letters of two brides-第41章

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find　in　all　this　fresh　reason　for　loving　him。　I　have　met　him；　and
think　him　the　most　delightful　young　fellow　in　Paris。　Yes！　dear　child；
when　I　saw　him；　I　had　no　difficulty　in　understanding　that　a　woman
might　lose　her　head　about　him；　his　soul　is　mirrored　in　his
countenance。　If　I　were　you；　I　should　settle　the　widow　and　her　children
at　the　chalet；　in　a　pretty　little　cottage　which　you　could　have　built
for　them；　and　adopt　the　boys！

Be　at　peace；　then；　dear　soul；　and　plan　this　little　surprise；　in　your
turn；　for　Gaston。



LVI

MME。　GASTON　TO　THE　COMTESSE　DE　L'ESTORADE

Ah！　my　dear　friend；　what　can　I　say　in　answer　except　the　cruel　/〃It　is
too　late〃/　of　that　fool　Lafayette　to　his　royal　master？　Oh！　my　life；　my
sweet　life；　what　physician　will　give　it　back　to　me。　My　own　hand　has
dealt　the　deathblow。　Alas！　have　I　not　been　a　mere　will…o'…the…wisp；
whose　twinkling　spark　was　fated　to　perish　before　it　reached　a　flame？
My　eyes　rain　torrents　of　tearsand　yet　they　must　not　fall　when　I　am
with　him。　I　fly　to　him；　and　he　seeks　me。　My　despair　is　all　within。
This　torture　Dante　forgot　to　place　in　his　/Inferno。/　Come　to　see　me
die！



LVII

THE　COMTESSE　DE　L'ESTORADE　TO　THE　COMTE　DE　L'ESTORADE
THE　CHALET；　August　7th。

My　love；Take　the　children　away　to　Provence　without　me；　I　remain　with
Louise；　who　has　only　a　few　days　yet　to　live。　I　cannot　leave　either　her
or　her　husband；　for　whose　reason　I　fear。

You　know　the　scrap　of　letter　which　sent　me　flying　to　Ville　d'Avray；
picking　up　the　doctors　on　my　way。　Since　then　I　have　not　left　my
darling　friend；　and　it　has　been　impossible　to　write　to　you；　for　I　have
sat　up　every　night　for　a　fortnight。

When　I　arrived；　I　found　her　with　Gaston；　in　full　dress；　beautiful；
laughing；　happy。　It　was　a　heroic　falsehood！　They　were　like　two　lovely
children　together　in　their　restored　confidence。　For　a　moment　I　was
deceived；　like　Gaston；　by　the　effontery；　but　Louise　pressed　my　hand；
whispering：

〃He　must　not　know；　I　am　dying。〃

An　icy　chill　fell　over　me　as　I　felt　her　burning　hand　and　saw　the　red
spots　on　her　cheeks。　I　congratulated　myself　on　my　prudence　in　leaving
the　doctors　in　the　wood　till　they　should　be　sent　for。

〃Leave　us　for　a　little；〃　she　said　to　Gaston。　〃Two　women　who　have　not
met　for　five　years　have　plenty　of　secrets　to　talk　over；　and　Renee；　I
have　no　doubt；　has　things　to　confide　in　me。〃

Directly　we　were　alone；　she　flung　herself　into　my　arms；　unable　longer
to　restrain　her　tears。

〃Tell　me　about　it；〃　I　said。　〃I　have　brought　with　me；　in　case　of　need；
the　best　surgeon　and　the　best　physician　from　the　hospital；　and
Bianchon　as　well；　there　are　four　altogether。〃

〃Ah！〃　she　cried；　〃have　them　in　at　once　if　they　can　save　me；　if　there
is　still　time。　The　passion　which　hurried　me　to　death　now　cries　for
life！〃

〃But　what　have　you　done　to　yourself？〃

〃I　have　in　a　few　days　brought　myself　to　the　last　stage　of
consumption。〃

〃But　how？〃

〃I　got　myself　into　a　profuse　perspiration　in　the　night；　and　then　ran
out　and　lay　down　by　the　side　of　the　lake　in　the　dew。　Gaston　thinks　I
have　a　cold；　and　I　am　dying！〃

〃Send　him　to　Paris；　I　will　fetch　the　doctors　myself；〃　I　said；　as　I
rushed　out　wildly　to　the　spot　where　I　had　left　them。

Alas！　my　love；　after　the　consultation　was　over；　not　one　of　the　doctors
gave　me　the　least　hope；　they　all　believe　that　Louise　will　die　with　the
fall　of　the　leaves。　The　dear　child's　constitution　has　wonderfully
helped　the　success　of　her　plan。　It　seems　she　has　a　predisposition　to
this　complaint；　and　though；　in　the　ordinary　course；　she　might　have
lived　a　long　time；　a　few　days'　folly　has　made　the　case　desperate。

