the choir invisible-第26章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


ighty　race；　no　one　of　you　would　be　here　this　day　to　worship　the　God　of　your　fathers　in　the　faith　of　your　fathers。　The　victory　upon　which　you　are　entering　at　last　is　never　the　reward　of　the　feeble；　the　cowardly；　the　faint…hearted。　Out　of　your　strength　alone　you　have　won　your　peace。

〃But；　O　my　brethren；　while　your　land　is　now　at　peace；　are　you　at　peace？　In　the　name　of　my　Master；　look　each　of　you　into　his　heart　and　answer：　Is　it　not　still　a　wilderness？　full　of　the　wild　beasts　of　the　appetites？　the　favourite　hunting…ground　of　the　passions？　And　is　each　of　you；　tried　and　faithful　and　fearless　soldier　that　he　may　be　on　every　other　field；　is　each　of　you　doing　anything　to　conquer　this？〃

〃My　cry　to…day　then　is　the　war…cry　of　the　spirit。　Subdue　the　wilderness　within　you！　Step　by　step；　little　by　little；　as　you　have　fought　your　way　across　this　land　from　the　Eastern　mountains　to　the　Western　river；　driven　out　every　enemy　and　now　hold　it　as　your　own；　begin　likewise　to　take　possession　of　the　other　until　in　the　end　you　may　rule　it　also。　If　you　are　feeble；　if　fainthearted；　if　you　do　not　bring　into　your　lonely；　silent；　unwitnessed　battles　every　virtue　that　you　have　relied　on　in　this　outward　warfare　of　twenty　years；　you　may　never　hope　to　come　forth　conquerors。　By　your　strength；　your　courage；　patience；　watchfulness；　constancy；by　the　in…most　will　and　beholden　face　of　victory　you　are　to　overmaster　the　evil　within　yourselves　as　you　have　overmastered　the　peril　in　Kentucky。〃

〃Then　in　truth　you　may　dwell　in　green　and　tranquil　pastures；　where　the　will　of　God　broods　like　summer　light。　Then　you　may　come　to　realize　the　meaning　of　this　promise　of　our　Lord；　'My　peace　I　give　unto　you'：　it　is　the　gift　of　His　peace　to　those　alone　who　have　learned　to　hold　in　quietness　their　land　of　the　spirit。〃

White；　cold；　aflame　with　holiness；　he　stood　before　them；　and　every　beholder；　awe…stricken　by　the　vision　of　that　face；　of　a　surety　was　thinking　that　this　man's　life　was　behind　his　speech：　whether　in　ease　or　agony；　he　had　found　for　his　nature　that　victory　of　rest　that　was　never　to　be　taken　from　him。

But　even　as　he　stood　thus；　the　white　splendour　faded　from　his　countenance；　leaving　it　shadowed　with　care。　In　one　corner　of　the　room；　against　the　wall；　shielding　his　face　from　the　light　of　the　window　with　his　big　black　hat　and　the　palm　of　his　hand；　sat　the　school…master。　He　was　violently　flushed；　his　eyes　swollen　and　cloudy；　his　hair　tossed；　his　linen　rumpled；　his　posture　bespeaking　wretchedness　and　self…abandonment。　　Always　in　preaching　the　parson　had　looked　for　the　face　of　his　friend；　always　it　had　been　his　mainstay；　interpreter；　steadfast　advocate　in　every　plea　for　perfection　of　life。　But　to…day　it　had　been　kept　concealed　from　him；　nor　until　he　had　reached　his　closing　exhortation；　had　the　school…master　once　looked　him　in　the　eye；　and　he　had　done　so　then　in　a　most　remarkable　manner：　snatching　the　hat　from　before　his　face；　straightening　his　big　body　up；　and　transfixing　him　with　an　expression　of　such　resentment　and　reproach；　that　among　all　the　wild　faces　before　him；　he　could　see　none　to　match　this　one　for　disordered　and　evil　passion。　If　he　could　have　harboured　a　conviction　so　monstrous；　he　would　have　said　that　his　words　had　pierced　the　owner　of　that　face　like　a　spear　and　that　he　was　writhing　under　the　torture。

As　soon　as　he　had　pronounced　the　benediction　he　looked　toward　the　corner　again；　but　the　school…master　had　already　left　the　room。　Usually　he　waited　until　the　others　were　gone　and　the　two　men　walked　homeward　together；　discussing　the　sermon。

To…day　the　others　slowly　scattered；　and　the　parson　sat　alone　at　the　tipper　end　of　the　room　disappointed　and　troubled。

John　strode　up　to　the　door。

〃Are　you　ready？〃　he　asked　in　a　curt　unnatural　voice。

〃Ah！〃　The　parson　sprang　up　gladly。　〃I　was　hoping　you'd　come！〃

They　started　slowly　off　along　the　path；　John　walking　unconsciously　in　it；　the　parson　stumbling　along　through　the　grass　and　weeds　on　one　side。　　It　had　been　John's　unvarying　wont　to　yield　the　path　to　him。

