the choir invisible-第14章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


nd　will；　courage　and　courage；　strength　and　strength；　the　love　of　prey　and　the　love　of　life。It　was　well　for　him　that　this　was　not　the　first　time　he　had　ever　faced　death；　as　he　had　supposed；　and　that　the　first　thought　that　had　rushed　into　his　consciousness　before　returned　to　him　now。　That　thought　was　this：　that　death　had　come　far　too　soon；　putting　an　end　to　his　plans　to　live；　to　act；　to　succeed；　to　make　a　great　and　a　good　place　for　himself　in　this　world　before　he　should　leave　it　for　another。　Out　of　this　a　second　idea　now　liberated　itself　with　incredible　quickness　and　spread　through　him　like　a　living　flame：　it　was　his　lifelong　attitude　of　victory；　his　lifelong　determination　that　no　matter　what　opposed　him　he　must　conquer。　Young　as　he　was；　this　triumphant　habit　had　already　yielded　him　its　due　result　that　growth　of　character　which　arises　silently　within　us；　built　up　out　of　a　myriad　nameless　elementsbeginning　at　the　very　bottom　of　the　ocean　of　unconsciousness；　growing　as　from　cell　to　cell；　atom　to　atomthe　mere　dust　of　victorious　experiencethe　hardening　deposits　of　the　ever…living；　ever…working；　ever…rising　will；　until　at　last；　based　on　eternal　quietude　below　and　lifting　its　wreath　of　palms　above　the　waves　of　life；　it　stands　finished；　indestructible；　our　inward　rock　of　defence　against　every　earthly　storm。

Soon　his　face　was　worth　going　far　to　see。　He　had　grown　perfectly　calm。　His　weakness　had　been　followed　by　a　sense　of　strength　wholly　extraordinary。　His　old　training　in　the　rough　athletics　of　the　wilderness　had　made　him　supple；　agile；　wary；　long…winded。　His　eyes　hadnever　known　what　it　was　to　be　subdued；　he　had　never　taken　them　from　the　cougar。

Keeping　them　on　it　still；　he　rose　slowly　from　the　chair；　realizing　that　his　chances　would　be　better　if　he　were　in　the　middle　of　the　room。　He　stepped　round　in　front　of　his　table　and　walked　two　paces　straight　forward　and　then　paused；　his　face　as　white；　as　terrible；　as　death。　At　the　instant　of　his　moving　he　could　see　the　tense　drawing　in　of　all　the　muscles　of　the　cougar　and　the　ripple　of　its　skin；　as　its　whole　body　quivered　with　excitement　and　desire；　and　he　knew　that　as　soon　as　he　stopped　it　would　make　its　spring。

With　a　growl　that　announces　that　all　hiding　and　stealth　are　over；　the　leap　came。　He　had　thrown　his　body　slightly　forward　to　meet　it　with　the　last　thought　that　whatever　happened　he　must　guard　his　throat。　It　was　at　this　that　the　cougar　aimed；　leaping　almost　perpendicularly；　its　widespread　fore　feet　reaching　for　his　shoulders；　while　the　hind　feet　grasped　at　his　legs。　　The　under　part　of　its　body　being　thus　exposed；　he　dealt　it　a　blow　with　all　his　strengthfull　in　the　belly　with　his　foot；　and　hurled　it　backward。　For　a　second　it　crouched　again；　measuring　him　anew；　then　sprang　again。　　Again　he　struck；　but　this　time　the　fore　feet　caught　his　arm　as　they　passed　backward；　the　sharp；　retractile　nails　tore　their　way　across　the　back　and　palm　of　his　hand　like　dull　knives　and　the　blood　gushed。　Instantly　the　cougar　leaped　upon　the　long；　wooden　desk　that　ran　alone　one　side　of　the　room；　and　from　that　advantage；　sprang　again　but　he　bent　his　body　low　so　that　it　passed　clean　over　him。　Instantly　it　was　upon　his　desk　at　his　back；　and　before　he　could　more　than　recover　his　balance　and　turn；　it　sprang　for　the　fourth　time。　He　threw　out　his　arm　to　save　his　throat；　but　the　cougar　had　reached　his　left　shoulder；　struck　its　claws　deep　into　his　heavy　coat；　and　with　a　deafening　roar　sounding　close　in　his　ears；　had　buried　its　fangs　near　the　base　of　his　neck；　until　he　heard　them　click　as　they　met　through　his　flesh。

