the dwelling place of ligh-第66章

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would　He　help　her？

The　bell　in　the　tower　began　to　clang；　with　heavy；　relentless　strokes
like　physical　blows　from　which　she　flinchedeach　stirring　her　reluctant；
drowsy　soul　to　a　quicker　agony。　　From　the　outer　blackness　through　which
she　fled　she　gazed　into　bright　rooms　of　homes　whose　blinds　were　left
undrawn；　as　though　to　taunt　and　mock　the　wanderer。　　She　was　an　outcast！
Who　henceforth　would　receive　her　save　those；　unconformed　and
unconformable；　sentenced　to　sin　in　this　realm　of　blackness？　　Henceforth
from　all　warmth　and　love　she　was　banished。。。。　　In　the　middle　of　the
Stanley　Street　bridge　she　stopped　to　lean　against　the　wet　rail；　the　mill
lights　were　scattered；　dancing　points　of　fire　over　the　invisible　swift
waters；　and　she　raised　her　eyes　presently　to　the　lights　themselves；
seeking　one　unconsciouslyDitmar's！　　Yes；　it　was　his　she　sought；　though
it　was　so　distant；　sometimes　it　seemed　to　burn　like　a　red　star；　and　then
to　flicker　and　disappear。　　She　could　not　be　sure。。。。　　Something　chill　and
steely　was　in　the　pocket　of　her　coatit　made　a　heavy　splash　in　the　water
when　she　dropped　it。　　The　river　could　not　be　so　very　cold！　　She　wished
she　could　go　down　like　that　into　forgetfulness。　　But　she　couldn't。。。。
Where　was　Lise　now？。。。　　It　would　be　so　easy　just　to　drop　over　that
parapet　and　be　whirled　away；　and　down　and　down。　　Why　couldn't　she？　　Well；
it　was　becausebecauseshe　was　going　to　have　a　child。　　Well；　if　she　had
a　child　to　take　care　of；　she　would　not　be　so　lonelyshe　would　have
something　to　love。　　She　loved　it　now；　as　though　she　felt　it　quickening
within　her；　she　wanted　it；　to　lavish　on　it　all　of　a　starved　affection。
She　seemed　actually　to　feel　in　her　arms　its　soft　little　body　pressed
against　her。　　Claude　Ditmar's　child！　　And　she　suddenly　recalled；　as　an
incident　of　the　remote　past；　that　she　had　told　him　she　wanted　it！

This　tense　craving　for　it　she　felt　now　was　somehow　the　answer　to　an
expressed　wish　which　had　astonished　her。　　Perhaps　that　was　the　reason　why
she　had　failed　to　do　what　she　had　tried　to　do；　to　shoot　Ditmar　and
herself！　　It　was　Ditmar's　child；　Ditmar's　and　hers！　　He　had　loved　her；
long　ago；　and　just　nowwas　it　just　now？he　had　said　he　loved　her　still；
he　had　wanted　to　marry　her。　　Then　why　had　she　run　away　from　him？　　Why　had
she　taken　the　child　into　outer　darkness；　to　be　born　without　a　father；
when　she　loved　Ditmar？　　Wasn't　that　one　reason　why　she　wanted　the　child？
why；　even　in　her　moments　of　passionate　hatred　she　recalled　having　been
surprised　by　some　such　yearning　as　now　came　over　her？　　And　for　an
interval；　a　brief　interval；　she　viewed　him　with　startling　clarity。　　Not
because　he　embodied　any　ideal　did　she　love　him；　but　because　he　was　what
he　was；　because　he　had　overcome　her　will；　dominated　and　possessed　her；
left　his　mark　upon　her　indelibly。　　He　had　been　cruel　to　her；　willing　to
sacrifice　her　to　his　way　of　life；　to　his　own　desires；　but　he　loved　her；
for　she　had　seen；　if　not　heeded　in　his　eyes　the　look　that　a　woman　never
mistakes！　　She　remembered　it　now；　and　the　light　in　his　window　glowed
again；　like　a　star　to　guide　her　back　to　him。　　It　was　drawing　her；
irresistibly。。。。

The　sentry　recognized　her　as　she　came　along　the　canal。

〃Mr。　Ditmar's　gone；〃　he　told　her。

〃Gone！〃　she　repeated。　　〃Gone！〃

〃Why；　yes；　about　five　minutes　after　you　left　he　was　looking　for　youhe
asked　the　sergeant　about　you。〃

