the garden party(园会)-第19章
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they were or what they were talking about。 They might begin by being
as serious as possible； dead seriousat any rate； as far as he was
concernedbut then suddenly； in the middle of a sentence； Anne would
glance at him； and a little quick quiver passed over her face。 Her lips
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parted； her eyes danced； and she began laughing。
Another queer thing about it was； Reggie had an idea she didn't herself
know why she laughed。 He had seen her turn away； frown； suck in her
cheeks； press her hands together。 But it was no use。 The long； soft peal
sounded； even while she cried； 〃I don't know why I'm laughing。〃 It was a
mystery。。。
Now she tucked the handkerchief away。
〃Do sit down；〃 said she。 〃And smoke； won't you？ There are
cigarettes in that little box beside you。 I'll have one too。〃 He lighted a
match for her； and as she bent forward he saw the tiny flame glow in the
pearl ring she wore。 〃It is to…morrow that you're going； isn't it？〃 said
Anne。
〃Yes； to…morrow as ever was；〃 said Reggie； and he blew a little fan of
smoke。 Why on earth was he so nervous？ Nervous wasn't the word for
it。
〃It'sit's frightfully hard to believe；〃 he added。
〃Yesisn't it？〃 said Anne softly； and she leaned forward and rolled the
point of her cigarette round the green ash…tray。 How beautiful she looked
like that！simply beautifuland she was so small in that immense chair。
Reginald's heart swelled with tenderness； but it was her voice； her soft
voice； that made him tremble。 〃I feel you've been here for years；〃 she
said。
Reginald took a deep breath of his cigarette。 〃It's ghastly； this idea of
going back；〃 be said。
〃Coo…roo…coo…coo…coo；〃 sounded from the quiet。
〃But you're fond of being out there； aren't you？〃 said Anne。 She
hooked her finger through her pearl necklace。 〃Father was saying only
the other night how lucky he thought you were to have a life of your own。〃
And she looked up at him。 Reginald's smile was rather wan。 〃I don't
feel fearfully lucky；〃 he said lightly。
〃Roo…coo…coo…coo；〃 came again。 And Anne murmured； 〃You mean
it's lonely。〃
〃Oh； it isn't the loneliness I care about；〃 said Reginald； and he stumped
his cigarette savagely on the green ash…tray。 〃I could stand any amount
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of it； used to like it even。 It's the idea of〃 Suddenly； to his horror； he
felt himself blushing。
〃Roo…coo…coo…coo！ Roo…coo…coo…coo！〃
Anne jumped up。 〃Come and say good…bye to my doves；〃 she said。
〃They've been moved to the side veranda。 You do like doves； don't you；
Reggie？〃
〃Awfully；〃 said Reggie； so fervently that as he opened the French
window for her and stood to one side； Anne ran forward and laughed at the
doves instead。
To and fro； to and fro over the fine red sand on the floor of the dove
house； walked the two doves。 One was always in front of the other。
One ran forward； uttering a little cry； and the other followed； solemnly
bowing and bowing。 〃You see；〃 explained Anne； 〃the one in front； she's
Mrs。 Dove。 She looks at Mr。 Dove and gives that little laugh and runs
forward； and he follows her； bowing and bowing。 And that makes her
laugh again。 Away she runs； and after her；〃 cried Anne； and she sat back
on her heels； 〃comes poor Mr。 Dove； bowing and bowing。。。and that's their
whole life。 They never do anything else； you know。〃 She got up and
took some yellow grains out of a bag on the roof of the dove house。
〃When you think of them； out in Rhodesia； Reggie； you can be sure that is
what they will be doing。。。〃
Reggie gave no sign of having seen the doves or of having heard a
word。 For the moment he was conscious only of the immense effort it
took to tear his secret out of himself and offer it to Anne。 〃Anne； do you
think you could ever care for me？〃 It was done。 It was over。 And in
the little pause that followed Reginald saw the garden open to the light； the
blue quivering sky； the flutter of leaves on the veranda poles； and Anne
turning over the grains of maize on her palm with one finger。 Then
slowly she shut her hand； and the new world faded as she murmured
slowly； 〃No； never in that way。〃 But he had scarcely time to feel
anything before she walked quickly away； and he followed her down the
steps； along the garden path； under the pink rose arches； across the lawn。