He　staggered；　but　the　desk　behind　caught　him。　　Straightening　himself　up；　and　grappling　the　panther　with　all　his　strength　as　he　would　a　man；　he　turned　with　it　and　bent　it　over　the　sharp　edge　of　the　ponderous　desk；　lower；　lower；　trying　to　break　its　back。　One　of　the　fore　feet　was　beginning　to　tear　through　his　clothing；　and　straightening　himself　up　again；　he　reached　down　and　caught　this　foot　and　tried　to　bend　it；　break　it。　He　threw　himself　with　all　his　force　upon　the　floor；　falling　with　the　cougar　under　him；　trying　to　crush　it。　He　staggered　to　his　feet　again；　but　stepped　on　his　own　blood　and　fell。　And　then；　feeling　his　blood　trickling　down　his　breast　and　his　strength　going；　with　one　last　effort　he　put　up　his　hands　and　seizing　the　throat；　fastened　his　fingers　like　iron　rivets　around　the　windpipe。　And　thenwith　the　long；　loud；　hoarse；　despairing　roar　with　which　a　man；　his　mouth　half　full　of　water；　sinks　far　out　in　the　oceanhe　fell　again。　XI

IT　was　ten　o'clock　that　morning　of　mid…May。　The　rain　was　over。　Clouds　and　mists　were　gone；　leaving　an　atmosphere　of　purest　crystal。　The　sun　floated　a　globe　of　gold　in　the　yielding　blue。　Above　the　wilderness　on　a　dead　treetop；　the　perch　of　an　eagle　now　flashing　like　a　yellow　weather…vane；　a　thrush　poured　the　spray…like　far…falling　fountain　of　his　notes　over　upon　the　bowed　woods。　Beneath　him　the　dull　green　domes　of　the　trees　flashed　as　though　inlaid　with　gems；　white　and　rose。　　Under　these　domes　the　wild　grapevines；　climbing　the　forest　arches　as　the　oak　of　stone　climbs　the　arches　of　a　cathedral；　filled　the　ceiling　and　all　the　shadowy　spaces　between　with　fresh　outbursts　of　their　voluptuous　dew…born　fragrance。　　And　around　the　rough…haired　Satyr　feet　of　these　vines　the　wild　hyacinth；　too　full　of　its　own　honey　to　stand；　fell　back　on　its　couch　of　moss　waiting　to　be　visited　by　the　singing　bee。

The　whole　woods　emerged　from　the　cloudy　bath　of　Nature　with　the　coolness；　the　freshness；　the　immortal　purity　of　Diana　united　to　the　roseate　glow　and　mortal　tenderness　of　Venus；　and　haunted　by　two　spirits：　the　chaste；　unfading　youth　of　Endymion　and　the　dust…born　warmth　and　eagerness　of　Dionysus。

Through　these　woods；　feeling　neither　their　heat　nor　their　cold；　secured　by　Nature　against　any　passion　for　either　the　cooling　star　or　the　inflaming　dust；　rode　Amyslowly　homeward　from　the　ball。　Yet　lovelier；　happier　than　anything　the　forest　held。　She　had　pushed　her　bonnet　entirely　off　so　that　it　hung　by　the　strings　at　the　back　of　her　neck；　and　her　face　emerged　from　the　round　sheath　of　it　like　a　pink　and　white　tulip；　newly　risen　and　bursting　forth。

When　she　reached　home；　she　turned　the　old　horse　loose　with　many　pattings　and　good…byes　and　promises　of　maple　sugar　later　in　the　day；　and　then　she　bounded　away　to　the　garden　to　her　aunt；　of　whom；　perhaps；　she　was　more　truly　fond　than　of　any　one　in　the　world　except　herself。

Mrs。　Falconer　had　quickly　left　off　work　and　was　advancing　very　slowlywith　mingled　haste　and　reluctanceto　meet　her。　〃Aunt　Jessica！　Aunt　Jessica！〃　cried　Amy　in　a　voice　that　rang　like　a　small　silver　bell；　〃I　haven't　seen　you　for　two　whole　nights　and　three　whole　days！〃　Placing　her　hands　on　Mrs。　Falconer's　shoulders；　she　kissed　her　once　on　each　cheek　and　twice　playfully　on　the　pearly　tip　of　the　chin；　and　then　she　looked　into　her　eyes　as　innocently　as　a　perfect　tulip　might　look　at　a　perfect　rose。

Mrs。　Falconer　smilingly　leaned　forward　and　touched　her　lips　to　Amy's　forehead。　The　caress　was　as　light　as　thistle…downperhaps　no　warmer。

〃Three　entire　days！〃　she　said　chidingly。　〃It　has　been　three　months；〃　and　she　searched　through　Amy's　eyes　onward　along　the　tortuous　little　passages　of　her　heart　as　a　calm　blue　air　might　search　the　chambers　of　a　cold　beautiful　sea…shell。

Each　of　these　women　instantly　perceived　that　since　they　had　parted　a　change　had　taken　place　in　the　other；　neither　was　aware　that　the　other　noticed　the　change　in　herself。　Mrs。　Falconer　had　been　dreading　to　find　one　in　Amy　when　she　should　come　home；　and　it　was　the　one　she　saw　now　that　fell　as　a　chill　upon　her。　Amy　was　triumphantly　aware　of　a　decisive　change　in　herself；　but　chose　for　the　present；　as　she　thought；　to　keep　it　hidden；　and　as　for　any　change　in　her　auntthat　was　an　affair　of　less　importance。

