letters of two brides-第11章

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become　necessary　to　me。　I　say　to　myself；　〃Once　more；　and　then　I　will
speak。〃

His　voice；　my　dear；　is　sweetly　thrilling；　his　speaking　is　just　like　la
Fodor's　singing。　His　manners　are　simple；　entirely　free　from
affectation。　And　what　teeth！

Just　now；　as　he　was　leaving；　he　seemed　to　divine　the　interest　I　take
in　him；　and　made　a　gestureoh！　most　respectfullyas　though　to　take
my　hand　and　kiss　it；　then　checked　himself；　apparently　terrified　at　his
own　boldness　and　the　chasm　he　had　been　on　the　point　of　bridging。　There
was　the　merest　suggestion　of　all　this；　but　I　understood　it　and　smiled；
for　nothing　is　more　pathetic　than　to　see　the　frank　impulse　of　an
inferior　checking　itself　abashed。　The　love　of　a　plebeian　for　a　girl　of
noble　birth　implies　such　courage！

My　smile　emboldened　him。　The　poor　fellow　looked　blindly　about　for　his
hat；　he　seemed　determined　not　to　find　it；　and　I　handed　it　to　him　with
perfect　gravity。　His　eyes　were　wet　with　unshed　tears。　It　was　a　mere
passing　moment；　yet　a　world　of　facts　and　ideas　were　contained　in　it。
We　understood　each　other　so　well　that；　on　a　sudden；　I　held　out　my　hand
for　him　to　kiss。

Possibly　this　was　equivalent　to　telling　him　that　love　might　bridge　the
interval　between　us。　Well；　I　cannot　tell　what　moved　me　to　do　it。
Griffith　had　her　back　turned　as　I　proudly　extended　my　little　white
paw。　I　felt　the　fire　of　his　lips；　tempered　by　two　big　tears。　Oh！　my
love；　I　lay　in　my　armchair；　nerveless；　dreamy。　I　was　happy；　and　I
cannot　explain　to　you　how　or　why。　What　I　felt　only　a　poet　could
express。　My　condescension；　which　fills　me　with　shame　now；　seemed　to　me
then　something　to　be　proud　of；　he　had　fascinated　me；　that　is　my　one
excuse。

Friday。

This　man　is　really　very　handsome。　He　talks　admirably；　and　has
remarkable　intellectual　power。　My　dear；　he　is　a　very　Bossuet　in　force
and　persuasiveness　when　he　explains　the　mechanism；　not　only　of　the
Spanish　tongue；　but　also　of　human　thought　and　of　all　language。　His
mother　tongue　seems　to　be　French。　When　I　expressed　surprise　at　this；
he　replied　that　he　came　to　France　when　quite　a　boy；　following　the　King
of　Spain　to　Valencay。

What　has　passed　within　this　enigmatic　being？　He　is　no　longer　the　same
man。　He　came；　dressed　quite　simply；　but　just　as　any　gentleman　would
for　a　morning　walk。　He　put　forth　all　his　eloquence；　and　flashed　wit；
like　rays　from　a　beacon；　all　through　the　lesson。　Like　a　man　roused
from　lethargy；　he　revealed　to　me　a　new　world　of　thoughts。　He　told　me
the　story　of　some　poor　devil　of　a　valet　who　gave　up　his　life　for　a
single　glance　from　a　queen　of　Spain。

〃What　could　he　do　but　die？〃　I　exclaimed。

This　delighted　him；　and　he　looked　at　me　in　a　way　which　was　truly
alarming。

In　the　evening　I　went　to　a　ball　at　the　Duchesse　de　Lenoncourt's。　The
Prince　de　Talleyrand　happened　to　be　there；　and　I　got　M。　de　Vandenesse；
a　charming　young　man；　to　ask　him　whether；　among　the　guests　at　his
country…place　in　1809；　he　remembered　any　one　of　the　name　of　Henarez。
Vandenesse　reported　the　Prince's　reply；　word　for　word；　as　follows：

〃Henarez　is　the　Moorish　name　of　the　Soria　family；　who　are；　they　say；
descendants　of　the　Abencerrages；　converted　to　Christianity。　The　old
Duke　and　his　two　sons　were　with　the　King。　The　eldest；　the　present　Duke
de　Soria；　has　just　had　all　his　property；　titles；　and　dignities
confiscated　by　King　Ferdinand；　who　in　this　way　avenges　a　long…standing
feud。　The　Duke　made　a　huge　mistake　in　consenting　to　form　a
constitutional　ministry　with　Valdez。　Happily；　he　escaped　from　Cadiz
before　the　arrival　of　the　Duc　d'Angouleme；　who；　with　the　best　will　in
the　world；　could　not　have　saved　him　from　the　King's　wrath。〃

This　information　gave　me　much　food　for　reflection。　I　cannot　describe
to　you　the　suspense　in　which　I　passed　the　time　till　my　next　lesson；
which　took　place　this　morning。

