the dwelling place of ligh-第64章

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supper。　　But　not　a　dish　was　set。　　The　ticking　of　the　ancient　clock　only
served　to　intensify　the　silence。　　Janet　entered；　almost　on　tiptoe；　made
her　way　to　the　kitchen　door；　and　looked　in。　　The　stove　was　polished；　the
pans　bright　upon　the　wall；　and　Hannah　was　seated　in　a　corner；　her　hands
folded　across　a　spotless　apron。　　Her　scant　hair　was　now　pure　white；　her
dress　seemed　to　have　fallen　away　from　her　wasted　neck；　which　was　like　a
trefoil　column。

〃Is　that　you；　Janet？　　You　hain't　seen　anything　of　your　father？〃

The　night　before　Janet　had　heard　this　question；　and　she　had　been　puzzled
as　to　its　meaningwhether　in　the　course　of　the　day　she　had　seen　her
father；　or　whether　Hannah　thought　he　was　coming　home。

〃He's　at　the　mill；　mother。　　You　know　he　has　to　stay　there。〃

〃I　know；〃　replied　Hannah；　in　a　tone　faintly　reminiscent　of　the　old
aspersion。　　〃But　I've　got　everything　ready　for　him　in　case　he　should
comeany　timeif　the　strikers　hain't　killed　him。〃

〃But　he's　safe　where　he　is。〃

〃I　presume　they　will　try　to　kill　him；　before　they　get　through；〃　Hannah
continued　evenly。　　〃But　in　case　he　should　come　at　any　time；　and　I'm　not
here；　you　tell　him　all　those　Bumpus　papers　are　put　away　in　the　drawer　of
that　old　chest；　in　the　corner。　　I　can't　think　what　he'd　do　without　those
papers。　　That　is；〃　she　added；　〃if　you're　here　yourself。〃

〃Why　shouldn't　you　be　here？〃　asked　Janet；　rather　sharply。

〃I　dunno；　I　seem　to　have　got　through。〃　　She　glanced　helplessly　around　the
kitchen。　　〃There　don't　seem　to　be　much　left　to　keep　me　alive。。。。　　I　guess
you'll　be　wanting　your　supper；　won't　you？　　You　hain't　often　home　these
dayswhatever　it　is　you're　doing。　　I　didn't　expect　you。〃

Janet　did　not　answer　at　once。

〃II　have　to　go　out　again；　mother；〃　she　said。

Hannah　accepted　the　answer　as　she　had　accepted　every　other　negative　in
life；　great　and　small。

〃Well；　I　guessed　you　would。〃

Janet　made　a　step　toward　her。

〃Mother！〃　she　said；　but　Hannah　gazed　at　her　uncomprehendingly。　　Janet
stooped　convulsively；　and　kissed　her。　　Straightening　up；　she　stood
looking　down　at　her　mother　for　a　few　moments；　and　went　out　of　the　room；
pausing　in　the　dining…room；　to　listen；　but　Hannah　apparently　had　not
stirred。　　She　took　the　box　of　matches　from　its　accustomed　place　on　the
shelf　beside　the　clock；　entered　the　dark　bedroom　in　the　front　of　the
flat；　closing　the　door　softly　behind　her。　　The　ghostly　blue　light　from　a
distant　arc　came　slanting　in　at　the　window；　glinting　on　the　brass　knobs
of　the　chest　of　drawers…another　Bumpus　heirloom。　　She　remembered　that
chest　from　early　childhood；　it　was　one　of　the　few　pieces　that；　following
them　in　all　their　changes　of　residence；　had　been　faithful　to　the　end：　she
knew　everything　in　it；　and　the　place　for　everything。　　Drawing　a　match
from　the　box；　she　was　about　to　turn　on　the　gasbut　the　light　from　the
arc　would　suffice。　　As　she　made　her　way　around　the　walnut　bed　she　had　a
premonition　of　poignant　anguish　as　yet　unrealized；　of　anguish　being　held
at　bay　by　a　stronger；　fiercer；　more　imperative　emotion　now　demanding
expression；　refusing　at　last　to　be　denied。　　She　opened　the　top　drawer　of
the　chest；　the　drawer　in　which　Hannah；　breaking　tradition；　had　put　the
Bumpus　genealogy。　　Edward　had　never　kept　it　there。　　Would　the　other
things　be　in　place？　　Groping　with　her　hands　in　the　left…hand　corner；　her
fingers　clasped　exultantly　something　heavy；　something　wrapped　carefully
in　layers　of　flannel。　　She　had　feared　her　father　might　have　taken　it　to
the　mill！　　She　drew　it　out；　unwound　the　flannel；　and　held　to　the　light　an
old…fashioned　revolver；　the　grease　glistening　along　its　barrel。　　She
remembered；　too；　that　the　cartridges　had　lain　beside　it；　and　thrusting
her　hand　once　more　into　the　drawer　found　the　box；　extracting　several；　and
replacing　the　rest；　closed　the　drawer；　and　crept　through　the　dining…room
to　her　bedroom；　where　she　lit　the　gas　in　order　to　examine　the　weapon
finally　contriving；　more　by　accident　than　skill；　to　break　it。　　The
cartridges；　of　course；　fitted　into　the　empty　cylinder。　　But　before
inserting　them　she　closed　the　pistol　once　more；　cocked　it；　and　held　it
out。　　Her　arm　trembled　violently　as　she　pulled　the　trigger。　　Could　she　do
it？　　As　though　to　refute　this　doubt　of　her　ability　to　carry　out　an　act
determined　upon；　she　broke　the　weapon　once　more；　loaded　and　closed　it；
and　thrust　it　in　the　pocket　of　her　coat。　　Then；　washing　the　grease　from
her　hands；　she　put　on　her　gloves；　and　was　about　to　turn　out　the　light
when　she　saw　reflected　in　the　glass　the　red　button　of　the　I。W。W。　still
pinned　on　her　coat。　　This　she　tore　off；　and　flung　on　the　bureau。

