poor miss finch-第74章

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I　felt　my　disappointment　bitterly；　when　I　found　that　you　had　really　no
news　to　tell；　and　when　you　spoke　of　Nugent　as　you　did。〃　He　stopped；　and
pressed　my　arm　earnestly。　〃Suppose　I　am　right　about　Miss　Finch's　letter？'
he　added。　〃Suppose　it　should　really　be　waiting　for　you　at　the　post？〃

〃Well？〃

〃The　letter　may　contain　the　news　which　I　most　want　to　hear。〃

I　checked　him　there。　〃I　am　not　sure　of　that；〃　I　answered。　〃I　don't　know
what　it　is　that　you　most　want　to　hear。〃

I　said　those　words　with　a　purpose。　What　was　the　news　he　was　longing　for？
In　spite　of　all　that　he　had　told　me；　my　instincts　answered：　News　that
Lucilla　is　still　a　single　woman。　My　object　in　speaking　as　I　had　just
spoken；　was　to　tempt　him　into　a　reply　which　might　confirm　me　in　this
opinion。　He　evaded　the　reply。　Was　that　confirmation　in　itself？　Yesas
_I_　think！

〃Will　you　tell　me　what　there　is　in　the　letter？〃　he　askedpassing；　as　you
see；　entirely　over　what　I　had　just　said　to　him。

〃Yesif　you　wish　it；〃　I　answered：　not　over　well　pleased　with　his　want　of
confidence　in　me。

〃No　matter　what　the　letter　contains？〃　he　went　on；　evidently　doubting　me。

I　said　Yes；　againthat　one　word；　and　no　more。

〃I　suppose　it　would　be　asking　too　much；〃　he　persisted；　〃to　ask　you　to　let
me　read　the　letter　myself？〃

My　temper；　as　you　are　well　aware　by　this　time；　is　not　the　temper　of　a
saint。　I　drew　my　arm　smartly　out　of　his　arm；　and　I　surveyed　him　with；
what　poor　Pratolungo　used　to　call；　〃my　Roman　look。〃

〃Mr。　Oscar　Dubourg！　say；　in　plain　words；　that　you　distrust　me。〃

He　protested　of　course　that　he　did　nothing　of　the　kindwithout　producing
the　slightest　effect　on　me。　Just　run　over　in　your　mind　the　insults；
worries；　and　anxieties　which　had　assailed　me；　as　the　reward　for　my
friendly　interest　in　this　man's　welfare。　Or；　if　that　is　too　great　an
effort；　be　so　good　as　to　remember　that　Lucilla's　farewell　letter　to　me　at
Dimchurch；　was　now　followed　by　the　equally　ungracious　expression　of
Oscar's　distrustand　this　at　a　time　when　I　had　had　serious　trials　of　my
own　to　sustain　at　my　father's　bedside。　I　think　you　will　admit　that　a
sweeter　temper　than　mine　might　have　not　unnaturally　turned　a　little　sour
under　present　circumstances。

I　answered　not　a　word　to　Oscar's　protestationsI　only　searched
vehemently　in　the　pocket　of　my　dress。

〃Here；〃　I　said；　opening　my　card…case；　〃is　my　address　in　this　place；　and
here；〃　I　went　on；　producing　the　document；　〃is　my　passport；　if　they　want
it。〃

I　forced　the　card　and　the　passport　into　his　hands。　He　took　them　in
helpless　astonishment。

〃What　am　I　to　do　with　these？〃　he　asked。

〃Take　them　to　the　Poste…Restante。　If　there　is　a　letter　for　me　with　the
Dimchurch　post…mark；　I　authorize　you　to　open　it。　Read　it　before　it　comes
into　my　handsand　then　perhaps　you　will　be　satisfied？〃

He　declared　that　he　would　do　nothing　of　the　sortand　tried　to　force　my
documents　back　into　my　own　possession。

〃Please　yourself；〃　I　said。　〃I　have　done　with　you　and　your　affairs。　Mrs。
Finch's　letter　is　of　no　earthly　consequence　to　me。　If　it　_is_　at　the
Poste…Restante；　I　shall　not　trouble　myself　to　ask　for　it。　What　concern
have　I　with　news　about　Lucilla？　What　does　it　matter　to　_me_　whether　she
is　married　or　not？　I　am　going　back　to　my　father　and　my　sisters。　Decide
for　yourself　whether　you　want　Mrs。　Finch's　letter　or　not。〃

That　settled　it。　He　went　his　way　with　my　documents　to　the　post…office；
and　I　went　mine　back　to　the　lodging。