During　the　first　quarter　of　an　hour　I　examined　him　closely；　debating
inwardly　whether　he　were　duke　or　commoner；　without　being　able　to　come
to　any　conclusion。　He　seemed　to　read　my　fancies　as　they　arose　and　to
take　pleasure　in　thwarting　them。　At　last　I　could　endure　it　no　longer。
Putting　down　my　book　suddenly；　I　broke　off　the　translation　I　was
making　of　it　aloud；　and　said　to　him　in　Spanish：

〃You　are　deceiving　us。　You　are　no　poor　middle…class　Liberal。　You　are
the　Duke　de　Soria！〃

〃Mademoiselle；〃　he　replied；　with　a　gesture　of　sorrow；　〃unhappily；　I　am
not　the　Duc　de　Soria。〃

I　felt　all　the　despair　with　which　he　uttered　the　word　〃unhappily。〃　Ah！
my　dear；　never　should　I　have　conceived　it　possible　to　throw　so　much
meaning　and　passion　into　a　single　word。　His　eyes　had　dropped；　and　he
dared　no　longer　look　at　me。

〃M。　de　Talleyrand；〃　I　said；　〃in　whose　house　you　spent　your　years　of
exile；　declares　that　any　one　bearing　the　name　of　Henarez　must　either
be　the　late　Duc　de　Soria　or　a　lacquey。〃

He　looked　at　me　with　eyes　like　two　black　burning　coals；　at　once
blazing　and　ashamed。　The　man　might　have　been　in　the　torture…chamber。
All　he　said　was：

〃My　father　was　in　truth　the　servant　of　the　King　of　Spain。〃

Griffith　could　make　nothing　of　this　sort　of　lesson。　An　awkward　silence
followed　each　question　and　answer。

〃In　one　word；〃　I　said；　〃are　you　a　nobleman　or　not？〃

〃You　know　that　in　Spain　even　beggars　are　noble。〃

This　reticence　provoked　me。　Since　the　last　lesson　I　had　given　play　to
my　imagination　in　a　little　practical　joke。　I　had　drawn　an　ideal
portrait　of　the　man　whom　I　should　wish　for　my　lover　in　a　letter　which
I　designed　giving　to　him　to　translate。　So　far；　I　had　only　put　Spanish
into　French；　not　French　into　Spanish；　I　pointed　this　out　to　him；　and
begged　Griffith　to　bring　me　the　last　letter　I　had　received　from　a
friend　of　mine。

〃I　shall　find　out；〃　I　thought；　from　the　effect　my　sketch　has　on　him；
〃what　sort　of　blood　runs　in　his　veins。〃

I　took　the　paper　from　Griffith's　hands；　saying：

〃Let　me　see　if　I　have　copied　it　rightly。〃

For　it　was　all　in　my　writing。　I　handed　him　the　paper；　or；　if　you　will；
the　snare；　and　I　watched　him　while　he　read　as　follows：

〃He　who　is　to　win　my　heart；　my　dear；　must　be　harsh　and　unbending　with
men；　but　gentle　with　women。　His　eagle　eye　must　have　power　to　quell
with　a　single　glance　the　least　approach　to　ridicule。　He　will　have　a
pitying　smile　for　those　who　would　jeer　at　sacred　things；　above　all；　at
that　poetry　of　the　heart；　without　which　life　would　be　but　a　dreary
commonplace。　I　have　the　greatest　scorn　for　those　who　would　rob　us　of
the　living　fountain　of　religious　beliefs；　so　rich　in　solace。　His
faith；　therefore；　should　have　the　simplicity　of　a　child；　though　united
to　the　firm　conviction　of　an　intelligent　man；　who　has　examined　the
foundations　of　his　creed。　His　fresh　and　original　way　of　looking　at
things　must　be　entirely　free　from　affectation　or　desire　to　show　off。
His　words　will　be　few　and　fit；　and　his　mind　so　richly　stored；　that　he
cannot　possibly　become　a　bore　to　himself　any　more　than　to　others。

〃All　his　thoughts　must　have　a　high　and　chivalrous　character；　without
alloy　of　self…seeking；　while　his　actions　should　be　marked　by　a　total
absence　of　interested　or　sordid　motives。　Any　weak　points　he　may　have
will　arise　from　the　very　elevation　of　his　views　above　those　of　the
common　herd；　for　in　every　respect　I　would　have　him　superior　to　his
age。　Ever　mindful　of　the　delicate　attentions　due　to　the　weak；　he　will
be　gentle　to　all　women；　but　not　prone　lightly　to　fall　in　love　with
any；　for　love　will　seem　to　him　too　serious　to　turn　into　a　game。

