poor miss finch-第21章

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of　the　rectory　at　the　turn　in　the　road　to　Brighton。　My　natural　firmness
deserted　me；　I　felt　torturing　presentiments　that　some　great　misfortune
would　happen　in　my　absence；　I　astonished　myselfI；　the　widow　of　the
Spartan　Pratolungo！by　having　a　good　cry；　like　any　other　woman。

Sooner　or　later；　we　susceptible　people　pay　with　the　heartache　for　the
privilege　of　loving。　No　matter：　heartache　or　not；　one　must　have　something
to　love　in　this　world　as　long　as　one　lives　in　it。　I　have　lived　in
itnever　mind　how　many　yearsand　I　have　got　Lucilla。　Before　Lucilla　I
had　the　Doctor。　Before　the　Doctorah；　my　friends；　we　won't　look　back
beyond　the　Doctor！

CHAPTER　THE　NINETEENTH

Second　Result　of　the　Robbery

THE　history　of　my　proceedings　in　Paris　can　be　dismissed　in　a　very　few
words。　It　is　only　necessary　to　dwell　in　detail　on　one　among　the　many
particulars　which　connect　themselves　in　my　memory　with　the　rescue　of　good
Papa。

The　affair；　this　time；　assumed　the　gravest　possible　aspect。　The　venerable
victim　had　gone　the　length　of　renewing　his　youth；　in　respect　of　his
teeth；　his　hair；　his　complexion；　and　his　figure　（this　last　involving　the
purchase　of　a　pair　of　stays）。　I　declare　I　hardly　knew　him　again；　he　was
so　outrageously　and　unnaturally　young。　The　utmost　stretch　of　my　influence
was　exerted　over　him　in　vain。　He　embraced　me　with　the　most　touching
fervour；　he　expressed　the　noblest　sentimentsbut　in　the　matter　of　his
contemplated　marriage；　he　was　immovable。　Life　was　only　tolerable　to　him
on　one　condition。　The　beloved　object；　or　deathsuch　was　the　programme　of
this　volcanic　old　man。

To　make　the　prospect　more　hopeless　still；　the　beloved　object　proved；　on
this　occasion；　to　be　a　bold　enough　woman　to　play　her　trump　card　at
starting。

I　give　the　jade　her　due。　She　assumed　a　perfectly　unassailable　attitude：
we　had　her　full　permission　to　break　off　the　matchif　we　could。　〃I　refer
you　to　your　father。　Pray　understand　that　I　don't　wish　to　marry　him；　if
his　daughters　object　to　it。　He　has　only　to　say；　'Release　me。'　From　that
moment　he　is　free。〃　There　was　no　contending　against　such　a　system　of
defence　as　this。　We　knew　as　well　as　she　did　that　our　fascinated　parent
would　not　say　the　word。　Our　one　chance　was　to　spend　money　in
investigating　the　antecedent　indiscretions　of　the　lady's　life；　and　to
produce　against　her　proof　so　indisputable　that　not　even　an　old　man's
infatuation　could　say；　This　is　a　lie。

We　disbursed；　we　investigated；　we　secured　our　proof。　It　took　a　fortnight。
At　the　end　of　that　time；　we　had　the　necessary　materials　in　hand　for
opening　the　eyes　of　good　Papa。

In　the　course　of　the　inquiry　I　was　brought　into　contact　with　many　strange
peopleamong　others；　with　a　man　who　startled　me；　at　our　first　interview；
by　presenting　a　personal　deformity；　which；　with　all　my　experience　of　the
world；　I　now　saw　oddly　enough　for　the　first　time。

The　man's　face；　instead　of　exhibiting　any　of　the　usual　shades　of
complexion；　was　hideously　distinguished　by　a　superhumanI　had　almost
said　a　devilishcolouring　of　livid　blackish　_blue！_　He　proved　to　be　a
most　kind；　intelligent；　and　serviceable　person。　But　when　we　first
confronted　each　other；　his　horrible　color　so　startled　me；　that　I　could
not　repress　a　cry　of　alarm。　He　not　only　passed　over　my　involuntary　act　of
rudeness　in　the　most　indulgent　mannerhe　explained　to　me　the　cause　which
had　produced　his　peculiarity　of　complexion；　so　as　to　put　me　at　my　ease
before　we　entered　on　the　delicate　private　inquiry　which　had　brought　us
together。

〃I　beg　your　pardon；〃　said　this　unfortunate　man；　〃for　not　having　warned
you　of　my　disfigurement；　before　I　entered　the　room。　There　are　hundreds　of
people　discolored　as　I　am；　in　the　various　parts　of　the　civilized　world；
and　I　supposed　that　you　had　met；　in　the　course　of　your　experience；　with
other　examples　of　my　case。　The　blue　tinge　in　my　complexion　is　produced　by
the　effect　on　the　blood　of　Nitrate　of　Silvertaken　internally。　It　is　the
only　medicine　which　relieves　sufferers　like　me　from　an　otherwise
incurable　malady。　We　have　no　alternative　but　to　accept　the　consequences
for　the　sake　of　the　cure。〃

