the legacy of cain-第15章

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I'm　so　ashamed　of。　Dear　cousin；　forgive　me；　enlighten　me。　I　don't
know　how　to　pronounce　your　other　daughter's　name。　Do　you　call　her
Euneece？〃

The　dinner　was　getting　cold。　I　was　provoked　into　saying：　〃No；　we
don't。〃

She　had　evidently　not　forgiven　me　for　leaving　her　by　herself。
〃Pardon　me；　Helena；　when　I　want　information　I　don't　apply　to　you：
I　sit；　as　it　were；　at　the　feet　of　your　learned　father。　Dear
cousin；　is　it〃

Even　my　father　declined　to　wait　for　his　dinner　any　longer。
〃Pronounce　it　as　you　like；　Selina。　Here　we　say　Euni'cewith　the
accent　on　the　'i'　and　with　the　final　'e'　sounded：　Eu…ni'…see。　Let
me　give　you　some　soup。〃

Miss　Jillgall　groaned。　〃Oh；　how　difficult　it　seems　to　be！　Quite
beyond　my　poor　brains！　I　shall　ask　the　dear　girl's　leave　to　call
her　Euneece。　What　very　strong　soup！　Isn't　it　rather　a　waste　of
meat？　Give　me　a　little　more；　please。〃

I　discovered　another　of　Miss　Jillgall's　peculiarities。　Her
appetite　was　enormous　；　and　her　ways　were　greedy。　You　heard　her
eat　her　soup。　She　devoured　the　food　on　her　plate　with　her　eyes
before　she　put　it　into　her　mouth；　and　she　criticised　our　English
cookery　in　the　most　impudent　manner；　under　pretense　of　asking
humbly　how　it　was　done。　There　was；　however；　some　temporary
compensation　for　this。　We　had　less　of　her　talk　while　she　was
eating　her　dinner。

With　the　removal　of　the　cloth；　she　recovered　the　use　of　her
tongue；　and　she　hit　on　the　one　subject　of　all　others　which　proves
to　be　the　sorest　trial　to　my　father's　patience。

〃And　now；　dear　cousin；　let　us　talk　of　your　other　daughter；　our
absent　Euneece。　I　do　so　long　to　see　her。　When　is　she　coming
back？〃

〃In　a　few　days　more。〃

〃How　glad　I　am！　And　do　tell　mewhich　is　she？　Your　oldest　girl　or
your　youngest？〃

〃Neither　the　one　nor　the　other；　Selina。〃

〃Oh；　my　head！　my　head！　This　is　even　worse　than　the　accent　on　the
'i'　and　the　final　'e。'　Stop！　I　am　cleverer　than　I　thought　I　was。
You　mean　that　the　girls　are　twins。　Are　they　both　so　exactly　like
each　other　that　I　shan't　know　which　is　which？　What　fun！〃

When　the　subject　of　our　ages　was　unluckily　started　at　Mrs。
Staveley's；　I　had　slipped　out　of　the　difficulty　easily　by
assuming　the　character　of　the　eldest　sisteran　example　of　ready
tact　which　my　dear　stupid　Eunice　doesn't　understand。　In　my
father's　presence；　it　is　needless　to　say　that　I　kept　silence；　and
left　it　to　him。　I　was　sorry　to　be　obliged　to　do　this。　Owing　to
his　sad　state　of　health；　he　is　easily　irritatedespecially　by
inquisitive　strangers。

〃I　must　leave　you；〃　he　answered；　without　taking　the　slightest
notice　of　what　Miss　Jillgall　had　said　to　him。　〃My　work　is　waiting
for　me。〃

She　stopped　him　on　his　way　to　the　door。　〃Oh；　tell　mecan't　I
help　you？〃

〃Thank　you；　no。〃

〃Wellbut　tell　me　one　thing。　Am　I　right　about　the　twins？〃

〃You　are　wrong。〃

Miss　Jillgall's　demonstrative　hands　flew　up　into　the　air　again；
and　expressed　the　climax　of　astonishment　by　quivering　over　her
head。　〃This　is　positively　maddening；〃　she　declared。　〃What　does　it
mean？〃

〃Take　my　advice；　cousin。　Don't　attempt　to　find　out　what　it
means。〃

He　left　the　room。　Miss　Jillgall　appealed　to　me。　I　imitated　my
father's　wise　brevity　of　expression：　〃Sorry　to　disappoint　you；
Selina；　I　know　no　more　about　it　than　you　do。　Come　upstairs。〃

