the legacy of cain-第18章

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of　her　dress；　just　below　her　throat；　and　mysteriously　shook　her
head。

〃When　my　views　are　directed　by　my　affections；〃　she　assured　me；　〃I
never　see　wrong。　My　bosom　is　my　strong　point。〃

She　has　no　bosom；　poor　soulbut　I　understood　what　she　meant。　It
failed　to　have　any　soothing　effect　on　my　feelings。　I　felt　grieved
and　angry　and　puzzled；　all　in　one。　Miss　Jillgall　stood　looking　at
me；　with　her　hands　still　on　the　place　where　her　bosom　was
supposed　to　be。　She　made　my　temper　hotter　than　ever。

〃I　mean　to　marry　Philip；〃　I　said。

〃Certainly；　my　dear　Euneece。　But　please　don't　be　so　fierce　about
it。〃

〃If　my　father　does　really　object　to　my　marriage；〃　I　went　on；　〃it
must　be　because　he　dislikes　Philip。　There　can　be　no　other
reason。〃

〃Oh；　yes；　dearthere　can。〃

〃What　is　the　reason；　then？〃

〃That；　my　sweet　girl；　is　one　of　the　things　that　we　have　got　to
find　out。〃

。　。　。　。　。　。　。

The　post　of　this　morning　brought　a　letter　from　my　sister。　We　were
to　expect　her　return　by　the　next　day's　train。　This　was　good　news。
Philip　and　I　might　stand　in　need　of　clever　Helena's　help；　and　we
might　be　sure　of　getting　it　now。

In　writing　to　Philip；　I　had　asked　him　to　let　me　hear　how　papa　and
he　had　got　on　at　the　hotel。

I　won't　say　how　often　I　consulted　my　watch；　or　how　often　I　looked
out　of　the　window　for　a　man　with　a　letter　in　his　hand。　It　will　be
better　to　get　on　at　once　to　the　discouraging　end　of　it；　when　the
report　of　the　interview　reached　me　at　last。　Twice　Philip　had
attempted　to　ask　for　my　hand　in　marriageand　twice　my　father　had
〃deliberately；　obstinately〃　（Philip's　own　words）　changed　the
subject。　Even　this　was　not　all。　As　if　he　was　determined　to　show
that　Miss　Jillgall　was　perfectly　right；　and　I　perfectly　wrong；
papa　（civil　to　Philip　as　long　as　he　did　not　talk　of　Me）　had　asked
him　to　dine　with　us；　and　Philip　had　accepted　the　invitation！

What　were　we　to　think　of　it？　What　were　we　to　do？

I　wrote　back　to　my　dear　love　（so　cruelly　used）　to　tell　him　that
Helena　was　expected　to　return　on　the　next　day；　and　that　her
opinion　would　be　of　the　greatest　value　to　both　of　us。　In　a
postscript　I　mentioned　the　hour　at　which　we　were　going　to　the
station　to　meet　my　sister。　When　I　say　〃we；〃　I　mean　Miss　Jillgall
as　well　as　myself。

。　。　。　。　。　。　。

We　found　him　waiting　for　us　at　the　railway。　I　am　afraid　he
resented　papa's　incomprehensible　resolution　not　to　give　him　a
hearing。　He　was　silent　and　sullen。　I　could　not　conceal　that　to
see　this　state　of　feeling　distressed　me。　He　showed　how　truly　he
deserved　to　be　lovedhe　begged　my　pardon；　and　he　became　his　own
sweet　self　again　directly。　I　am　more　determined　to　marry　him　than
ever。

When　the　train　entered　the　station；　all　the　carriages　were　full。
I　went　one　way；　thinking　I　had　seen　Helena。　Miss　Jillgall　went
the　other　way；　under　the　same　impression。　Philip　was　a　little　way
behind　me。

Not　seeing　my　sister；　I　had　just　turned　back；　when　a　young　man
jumped　out　of　a　carriage；　opposite　Philip；　and　recognized　and
shook　hands　with　him。　I　was　just　near　enough　to　hear　the　stranger
say；　〃Look　at　the　girl　in　our　carriage。〃　Philip　looked。　〃What　a
charming　creature！〃　he　said；　and　then　checked　himself　for　fear
the　young　lady　should　hear　him。　She　had　just　handed　her　traveling
bag　and　wraps　to　a　porter；　and　was　getting　out。　Philip　politely
offered　his　hand　to　help　her。　She　looked　my　way。　The　charming
creature　of　my　sweetheart's　admiration　was；　to　my　infinite
amusement；　Helena　herself。



CHAPTER　XXI。

HELENA'S　DIARY。


THE　day　of　my　return　marks　an　occasion　which　I　am　not　likely　to
forget。　Hours　have　passed　since　I　came　homeand　my　agitation
still　forbids　the　thought　of　repose。

