the legacy of cain-第17章

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foot；　he　walked　like　a　king。　Not　that　I　ever　saw　a　king；　but　I
have　my　ideal。　Ah；　what　a　smile　he　gave　me；　when　I　made　him　look
up　by　waving　my　handkerchief　out　of　the　window！　〃Ask　for　papa；〃　I
whispered　as　he　ascended　the　house…steps。

The　next　thing　to　do　was　to　wait；　as　patiently　as　I　could；　to　be
sent　for　downstairs。　Maria　came　to　me　in　a　state　of　excitement。
〃Oh；　miss；　what　a　handsome　young　gentleman；　and　how　beautifully
dressed！　Is　he？〃　Instead　of　finishing　what　she　had　to　say；　she
looked　at　me　with　a　sly　smile。　I　looked　at　her　with　a　sly　smile。
We　were　certainly　a　couple　of　fools。　But；　dear　me；　how　happy
sometimes　a　fool　can　be！

My　enjoyment　of　that　delightful　time　was　checked　when　I　went　into
the　drawing…room。

I　had　expected　to　see　papa's　face　made　beautiful　by　his　winning
smile。　He　was　not　only　serious；　he　actually　seemed　to　be　ill　at
ease　when　he　looked　at　me。　At　the　same　time；　I　saw　nothing　to
make　me　conclude　that　Philip　had　produced　an　unfavorable
impression。　The　truth　is；　we　were　all　three　on　our　best　behavior；
and　we　showed　it。　Philip　had　brought　with　him　a　letter　from　Mrs。
Staveley；　introducing　him　to　papa。　We　spoke　of　the　Staveleys；　of
the　weather；　of　the　Cathedraland　then　there　seemed　to　be
nothing　more　left　to　talk　about。

In　the　silence　that　followedwhat　a　dreadful　thing　silence
is！papa　was　sent　for　to　see　somebody　who　had　called　on
business。　He　made　his　excuses　in　the　sweetest　manner；　but　still
seriously。　When　he　and　Philip　had　shaken　hands；　would　he　leave　us
together？　No；　he　waited。　Poor　Philip　had　no　choice　but　to　take
leave　of　me。　Papa　then　went　out　by　the　door　that　led　into　his
study；　and　I　was　left　alone。

Can　any　words　say　how　wretched　I　felt？

I　had　hoped　so　much　from　that　first　meetingand　where　were　my
hopes　now？　A　profane　wish　that　I　had　never　been　born　was　finding
its　way　into　my　mind；　when　the　door　of　the　room　was　opened
softly；　from　the　side　of　the　passage。　Maria；　dear　Maria；　the　best
friend　I　have；　peeped　in。　She　whispered：　〃Go　into　the　garden；
miss；　and　you　will　find　somebody　there　who　is　dying　to　see　you。
Mind　you　let　him　out　by　the　shrubbery　gate。〃　I　squeezed　her　hand；
I　asked　if　she　had　tried　the　shrubbery　gate　with　a　sweetheart　of
her　own。　〃Hundreds　of　times；　miss。〃

Was　it　wrong　for　me　to　go　to　Philip；　in　the　garden？　Oh；　there　is
no　end　to　objections！　Perhaps　I　did　it　_because_　it　was　wrong。
Perhaps　I　had　been　kept　on　my　best　behavior　too　long　for　human
endurance。

How　sadly　disappointed　he　looked！　And　how　rashly　he　had　placed
himself　just　where　he　could　be　seen　from　the　back　windows！　I　took
his　arm　and　led　him　to　the　end　of　the　garden。　There　we　were　out
of　the　reach　of　inquisitive　eyes；　and　there　we　sat　down　together；
under　the　big　mulberry　tree。

〃Oh；　Eunice；　your　father　doesn't　like　me！〃

Those　were　his　first　words。　In　justice　to　papa　（and　a　little　for
my　own　sake　too）　I　told　him　he　was　quite　wrong。　I　said：　〃Trust　my
father's　goodness；　trust　his　kindness；　as　I　do。〃

He　made　no　reply。　His　silence　was　sufficiently　expressive；　he
looked　at　me　fondly。

I　may　be　wrong；　but　fond　looks　surely　require　an　acknowledgment
of　some　kind？　Is　a　young　woman　guilty　of　boldness　who　only
follows　her　impulses？　I　slipped　my　hand　into　his　hand。　Philip
seemed　to　like　it。　We　returned　to　our　conversation。

He　began：　〃Tell　me；　dear；　is　Mr。　Gracedieu　always　as　serious　as
he　is　to…day？〃

〃Oh　no！〃

〃When　he　takes　　exercise；　does　he　ri　de？　or　does　he　walk？〃

〃Papa　always　walks。〃

〃By　himself？〃

〃Sometimes　by　himself。　Sometimes　with　me。　Do　you　want　to　meet　him
when　he　goes　out？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃When　he　is　out　with　me？〃

