letters of two brides-第40章

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Nothing　would　be　easier　than　for　me　to　ransack　the　drawer　sometime
while　he　is　working　and　pretend　great　surprise　at　finding　the　money
gone。　But　that　would　be　going　half…way　to　meet　the　answer；　〃Oh！　my
friend　So…and…So　was　hard　up！〃　etc。；　which　a　man　of　Gaston's　quick　wit
would　not　have　far　to　seek。

The　moral；　my　dear；　is　that　the　brilliant　success　of　this　play；　which
all　Paris　is　crowding　to　see；　is　due　to　us；　though　the　whole　credit
goes　to　Nathan。　I　am　represented　by　one　of　the　two　stars　in　the
legend：　Et　M　*　*。　I　saw　the　first　night　from　the　depths　of　one　of　the
stage　boxes。

July　1st。

Gaston's　work　and　his　visits　to　Paris　shall　continue。　He　is　preparing
new　plays；　partly　because　he　wants　a　pretext　for　going　to　Paris；
partly　in　order　to　make　money。　Three　plays　have　been　accepted；　and　two
more　are　commissioned。

Oh！　my　dear；　I　am　lost；　all　is　darkness　around　me。　I　would　set　fire　to
the　house　in　a　moment　if　that　would　bring　light。　What　does　it　all
mean？　Is　he　ashamed　of　taking　money　from　me？　He　is　too　high…minded　for
so　trumpery　a　matter　to　weigh　with　him。　Besides；　scruples　of　the　kind
could　only　be　the　outcome　of　some　love　affair。　A　man　would　take
anything　from　his　wife；　but　from　the　woman　he　has　ceased　to　care　for；
or　is　thinking　of　deserting；　it　is　different。　If　he　needs　such　large
sums；　it　must　be　to　spend　them　on　a　woman。　For　himself；　why　should　he
hesitate　to　draw　from　my　purse？　Our　savings　amount　to　one　hundred
thousand　francs！

In　short；　my　sweetheart；　I　have　explored　a　whole　continent　of
possibilities；　and　after　carefully　weighing　all　the　evidence；　am
convinced　I　have　a　rival。　I　am　desertedfor　whom？　At　all　costs　I　must
see　the　unknown。

July　10th。

Light　has　come；　and　it　is　all　over　with　me。　Yes；　Renee；　at　the　age　of
thirty；　in　the　perfection　of　my　beauty；　with　all　the　resources　of　a
ready　wit　and　the　seductive　charms　of　dress　at　my　command；　I　am
betrayedand　for　whom？　A　large…boned　Englishwoman；　with　big　feet　and
thick　waista　regular　British　cow！　There　is　no　longer　room　for　doubt。
I　will　tell　you　the　history　of　the　last　few　days。

Worn　out　with　suspicions；　which　were　fed　by　Gaston's　guilty　silence
（for；　if　he　had　helped　a　friend；　why　keep　it　a　secret　from　me？）；　his
insatiable　desire　for　money；　and　his　frequent　journeys　to　Paris；
jealous　too　of　the　work　from　which　he　seemed　unable　to　tear　himself；　I
at　last　made　up　my　mind　to　take　certain　steps；　of　such　a　degrading
nature　that　I　cannot　tell　you　about　them。　Suffice　it　to　say　that　three
days　ago　I　ascertained　that　Gaston；　when　in　Paris；　visits　a　house　in
the　Rue　de　la　Ville　l'Eveque；　where　he　guards　his　mistress　with
jealous　mystery；　unexampled　in　Paris。　The　porter　was　surly；　and　I
could　get　little　out　of　him；　but　that　little　was　enough　to　put　an　end
to　any　lingering　hope；　and　with　hope　to　life。　On　this　point　my　mind
was　resolved；　and　I　only　waited　to　learn　the　whole　truth　first。

With　this　object　I　went　to　Paris　and　took　rooms　in　a　house　exactly
opposite　the　one　which　Gaston　visits。　Thence　I　saw　him　with　my　own
eyes　enter　the　courtyard　on　horseback。　Too　soon　a　ghastly　fact　forced
itself　on　me。　This　Englishwoman；　who　seems　to　me　about　thirty…six；　is
known　as　Mme。　Gaston。　This　discovery　was　my　deathblow。

I　saw　him　next　walking　to　the　Tuileries　with　a　couple　of　children。　Oh！
my　dear；　two　children；　the　living　images　of　Gaston！　The　likeness　is　so
strong　that　it　bears　scandal　on　the　face　of　it。　And　what　pretty
children！　in　their　handsome　English　costumes！　She　is　the　mother　of　his
children。　Here　is　the　key　to　the　whole　mystery。