Every　step　of　the　way　up　to　the　drawing…room　was　marked　by　a
protest　or　an　inquiry。　Did　I　expect　her　to　believe　that　I
couldn't　say　which　of　us　was　the　elder　of　the　two？　that　I　didn't
really　know　what　my　father's　motive　was　for　this　extraordinary
mystification？　that　my　sister　and　I　had　submitted　to　be　robbed；
as　it　were；　of　our　own　ages；　and　had　not　insisted　on　discovering
which　of　us　had　come　into　the　world　first？　that　our　friends　had
not　put　an　end　to　this　sort　of　thing　by　comparing　us　personally；
and　discovering　which　was　the　elder　sister　by　investigation　of
our　faces？　To　all　this　I　replied：　First；　that　I　did　certainly
expect　her　to　believe　whatever　I　might　say：　Secondly；　that　what
she　was　pleased　to　call　the　〃mystification〃　had　begun　when　we
were　both　children；　that　habit　had　made　it　familiar　to　us　in　the
course　of　years；　and　above　all；　that　we　were　too　fond　of　our　good
father　to　ask　for　explanations　which　we　knew　by　experience　would
distress　him：　Thirdly；　that　friends　did　try　to　discover；　by
personal　examination；　which　was　the　elder　sister；　and　differed
perpetually　in　their　conclusions；　also　that　we　had　amused
ourselves　by　trying　the　same　experiment　before　our
looking…glasses；　and　that　Eunice　thought　Helena　was　the　oldest；
and　Helena　thought　Eunice　was　the　oldest：　Fourthly　（and　finally）；
that　the　Reverend　Mr。　Gracedieu's　cousin　had　better　drop　the
subject；　unless　she　was　bent　on　making　her　presence　in　the　house
unendurable　to　the　Reverend　Mr。　Gracedieu　himself。

I　write　it　with　a　sense　of　humiliation；　Miss　Jillgall　listened
attentively　to　all　I　had　to　sayand　then　took　me　completely　by
surprise。　This　inquisitive；　meddlesome；　restless；　impudent　woman
suddenly　transformed　herself　into　a　perfect　model　of　amiability
and　decorum。　She　actually　said　she　agreed　with　me；　and　was　much
obliged　for　my　good　advice！

A　stupid　young　woman；　in　my　place；　would　have　discovered　that
this　was　not　natural；　and　that　Miss　Jillgall　was　presenting
herself　to　me　in　disguise；　to　reach　some　secret　end　of　her　own。　I
am　not　a　stupid　young　woman；　I　ought　to　have　had　at　my　service
penetration　enough　to　see　through　and　through　Cousin　Selina。
Well！　Cousin　Selina　was　an　impenetrable　mystery　to　me。

The　one　thing　to　be　done　was　to　watch　her。　I　was　at　least　sly
enough　to　take　up　a　book；　and　pretend　to　be　reading　it。　How
contemptible！

She　looked　round　the　room；　and　discovered　our　pretty
writing…table；　a　present　to　my　father　from　his　congregation。
After　a　little　consideration；　she　sat　down　to　write　a　letter。

〃When　does　the　post　go　out？〃　she　asked。

I　mentioned　the　hour；　and　she　began　her　letter。　Before　she　could
have　written　more　than　the　first　two　or　three　lines；　she　turned
round　on　her　seat；　and　began　talking　to　me。

〃Do　you　like　writing　letters；　my　dear？〃

〃Yesbut　then　I　have　not　many　letters　to　write。〃

〃Only　a　few　friends；　Helena；　but　those　few　worthy　to　be　loved？　My
own　case　exactly。　Has　your　father　told　you　of　my　troubles？　Ah；　I
am　glad　of　that。　It　spares　me　the　sad　necessity　of　confessing
what　I　have　suffered。　Oh；　how　good　my　friends；　my　new　friends；
were　to　me　in　that　dull　little　Belgian　town！　One　of　them　was
generosity　personifiedah；　she　had　suffered；　too！　A　vile　husband
who　had　deceived　and　deserted　her。　Oh；　the　men！　When　she　heard　of
the　loss　of　my　little　fortune；　that　noble　creature　got　up　a
subscription　for　me；　and　went　round　herself　to　collect。　Think　of
what　I　owe　to　her！　Ought　I　to　let　another　day　pass　without
writing　to　my　benefactress？　Am　I　not　bound　in　gratitude　to　make
her　happy　in　the　knowledge　of　_my_　happinessI　mean　the　refuge
opened　to　me　in　this　hospitable　house？〃

She　twisted　herself　back　again　to　the　writing…table；　and　went　on
with　her　letter。

I　have　not　attempted　to　conceal　my　stupidity。　Let　me　now　record　a
partial　recovery　of　my　intelligence。

