Lucilla
was　not　a　free　agent。　Both　Oscar　and　the　rector　were　now　obliged　to
acknowledge　that　my　view　of　the　case　had　been　the　correct　one。　If　it　was
impossible　for　me　to　be　received　into　the　house；　how　doubly　impossible
would　it　be　for　the　men　to　gain　admission！　Oscar；　after　reading　the　note；
withdrew　to　the　further　end　of　the　room；　keeping　his　thoughts　to　himself。
Mr。　Finch　decided　on　stepping　out　of　his　secondary　position　by　forthwith
taking　a　course　of　his　own。

〃Am　I　to　infer；〃　he　began；　〃that　it　is　really　useless　for　me　to　attempt
to　see　my　own　child？〃

〃Her　letter　speaks　for　itself；〃　I　replied。　〃If　you　attempt　to　see　her；
you　will　probably　be　the　means　of　preventing　your　daughter　from　coming
here。〃

〃In　my　parental　capacity；〃　continued　Mr。　Finch；　〃it　is　impossible　for　me
to　remain　passive。　As　a　brother…clergyman；　I　have；　I　conceive；　a　claim　on
the　rector　of　the　parish。　It　is　quite　likely　that　notice　may　have　been
already　given　of　this　fraudulent　marriage。　In　that　case；　it　is　not　only
my　duty　to　myself　and　my　childit　is　my　duty　to　the　Church；　to　confer
with　my　reverend　colleague。　I　go　to　confer　with　him。〃　He　strutted　to　the
door；　and　added；　〃If　Lucilla　arrives　in　my　absence；　I　invest　you　with　my
authority；　Madame　Pratolungo；　to　detain　her　until　my　return。〃　With　that
parting　charge　to　me；　he　walked　out。

I　looked　at　Oscar。　He　came　slowly　towards　me　from　the　other　end　of　the
room。

〃You　will　wait　here；　of　course？〃　he　said。

〃Of　course。　And　you？〃

〃I　shall　go　out　for　a　little　while。〃

〃For　any　particular　purpose？〃

〃No。　To　get　through　the　time。　I　am　weary　of　waiting。〃

I　felt　positively　assured；　from　the　manner　in　which　he　answered　me；　that
he　was　goingnow　he　had　got　rid　of　Mr。　Finchstraight　to　his　cousin's
house。

〃You　forget；〃　I　said；　〃that　Lucilla　may　come　here　while　you　are　out。　Your
presence　in　the　room；　or　in　the　room　next　to　this；　may　be　of　the　greatest
importance；　when　I　tell　her　what　your　brother　has　done。　Suppose　she
refuses　to　believe　me？　What　am　I　to　do　if　I　have　not　got　you　to　appeal
to？　In　your　own　interests；　as　well　as　in　Lucilla's；　I　request　you　to
remain　here　with　me　till　she　comes。〃

Putting　it　on　that　ground　only；　I　waited　to　see　what　he　would　do。　After　a
certain　hesitation；　he　answered　with　a　sullen　assumption　of　indifference；
〃Just　as　you　please！〃and　walked　away　again　towards　the　other　end　of　the
room。　As　he　turned　his　back　on　me；　I　heard　him　say　to　himself；　〃It's　only
waiting　a　little　longer！〃

〃Waiting　for　what？〃　I　asked。

He　looked　round　at　me　over　his　shoulder。

〃Patience　for　the　present！〃　he　answered。　〃You　will　hear　soon　enough。〃　For
the　moment；　I　said　no　more　to　him。　The　tone　in　which　he　had　replied
warned　me　that　it　would　be　useless。

After　an　intervalhow　long　an　interval　I　cannot　well　sayI　heard　the
sound　of　women's　dresses　in　the　passage　outside。

The　instant　after；　there　was　a　knock　at　the　door。

I　signed　to　Oscar　to　open　a　second　door；　close　by　him　at　the　lower　end　of
the　room；　and　（for　the　moment　at　least）　to　keep　out　of　sight。　Then　I
answered　the　knock；　and　said　as　steadily　as　I　could；　〃Come　in。〃

A　woman　unknown　to　me　entered；　dressed　like　a　respectable　servant。　She
came　in　leading　Lucilla　by　the　hand。　My　first　look　at　my　darling　told　me
the　horrible　truth。　As　I　had　seen　her　in　the　corridor　at　the　rectory　on
the　first　day　we　met；　so　I　now　saw　her　once　more。　Again；　the　sightless
eyes　turned　on　me；　insensibly　reflecting　the　light　that　fell　on　them。
Blind！　Oh；　God；　after　a　few　brief　weeks　of　sight；　blind　again！

In　that　miserable　discovery；　I　forgot　everything　else。　I　flew　to　her；　and
caught　her　in　my　arms。　I　cast　one　look　at　her　pale；　wasted　faceand
burst　out　crying　on　her　bosom。