〃No。　When　he　is　out　by　himself。〃

Was　it　possible　to　tell　me　more　plainly　that　I　was　not　wanted？　I
did　my　best　to　express　indignation　by　snatching　my　hand　away　from
him。　He　was　completely　taken　by　surprise。

〃Eunice！　don't　you　understand　me？〃

I　was　as　stupid　and　as　disagreeable　as　I　could　possibly　be：　〃No；
I　don't！〃

〃Then　let　me　help　you；〃　he　said；　with　a　patience　which　I　had　not
deserved。

Up　to　that　moment　I　had　been　leaning　against　the　back　of　a　garden
chair。　Something　else　now　got　between　me　and　my　chair。　It　stole
round　my　waistit　held　me　gentlyit　strengthened　its　holdit
improved　my　temperit　made　me　fit　to　understand　him。　All　done　by
what？　Only　an　arm！

Philip　went　on：

〃I　want　to　ask　your　father　to　do　me　the　greatest　of　all
favorsand　there　is　no　time　to　lose。　Every　day；　I　expect　to　get
a　letter　which　may　recall　me　to　Ireland。〃

My　heart　sank　at　this　horrid　prospect；　and　in　some　mysterious　way
my　head　must　have　felt　it　too。　I　mean　that　I　found　my　head
resting　on　his　shoulder。　He　went　on：

〃How　am　I　to　get　my　opportunity　of　speaking　to　Mr。　Gracedieu？　I
mustn't　call　on　him　again　as　soon　as　to…morrow　or　next　day。　But　I
might　meet　him；　out　walking　alone；　if　you　will　tell　me　how　to　do
it。　A　note　to　my　hotel　is　all　I　want。　Don't　tremble；　my　sweet。　If
you　are　not　present　at　the　time；　do　you　see　any　objection　to　my
owning　to　your　father　that　I　love　you？〃

I　felt　his　delicate　consideration　for　meI　did　indeed　feel　it
gratefully。　If　he　only　spoke　first；　how　well　I　should　get　on　with
papa　afterward！　The　prospect　before　me　was　exquisitely
encouraging。　I　agreed　with　Philip　in　everything；　and　I　waited
（how　eagerly　was　only　known　to　myself）　to　hear　what　he　would　say
to　me　next。　He　prophesied　next：

〃When　I　have　told　your　father　that　I　love　you；　he　will　expect　me
to　tell　him　something　else。　Can　you　guess　what　it　is？〃

If　I　had　not　been　confused；　perhaps　I　might　have　found　the　answer
to　this。　As　it　was；　I　left　him　to　reply　to　himself。　He　did　it；　in
words　which　I　shall　remember　as　long　as　I　live。

〃Dearest　Eunice；　when　your　father　has　heard　my　confession；　he
will　suspect　that　there　is　another　confession　to　follow　ithe
will　want　to　know　if　you　love　me。　My　angel；　will　my　hopes　be　your
hopes　too；　when　I　answer　him？〃

What　there　was　in　this　to　make　my　heart　beat　so　violently　that　I
felt　as　if　I　was　being　stifled；　is　more　than　I　can　tell。　He
leaned　so　close　to　me；　so　tenderly；　so　delightfully　close；　that
our　faces　nearly　touched。　He　whispered：　〃Say　you　love　me；　in　a
kiss！〃

His　lips　touched　my　lips；　pressed　them；　dwelt　on　themoh；　how
can　I　tell　of　it！　Some　new　enchantment　of　feeling　ran　deliciously
through　and　through　me。　I　forgot　my　own　self；　I　only　knew　of　one
person　in　the　world。　He　was　master　of　my　lips；　he　was　master　of
my　heart。　When　he　whispered；　〃kiss　me；〃　I　kissed。　What　a　moment
it　was！　A　faintness　stole　over　me；　I　felt　as　if　I　was　going　to
die　some　exquisite　death；　I　laid　myself　back　away　from　himI　was
not　able　to　speak。　There　was　no　need　for　it；　my　thoughts　and　his
thoughts　were　onehe　knew　that　I　was　quite　overcome；　he　saw　that
he　must　leave　me　to　recover　myself　alone。　I　pointed　to　the
shrubbery　gate。　We　took　one　long　last　look　at　each　other　for　that
day；　the　trees　hid　him；　I　was　left　by　myself。


CHAPTER　XX。

EUNICE'S　DIARY。


How　long　a　time　passed　before　my　composure　came　back　to　me；　I
cannot　remember　now。　It　seemed　as　if　I　was　waiting　through　some
interval　of　my　life　that　was　a　mystery　to　myself。　I　was　content
to　wait；　and　feel　the　light　evening　air　in　the　garden　wafting
happiness　over　me。　And　all　this　had　come　from　a　kiss！　I　can　call
the　time　to　mind　when　I　used　to　wonder　why　people　made　such　a
fuss　about　kissing。