The　woman　herself　might　be　a　Greek　statue；　stepped　down　from　some
monument。　Cold　and　white　as　marble；　she　moves　sedately　with　a　mother's
pride。　She　is　undeniably　beautiful　but　heavy　as　a　man…of…war。　There　is
no　breeding　or　distinction　about　her；　nothing　of　the　English　lady。
Probably　she　is　a　farmer's　daughter　from　some　wretched　and　remote
country　village；　or；　it　may　be；　the　eleventh　child　of　some　poor
clergyman！

I　reached　home；　after　a　miserable　journey；　during　which　all　sorts　of
fiendish　thoughts　had　me　at　their　mercy；　with　hardly　any　life　left　in
me。　Was　she　married？　Did　he　know　her　before　our　marriage？　Had　she　been
deserted　by　some　rich　man；　whose　mistress　she　was；　and　thus　thrown
back　upon　Gaston's　hands？　Conjectures　without　end　flitted　through　my
brain；　as　though　conjecture　were　needed　in　the　presence　of　the
children。

The　next　day　I　returned　to　Paris；　and　by　a　free　use　of　my　purse
extracted　from　the　porter　the　information　that　Mme。　Gaston　was　legally
married。

His　reply　to　my　question　took　the　form；　〃Yes；　/Miss/。〃

July　15th。

My　dear；　my　love　for　Gaston　is　stronger　than　ever　since　that　morning；
and　he　has　every　appearance　of　being　still　more　deeply　in　love。　He　is
so　young！　A　score　of　times　it　has　been　on　my　lips；　when　we　rise　in　the
morning；　to　say；　〃Then　you　love　me　better　than　the　lady　of　the　Rue　de
la　Ville　l'Eveque？〃　But　I　dare　not　explain　to　myself　why　the　words　are
checked　on　my　tongue。

〃Are　you　very　fond　of　children？〃　I　asked。

〃Oh；　yes！〃　was　his　reply；　〃but　children　will　come！〃

〃What　makes　you　think　so？〃

〃I　have　consulted　the　best　doctors；　and　they　agree　in　advising　me　to
travel　for　a　couple　of　months。〃

〃Gaston；〃　I　said；　〃if　love　in　absence　had　been　possible　for　me；　do　you
suppose　I　should　ever　have　left　the　convent？〃

He　laughed；　but　as　for　me；　dear；　the　word　〃travel〃　pierced　my　heart。
Rather；　far　rather；　would　I　leap　from　the　top　of　the　house　than　be
rolled　down　the　staircase；　step　by　step。Farewell；　my　sweetheart。　I
have　arranged　for　my　death　to　be　easy　and　without　horrors；　but
certain。　I　made　my　will　yesterday。　You　can　come　to　me　now；　the
prohibition　is　removed。　Come；　then；　and　receive　my　last　farewell。　I
will　not　die　by　inches；　my　death；　like　my　life；　shall　bear　the　impress
of　dignity　and　grace。

Good…bye；　dear　sister　soul；　whose　affection　has　never　wavered　nor
grown　weary；　but　has　been　the　constant　tender　moonlight　of　my　soul。　If
the　intensity　of　passion　has　not　been　ours；　at　least　we　have　been
spared　its　venomous　bitterness。　How　rightly　you　have　judged　of　life！
Farewell。



LV

THE　COMTESSE　DE　L'ESTORADE　TO　MME。　GASTON
July　16th。

My　dear　Louise；I　send　this　letter　by　an　express　before　hastening　to
the　chalet　myself。　Take　courage。　Your　last　letter　seemed　to　me　so
frantic；　that　I　thought　myself　justified；　under　the　circumstances；　in
confiding　all　to　Louis；　it　was　a　question　of　saving　you　from　yourself。
If　the　means　we　have　employed　have　been；　like　yours；　repulsive；　yet
the　result　is　so　satisfactory　that　I　am　certain　you　will　approve。　I
went　so　far　as　to　set　the　police　to　work；　but　the　whole　thing　remains
a　secret　between　the　prefect；　ourselves　and　you。

In　one　word；　Gaston　is　a　jewel！　But　here　are　the　facts。　His　brother；
Louis　Gaston；　died　at　Calcutta；　while　in　the　service　of　a　mercantile
company；　when　he　was　on　the　very　point　of　returning　to　France；　a　rich；
prosperous；　married　man；　having　received　a　very　large　fortune　with　his
wife；　who　was　the　widow　of　an　English　merchant。　For　ten　years　he　had
worked　hard　that　he　might　be　able　to　send　home　enough　to　support　his
brother；　to　whom　he　was　devotedly　attached；　and　from　whom　his　letters
generously　concealed　all　his　trials　and　disappointments。