She　held　my　head　gently　with　one　hand；　and　waited　with　the　patience　of　an
angel　until　that　first　outbreak　of　my　grief　had　exhausted　itself。　〃Don't
cry　about　my　blindness；〃　said　the　soft；　sweet　voice　that　I　knew　so　well。
〃The　days　when　I　had　my　sight　have　been　the　unhappiest　days　of　my　life。
If　I　look　as　if　I　had　been　fretting；　don't　think　it　is　about　my　eyes。〃
She　paused；　and　sighed　bitterly。　〃I　may　tell　_you；_〃　she　went　on　in　a
whisper。　〃It's　a　relief；　it's　a　consolation；　to　tell　_you。_　I　am　fretting
about　my　marriage。〃

Those　words　roused　me。　I　lifted　my　head；　and　kissed　her。　〃I　have　come
back　to　comfort　you；〃　I　said：　〃and　I　have　behaved　like　a　fool。〃

She　smiled　faintly。　〃How　like　you；〃　she　exclaimed；　〃to　say　that！〃　She
tapped　my　cheek　with　her　fingers　in　the　old　familiar　way。　The　repetition
of　that　little　trifling　action　almost　broke　my　heart。　I　nearly　choked
myself　in　forcing　back　the　stupid　cowardly　useless　tears　that　tried　to
burst　from　me　again。　〃Come！〃　she　said。　〃No　more　crying！　Let　us　sit　down
and　talk　as　if　we　were　at　Dimchurch。〃

I　took　her　to　the　sofa：　we　sat　side　by　side。　She　put　her　arm　round　my
waist；　and　laid　her　head　on　my　shoulder。　Again　the　faint　smile　flickered
like　a　dying　light　on　her　lovely　face；　wan　and　wasted；　yet　still
beautifulstill　the　Virgin's　face　in　Raphael's　picture。　〃We　are　a
strange　pair；〃　she　said；　with　a　momentary　flash　of　her　old　irresistible
humour。　〃You　are　my　bitterest　enemy；　and　you　burst　out　crying　over　me　the
moment　we　meet。　I　have　been　shockingly　treated　by　youand　I　have　got　my
arm　round　your　waist　and　my　head　on　your　shoulder；　and　I　wouldn't　let　go
of　you　for　the　world！〃　Her　face　saddened　again；　her　voice　suddenly
altered　its　tone。　〃Tell　me；〃　she　went　on；　〃how　is　it　that　appearances
were　so　terribly　against　you？　Oscar　satisfied　me；　at　Ramsgate；　that　I
ought　to　give　you　up；　that　I　ought　never　to　see　you　again。　I　took　his
viewthere　is　no　denying　it；　my　dearI　agreed　with　him　in　detesting
you；　for　a　little　while。　But；　when　the　blindness　came　back；　I　could　keep
it　up　no　longer。　Little　by　little；　as　the　light　died　out；　my　heart
_would_　turn　to　you　again。　When　I　heard　your　letter　read；　when　I　knew
that　you　were　near　meit　was　just　like　the　old　times；　I　was　mad　to　see
you。　And　here　I　amsatisfied；　before　you　explain　it　to　me；　that　you　have
been　the　victim　of　some　terrible　mistake。〃

I　tried；　in　grateful　acknowledgment　of　those　generous　words；　to　enter　on
my　justification　there　and　then。　It　was　impossible。　I　could　think　of
nothing；　I　could　speak　of　nothing；　but　the　dreadful　discovery　of　her
blindness。

〃Give　me　a　few　minutes；〃　I　said；　〃and　you　shall　hear　it　all。　I　can't　talk
of　myself；　yetI　can　only　talk　of　you。　Oh；　Lucilla；　why　did　you　keep
away　from　Grosse？　Come　with　me　to　him　to…day。　Let　him　try　what　he　can　do。
At　once；　my　lovebefore　it　is　too　late！〃

〃It　_is_　too　late；〃　she　said。　〃I　have　been　to　another　oculista
stranger。　He　said；　what　Mr。　Sebright　said：　he　doubted　if　there　was　ever
any　chance　for　me：　he　thought　the　operation　ought　never　to　have　been
performed。〃

〃Why　did　you　go　to　a　stranger？〃　I　asked。　〃Why　did　you　give　up　Grosse！〃

〃You　must　ask　Oscar；〃　she　answered。　〃It　was　at　his　desire　that　I　kept
away　from　Grosse。〃

Hearing　this；　I　penetrated　for　myself　the　motive　which　had　actuated
Nugentas　I　afterwards　found　it　indicated　in　the　Journal。　If　he　had　let
Lucilla　go　to　Grosse；　our　good　German　might　have　noticed　that　her
position　was　preying　on　her　mind；　and　might　have　seen　his　reasons　for
exposing　the　deception　that　Nugent　was　practicing　on　her。　For　the　rest；　I
still　persisted　in　entreating　Lucilla　to　go　back　with　me　t