He　did　not　mention　what　his　malady　had　been；　and　I　abstained；　it　is
needless　to　say；　from　questioning　him　further。　I　got　used　to　his
disfigurement　in　the　course　of　my　relations　with　him；　and　I　should　no
doubt　have　forgotten　my　blue　man　in　attending　to　more　absorbing　matters
of　interest；　if　the　effects　of　Nitrate　of　Silver　as　a　medicine　had　not
been　once　more　unexpectedly　forced　on　my　attention；　in　another　quarter；
and　under　circumstances　which　surprised　me　in　no　ordinary　degree。

Having　saved　Papa　on　the　brink　oflet　us　say；　his　twentieth　precipice；
it　was　next　necessary　to　stay　a　few　days　longer　and　reconcile　him　to　the
hardship　of　being　rescued　in　spite　of　himself。　You　would　have　been
greatly　shocked；　if　you　had　seen　how　he　suffered。　He　gnashed　his
expensive　teeth；　he　tore　his　beautifully　manufactured　hair。　In　the
fervour　of　his　emotions；　I　have　no　doubt　he　would　have　burst　his　new
staysif　I　had　not　taken　them　away；　and　sold　them　half…price；　and　made
（to　that　small　extent）　a　profit　out　of　our　calamity　to　set　against　the
loss。　Do　what　one　may　in　the　detestable　system　of　modern　society；　the
pivot　on　which　it　all　turns　is　Money。　Money；　when　you　are　saving　Freedom！
Money；　when　you　are　saving　Papa！　Is　there　no　remedy　for　this？　A　word　in
your　ear。　Wait　till　the　next　revolution！

During　the　time　of　my　absence；　I　had　of　course　corresponded　with　Lucilla。

Her　letters　to　mevery　sad　and　very　shortreported　a　melancholy　state
of　things　at　Dimchurch。　While　I　had　been　away；　the　dreadful　epileptic
seizures　had　attacked　Oscar　with　increasing　frequency　and　increasing
severity。　The　moment　I　could　see　my　way　to　getting　back　to　England；　I
wrote　to　Lucilla　to　cheer　her　with　the　intimation　of　my　return。　Two　days
only　before　my　departure　from　Paris；　I　received　another　letter　from　her。
I　was　weak　enough　to　be　almost　afraid　to　open　it。　Her　writing　to　me
again；　when　she　knew　that　we　should　be　re…united　at　such　an　early　date；
suggested　that　she　must　have　some　very　startling　news　to　communicate。　My
mind　misgave　me　that　it　would　prove　to　be　news　of　the　worst　sort。

I　summoned　courage　to　open　the　envelope。　Ah；　what　fools　we　are！　For　once
that　our　presentments　come　right；　they　prove　a　hundred　times　to　be　wrong。
Instead　of　distressing　me；　the　letter　delighted　me。　Our　gloomy　prospect
was　brightening　at　last。

Thusfeeling　her　way　over　the　paper；　in　her　large　childish
charactersLucilla　wrote：

〃DEAREST　FRIEND　AND　SISTER；I　cannot　wait　until　we　meet；　to　tell　you　my
good　news。　The　Brighton　doctor　has　been　dismissed；　and　a　doctor　from
London　has　been　tried　instead。　My　dear！　for　intellect　there　is　nothing
like　London。　The　new　man　sees；　thinks；　and　makes　up　his　mind　on　the　spot。
He　has　a　way　of　his　own　of　treating　Oscar's　case；　and　he　answers　for
curing　him　of　the　horrible　fits。　There　is　news　for　you！　Come　back；　and
let　us　jump　for　joy　together。　How　wrong　I　was　to　doubt　the　future！　Never；
never；　never　will　I　doubt　it　again。　This　is　the　longest　letter　I　have
ever　written。

〃Your　affectionate；

〃LUCILLA。〃

To　this；　a　postscript　was　added；　in　Oscar's　handwriting；　as　follows：

〃Lucilla　has　told　you　that　there　is　some　hope　for　me　at　last。　What　I
write　in　this　place　is　written　without　her　knowledgefor　your　private
ear　only。　Take　the　first　opportunity　you　can　find　of　coming　to　see　me　at
Browndown；　without　allowing　Lucilla　to　hear　of　it。　I　have　a　great　favor
to　ask　of　you。　My　happiness　depends　on　your　granting　it。　You　shall　know
what　it　is；　when　we　meet。