〃Why；　Aunt　Jessica！〃　she　exclaimed　indignantly；　〃I　don't　believe　you　are　glad　to　see　me；〃　and　throwing　her　arms　around　Mrs。　Falconer's　neck；　she　strained　her　closely。　〃But　you　poor　dear　auntie！　Come；　sit　down。　I'm　going　to　do　all　the　work　nowmine　and　yours；　both。　Oh！　the　beautiful　gardening！　Rows　and　rows　and　rows！　With　all　the　other　work　beside。　And　me　an　idle　good…for…nothing！〃

The　two　were　walking　toward　a　rough　bench　placed　under　a　tree　inside　the　picket　fence。　Amy　had　thrown　her　arm　around　Mrs。　Falconer's　waist。

〃But　you　went　to　the　ball；〃　said　the　elder　woman。　〃You　were　not　idle　there；　I　imagine。　And　a　ball　is　good　for　a　great　deal。　One　ought　to　accomplish　more　there　than　in　a　garden。　Besides；　you　went　with　John　Gray；　and　he　is　never　idle。　Didheaccomplishnothing？〃〃Indeed；　he　was　not　idle！〃　exclaimed　Amy　with　a　jubilant　laugh。　〃Indeed　he　did　accomplish　somethingmore　than　he　ever　did　in　his　life　before！〃

Mrs。　Falconer　made　no　rejoinder；　she　was　too　poignantly　saying　to　herself：

〃Ah！　if　it　is　too　late；　what　will　become　of　him？　〃

The　bench　was　short。　Instinctively　they　seated　themselves　as　far　apart　as　possible；　and　they　turned　their　faces　outward　across　the　garden；　not　toward　each　other　as　they　had　been　used　when　sitting　thus。

The　one　was　nineteenthe　tulip：　with　springlike　charm　but　perfectly　hollow　and　ready　to　be　filled　by　east　wind　or　west　wind；　north　wind　or　south　wind；　according　as　each　blew　last　and　hardest；　the　other　thirty…sixthe　rose：　in　its　midsummer　splendour　with　fold　upon　fold　of　delicate　symmetric　structures；　making　a　masterpiece。

〃Aunt　Jessica；〃　Amy　began　to　say　drily；　as　though　this　were　to　be　her　last　concession　to　a　relationship　now　about　to　end；　〃I　might　as　well　tell　you　everything　that　has　happened；　just　as　I've　been　used　to　doing　since　I　was　a　childwhen　I've　done　anything　wrong。〃　She　gave　a　faithful　story　of　the　carrying　off　of　her　party　dress；　which　of　course　had　been　missed　and　accounted　for；　the　losing　of　it　and　the　breaking　of　her　engagement　with　John；　the　return　of　it　and　her　going　to　the　ball　with　Joseph。　This　brought　her　mind　to　the　scenes　of　the　night；　and　she　abandoned　herself　momentarily　to　the　delight　of　reviving　them。

〃Ah！　if　you　had　been　there；　Aunt　Jessica！　If　they　had　seen　you　in　a　ball　dress　as　I've　seen　you　without　one：　those　shoulders！　those　arms！　that　skin！　You　would　have　been　a　swan　among　the　rough…necked；　red…necked　turkeys；〃　and　Amy　glanced　a　little　enviously　at　a　neck　that　rose　out　of　the　plain　dress　as　though　turned　by　a　sculptor。

The　sincere　little　compliment　beat　on　Mrs。　Falconer's　ear　like　a　wave　upon　a　stone。

〃But　if　you　did　not　go　with　John　Gray；　you　danced　with　him；　you　talked　with　him？〃

〃No；〃　replied　Amy；　quickly　growing　grave；　〃I　didn't　dance　with　him。　But　we　talked　yesnot　much；　it　was　a　little　too　serious　for　many　words；〃　and　she　sank　into　a　mysterious　silence；　seeming　even　to　forget　herself　in　some　new　recess　of　happiness。

Mrs。　Falconer　was　watching　her。

〃Ah！〃　she　murmured　to　herself。　〃It　is　too　late！　too　late！〃　She　passed　her　fingers　slowly　across　her　brow　with　a　feeling　that　life　had　turned　ashen；　cold；　barren。〃How　is　Kitty？〃　she　asked　quickly。　〃Wellas　always；　and　stupid。〃

〃She　is　always　kind　and　good；　isn't　she？　and　faithful。〃

〃Kindness　is　not　always　interesting；　unfortunately；　and　goodness　is　dreadful；　and　her　faithfulness　bores　me　to　death。〃

〃At　least；　she　was　your　hostess；　Amy。〃　〃I　lent　her　my　silk　stockings　or　she'd　have　had　to　w