〃It　is　easy　to　preach；〃　he　muttered　with　gloomy；　sarcastic　emphasis。

〃If　you　tried　it　once；　you　might　think　it　easier　to　practise；〃　retorted　the　parson；　laughing。

〃It　might　be　easier　to　one　who　is　not　tempted。〃

〃It　might　be　easier　to　one　who　is。　No　man　is　tempted　beyond　his　strength；　but　a　sermon　is　often　beyond　his　powers。　I　let　you　know；　young　man；　that　a　homily　may　come　harder　than　a　virtue。〃

〃How　can　you　stand　up　and　preach　as　you've　been　preaching；　and　then　come　out　of　the　church　and　laugh　about　it！〃　cried　John　angrily。

〃I'm　not　laughing　about　what　I　preached　on；〃　replied　the　parson　with　gentleness。

〃You　are　in　high　spirits！　You　are　gay！　You　are　full　of　levity！〃

〃I　am　full　of　gladness。　I　am　happy：　is　that　a　sin？〃

John　wheeled　on　him；　stopping　short；　and　pointing　back　to　the　church：

〃Suppose　there'd　been　a　man　in　that　room　who　was　trying　to　some　temptationmore　terrible　than　you've　ever　known　anything　about。　You'd　made　him　feel　that　you　were　speaking　straight　at　him　…bidding　him　do　right　where　it　was　so　much　easier　to　do　wrong。　You　had　helped　him；　he　had　waited　to　see　you　alone；　hoping　to　get　more　help。　Then　suppose　he　had　found　you　as　you　are　nowfull　of　your　gladness！　He　wouldn't　have　believed　in　you！　He'd　have　been　hardened。〃

〃If　he'd　been　the　right　kind　of　man；〃　replied　the　parson；　quickly　facing　an　arraignment　had　the　rancour　of　denunciation；　〃he　ought　to　have　been　more　benefited　by　the　sight　of　a　glad　man　than　the　sound　of　a　sad　sermon。　He'd　have　found　in　me　a　man　who　practises　what　he　preaches：　I　have　conquered　my　wilderness。　But；　I　think；〃　he　added　more　gravely；　〃that　if　any　such　soul　had　come　to　me　in　his　trouble；　I　could　have　helped　him：　if　he　had　let　me　know　what　it　was；　he　would　have　found　that　I　could　understand；　could　sympathize。　Still；　I　don't　see　why　you　should　condemn　my　conduct　by　the　test　of　imaginary　cases。　I　suppose　I'm　happy　now　because　I'm　glad　to　be　with　you；〃　and　the　parson　looked　the　school…master　a　little　reproachfully　in　the　eyes。

〃And　do　you　think　I　have　no　troubles？〃　said　John；　his　lips　trembling。　　He　turned　away　and　the　parson　walked　beside　him。

〃You　have　two　troubles　to　my　certain　knowledge；〃　said　he　in　the　tone　of　one　bringing　forward　a　piece　of　critical　analysis　that　was　rather　mortifying　to　exhibit。　〃The　one　is　a　woman　and　the　other　is　John　Calvin。　　If　it's　Amy；　throw　it　off　and　be　a　man。　If　it's　Calvinism；　throw　it　off　and　become　an　Episcopalian。〃　He　laughed　out　despite　himself。

〃Did　you　ever　love　a　woman？〃　asked　John　gruffly。

〃Many　a　onein　the　state　of　the　first　Adam！〃

〃That's　the　reason　you　threw　it　off：　many　a　one！〃

〃Don't　you　know；〃　inquired　the　parson　with　an　air　of　exegetical　candour；　〃that　no　man　can　be　miserable　because　some　woman　or　other　has　flirted　his　friend？　That's　the　one　trouble　that　every　man　laughs　atwhen　it　happens　in　his　neighbourhood；　not　in　his　own　house！〃

The　school…master　made　no　reply。

〃Or　if　it　is　Calvin；〃　continued　the　parson；　〃thank　God；　I　can　now　laugh　at　him；　and　so　should　you！　Answer　me　one　question：　during　the　sermon；　weren't　you　thinking　of　the　case　of　a　man　born　in　a　wilderness　of　temptations　that　he　is　foreordained　never　to　conquer；　and　then　foreordained　to　eternal　damnation　because　he　didn't　conquer　it？〃

