the haunted bookshop(闹鬼的书店)-第12章
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they are too much on the move； you can't get the picture of them the way
Dickens could of his types。 You can't catch that sort of thing in a
snapshot； you know： you have to have a time exposure。 I'll grant you；
though； that lunchroom food is mighty good。 The best place to eat is
always a counter where the chauffeurs congregate。 They get awfully
hungry； you see； driving round in the cold； and when they want food they
want it hot and tasty。 There's a little hash…alley called Frank's； up on
Broadway near 77th； where I guess the ham and eggs and French fried is
as good as any Mr。 Pickwick ever ate。〃
〃I must get Edwards to take me there；〃 said Titania。 〃Edwards is our
chauffeur。 I've been to the Ansonia for tea； that's near there。〃
〃Better keep away；〃 said Helen。 〃When Roger comes home from
those places he smells so strong of onions it brings tears to my eyes。〃
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〃We've just been talking about an assistant chef；〃 said Roger； that
suggests that I read you Somebody's Luggage； which is all about a head
waiter。 I have often wished I could get a job as a waiter or a bus boy； just
to learn if there really are any such head waiters nowadays。 You know
there are all sorts of jobs I'd like to have； just to fructify my knowledge of
human nature and find out whether life is really as good as literature。 I'd
love to be a waiter； a barber； a floorwalker〃
〃Roger； my dear；〃 said Helen； 〃why don't you get on with the
reading？〃
Roger knocked out his pipe； turned Bock out of his chair； and sat down
with infinite relish to read the memor able character sketch of Christopher；
the head waiter； which is dear to every lover of taverns。 〃The writer of
these humble lines being a Waiter；〃 he began。 The knitting needles flashed
with diligence； and the dog by the fender stretched himself out in the
luxuriant vacancy of mind only known to dogs surrounded by a happy
group of their friends。 And Roger； enjoying himself enormously； and
particularly pleased by the chuckles of his audience； was approaching the
ever…delightful items of the coffee…room bill which is to be found about
ten pages on in the first chapterhow sad it is that hotel bills are not so
rendered in these timeswhen the bell in the shop clanged。 Picking up his
pipe and matchbox； and grumbling 〃It's always the way；〃 he hurried out of
the room。
He was agreeably surprised to find that his caller was the young
advertising man； Aubrey Gilbert。
〃Hullo！〃 he said。 〃I've been saving something for you。 It's a
quotation from Joseph Conrad about advertising。〃
〃Good enough；〃 said Aubrey。 〃And I've got something for you。 You
were so nice to me the other evening I took the liberty of bringing you
round some tobacco。 Here's a tin of Blue…Eyed Mixture； it's my favourite。
I hope you'll like it。〃
〃Bully for you。 Perhaps I ought to let you off the Conrad quotation
since you're so kind。〃
〃Not a bit。 I suppose it's a knock。 Shoot！〃 The bookseller led the
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way back to his desk； where he rummaged among the litter and finally
found a scrap of paper on which he had written：
Being myself animated by feelings of affection toward my fellowmen；
I am saddened by the modern system of advertising。 Whatever evidence
it offers of enterprise； ingenuity； impudence； and resource in certain
individuals； it proves to my mind the wide prevalence of that form of
mental degradation which is called gullibility。JOSEPH CONRAD。
〃What do you think of that？〃 said Roger。 〃You'll find that in the
story called The Anarchist。〃
〃I think less than nothing of it；〃 said Aubrey。 〃As your friend Don
Marquis observed the other evening； an idea isn't always to be blamed for
the people who believe in it。 Mr。 Conrad has been reading some quack
ads； that's all。 Because there are fake ads； that doesn't condemn the
principle of Publicity。 But look here； what I really came round to see you
for is to show you this。 It was in the Times this morning。〃
He pulled out of his pocket a clipping of the LOST insertion to which
Roger's attention had already been drawn。
〃Yes； I've just seen it；〃 said Roger。 〃I missed the book from my
shelves； and I believe someone must have stolen it。〃
〃Well； now； I want to tell you something；〃 said Aubrey。 〃To…night I
had dinner at the Octagon with Mr。 Chapman。〃 〃Is that so？〃 said Roger。
〃You know his daughter's here now。〃
〃So he told me。 It's rather interesting how it all works out。 You see；