〃Andhe　won't　be　back？〃

〃I　guess　not；〃　answered　the　man；　sympathetically。　　〃He　said　good…night。〃

She　turned　away　dully。　　The　strength　and　hope　with　which　she　had　been　so
unexpectedly　infused　while　gazing　from　the　bridge　at　his　window　had
suddenly　ebbed；　her　legs　ached；　her　feet　were　wet；　and　she　shivered；
though　her　forehead　burned。　　The　world　became　distorted；　people　flitted
past　her　like　weird　figures　of　a　dream；　the　myriad　lights　of　Faber　Street
were　blurred　and　whirled　in　company　with　the　electric　signs。　　Seeking　to
escape　from　their　confusion　she　entered　a　side　street　leading　north；　only
to　be　forcibly　seized　by　some　one　who　darted　after　her　from　the　sidewalk。

〃Excuse　me；　but　you　didn't　see　that　automobile；〃　he　said；　as　he　released
her。

Shaken；　she　went　on　through　several　streets　to　find　herself　at　length
confronted　by　a　pair　of　shabby　doors　that　looked　familiar；　and　pushing
one　of　them　open；　baited　at　the　bottom　of　a　stairway　to　listen。　　The
sound　of　cheerful　voices　camp　to　her　from　above；　she　started　to　climb
even　with　the　help　of　the　rail　it　seemed　as　if　she　would　never　reach　the
top　of　that　stairway。　　But　at　last　she　stood　in　a　loft　where　long　tables
were　set；　and　at　the　end　of　one　of　these；　sorting　out　spoons　and　dishes；
three　women　and　a　man　were　chatting　and　laughing　together。　　Janet　was
troubled　because　she　could　not　remember　who　the　man　was；　although　she
recognized　his　bold　profile；　his　voice　and　gestures。。。。　　At　length　one　of
the　women　said　something　in　a　low　tone；　and　he　looked　around　quickly　and
crossed　the　room。

〃Why；　it's　you！〃　he　said；　and　suddenly　she　recalled　his　name。

〃Mr。　Insall！〃

But　his　swift　glance　had　noticed　the　expression　in　her　eyes；　the　sagged
condition　of　her　clothes；　the　attitude　that　proclaimed　exhaustion。　　He
took　her　by　the　arm　and　led　her　to　the　little　storeroom；　turning　on　the
light　and　placing　her　in　a　chair。　　Darkness　descended　on　her。。。。

Mrs。　Maturin；　returning　from　an　errand；　paused　for　an　instant　in　the
doorway；　and　ran　forward　and　bent　over　Janet。

〃Oh；　Brooks；　what　is　itwhat's　happened　to　her？〃

〃I　don't　know；〃　he　replied；　〃I　didn't　have　a　chance　to　ask　her。　　I'm
going　for　a　doctor。〃

〃Leave　her　to　me；　and　call　Miss　Hay。〃　　Mrs。　Maturin　was　instantly
competen　。。。。　　And　when　Insall　came　back　from　the　drug　store　where　he　had
telephoned　she　met　him　at　the　head　of　the　stairs。　　〃We've　done　everything
we　can；　Edith　Hay　has　given　her　brandy；　and　gone　off　for　dry　clothes；　and
we've　taken　all　the　children's　things　out　of　the　drawers　and　laid　her　on
the　floor；　but　she　hasn't　come　to。　　Poor　child；what　can　have　happened
to　her？　　Is　the　doctor　coming？〃

〃Right　away；〃　said　Insall；　and　Mrs。　Maturin　went　back　into　the　storeroom。
Miss　Hay　brought　the　dry　clothes　before　the　physician　arrived。

〃It's　probably　pneumonia；〃　he　explained　to　Insall　a　little　later。　　〃She
must　go　to　the　hospitalbut　the　trouble　is　all　our　hospitals　are　pretty
full；　owing　to　the　sickness　caused　by　the　strike。〃　　He　hesitated。　　〃Of
course；　if　she　has　friends；　she　could　have　better　care　in　a　private
institution　just　now。〃

〃Oh；　she　has　friends；〃　said　Mrs。　Maturin。　　〃Couldn't　we　take　her　to　our
little　hospital　at　Silliston；　doctor？　　It's　only　four　milesthat　isn't
much　in　an　automobile；　and　the　roads　are　good　now。〃

〃Well；　the　risk　isn't　much　greater；　if　you　have　a　closed　car；　and　she
would；　of　course；　be　better　looked　after；〃　the　physician　consented。

