letters of two brides-第5章

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inkling　of　it。　In　spite　of　his　youth　and　his　title；　he　is　jealous　of
his　father。　He　has　no　position　in　the　State；　no　post　at　Court；　he
never　has　to　say；　〃I　am　going　to　the　Chamber。〃　I　alone　in　the　house
have　sixteen　hours　for　meditation。　My　father　is　absorbed　in　public
business　and　his　own　amusements；　my　mother；　too；　is　never　at　leisure；
no　member　of　the　household　practises　self…examination；　they　are
constantly　in　company；　and　have　hardly　time　to　live。

I　should　immensely　like　to　know　what　is　the　potent　charm　wielded　by
society　to　keep　people　prisoner　from　nine　every　evening　till　two　or
three　in　the　morning；　and　force　them　to　be　so　lavish　alike　of　strength
and　money。　When　I　longed　for　it；　I　had　no　idea　of　the　separations　it
brought　about；　or　its　overmastering　spell。　But；　then；　I　forget；　it　is
Paris　which　does　it　all。

It　is　possible；　it　seems；　for　members　of　one　family　to　live　side　by
side　and　know　absolutely　nothing　of　each　other。　A　half…fledged　nun
arrives；　and　in　a　couple　of　weeks　has　grasped　domestic　details；　of
which　the　master　diplomatist　at　the　head　of　the　house　is　quite
ignorant。　Or　perhaps　he　/does/　see；　and　shuts　his　eyes　deliberately；
as　part　of　the　father's　/role/。　There　is　a　mystery　here　which　I　must
plumb。



IV

THE　SAME　TO　THE　SAME
December　15th。

Yesterday；　at　two　o'clock；　I　went　to　drive　in　the　Champs…Elysees　and
the　Bois　de　Boulogne。　It　was　one　of　those　autumn　days　which　we　used　to
find　so　beautiful　on　the　banks　of　the　Loire。　So　I　have　seen　Paris　at
last！　The　Place　Louis　XV。　is　certainly　very　fine；　but　the　beauty　is
that　of　man's　handiwork。

I　was　dressed　to　perfection；　pensive；　with　set　face　（though　inwardly
much　tempted　to　laugh）；　under　a　lovely　hat；　my　arms　crossed。　Would　you
believe　it？　Not　a　single　smile　was　thrown　at　me；　not　one　poor　youth
was　struck　motionless　as　I　passed；　not　a　soul　turned　to　look　again；
and　yet　the　carriage　proceeded　with　a　deliberation　worthy　of　my　pose。

No；　I　am　wrong；　there　was　onea　duke；　and　a　charming　manwho
suddenly　reined　in　as　we　went　by。　The　individual　who　thus　saved
appearances　for　me　was　my　father；　and　he　proclaimed　himself　highly
gratified　by　what　he　saw。　I　met　my　mother　also；　who　sent　me　a
butterfly　kiss　from　the　tips　of　her　fingers。　The　worthy　Griffith；　who
fears　no　man；　cast　her　glances　hither　and　thither　without
discrimination。　In　my　judgment；　a　young　woman　should　always　know
exactly　what　her　eye　is　resting　on。

I　was　mad　with　rage。　One　man　actually　inspected　my　carriage　without
noticing　me。　This　flattering　homage　probably　came　from　a　carriage…
maker。　I　have　been　quite　out　in　the　reckoning　of　my　forces。　Plainly；
beauty；　that　rare　gift　which　comes　from　heaven；　is　commoner　in　Paris
than　I　thought。　I　saw　hats　doffed　with　deference　to　simpering　fools；　a
purple　face　called　forth　murmurs　of；　〃It　is　she！〃　My　mother　received
an　immense　amount　of　admiration。　There　is　an　answer　to　this　problem；
and　I　mean　to　find　it。

The　men；　my　dear；　seemed　to　me　generally　very　ugly。　The　very　few
exceptions　are　bad　copies　of　us。　Heaven　knows　what　evil　genius　has
inspired　their　costume；　it　is　amazingly　inelegant　compared　with　those
of　former　generations。　It　has　no　distinction；　no　beauty　of　color　or
romance；　it　appeals　neither　to　the　senses；　nor　the　mind；　nor　the　eye；
and　it　must　be　very　uncomfortable。　It　is　meagre　and　stunted。　The　hat；
above　all；　struck　me；　it　is　a　sort　of　truncated　column；　and　does　not
adapt　itself　in　the　least　to　the　shape　of　the　head；　but　I　am　told　it
is　easier　to　bring　about　a　revolution　than　to　invent　a　graceful　hat。
Courage　in　Paris　recoils　before　the　thought　of　appearing　in　a　round
felt；　and　for　lack　of　one　day's　daring；　men　stick　all　their　lives　to
this　ridiculous　headpiece。　And　yet　Frenchmen　are　said　to　be　fickle！