It　was　not　to　be　denied　that　Miss　Jillgall　had　discovered　a　good
reason　for　writing　to　her　friend；　but　I　was　at　a　loss　to
understand　why　she　should　have　been　so　anxious　to　mention　the
reason。　Was　it　possibleafter　the　talk　which　had　passed　between
usthat　she　had　something　mischievous　to　say　in　her　letter；
relating　to　my　father　or　to　me？　Was　she　afraid　I　might　suspect
this？　And　had　she　been　so　communicative　for　the　purpose　of
leading　my　suspicions　astray？　These　were　vague　guesses；　but；　try
as　I　might；　I　could　arrive　at　no　clearer　view　of　what　was　passing
in　Miss　Jillgall's　mind。　What　would　I　not　have　given　to　be　able
to　look　over　her　shoulder；　without　discovery！

She　finished　her　letter；　and　put　the　address；　and　closed　the
envelope。　Then　she　turned　round　toward　me　again。

〃Have　you　got　a　foreign　postage　stamp；　dear？〃

If　I　could　look　at　nothing　else；　I　was　resolved　to　look　at　her
envelope。　It　was　only　necessary　to　go　to　the　study；　and　to　apply
to　my　father。　I　returned　with　the　foreign　stamp；　and　I　stuck　it
on　the　envelope　with　my　own　hand。

There　was　nothing　to　interest　_me_　in　the　address；　as　I　ought　to
have　foreseen；　if　I　had　not　been　too　much　excited　for　the
exercise　of　a　little　common　sense。　Miss　Jillgall's　wonderful
friend　was　only　remarkable　by　her　ugly　foreign　nameMRS。
TENBRUGGEN。


CHAPTER　XVIII。

EUNICE'S　DIARY。


HERE　I　am；　writing　my　history　of　myself；　once　more；　by　my　own
bedside。　Some　unexpected　events　have　happened　while　I　have　been
away。　One　of　them　is　the　absence　of　my　sister。

Helena　has　left　home　on　a　visit　to　a　northern　town　by　the
seaside。　She　is　staying　in　the　house　of　a　minister　（one　of　papa's
friends）；　and　is　occupying　a　position　of　dignity　in　which　I
should　certainly　lose　my　head。　The　minister　and　his　wife　and
daughters　propose　to　set　up　a　Girls'　Scripture　Class；　on　the　plan
devised　by　papa；　and　they　are　at　a　loss；　poor　helpless　people；　to
know　how　to　begin。　Helena　has　volunteered　to　set　the　thing　going。
And　there　she　is　now；　advising　everybody；　governing　everybody；
encouraging　everybodyissuing　directions；　f　inding　fault；
rewarding　meritoh；　dear；　let　me　put　it　all　in　one　word；　and
say：　thoroughly　enjoying　herself。

Another　event　has　happened；　relating　to　papa。　It　so　distressed　me
that　I　even　forgot　to　think　of　Philipfor　a　little　while。

Traveling　by　railway　（I　suppose　because　I　am　not　used　to　it）
gives　me　the　headache。　When　I　got　to　our　station　here；　I　thought
it　would　do　me　more　good　to　walk　home　than　to　ride　in　the　noisy
omnibus。　Half…way　between　the　railway　and　the　town；　I　met　one　of
the　doctors。　He　is　a　member　of　our　congregation；　and　he　it　was
who　recommended　papa；　some　time　since；　to　give　up　his　work　as　a
minister　and　take　a　long　holiday　in　foreign　parts。

〃I　am　glad　to　have　met　with　you；〃　the　doctor　said。　〃Your　sister；
I　find；　is　away　on　a　visit；　and　I　want　to　speak　to　one　of　you
about　your　father。〃

It　seemed　that　he　had　been　observing　papa；　in　chapel；　from　what
he　called　his　own　medical　point　of　view。　He　did　not　conceal　from
me　that　he　had　drawn　conclusions　which　made　him　feel　uneasy。　〃It
may　be　anxiety；〃　he　said；　〃or　it　may　be　overwork。　In　either　case；
your　father　is　in　a　state　of　nervous　derangement；　which　is　likely
to　lead　to　serious　resultsunless　he　takes　the　advice　that　I
gave　him　when　he　last　consulted　me。　There　must　be　no　more
hesitation　about　it。　Be　careful　not　to　irritate　himbut　remember
that　he　must　rest。　You　and　your　sister　have　some　influence　over
him；　he　won't　listen　to　me。〃

Poor　dear　papa！　I　did　see　a　change　in　him　for　the　worsethough　I
had　only　been　away　for　so　short　a　time。

When　I　put　my　arms　round　his　neck；　and　kissed　him；　he　turned
pale；　and　then　flushed　up　suddenly：　the　tears　came　into　his　eyes。
Oh；　it　was　hard　to　follow　the　doctor's　advice；　and　not　to　cry；
too；　but　I　succeeded　in　controlling　myself。　I　sat　on　his　knee；
and　made　him　tell　me　all　that　I　have　written　here　about　Helena。
This　led　to　our　talking　next　of　the　new　lady；　who　is　to　live　with
us　as　a　member　of　the　family。　I　began　to　feel　less　uneasy　at　the
prospect　of　being　introduced　to　t