Then　came　the　failure　of　the　great　Halmer　house；　the　widow　was　ruined；
and　the　sudden　shock　affected　Louis　Gaston's　brain。　He　had　no　mental
energy　left　to　resist　the　disease　which　attacked　him；　and　he　died　in
Bengal；　whither　he　had　gone　to　try　and　realize　the　remnants　of　his
wife's　property。　The　dear；　good　fellow　had　deposited　with　a　banker　a
first　sum　of　three　hundred　thousand　francs；　which　was　to　go　to　his
brother；　but　the　banker　was　involved　in　the　Halmer　crash；　and　thus
their　last　resource　failed　them。

Louis'　widow；　the　handsome　woman　whom　you　took　for　your　rival；　arrived
in　Paris　with　two　childrenyour　nephewsand　an　empty　purse；　her
mother's　jewels　having　barely　sufficed　to　pay　for　bringing　them　over。
The　instructions　which　Louis　Gaston　had　given　the　banker　for　sending
the　money　to　his　brother　enabled　the　widow　to　find　your　husband's
former　home。　As　Gaston　had　disappeared　without　leaving　any　address；
Mme。　Louis　Gaston　was　directed　to　d'Arthez；　the　only　person　who　could
give　any　information　about　him。

D'Arthez　was　the　more　ready　to　relieve　the　young　woman's　pressing
needs；　because　Louis　Gaston；　at　the　time　of　his　marriage　four　years
before；　had　written　to　make　inquiries　about　his　brother　from　the
famous　author；　whom　he　knew　to　be　one　of　his　friends。　The　Captain　had
consulted　d'Arthez　as　to　the　best　means　of　getting　the　money　safely
transferred　to　Marie；　and　d'Arthez　had　replied；　telling　him　that
Gaston　was　now　a　rich　man　through　his　marriage　with　the　Baronne　de
Macumer。　The　personal　beauty；　which　was　the　mother's　rich　heritage　to
her　sons；　had　saved　them　bothone　in　India；　the　other　in　Parisfrom
destitution。　A　touching　story；　is　it　not？

D'Arthez　naturally　wrote；　after　a　time；　to　tell　your　husband　of　the
condition　of　his　sister…in…law　and　her　children；　informing　him；　at　the
same　time；　of　the　generous　intentions　of　the　Indian　Gaston　towards　his
Paris　brother；　which　an　unhappy　chance　had　frustrated。　Gaston；　as　you
may　imagine；　hurried　off　to　Paris。　Here　is　the　first　ride　accounted
for。　During　the　last　five　years　he　had　saved　fifty　thousand　francs　out
of　the　income　you　forced　him　to　accept；　and　this　sum　he　invested　in
the　public　funds　under　the　names　of　his　two　nephews；　securing　them
each；　in　this　way；　an　income　of　twelve　hundred　francs。　Next　he
furnished　his　sister…in…law's　rooms；　and　promised　her　a　quarterly
allowance　of　three　thousand　francs。　Here　you　see　the　meaning　of　his
dramatic　labors　and　the　pleasure　caused　him　by　the　success　of　his
first　play。

Mme。　Gaston；　therefore；　is　no　rival　of　yours；　and　has　every　right　to
your　name。　A　man　of　Gaston's　sensitive　delicacy　was　bound　to　keep　the
affair　secret　from　you；　knowing　as　he　did；　your　generous　nature。　Nor
does　he　look　on　what　you　give　him　as　his　own。　D'Arthez　read　me　the
letter　he　had　from　your　husband；　asking　him　to　be　one　of　the　witnesses
at　his　marriage。　Gaston　in　this　declares　that　his　happiness　would　have
been　perfect　but　for　the　one　drawback　of　his　poverty　and　indebtedness
to　you。　A　virgin　soul　is　at　the　mercy　of　such　scruples。　Either　they
make　themselves　felt　or　they　do　not；　and　when　they　do；　it　is　easy　to
imagine　the　conflict　of　feeling　and　embarrassment　to　which　they　give
rise。　Nothing　is　more　natural　than　Gaston's　wish　to　provide　in　secret
a　suitable　maintenance　for　the　woman　who　is　his　brother's　widow；　and
who　had　herself　set　aside　one　hundred　thousand　francs　for　him　from　her
own　fortune。　She　is　a　handsome　woman；　warm…hearted；　and　extremely
well…bred；　but　not　clever。　She　is　a　mother；　and；　you　may　be　sure；　I
lost　my　heart　to　her　at　first　sight　when　I　found　her　with　one　child　in
her　arms；　and　the　other　dressed　like　a　little　lord。　The　children
first！　is　written　in　every　detail　of　her　house。

Far　from　being　angry；　therefore；　with　your　beloved　husband；　you　should
find　in　all　this　fresh　reason　for　loving　him。　I　have　met　him；　and
think　him　the　most　delightful　young　fellow　in　Paris。　Yes！