There； with the gay herbaceous border behind her； Anne faced Reginald。
〃It isn't that I'm not awfully fond of you；〃 she said。 〃I am。 But〃her
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eyes widened〃not in the way〃a quiver passed over her face〃one ought
to be fond of〃 Her lips parted； and she couldn't stop herself。 She
began laughing。 〃There； you see； you see；〃 she cried； 〃it's your check t…
tie。 Even at this moment； when one would think one really would be
solemn； your tie reminds me fearfully of the bow…tie that cats wear in
pictures！ Oh； please forgive me for being so horrid； please！〃
Reggie caught hold of her little warm hand。 〃There's no question of
forgiving you；〃 he said quickly。 〃How could there be？ And I do believe
I know why I make you laugh。 It's because you're so far above me in
every way that I am somehow ridiculous。 I see that； Anne。 But if I
were to〃
〃No； no。〃 Anne squeezed his hand hard。 〃It's not that。 That's all
wrong。 I'm not far above you at all。 You're much better than I am。
You're marvellously unselfish and。。。and kind and simple。 I'm none of
those things。 You don't know me。 I'm the most awful character；〃 said
Anne。 〃Please don't interrupt。 And besides； that's not the point。 The
point is〃she shook her head〃I couldn't possibly marry a man I laughed
at。 Surely you see that。 The man I marry〃 breathed Anne softly。 She
broke off。 She drew her hand away； and looking at Reggie she smiled
strangely； dreamily。 〃The man I marry〃
And it seemed to Reggie that a tall； handsome； brilliant stranger
stepped in front of him and took his placethe kind of man that Anne and
he had seen often at the theatre； walking on to the stage from nowhere；
without a word catching the heroine in his arms； and after one long；
tremendous look； carrying her off to anywhere。。。
Reggie bowed to his vision。 〃Yes； I see；〃 he said huskily。
〃Do you？〃 said Anne。 〃Oh； I do hope you do。 Because I feel so
horrid about it。 It's so hard to explain。 You know I've never〃 She
stopped。 Reggie looked at her。 She was smiling。 〃Isn't it funny？〃 she
said。 〃I can say anything to you。 I always have been able to from the
very beginning。〃
He tried to smile； to say 〃I'm glad。〃 She went on。 〃I've never
known any one I like as much as I like you。 I've never felt so happy with
any one。 But I'm sure it's not what people and what books mean when
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they talk about love。 Do you understand？ Oh； if you only knew how
horrid I feel。 But we'd be like。。。like Mr。 and Mrs。 Dove。〃
That did it。 That seemed to Reginald final； and so terribly true that he
could hardly bear it。 〃Don't drive it home；〃 he said； and he turned away
from Anne and looked across the lawn。 There was the gardener's cottage；
with the dark ilex…tree beside it。 A wet； blue thumb of transparent smoke
hung above the chimney。 It didn't look real。 How his throat ached！
Could he speak？ He had a shot。 〃I must be getting along home；〃 he
croaked； and he began walking across the lawn。 But Anne ran after him。
〃No； don't。 You can't go yet；〃 she said imploringly。 〃You can't possibly
go away feeling like that。〃 And she stared up at him frowning； biting her
lip。
〃Oh； that's all right；〃 said Reggie； giving himself a shake。 〃I'll。。。 I'll
〃 And he waved his hand as much to say 〃get over it。〃
〃But this is awful；〃 said Anne。 She clasped her hands and stood in
front of him。 〃Surely you do see how fatal it would be for us to marry；
don't you？〃
〃Oh； quite； quite；〃 said Reggie； looking at her with haggard eyes。
〃How wrong； how wicked； feeling as I do。 I mean； it's all very well
for Mr。 and Mrs。 Dove。 But imagine that in real lifeimagine it！〃
〃Oh； absolutely；〃 said Reggie； and he started to walk on。 But again
Anne stopped him。 She tugged at his sleeve； and to his astonishment；
this time； instead of laughing； she looked like a little girl who was going to
cry。
〃Then why； if you understand； are you so un…unhappy？〃 she wailed。
〃Why do you mind so fearfully？ Why do you look so aw…awful？〃
Reggie gulped； and again he waved something away。 〃I can't help it；〃
he said； 〃I've had a blow。 If I cut off now； I'll be able to〃
〃How can you talk of cutting off now？〃 said Anne scornfully。 She
stamped her foot at Reggie； she was crimson。 〃How can you be so cruel？
I can't let you go until I know for certain th