〃I'll　see　to　it　at　once；〃　said　Insall。。。。




CHAPTER　XX

The　Martha　Wootton　Memorial　Hospital　was　the　hobby　of　an　angel　alumnus　of
Silliston。　　It　was　situated　in　Hovey's　Lane；　but　from　the　window　of　the
white…enameled　room　in　which　she　lay　Janet　could　see　the　bare　branches　of
the　Common　elms　quivering　to　the　spring　gusts；　could　watch；　day　by　day；
the　grass　changing　from　yellow…brown　to　vivid　green　in　the　white
sunlight。　　In　the　morning；　when　the　nurse　opened　the　blinds；　that
sunlight　swept　radiantly　into　the　room；　lavish　with　its　caresses；　always
spending；　always　giving；　the　symbol　of　a　loving　care　that　had　been　poured
out　on　her；　unasked　and　unsought。　　It　was　sweet　to　rest；　to　sleep。　　And
instead　of　the　stringent　monster…cry　of　the　siren；　of　the　discordant
clamour　of　the　mill　bells；　it　was　sweet　yet　strange　to　be　awakened　by
silvertoned　chimes　proclaiming　peaceful　hours。　　At　first　she　surrendered
to　the　spell；　and　had　no　thought　of　the　future。　　For　a　little　while　every
day；　Mrs。　Maturin　read　aloud；　usually　from　books　of　poetry。　　And　knowing
many　of　the　verses　by　heart；　she　would　watch　Janet's　face；　framed　in　the
soft　dark　hair　that　fell　in　two　long　plaits　over　her　shoulders。　　For
Janet　little　guessed　the　thought　that　went　into　the　choosing　of　these
books；　nor　could　she　know　of　the　hours　spent　by　this　lady　pondering　over
library　shelves　or　consulting　eagerly　with　Brooks　Insall。　　Sometimes
Augusta　Maturin　thought　of　Janet　as　a　wildflowerone　of　the　rare；　shy
ones；　hiding　under　its　leaves；　sprung　up　in　Hampton；　of　all　places；
crushed　by　a　heedless　foot；　yet　miraculously　not　destroyed；　and　already
pushing　forth　new　and　eager　tendrils。　　And　she　had　transplanted　it。　　To
find　the　proper　nourishment；　to　give　it　a　chance　to　grow　in　a　native；
congenial　soil；　such　was　her　breathless　task。　　And　so　she　had　selected
〃The　Child's　Garden　of　Verses。〃

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃I　should　like　to　rise　and　go
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Where　the　golden　apples　grow〃。。。

When　she　laid　down　her　book　it　was　to　talk；　perhaps；　of　Silliston。
Established　here　before　the　birth　of　the　Republic；　its　roots　were　bedded
in　the　soil　of　a　racial　empire；　to　a　larger　vision　of　which　Augusta
Maturin　clung：　an　empire　of　Anglo…Saxon　tradition　which；　despite
disagreements　and　conflictsnay；　through　themdeveloped　imperceptibly
toward　a　sublimer　union；　founded　not　on　dominion；　but　on　justice　and
right。　　She　spoke　of　the　England　she　had　visited　on　her　wedding　journey；
of　the　landmarks　and　literature　that　also　through　generations　have　been
American　birthrights；　and　of　that　righteous　self…assertion　and
independence　which；　by　protest　and　even　by　war；　America　had　contributed
to　the　democracy　of　the　future。　　Silliston；　indifferent　to　cults　and
cataclysms；　undisturbed　by　the　dark　tides　flung　westward　to　gather　in
deposits　in　other　parts　of　the　land；　had　held　fast　to　the　old　tradition；
stood　ready　to　do　her　share　to　transform　it　into　something　even　nobler
when　the　time　should　come。　　Simplicity　and　worth　and　beautythese
elements　at　least　of　the　older　Republic　should　not　perish；　but　in　the　end
prevail。

She　spoke　simply　of　these　things；　connecting　them　with　a　Silliston　whose
spirit　appealed　to　all　that　was　inherent　and　abiding　in　the　girl。　　All
was　not　chaos：　here　at　least；　a　beacon　burned　with　a　bright　and　steady
flame。　　And　she　spoke　of　Andrew　Silliston；　the　sturdy　colonial　prototype
of　the　American　culture；　who　had　fought　against　his　King；　who　had　spent
his　modest　fortune　to　found　this　seat　of　learning；　believing　as　he　did
that　education　is　the　cornerstone　of　republics；　divining　that　lasting
unity　is　possible　alone　by　the　transformation　of　the　individual　into　the
citizen　through　voluntary　bestowal　of　service　and　the　fruits　of　labour。
Samuel　Wootton；　the　Boston　merchant　who　had　given　the　hospital；　was
Andrew's　true　descendant；　imbued　with　the　same　half…conscious　intuition
that　builds　even　better　that　it　reeks。　　And　Andrew；　could　he　have　returns
to　earth　in　his　laced　coat　and　long　silk　waistcoat；　would　still　recognize
his　own　soul　in　Silliston　Academy；　the　soul　of　his　creed　and　race。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃Away　down　the　river；
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　A　hundred　miles　or　more；
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Other　little　children
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Shall　bring　my　boats　ashore。〃。。。

Janet　drew　in　a　great　breath；　involuntarily。　　These　were　moments　when　it
seemed　that　she　could　scarcely　contain　what　she　felt　of　beauty　and