〃Thus　it　might　happen　that　he　would　spend　his　life　in　ignorance　of
true　love；　while　all　the　time　possessing　those　qualities　most　fitted
to　inspire　it。　But　if　ever　he　find　the　ideal　woman　who　has　haunted　his
waking　dreams；　if　he　meet　with　a　nature　capable　of　understanding　his
own；　one　who　could　fill　his　soul　and　pour　sunlight　over　his　life；
could　shine　as　a　star　through　the　mists　of　this　chill　and　gloomy
world；　lend　fresh　charm　to　existence；　and　draw　music　from　the　hitherto
silent　chords　of　his　beingneedless　to　say；　he　would　recognize　and
welcome　his　good　fortune。

〃And　she；　too；　would　be　happy。　Never；　by　word　or　look；　would　he　wound
the　tender　heart　which　abandoned　itself　to　him；　with　the　blind　trust
of　a　child　reposing　in　its　mother's　arms。　For　were　the　vision
shattered；　it　would　be　the　wreck　of　her　inner　life。　To　the　mighty
waters　of　love　she　would　confide　her　all！

〃The　man　I　picture　must　belong；　in　expression；　in　attitude；　in　gait；
in　his　way　of　performing　alike　the　smallest　and　the　greatest　actions；
to　that　race　of　the　truly　great　who　are　always　simple　and　natural。　He
need　not　be　good…looking；　but　his　hands　must　be　beautiful。　His　upper
lip　will　curl　with　a　careless；　ironic　smile　for　the　general　public；
whilst　he　reserves　for　those　he　loves　the　heavenly；　radiant　glance　in
which　he　puts　his　soul。〃

〃Will　mademoiselle　allow　me；〃　he　said　in　Spanish；　in　a　voice　full　of
agitation；　〃to　keep　this　writing　in　memory　of　her？　This　is　the　last
lesson　I　shall　have　the　honor　of　giving　her；　and　that　which　I　have
just　received　in　these　words　may　serve　me　for　an　abiding　rule　of　life。
I　left　Spain；　a　fugitive　and　penniless；　but　I　have　to…day　received
from　my　family　a　sum　sufficient　for　my　needs。　You　will　allow　me　to
send　some　poor　Spaniard　in　my　place。〃

In　other　words；　he　seemed　to　me　to　say；　〃This　little　game　must　stop。〃
He　rose　with　an　air　of　marvelous　dignity；　and　left　me　quite　upset　by
such　unheard…of　delicacy　in　a　man　of　his　class。　He　went　downstairs　and
asked　to　speak　with　my　father。

At　dinner　my　father　said　to　me　with　a　smile：

〃Louise；　you　have　been　learning　Spanish　from　an　ex…minister　and　a　man
condemned　to　death。〃

〃The　Duc　de　Soria；〃　I　said。

〃Duke！〃　replied　my　father。　〃No；　he　is　not　that　any　longer；　he　takes
the　title　now　of　Baron　de　Macumer　from　a　property　which　still　remains
to　him　in　Sardinia。　He　is　something　of　an　original；　I　think。〃

〃Don't　brand　with　that　word；　which　with　you　always　implies　some
mockery　and　scorn；　a　man　who　is　your　equal；　and　who；　I　believe；　has　a
noble　nature。〃

〃Baronne　de　Macumer？〃　exclaimed　my　father；　with　a　laughing　glance　at
me。

Pride　kept　my　eyes　fixed　on　the　table。

〃But；〃　said　my　mother；　〃Henarez　must　have　met　the　Spanish　ambassador
on　the　steps？〃

〃Yes；〃　replied　my　father；　〃the　ambassador　asked　me　if　I　was　conspiring
against　the　King；　his　master；　but　he　greeted　the　ex…grandee　of　Spain
with　much　deference；　and　placed　his　services　at　his　disposal。〃

All　this；　dear；　Mme。　de　l'Estorade；　happened　a　fortnight　ago；　and　it
is　a　fortnight　now　since　I　have　seen　the　man　who　loves　me；　for　that　he
loves　me　there　is　not　a　doubt。　What　is　he　about？　If　only　I　were　a　fly；
or　a　mouse；　or　a　sparrow！　I　want　to　see　him　alone；　myself　unseen；　at
his　house。　Only　think；　a　man　exists；　to　whom　I　can　say；　〃Go　and　die
for　me！〃　And　he　is　so　made　that　he　would　go；　at　least　I　think　so。
Anyhow；　there　is　in　Paris　a　man　who　occupies　my　thoughts；　and　whose
glance　pours　sunshine　into　my　soul。　Is　not　such　a　man　an　enemy；　whom　I
ought　to　trample　under　foot？　What？　There　is　a　man　who　has　become
necessary　to　mea　man　without　whom　I　don't　know　how　to　live！　You
married；　and　Iin　love！　Four　little　months；　and　those　two　doves；
whose　wings　erst　bore　them　so　high；　have　fluttered　down　upon　the　flat