after you told me the other day that Miss Chapman was coming to work
for you； that gave me an idea。 I knew her father would be specially
interested in Brooklyn； on that account； and it suggested to me an idea for
a window…display campaign here in Brooklyn for the Daintybits Products。
You know we handle all his sales promotion campaigns。 Of course I
didn't let on that I knew about his daughter coming over here； but he told
me about it himself in the course of our talk。 Well； here's what I'm
getting at。 We had dinner in the Czecho…Slovak Grill； up on the fourteenth
floor； and going up in the elevator I saw a man in a chef's uniform carrying
a book。 I looked over his shoulder to see what it was。 I thought of course
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it would be a cook book。 It was a copy of Oliver Cromwell。〃
〃So he found it again； eh？ I must go and have a talk with that chap。
If he's a Carlyle fan I'd like to know him。〃
〃Wait a minute。 I had seen the LOST ad in the paper this morning；
because I always look over that column。 Often it gives me ideas for
advertising stunts。 If you keep an eye on the things people are anxious to
get back； you know what they really prize； and if you know what they
prize you can get a line on what goods ought to be advertised more
extensively。 This was the first time I had ever noticed a LOST ad for a
book； so I thought to myself 〃the book business is coming up。〃 Well；
when I saw the chef with the book in his hand； I said to him jokingly； 〃I
see you found it again。〃 He was a foreign…looking fellow； with a big beard；
which is unusual for a chef； because I suppose it's likely to get in the soup。
He looked at me as though I'd run a carving knife into him； almost scared
me the way he looked。 〃Yes； yes；〃 he said； and shoved the book out of
sight under his arm。 He seemed half angry and half frightened； so I
thought maybe he had no right to be riding in the passenger elevator and
was scared someone would report him to the manager。 Just as we were
getting to the fourteenth floor I said to him in a whisper； 〃It's all right； old
chap； I'm not going to report you。〃 I give you my word he looked more
scared than before。 He went quite white。 I got off at the fourteenth； and
he followed me out。 I thought he was going to speak to me； but Mr。
Chapman was there in the lobby； and he didn't have a chance。 But I
noticed that he watched me into the grill room as though I was his last
chance of salvation。〃
〃I guess the poor devil was scared you'd report him to the police for
stealing the book；〃 said Roger。 〃Never mind； let him have it。〃
〃Did he steal it？〃
〃I haven't a notion。 But somebody did； because it disappeared from
here。〃
〃Well； now； wait a minute。 Here's the queer part of it。 I didn't think
anything more about it； except that it was a funny coincidence my seeing
him after having noticed that ad in the paper。 I had a long talk with Mr。
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Chapman； and we discussed some plans for a prune and Saratoga chip
campaign； and I showed him some suggested copy I had prepared。 Then
he told me about his daughter； and I let on that I knew you。 I left the
Octagon about eight o'clock； and I thought I'd run over here on the subway
just to show you the LOST notice and give you this tobacco。 And when I
got off the subway at Atlantic Avenue； who should I see but friend chef
again。 He got off the same train I did。 He had on civilian clothes then； of
course； and when he was out of his white uniform and pancake hat I
recognized him right off。 Who do you suppose it was？〃
〃Can't imagine；〃 said Roger； highly interested by this time。
〃Why； the professor looking guy who came in to ask for the book the
first night I was here。〃
〃Humph！ Well； he must be keen about Carlyle； because he was
horribly disappointed that evening when he asked for the book and I
couldn't find it。 I remember how he insisted that I MUST have it； and I
hunted all through the History shelves to make sure it hadn't got misplaced。
He said that some friend of his had seen it here； and he had come right
round to buy it。 I told him he could certainly get a copy at the Public
Library； and he said that wouldn't do at all。〃
〃Well； I think he's nuts；〃 said Aubrey； 〃because I'm damn sure he
followed me down the street after I left the subway。 I stopped in at the
drug store on the corner to get some matches； and when I came out； there
he was underneath the lamp…post。〃
〃If it was a modern author； instead of Carlyle；〃 said Roge