As　I　sit　at　my　desk　I　see　Eunice　in　bed；　sleeping　peacefully；
except　when　she　is　murmuring　enjoyment　in　some　happy　dream。　To
what　end　has　my　sister　been　advancing　blindfold；　and　（who　knows？）
dragging　me　with　her；　since　that　disastrous　visit　to　our　friends
in　London？　Strange　that　there　should　be　a　leaven　of　superstition
in　_my_　nature！　Strange　that　I　should　feel　fear　of　somethingI
hardly　know　what！

I　have　met　somewhere　（perhaps　in　my　historical　reading）　with　the
expression：　〃A　chain　of　events。〃　Was　I　at　the　beginning　of　that
chain；　when　I　entered　the　railway　carriage　on　my　journey　home？

Among　the　other　passengers　there　was　a　young　gentleman；
accompanied　by　a　lady　who　proved　to　be　his　sister。　They　were　both
well…bred　people。　The　brother　evidently　admired　me；　and　did　his
best　to　make　himself　agreeable。　Time　passed　quickly　in　pleasant
talk；　and　my　vanity　was　flatteredand　that　was　all。

My　fellow…travelers　were　going　on　to　London。　When　the　train
reached　our　station　the　young　lady　sent　her　brother　to　buy　some
fruit；　which　she　saw　in　the　window　of　the　refreshment…room。　The
first　man　whom　he　encountered　on　the　platform　was　one　of　his
friends；　to　whom　he　said　something　which　I　failed　to　hear。　When　I
handed　my　traveling　bag　and　my　wraps　to　the　porter；　and　showed
myself　at　the　carriage　door；　I　heard　the　friend　say：　〃What　a
charming　creature！〃　Having　nothing　to　conceal　in　a　journal　which
I　protect　by　a　lock；　I　may　own　that　the　stranger's　personal
appearance　struck　me；　and　that　what　I　felt　this　time　was　not
flattered　vanity；　but　gratified　pride。　He　was　young；　he　was
remarkably　handsome；　he　was　a　distinguished…looking　man。

All　this　happened　in　one　moment。　In　the　moment　that　followed；　I
found　myself　in　Eunice's　arms。　That　odious　person；　Miss　Jillgall；
insisted　on　embracing　me　next。　And　then　I　was　conscious　of　an
indescribable　feeling　of　surprise。　Eunice　presented　the
distinguished…looking　gentleman　to　me　as　a　friend　of　hersMr。
Philip　Dunboyne。

〃I　had　the　honor　of　meeting　your　sister；〃　he　said；　〃in　London；　at
Mr。　Staveley's　house。〃　He　went　on　to　speak　easily　and　gracefully
of　the　journey　I　had　taken；　and　of　his　friend　who　had　been　my
fellow…traveler；　and　he　attended　us　to　the　railway　omnibus　before
he　took　his　leave。　I　observed　that　Eunice　had　something　to　say　to
him　confidentially；　before　they　parted。　This　was　another　example
of　my　sister's　childish　character；　she　is　instantly　familiar　with
new　acquaintances；　if　she　happens　to　like　them。　I　anticipated
some　amusement　from　hearing　how　she　had　contrived　to　establish
confidential　relations　with　a　highly…cultivated　man　like　Mr。
Dunboyne。　But；　while　Miss　Jillgall　was　with　us；　it　was　just　as
well　to　keep　within　the　limits　of　commonplace　conversation。

Before　we　got　out　of　the　omnibus　I　had；　however；　observed　one
undesirable　result　of　my　absence　from　home。　Eunice　and　Miss
Jillgallthe　latter　having；　no　doubt；　finely　flattered　the
formerappeared　to　have　taken　a　strong　liking　to　each　other。

Two　curious　circumstances　also　caught　my　attention。　I　saw　a
change　to；　what　I　call　self　…assertion；　in　my　sister's　manner；
something　seemed　to　have　raised　her　in　her　own　estimation。　Then；
again；　Miss　Jillgall　was　not　like　her　customary　self。　She　had
delightful　moments　of　silence；　and　when　Eunice　asked　how　I　liked
Mr。　Dunboyne；　she　listened　to　my　reply　with　an　appearance　of
interest　in　her　ugly　face　which　was　quite　a　new　revelation　in　my
experience　of　my　father's　cousin。

These　little　discoveries　（after　what　I　had　already　observed　at
the　railway…station）　ought　perhaps　to　have　prepared　me　for　what
was　to　come；　when　my　sister　and　I　were　alone　in　our　room。　But
Eunice；　whether　she　meant　to　do　it　or　not；　baffled　my　customary
penetration。　She　looked　as　if　she　had　plenty　of　news　to　tell
mewith　some　obstacle　in　the　way　of　doing　it；　which　appeared　to
amuse　instead　of　annoying　her。　If　there　is　one　thing　more　than
another　that　I　hate；　it　is　being　puzzled。　I　asked　at　once　if
anything　remarkable　had　happened　during　Eunice's　visit　to　London。