I　had　been　indebted　to　Maria　for　my　first　taste　of　Paradise。　I
was　recalled　by　Maria　to　the　world　that　I　had　been　accustomed　to
live　in；　the　world　that　was　beginning　to　fade　away　in　my　memory
already。　She　had　been　sent　to　the　garden　in　search　of　me；　and　she
had　a　word　of　advice　to　offer；　after　noticing　my　face　when　I
stepped　out　of　the　shadow　of　the　tree：　〃Try　to　look　more　like
yourself；　miss；　before　you　let　them　see　you　at　the　tea…table。〃


Papa　and　Miss　Jillgall　were　sitting　together　talking；　when　I
opened　the　door。　They　left　off　when　they　saw　me；　and　I　supposed；
quite　correctly　as　it　turned　out；　that　I　had　been　one　of　the
subjects　in　their　course　of　conversation。　My　poor　father　seemed
to　be　sadly　anxious　and　out　of　sorts。　Miss　Jillgall；　if　I　had
been　in　the　humor　to　enjoy　it；　would　have　been　more　amusing　than
ever。　One　of　her　funny　little　eyes　persisted　in　winking　at　me；
and　her　heavy　foot　had　something　to　say　to　my　foot；　under　the
table；　which　meant　a　great　deal　perhaps；　but　which　only　succeeded
in　hurting　me。

My　father　left　us；　and　Miss　Jillgall　explained　herself。

〃I　know；　dearest　Euneece；　that　we　have　only　been　acquainted　for　a
day　or　two　and　that　I　ought　not　perhaps　to　have　expected　you　to
confide　in　me　so　soon。　Can　I　trust　you　not　to　betray　me　if　I　set
an　example　of　confidence？　Ah；　I　see　I　can　trust　you！　And；　my
dear；　I　do　so　enjoy　telling　secrets　to　a　friend。　Hush！　Your
father；　your　excellent　father；　has　been　talking　to　me　about　young
Mr。　Dunboyne。〃

She　provokingly　stopped　there。　I　entreated　her　to　go　on。　She
invited　me　to　sit　on　her　knee。　〃I　want　to　whisper；〃　she　said。　It
was　too　ridiculousbut　I　did　it。　Miss　Jillgall's　whisper　told　me
serious　news。

〃The　minister　has　some　reason；　Euneece；　for　disapproving　of　Mr。
Dunboyne；　but；　mind　this；　I　don't　think　he　has　a　bad　opinion　of
the　young　man　himself。　He　is　going　to　return　Mr。　Dunboyne's　call。
Oh；　I　do　so　hate　formality；　I　really　can't　go　on　talking　of　_Mr。_
Dunboyne。　Tell　me　his　Christian　name。　Ah；　what　a　noble　name！　How
I　long　to　be　useful　to　him！　Tomorrow；　my　dear；　after　the　one
o'clock　dinner；　your　papa　will　call　on　Philip；　at　his　hotel。　I
hope　he　won't　be　out；　just　at　the　wrong　time。〃

I　resolved　to　prevent　that　unlucky　accident　by　writing　to　Philip。
If　Miss　Jillgall　would　have　allowed　it；　I　should　have　begun　my
letter　at　once。　But　she　had　more　to　say；　and　she　was　stronger
than　I　was；　and　still　kept　me　on　her　knee。

〃It　all　looks　bright　enough　so　far；　doesn't　it；　dear　sister？　Will
you　let　me　be　your　second　sister？　I　do　so　love　you；　Euneece。
Thank　you！　thank　you！　But　the　gloomy　side　of　the　picture　is　to
come　next！　The　ministerno！　now　I　am　your　sister　I　must　call　him
papa；　it　makes　me　feel　so　young　again！　Well；　then；　papa　has　asked
me　to　be　your　companion　whenever　you　go　out。　'Euneece　is　too
young　and　too　attractive　to　be　walking　about　this　great　town　（in
Helena's　absence）　by　herself。'　That　was　how　he　put　it。　Slyly
enough；　if　one　may　say　so　of　so　good　a　man。　And　he　used　your
sister　（didn't　he？）　as　a　kind　of　excuse。　I　wish　your　sister　was
as　nice　as　you　are。　However；　the　point　is；　why　am　I　to　be　your
companion？　Because；　dear　child；　you　and　your　young　gentleman　are
not　to　make　appointments　and　to　meet　each　other　alone。　Oh；
yesthat's　it！　Your　father　is　quite　willing　to　return　Philip's
call；　he　proposes　（as　a　matter　of　civility　to　Mrs。　Staveley）　to
ask　Philip　to　dinner；　but；　mark　my　words；　he　doesn't　mean　to　let
Philip　have　you　for　his　wife。〃

I　jumped　off　her　lap；　it　was　horrible　to　hear　her。　〃Oh；〃　I　said；
〃_can_　you　be　right　about　it？〃　Miss　Jillgall　jumped　up　too。　She
has　foreign　ways　of　shrugging　her　shoulders　and　making　signs　with
her　hands。　On　this　occasion　she　laid　both　hands　on　the　upper　part
of　her　dress；　just　below　her　throat；　and　mysteriously　shook　her
head。

〃When　my　views　are　directed　by　my　affect