Arrived　in　my　room；　I　still　held　to　the　resolution　which　I　had　expressed
to　Oscar　in　the　street。　Why　should　I　leave　my　poor　old　father　to　go　back
to　England；　and　mix　myself　up　in　Lucilla's　affairs？　After　the　manner　in
which　she　had　taken　her　leave　of　me；　had　I　any　reasonable　prospect　of
being　civilly　received？　Oscar　was　on　his　way　to　Englandlet　Oscar　manage
his　own　affairs；　let　them　all　three　（Oscar；　Nugent；　Lucilla）　fight　it　out
together　among　themselves。　What　had　I；　Pratolungo's　widow；　to　do　with
this　trumpery　family　entanglement？　Nothing！　It　was　a　warm　day　for　the
time　of　yearPratolungo's　widow；　like　a　wise　woman；　determined　to　make
herself　comfortable。　She　unlocked　her　packed　box；　she　removed　her
traveling　costume；　and　put　on　her　dressing…gown；　she　took　a　turn　in　the
roomand；　if　you　had　come　across　her　at　that　moment；　I　wouldn't　have
stood　in　your　shoes　for　something；　I　can　tell　you！

（What　do　you　think　of　my　consistency　by　this　time？　How　often　have　I
changed　my　mind　about　Lucilla　and　Oscar？　Reckon　it　up；　from　the　time　when
I　left　Dimchurch。　What　a　picture　of　perpetual　self…contradiction　I
presentand　how　improbable　it　is　that　I　should　act　in　this　illogical
way！　_You_　never　alter　your　mind　under　the　influence　of　your　temper　or
your　circumstances。　No：　you　are；　what　they　call；　a　consistent　character。
And　I？　Oh；　I　am　only　a　human　beingand　I　feel　painfully　conscious　that　I
have　no　business　to　be　in　a　book。）

In　about　half　an　hour's　time；　the　servant　appeared　with　a　little　paper
parcel　for　me。　It　had　been　left　by　a　stranger　with　an　English　accent　and
a　terrible　face。　He　had　announced　his　intention　of　calling　a　little
later。　The　servant；　a　bouncing　fat　wench；　trembled　as　she　repeated　the
message；　and　asked　if　there　was　anything　amiss　between　me　and　the　man
with　the　terrible　face。

I　opened　the　parcel。　It　contained　my　passport；　and；　sure　enough；　the
letter　from　Mrs。　Finch。　Had　he　opened　it？　Yes！　He　had　not　been　able　to
resist　the　temptation　to　read　it。　And　more；　he　had　written　a　line　or　two
on　it　in　pencil；　thus：〃As　soon　as　I　am　fit　to　see　you；　I　will　implore
your　pardon。　I　dare　not　trust　myself　in　your　presence　yet。　Read　the
letter；　and　you　will　understand　why。〃

I　opened　the　letter。

It　was　dated　the　fifth　of　September。　I　ran　over　the　first　few　sentences
carelessly　enough。　Thanks　for　my　lettercongratulations　on　my　father's
prospect　of　recoveryinformation　about　baby's　gums　and　the　rector's　last
sermonmore　information　about　somebody　else；　which　Mrs。　Finch　felt　quite
sure　would　interest　and　delight　me。　What！！！　〃Mr。　Oscar　Dubourg　has　come
back；　and　is　now　with　Lucilla　at　Ramsgate。〃

I　crumpled　the　letter　up　in　my　hand。　Nugent　had　justified　my　worst
anticipations　of　what　he　would　do　in　my　absence。　What　did　the　true　Mr。
Oscar　Dubourg；　reading　that　sentence　at　Marseilles；　think　of　his　brother
now？　We　are　all　mortalwe　are　all　wicked。　It　is　monstrous；　but　it　is
true。　I　had　a　moment's　triumph。

The　wicked　moment　gone；　I　was　good　againthat　is　to　say；　I　was　ashamed
of　myself。

I　smoothed　out　the　letter；　and　looked　eagerly　for　news　of　Lucilla's
health。　If　the　news　was　favorable；　my　letter　committed　to　Miss
Batchford's　care　must　have　been　shown　to　Lucilla　by　this　time；　must　have
exposed　Nugent's　abominable　personation　of　his　brother；　and　must　have
thus　preserved　her　for　Oscar。　In　that　case；　all　would　be　well　again　（and
my　darling　herself　would　own　it）thanks　to　Me！

After　telling　me　the　news　from　Ramsgate；　Mrs。　Finch　began　to　drift　into；
what　you　call；　Twaddle。　She　had　just　discovered　（exactly　as　Oscar　had
supposed）　that　she　had　lost　my　letter。　She　would　keep　her　own　letter　back
until　the　next　day；　on　the　chance　of　finding　it。　If　she　failed　she　must
try　Poste…Restante；　at　the　suggestion　（not　of　Mr。　Finchthere　I　was
wrong）at　the　suggestion　of　Zillah；　who　had　relatives　in　foreign　parts；
and　had　tried　Poste…Restante　in　her　case　too。　So　Mrs。　Finch　driveled
mildly　on；　in　her　large　loose　untidy　handwriting；　to　the　bottom　of　the
third　page。