I　cannot　tell　you　what　I　felt　on　hearing　this　sentence；　based　on　such
clear　explanations。　You　know　that　I　have　lived　in　Louise　as　much　as　in
my　own　life。　I　was　simply　crushed；　and　could　not　stir　to　escort　to　the
door　these　harbingers　of　evil。　I　don't　know　how　long　I　remained　lost
in　bitter　thoughts；　the　tears　running　down　my　cheeks；　when　I　was
roused　from　my　stupor　by　the　words：

〃So　there　is　no　hope　for　me！〃　in　a　clear；　angelic　voice。

It　was　Louise；　with　her　hand　on　my　shoulder。　She　made　me　get　up；　and
carried　me　off　to　her　small　drawing…room。　With　a　beseeching　glance；
she　went　on：

〃Stay　with　me　to　the　end；　I　won't　have　doleful　faces　round　me。　Above
all；　I　must　keep　the　truth　from　/him/。　I　know　that　I　have　the　strength
to　do　it。　I　am　full　of　youth　and　spirit；　and　can　die　standing！　For
myself；　I　have　no　regrets。　I　am　dying　as　I　wished　to　die；　still　young
and　beautiful；　in　the　perfection　of　my　womanhood。

〃As　for　him；　I　can　see　very　well　now　that　I　should　have　made　his　life
miserable。　Passion　has　me　in　its　grips；　like　a　struggling　fawn；
impatient　of　the　toils。　My　groundless　jealousy　has　already　wounded　him
sorely。　When　the　day　came　that　my　suspicions　met　only　indifference
which　in　the　long　run　is　the　rightful　meed　of　all　jealousywell；　that
would　have　been　my　death。　I　have　had　my　share　of　life。　There　are
people　whose　names　on　the　muster…roll　of　the　world　show　sixty　years　of
service；　and　yet　in　all　that　time　they　have　not　had　two　years　of　real
life；　whilst　my　record　of　thirty　is　doubled　by　the　intensity　of　my
love。

〃Thus　for　him；　as　well　as　for　me；　the　close　is　a　happy　one。　But
between　us；　dear　Renee；　it　is　different。　You　lose　a　loving　sister；　and
that　is　a　loss　which　nothing　can　repair。　You　alone　here　have　the　right
to　mourn　my　death。〃

After　a　long　pause；　during　which　I　could　only　see　her　through　a　mist
of　tears；　she　continued：

〃The　moral　of　my　death　is　a　cruel　one。　My　dear　doctor　in　petticoats
was　right；　marriage　cannot　rest　upon　passion　as　its　foundation；　nor
even　upon　love。　How　fine　and　noble　is　your　life！　keeping　always　to　the
one　safe　road；　you　give　your　husband　an　ever…growing　affection；　while
the　passionate　eagerness　with　which　I　threw　myself　into　wedded　life
was　bound　in　nature　to　diminish。　Twice　have　I　gone　astray；　and　twice
has　Death　stretched　forth　his　bony　hand　to　strike　my　happiness。　The
first　time；　he　robbed　me　of　the　noblest　and　most　devoted　of　men；　now
it　is　my　turn；　the　grinning　monster　tears　me　from　the　arms　of　my　poet
husband；　with　all　his　beauty　and　his　grace。

〃Yet　I　would　not　complain。　Have　I　not　known　in　turn　two　men；　each　the
very　pattern　of　nobilityone　in　mind；　the　other　in　outward　form？　In
Felipe；　the　soul　dominated　and　transformed　the　body；　in　Gaston；　one
could　not　say　which　was　supremeheart；　mind；　or　grace　of　form。　I　die
adoredwhat　more　could　I　wish　for？　Time；　perhaps；　in　which　to　draw
near　the　God　of　whom　I　may　have　too　little　thought。　My　spirit　will
take　its　flight　towards　Him；　full　of　love；　and　with　the　prayer　that
some　day；　in　the　world　above；　He　will　unite　me　once　more　to　the　two
who　made　a　heaven　of　my　life　below。　Without　them；　paradise　would　be　a
desert　to　me。

〃To　others；　my　example　would　be　fatal；　for　mine　was　no　common　lot。　To
meet　a　Felipe　or　a　Gaston　is　more　than　mortals　can　expect；　and
therefore　the　doctrine　of　society　in　regard　to　marriage　accords　with
the　natural　law。　Woman　is　weak；　and　in　marrying　she　ought　to　make　an
entire　sacrifice　of　her　will　to　the　man　who；　in　return；　should　lay　his
selfishness　at　her　feet。　The　stir　which　women　of　late　years　have
created　by　their　whining　and　insubordination　is　ridiculous；　and　only
shows　how　well　we　deserve　the　epithet　of　children；　bestowed　by
philosophers　on　our　sex。〃