〃OSCAR。〃

This　postscript　puzzled　me。

It　was　not　in　harmony　with　the　implicit　confidence　which　I　had　observed
Oscar　to　place　habitually　in　Lucilla。　It　jarred　on　my　experience　of　his
character；　which　presented　him　to　me　as　the　reverse　of　a　reserved
secretive　man。　His　concealment　of　his　identity；　when　he　first　came　among
us；　had　been　a　forced　concealmentdue　entirely　to　his　horror　of　being
identified　with　the　hero　of　the　trial。　In　all　the　ordinary　relations　of
life；　he　was　open　and　unreserved　to　a　fault。　That　he　could　have　a　secret
to　keep　from　Lucilla；　and　to　confide　to　me；　was　something　perfectly
unintelligible　to　my　mind。　It　highly　excited　my　curiosity；　it　gave　me　a
new　reason　for　longing　to　get　back。

I　was　able　to　make　all　my　arrangements；　and　to　bid　adieu　to　my　father　and
my　sisters　on　the　evening　of　the　twenty…third。　Early　on　the　morning　of
the　twenty…fourth；　I　left　Paris；　and　reached　Dimchurch　in　time　for　the
final　festivities　in　celebration　of　Christmas　Eve。

The　first　hour　of　Christmas　Day　had　struck　on　the　clock　in　our　own　pretty
sitting…room；　before　I　could　prevail　upon　Lucilla　to　let　me　rest；　after
my　journey；　in　bed。　She　was　now　once　more　the　joyous　light…hearted
creature　of　our　happier　time；　and　she　had　so　much　to　say　to　me；　that　not
even　her　father　himself　（on　this　occasion）　could　have　talked　her　down。
The　next　morning　she　paid　the　penalty　of　exciting　herself　over…night。
When　I　went　into　her　room；　she　was　suffering　from　a　nervous　head…ache；
and　was　not　able　to　rise　at　her　usual　hour。　She　proposed　of　her　own
accord　that　I　should　go　alone　to　Browndown　to　see　Oscar　on　my　return。　It
is　only　doing　common　justice　to　myself　to　say　that　this　was　a　relief　to
me。　If　she　had　had　the　use　of　her　eyes；　my　conscience　would　have　been
easy　enoughbut　I　shrank　from　deceiving　my　dear　blind　girl；　even　in　the
slightest　things。

So；　with　Lucilla's　knowledge　and　approval；　I　went　to　Oscar　alone。

I　found　him　fretful　and　anxiousready　to　flame　out　into　one　of　his
sudden　passions；　on　the　smallest　provocation。　Not　the　slightest
reflection　of　Lucilla's　recovered　cheerfulness　appeared　in　Lucilla's
lover。

〃Has　she　said　anything　to　you　about　the　new　doctor？〃　were　the　first　words
he　addressed　to　me。

〃She　has　told　me　that　she　feels　the　greatest　faith　in　him；〃　I　answered。
〃She　firmly　believes　that　he　speaks　the　truth　in　saying　he　can　cure　you。〃

〃Did　she　show　any　curiosity　to　know　_how_　he　is　curing　me？〃

〃Not　the　slightest　curiosity　that　I　could　see。　It　is　enough　for　her　that
you　_are_　to　be　cured。　The　rest　she　leaves　to　the　doctor。〃

My　last　answer　appeared　to　relieve　him。　He　sighed；　and　leaned　back　in　his
chair。　〃That's　right！〃　he　said　to　himself。　〃I'm　glad　to　hear　that。〃

〃Is　the　doctor's　treatment　of　you　a　secret？〃　I　asked。

〃It　must　be　a　secret　from　Lucilla；〃　he　said；　speaking　very　earnestly。　〃If
she　attempts　to　find　it　out；　she　must　be　keptfor　the　present；　at
leastfrom　all　knowledge　of　it。　Nobody　has　any　influence　over　her　but
you。　I　look　to　you　to　help　me。〃

〃Is　this　the　favor　you　had　to　ask　me？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃Am　I　to　know　the　secret　of　the　medical　treatment？〃

〃Certainly！　How　can　I　expect　you　to　help　me　unless　you　know　what　a
serious　reason　there　is　for　keeping　Lucilla　in　the　dark。〃

He　laid　a　strong　emphasis　on　the　two　words　〃serious　reason。　I　began　to
feel　a　little　uneasy。　I　had　never　yet　taken　the　slightest　advantage　of　my
poor　Lucilla's　blindness。　And　here　was　her　promised　husbandof　all　the
people　in　the　worldproposing　to　me　to　keep　her　in　the　dark。

〃Is　the　new　doctor's　treatment　dangerous？〃　I　inquired。

〃Not　in　the　least。〃

〃Is　it　not　so