I　turned　over。　The　handwriting　suddenly　grew　untidier　than　ever；　two
great　blots　defaced　the　paper；　the　style　became　feebly　hysterical。　Good
Heavens！　what　did　I　read　when　I　made　it　out　at　last！　See　for　yourselves；
here　are　the　words：　〃Some　hours　have　passedit　is　just　tea…time…oh；　my
dear　friend；　I　can　hardly　hold　the　pen；　I　tremble　sowould　you　believe
it；　Miss　Batchford　has　arrived　at　the　rectoryshe　brings　the　dreadful
news　that　Lucilla　has　eloped　with　Oscarwe　don't　know　whywe　don't　know
where；　except　that　they　have　gone　away　together　privatelya　letter　from
Oscar　tells　Miss　Batchford　as　much　as　that；　and　no　moreoh；　pray　come
back　as　soon　as　you　canMr。　Finch　washes　his　hands　of　itand　Miss
Batchford　has　left　the　house　again　in　a　fury　with　himI　am　in　dreadful
agitation；　and　I　have　given　it　Mr。　Finch　says　to　baby；　who　is　screaming
black　in　the　face。　Yours　affectionately；

〃AMELIA　FINCH。〃



All　the　rages　I　had　ever　been　in　before　in　my　life　were　as　nothing
compared　with　the　rage　that　devoured　me　when　I　had　read　that　fourth　page
of　Mrs。　Finch's　letter。　Nugent　had　got　the　better　of　me　and　my
precautions！　Nugent　had　robbed　his　brother　of　Lucilla；　in　the　vilest
manner；　with　perfect　impunity！　I　cast　all　feminine　restraints　to　the
winds。　I　sat　down　with　my　legs　anyhow；　like　a　man。　I　rammed　my　hands　into
the　pockets　of　my　dressing…gown。　Did　I　cry？　A　word　in　your　earand　let
it　go　no　farther。　I　swore。

How　long　the　fit　lasted；　I　don't　know。　I　only　remember　that　I　was
disturbed　by　a　knock　at　my　door。

I　flung　open　the　door　in　a　furyand　confronted　Oscar　on　the　threshold。

There　was　a　look　in　his　face　that　instantly　quieted　me。　There　was　a　tone
in　his　voice　that　brought　the　tears　suddenly　into　my　eyes。

〃I　must　leave　for　England　in　two　hours；〃　he　said。　〃Will　you　forgive　me；
Madame　Pratolungo；　before　I　go？〃

Only　those　words！　And　yetif　you　had　seen　him；　if　you　had　heard　him；　as
he　spoke　themyou　would　have　been　ready　as　I　wasnot　only　to　forgive
himbut　to　go　to　the　ends　of　the　earth　with　him；　and　you　would　have　told
him　so；　as　I　did。

In　two　hours　more；　we　were　in　the　train；　on　our　way　to　England。


CHAPTER　THE　FORTY…SEVENTH

On　the　Way　to　the　End。　First　Stage

You　will　perhaps　expect　me　to　give　some　account　of　how　Oscar　bore　the
discovery　of　his　brother's　conduct。

I　find　it　by　no　means　easy　to　do　this。　Oscar　baffled　me。

The　first　words　of　any　importance　which　he　addressed　to　me　were　spoken　on
our　way　to　the　station。　Rousing　himself　from　his　own　thoughts；　he　said
very　earnestly

〃I　want　to　know　what　conclusion　you　have　drawn　from　Mrs。　Finch's　letter。〃

Naturally　enough；　under　the　circumstances；　I　tried　to　avoid　answering
him。　He　was　not　to　be　put　off　in　that　way。

〃You　will　do　me　a　favor；〃　he　went　on；　〃if　you　will　reply　to　my　question。
The　letter　has　bred　in　me　such　a　vile　suspicion　of　my　dear　good　brother；
who　never　deceived　me　in　his　life；　that　I　would　rather　believe　I　am　out
of　my　mind　than　believe　in　my　own　interpretation　of　it。　Do　_you_　infer
from　what　Mrs。　Finch　writes；　that　Nugent　has　presented　himself　to　Lucilla
under　my　name？　Do　_you_　believe　that　he　has　persuaded　her　to　leave　her
friends；　under　the　impression　that　she　has　yielded　to　My　entreaties；　and
trusted　herself　to　My　care？〃

I　answered　in　the　fewest　and　plainest　words；　〃That　is　what　your　brother
has　done。〃

A　sudden　change　passed　over　him。　My　reply　seemed　to　have　set　his　last
doubts　at　rest　in　an　instant。

〃That　is　what　my　brother　has　done；〃　he　repeated。　〃After　all　that　I
sacrificed　to　himafter　all　that　I　trusted　to　his　honorwhen　I　left
England。〃　He　paused；　and　considered　a　little。　〃What　does　such　a　man
deserve？〃　he　went　on；　speaking　to　himself；　in　a　low　threatening　tone　that
startled　me。

〃He　deserves；〃　I　said；　〃wha