She　smiled　mischievously。　〃I　have　got　a　delicious　surprise　for
you；　my　dear；　and　I　do　so　enjoy　prolonging　it。　Tell　me；　Helena；
what　did　you　propose　we　should　both　do　when　we　found　ourselves　at
home　again？〃

My　memory　was　at　fault。　Eunice's　good　spirits　became　absolutely
boisterous。　She　called　out：　〃Catch！〃　and　tossed　her　journal　into
my　hands；　across　the　whole　length　of　the　room。　〃We　were　to　read
each　other's　diaries；〃　she　said。　〃There　is　mine　to　begin　with。〃

Innocent　of　any　suspicion　of　the　true　state　of　affairs；　I　began
the　reading　of　Eunice's　journal。

If　I　had　not　seen　the　familiar　handwriting；　nothing　would　have
induced　me　to　believe　that　a　girl　brought　up　in　a　pious
household；　the　well…beloved　daughter　of　a　distinguished
Congregational　Minister；　could　have　written　that　shameless　record
of　passions　unknown　to　young　ladies　in　respectable　English　life。
What　to　say；　what　to　do；　when　I　had　closed　the　book；　was　more
than　I　felt　myself　equal　to　decide。　My　wretched　sister　spared　me
the　anxiety　which　I　might　otherwise　have　felt。　It　was　she　who
first　opened　her　lips；　after　the　silence　that　had　fal　len　on　us
while　I　was　reading。　These　were　literally　the　words　that　she
said：

〃My　darling；　why　don't　you　congratulate　me？〃

No　argument　could　have　persuaded　me；　as　this　persuaded　me；　that
all　sisterly　remonstrance　on　my　part　would　be　completely　thrown
away。

〃My　dear　Eunice；〃　I　said；　〃let　me　beg　you　to　excuse　me。　I　am
waiting〃

There　she　interrupted　meand；　oh；　in　what　an　impudent　manner！
She　took　my　chin　between　her　finger　and　thumb；　and　lifted　my
downcast　face；　and　looked　at　me　with　an　appearance　of　eager
expectation　which　I　was　quite　at　a　loss　to　understand。

〃You　have　been　away　from　home；　too。〃　she　said。　〃Do　I　see　in　this
serious　face　some　astonishing　news　waiting　to　overpower　me？　Have
_you_　found　a　sweetheart？　Are　_you_　engaged　to　be　married？〃

I　only　put　her　hand　away　from　me；　and　advised　her　to　return　to
her　chair。　This　perfectly　harmless　proceeding　seemed　absolutely
to　frighten　her。

〃Oh；　my　dear；〃　she　burst　out；　〃surely　you　are　not　jealous　of　me？〃

There　was　but　one　possible　reply　to　this：　I　laughed　at　it。　Is
Eunice's　head　turned？　She　kissed　me！

〃Now　you　laugh；〃　she　said；　〃I　begin　to　understand　you　again；　I
ought　to　have　known　that　you　are　superior　to　jealousy。　But；　do
tell　me；　would　it　be　so　very　wonderful　if　other　girls　found
something　to　envy　in　my　good　luck？　Just　think　of　it！　Such　a
handsome　man；　such　an　agreeable　man；　such　a　clever　man；　such　a
rich　manand；　not　the　least　of　his　merits；　by…the…by；　a　man　who
admires　You。　Come！　if　you　won't　congratulate　me；　congratulate
yourself　on　having　such　a　brother…in…law　in　prospect！〃

Her　head　_was_　turned。　I　drew　the　poor　soul's　attention
compassionately　to　what　I　had　said　a　moment　since。

〃Pardon　me；　dear；　for　reminding　you　that　I　have　not　yet　refused
to　offer　my　congratulations。　I　only　told　you　I　was　waiting。〃

〃For　what？〃

〃Waiting；　of　course；　to　hear　what　my　father　thinks　of　your
wonderful　good　luck。〃

This　explanation；　offered　with　the　kindest　intentions；　produced
another　change　in　my　very　variable　sister。　I　had　extinguished　her
good　spirits　as　I　might　have　extinguished　a　light。　She　sat　down
by　me；　and　sighed　in　the　saddest　manner。　The　heart　must　be　hard
indeed　which　can　resist　the　distress　of　a　person　who　is　dear　to
us。　I　put　my　arm　round　her；　she　was　becoming　once　more　the　Eunice
whom　I　so　dearly　loved。

〃My　poor　child；〃　I　said。　〃don't　distress　yourself　by　speaking