The　men　are　hideous　anyway；　whatever　they　put　on　their　heads。　I　have
seen　nothing　but　worn；　hard　faces；　with　no　calm　nor　peace　in　the
expression；　the　harsh　lines　and　furrows　speak　of　foiled　ambition　and
smarting　vanity。　A　fine　forehead　is　rarely　seen。

〃And　these　are　the　product　of　Paris！〃　I　said　to　Miss　Griffith。

〃Most　cultivated　and　pleasant　men；〃　she　replied。

I　was　silent。　The　heart　of　a　spinster　of　thirty…six　is　a　well　of
tolerance。

In　the　evening　I　went　to　the　ball；　where　I　kept　close　to　my　mother's
side。　She　gave　me　her　arm　with　a　devotion　which　did　not　miss　its
reward。　All　the　honors　were　for　her；　I　was　made　the　pretext　for
charming　compliments。　She　was　clever　enough　to　find　me　fools　for　my
partners；　who　one　and　all　expatiated　on　the　heat　and　the　beauty　of　the
ball；　till　you　might　suppose　I　was　freezing　and　blind。　Not　one　failed
to　enlarge　on　the　strange；　unheard…of；　extraordinary；　odd；　remarkable
factthat　he　saw　me　for　the　first　time。

My　dress；　which　dazzled　me　as　I　paraded　alone　in　my　white…and…gold
drawing…room；　was　barely　noticeable　amidst　the　gorgeous　finery　of　most
of　the　married　women。　Each　had　her　band　of　faithful　followers；　and
they　all　watched　each　other　askance。　A　few　were　radiant　in　triumphant
beauty；　and　amongst　these　was　my　mother。　A　girl　at　a　ball　is　a　mere
dancing…machinea　thing　of　no　consequence　whatever。

The　men；　with　rare　exceptions；　did　not　impress　me　more　favorably　here
than　at　the　Champs…Elysees。　They　have　a　used…up　look；　their　features
are　meaningless；　or　rather　they　have　all　the　same　meaning。　The　proud；
stalwart　bearing　which　we　find　in　the　portraits　of　our　ancestorsmen
who　joined　moral　to　physical　vigorhas　disappeared。　Yet　in　this
gathering　there　was　one　man　of　remarkable　ability；　who　stood　out　from
the　rest　by　the　beauty　of　his　face。　But　even　he　did　not　rouse　in　me
the　feeling　which　I　should　have　expected。　I　do　not　know　his　works；　and
he　is　a　man　of　no　family。　Whatever　the　genius　and　the　merits　of　a
plebeian　or　a　commoner；　he　could　never　stir　my　blood。　Besides；　this
man　was　obviously　so　much　more　taken　up　with　himself　than　with　anybody
else；　that　I　could　not　but　think　these　great　brain…workers　must　look
on　us　as　things　rather　than　persons。　When　men　of　intellectual　power
love；　they　ought　to　give　up　writing；　otherwise　their　love　is　not　the
real　thing。　The　lady　of　their　heart　does　not　come　first　in　all　their
thoughts。　I　seemed　to　read　all　this　in　the　bearing　of　the　man　I　speak
of。　I　am　told　he　is　a　professor；　orator；　and　author；　whose　ambition
makes　him　the　slave　of　every　bigwig。

My　mind　was　made　up　on　the　spot。　It　was　unworthy　of　me；　I　determined；
to　quarrel　with　society　for　not　being　impressed　by　my　merits；　and　I
gave　myself　up　to　the　simple　pleasure　of　dancing；　which　I　thoroughly
enjoyed。　I　heard　a　great　deal　of　inept　gossip　about　people　of　whom　I
know　nothing；　but　perhaps　it　is　my　ignorance　on　many　subjects　which
prevents　me　from　appreciating　it；　as　I　saw　that　most　men　and　women
took　a　lively　pleasure　in　certain　remarks；　whether　falling　from　their
own　lips　or　those　of　others。　Society　bristles　with　enigmas　which　look
hard　to　solve。　It　is　a　perfect　maze　of　intrigue。　Yet　I　am　fairly　quick
of　sight　and　hearing；　and　as　to　my　wits；　Mlle。　de　Maucombe　does　not
need　to　be　told！

I　returned　home　tired　with　a　pleasant　sort　of　tiredness；　and　in　all
innocence　began　describing　my　sensations　to　my　mother；　who　was　with
me。　She　checked　me　with　the　warning　that　I　must　never　say　such　things
to　any　one　but　her。

〃My　dear　child；〃　she　added；　〃it　needs　as　much　tact　to　know　when　to　be
silent　as　when　to　speak。〃