〃Nono！〃

〃Well；　you'd　better've　been　thinking　about　it！　For　that's　what　you　believe。　And　that's　what　makes　life　so　hard　and　bitter　and　gloomy　to　you。　I　know！　I　carried　Calvinism　around　within　me　once：　it　was　like　an　uncorked　ink…bottle　in　a　rolling　snowball：　the　farther　you　go；　the　blacker　you　get！　Admit　it　now；〃　he　continued　in　his　highest　key　of　rarefied　persistency；　〃admit　that　you　were　mourning　over　the　babies　in　your　school　that　will　have　to　go　to　hell！　You'd　better　be　getting　some　of　your　own：　the　Lord　will　take　care　of　other　people's！　Go　to　see　Mrs。　Falconer！　See　all　you　can　of　her。　There's　a　woman　to　bring　you　around！〃

They　had　reached　the　little　bridge　over　the　clear；　swift　Elkhorn。　Their　paths　diverged。　John　stopped　at　his　companion's　last　words；　and　stood　looking　at　him　with　some　pity。

〃I　thank　you　for　your　sermon；〃　he　said　huskily；　〃I　hope　to　get　some　help　from　that。　But　you！you　are　making　things　harder　for　me　every　word　you　utter。　You　don't　understand　and　I　can't　tell　you。〃

He　took　the　parson's　cool　delicate　hand　in　his　big　hot　one。

Alone　in　the　glow　of　the　golden　dusk　of　that　day　he　was　sitting　outside　his　cabin　on　the　brow　of　the　hill；　overlooking　the　town　in　the　valley。　How　peaceful　it　lay　in　the　Sunday　evening　light！　The　burden　of　the　parson's　sermon　weighed　more　heavily　than　ever　on　his　spirit。　He　had　but　to　turn　his　eye　down　the　valley　and　there；　flashing　in　the　sheen　of　sunset；　flowed　the　great　spring；　around　the　margin　of　which　the　first　group　of　Western　hunters　had　camped　for　the　night　and　given　the　place　its　name　from　one　of　the　battle…fields　of　the　Revolution；　up　the　valley　he　could　see　the　roof　under　which　the　Virginia　aristocracy　of　the　Church　of　England　had　consecrated　their　first　poor　shrine。　What　history　lay　between　the　finding　of　that　spring　and　the　building　of　that　altar！　Not　the　winning　of　the　wilderness　simply；　not　alone　its　peace。　That　westward　penetrating　wedge　of　iron…browed；　iron…muscled；　iron…hearted　men；　who　were　now　beginning　to　be　known　as　the　Kentuckians；　had　not　only　cleft　a　road　for　themselves；　they　had　opened　a　fresh　highway　for　the　tread　of　the　nation　and　found　a　vaster　heaven　for　the　Star　of　Empire。　Already　this　youthful　gigantic　West　was　beginning　to　make　its　voice　heard　from　Quebec　to　New　Orleans　while　beyond　the　sea　the　three　greatest　kingdoms　of　Europe　had　grave　and　troubled　thoughts　of　the　on…rushing　power　it　foretokened　and　the　unimaginably　splendid　future　for　the　Anglo…Saxon　race　that　it　forecast。

He　recalled　the　ardour　with　which　he　had　followed　the　tramp　of　those　wild　Westerners；　footing　it　alone　from　the　crest　of　the　Cumberland；　subsisting　on　the　game　he　could　kill　by　the　roadside；　sleeping　at　night　on　his　rifle　in　some　thicket　of　underbrush　or　cane；　resolute　to　make　his　way　to　this　new　frontier　of　the　new　republic　in　the　new　world；　open　his　school；　read　law；　and　begin　his　practice；　and　cast　his　destiny　in　with　its　heroic　people。

And　now　this　was　the　last　Sunday　in　a　long　time；　perhaps　forever；　that　he　should　see　it　allthe　valley；　the　town；　the　evening　land；　resting　in　its　peace。　Before　the　end　of　another　week　his　horse　would　be　climbing　the　ranges　of　the　Alleghanies；　bearing　him　on　his　way　to　Mount　Vernon　and　thence　to　Philadelphia。　By　outward　compact　he　was　going　on　one　mission　for　the　Transylvania　Library　Committee　and　on　another　from　his　Democratic　Society　to　the　political　Clubs　of　the　East。　But　in　his　own　soul　he　knew　he　was　going　likewise　because　it　would　give　him　the　chance　to　fight　his　own　battle　out；　alone　and　far　away。

Fight　it　out　here；　he　felt　that　he　never　could。　He　could　neither　live　near　her　and　not　see　her；　nor　see　her　and　not　betray　the　truth。　His　whole　life　had　been　a　protest　against　the　concealment　either　of　his　genuine　dislikes　or　his　genuine　affections。　How　closely　he　had　come　to　the　tragedy　of　a　confession；　she　to　the　tragedy　of　an　understanding；　the　day　before！　Her　deathly　pallor　had　haunted　him　ever　sincethat　look　of　having　suffered　a　terrib