She　continued　talking　thus　in　the　gentle　voice　you　know　so　well；
uttering　the　gravest　truths　in　the　prettiest　manner；　until　Gaston
entered；　bringing　with　him　his　sister…in…law；　the　two　children；　and
the　English　nurse；　whom；　at　Louise's　request；　he　had　been　to　fetch
from　Paris。

〃Here　are　the　pretty　instruments　of　my　torture；〃　she　said；　as　her
nephews　approached。　〃Was　not　the　mistake　excusable？　What　a　wonderful
likeness　to　their　uncle！〃

She　was　most　friendly　to　Mme。　Gaston　the　elder　and　begged　that　she
would　look　upon　the　chalet　as　her　home；　in　short；　she　played　the
hostess　to　her　in　her　best　de　Chaulieu　manner；　in　which　no　one　can
rival　her。

I　wrote　at　once　to　the　Duc　and　Duchesse　de　Chaulieu；　the　Duc　de
Rhetore；　and　the　Duc　de　Lenoncourt…Givry；　as　well　as　to　Madeleine。　It
was　time。　Next　day；　Louise；　worn　out　with　so　much　exertion；　was　unable
to　go　out；　indeed；　she　only　got　up　for　dinner。　In　the　course　of　the
evening；　Madeleine　de　Lenoncourt；　her　two　brothers；　and　her　mother
arrived。　The　coolness　which　Louise's　second　marriage　had　caused
between　herself　and　her　family　disappeared。　Every　day　since　that
evening；　Louise's　father　and　both　her　brothers　have　ridden　over　in　the
morning；　and　the　two　duchesses　spend　all　their　evenings　at　the　chalet。
Death　unites　as　well　as　separates；　it　silences　all　paltry　feeling。

Louise　is　perfection　in　her　charm；　her　grace；　her　good　sense；　her　wit；
and　her　tenderness。　She　has　retained　to　the　last　that　perfect　tact　for
which　she　has　been　so　famous；　and　she　lavishes　on　us　the　treasures　of
her　brilliant　mind；　which　made　her　one　of　the　queens　of　Paris。

〃I　should　like　to　look　well　even　in　my　coffin；〃　she　said　with　her
matchless　smile；　as　she　lay　down　on　the　bed　where　she　was　to　linger
for　a　fortnight。

Her　room　has　nothing　of　the　sick…chamber　in　it；　medicines；　ointments；
the　whole　apparatus　of　nursing；　is　carefully　concealed。

〃Is　not　my　deathbed　pretty！〃　she　said　to　the　Sevres　priest　who　came　to
confess　her。

We　gloated　over　her　like　misers。　All　this　anxiety；　and　the　terrible
truths　which　dawned　on　him；　have　prepared　Gaston　for　the　worst。　He　is
full　of　courage；　but　the　blow　has　gone　home。　It　would　not　surprise　me
to　see　him　follow　his　wife　in　the　natural　course。　Yesterday；　as　we
were　walking　round　the　lake；　he　said　to　me：

〃I　must　be　a　father　to　those　two　children；〃　and　he　pointed　to　his
sister…in…law；　who　was　taking　the　boys　for　a　walk。　〃But　though　I　shall
do　nothing　to　hasten　my　end；　I　want　your　promise　that　you　will　be　a
second　mother　to　them；　and　will　persuade　your　husband　to　accept　the
office　of　guardian；　which　I　shall　depute　to　him　in　conjunction　with　my
sister…in…law。〃

He　said　this　quite　simply；　like　a　man　who　knows　he　is　not　long　for
this　world。　He　has　smiles　on　his　face　to　meet　Louise's；　and　it　is　only
I　whom　he　does　not　deceive。　He　is　a　mate　for　her　in　courage。

Louise　has　expressed　a　wish　to　see　her　godson；　but　I　am　not　sorry　he
should　be　in　Provence；　she　might　want　to　remember　him　generously；　and
I　should　be　in　a　great　difficulty。

Good…bye；　my　love。

August　25th　（her　birthday）。

Yesterday　evening　Louise　was　delirious　for　a　short　time；　but　her
delirium　was　the　prettiest　babbling；　which　shows　that　even　the　madness
of　gifted　people　is　not　that　of　fools　or　nobodies。　In　a　mere　thread　of
a　voice　she　sang　some　Italian　airs　from　/I　Puritani；　La　Sonnambula；
Moise/；　while　we　stood　round　the　bed　in　silence。　Not　one　of　us；　not
even　the　Duc　de　Rhetore；　had　dry　eyes；　so　clear　was　it　to　us　all　that
her　soul　was　in　this　fashion　passing　from　us。　She　could　no　longer　see
us！　Yet　she　was　there　still　in　the　charm　of　the　faint　melody；　with　its
sweetness　not　of　this　earth。

During　the　night　the　death　agony　began。　It　is　now　seven　in　the
morning；　and　I　have　just　myself　raised　her　from　bed。　Some　flicker　of
strength　revived；　she　wished　to　sit　by