This　advice　brought　home　to　me　the　nature　of　the　sensations　which
ought　to　be　concealed　from　every　one；　not　excepting　perhaps　even　a
mother。　At　a　glance　I　measured　the　vast　field　of　feminine　duplicity。　I
can　assure　you；　sweetheart；　that　we；　in　our　unabashed　simplicity；
would　pass　for　two　very　wide…awake　little　scandal…mongers。　What
lessons　may　be　conveyed　in　a　finger　on　the　lips；　in　a　word；　a　look！
All　in　a　moment　I　was　seized　with　excessive　shyness。　What！　may　I　never
again　speak　of　the　natural　pleasure　I　feel　in　the　exercise　of　dancing？
〃How　then；〃　I　said　to　myself；　〃about　the　deeper　feelings？〃

I　went　to　bed　sorrowful；　and　I　still　suffer　from　the　shock　produced　by
this　first　collision　of　my　frank；　joyous　nature　with　the　harsh　laws　of
society。　Already　the　highway　hedges　are　flecked　with　my　white　wool！
Farewell；　beloved。



V

RENEE　DE　MAUCOMBE　TO　LOUISE　DE　CHAULIEU
October。

How　deeply　your　letter　moved　me；　above　all；　when　I　compare　our　widely
different　destinies！　How　brilliant　is　the　world　you　are　entering；　how
peaceful　the　retreat　where　I　shall　end　my　modest　career！

In　the　Castle　of　Maucombe；　which　is　so　well　known　to　you　by
description　that　I　shall　say　no　more　of　it；　I　found　my　room　almost
exactly　as　I　left　it；　only　now　I　can　enjoy　the　splendid　view　it　gives
of　the　Gemenos　valley；　which　my　childish　eyes　used　to　see　without
comprehending。　A　fortnight　after　my　arrival；　my　father　and　mother　took
me；　along　with　my　two　brothers；　to　dine　with　one　of　our　neighbors；　M。
de　l'Estorade；　an　old　gentleman　of　good　family；　who　has　made　himself
rich；　after　the　provincial　fashion；　by　scraping　and　paring。

M。　de　l'Estorade　was　unable　to　save　his　only　son　from　the　clutches　of
Bonaparte；　after　successfully　eluding　the　conscription；　he　was　forced
to　send　him　to　the　army　in　1813；　to　join　the　Emperor's　bodyguard。
After　Leipsic　no　more　was　heard　of　him。　M。　de　Montriveau；　whom　the
father　interviewed　in　1814；　declared　that　he　had　seen　him　taken　by　the
Russians。　Mme。　de　l'Estorade　died　of　grief　whilst　a　vain　search　was
being　made　in　Russia。　The　Baron；　a　very　pious　old　man；　practised　that
fine　theological　virtue　which　we　used　to　cultivate　at　BloisHope！
Hope　made　him　see　his　son　in　dreams。　He　hoarded　his　income　for　him；
and　guarded　carefully　the　portion　of　inheritance　which　fell　to　him
from　the　family　of　the　late　Mme。　de　l'Estorade；　no　one　venturing　to
ridicule　the　old　man。

At　last　it　dawned　upon　me　that　the　unexpected　return　of　this　son　was
the　cause　of　my　own。　Who　could　have　imagined；　whilst　fancy　was　leading
us　a　giddy　dance；　that　my　destined　husband　was　slowly　traveling　on
foot　through　Russia；　Poland；　and　Germany？　His　bad　luck　only　forsook
him　at　Berlin；　where　the　French　Minister　helped　his　return　to　his
native　country。　M。　de　l'Estorade；　the　father；　who　is　a　small　landed
proprietor　in　Provence；　with　an　income　of　about　ten　thousand　livres；
has　not　sufficient　European　fame　to　interest　the　world　in　the
wandering　Knight　de　l'Estorade；　whose　name　smacks　of　his　adventures。

The　accumulated　income　of　twelve　thousand　livres　from　the　property　of
Mme。　de　l'Estorade；　with　the　addition　of　the　father's　savings；
provides　the　poor　guard　of　honor　with　something　like　two　hundred　and
fifty　thousand　livres；　not　counting　house　and　landsquite　a
considerable　fortune　in　Provence。　His　worthy　father　had　bought；　on　the
very　eve　of　the　Chevalier's　return；　a　fine　but　badly…managed　estate；
where　he　designs　to　plant　ten　thousand　mulberry…trees；　raised　in　his
nursery　with　a　special　view　to　this　acquisition。　The　Baron；　having
found　his　long…lost　son；　has　now　but　one　thought；　to　marry　him；　and
marry　him　to　a　girl　of　good　family。

My　father　and　mother　entered　into　their　neighbor's　idea　with　an　eye　to
my　interests　so　soon　as　they　discovered　that　Renee　de　Maucombe　would
be　acceptable　without　a　dowry