When　she　had　kissed　her　mother；　when　she　had　stood　hesitatingly　in　the
darkness　of　the　familiar　front　bedroom　in　the　presence　of　unsummoned
memories　of　a　home　she　had　believed　herself　to　resent　and　despise；　she
had　nearly　faltered。　　But　once　in　the　street；　this　weakness　suddenly
vanished；　was　replaced　by　a　sense　of　wrong　that　now　took　complete　and
furious　possession　of　her；　driving　her　like　a　gale　at　her　back。　　She
scarcely　felt　on　her　face　the　fine　rain　that　had　begun　to　fall　once　more。
Her　feet　were　accustomed　to　the　way。　　When　she　had　turned　down　West
Street　and　almost　gained　the　canal；　it　was　with　a　shock　of　surprise　that
she　found　herself　confronted　by　a　man　in　a　long　cape　who　held　a　rifle　and
barred　her　path。　　She　stared　at　him　as　at　an　apparition。

〃You　can't　get　by　here；〃　he　said。　　〃Don't　you　know　that？〃

She　did　not　reply。　　He　continued　to　look　at　her；　and　presently　asked；　in
a　gentler　tone：

〃Where　did　you　wish　to　go；　lady？〃

〃Into　the　mill；〃　she　replied；　〃to　the　offices。〃

〃But　there　can't　anybody　go　through　here　unless　they　have　a　pass。　　I'm
sorry；　but　that's　the　order。〃

Her　answer　came　so　readily　as　to　surprise　her。

〃I　was　Mr。　Ditmar's　private　stenographer。　　I　have　to　see　him。〃

The　sentry　hesitated；　and　then　addressed　another　soldier；　who　was　near
the　bridge。

〃Hi；　sergeant！〃　he　called。　　The　sergeant　came　upa　conscientious　Boston
clerk　who　had　joined　the　militia　from　a　sense　of　duty　and　a　need　for
exercise。　　While　the　sentry　explained　the　matter　he　gazed　at　Janet。　　Then
be　said　politely：

〃I'm　sorry；　Miss；　but　I　can't　disobey　orders。〃

〃But　can't　you　send　word　to　Mr。　Ditmar；　and　tell　him　I　want　to　see　him？〃
she　asked。

〃Why；　I　guess　so；〃　he　answered；　after　a　moment。　　〃What　name　shall　I　say？〃

〃Miss　Bumpus。〃

〃Bumpus；〃　he　repeated。　　〃That's　the　gatekeeper's　name。〃

〃I'm　his　daughterbut　I　want　to　see　Mr。　Ditmar。〃

〃Well；〃　said　the　sergeant；　〃I'm　sure　it's　all　right；　but　I'll　have　to
send　in　anyway。　　Orders　are　orders。　　You　understand？〃

She　nodded　as　he　departed。　　She　saw　him　cross　the　bridge　like　a　ghost
through　the　white　mist　rising　from　the　canal。　　And　through　the　mist　she
could　make　out　the　fortresslike　mass　of　the　mill　itself；　and　the　blurred；
distorted　lights　in　the　paymaster's　offices　smeared　on　the　white　curtain
of　the　vapour。

〃Nasty　weather；〃　the　sentry　remarked；　in　friendly　fashion。　　He　appeared
now；　despite　his　uniform；　as　a　good…natured；　ungainly　youth。

Janet　nodded。

〃You'd　ought　to　have　brought　an　umbrella；〃　he　said。　　〃I　guess　it'll　rain
harder；　before　it　gets　through。　　But　it's　better　than　ten　below　zero；
anyhow。〃

She　nodded　again；　but　he　did　not　seem　to　resent　her　silence。　　He　talked
about　the　hardship　of　patrolling　in　winter；　until　the　sergeant　came　back。

〃It's　all　right；　Miss　Bumpus；〃　he　said；　and　touched　his　hat　as　he
escorted　her　to　the　bridge。　　She　crossed　the　canal　and　went　through　the
vestibule　without　replying　to　the　greeting　of　the　night…watchman；　or
noticing　his　curious　glance；　she　climbed　the　steel…clad　stairway；　passed
the　paymaster's　offices　and　Mr。　Orcutt's；　and　gained　the　outer　office
where　she　had　worked　as　a　stenographer。　　It　was　dark；　but　sufficient
light　came　through　Ditmar's　open　door　to　guide　her　beside　the　rail。　　He
had　heard　her　step；　and　as　she　entered　his　room　he　had　put　his　hands
heavily　on　his　desk；　in　the　act　of　rising　from　his　chair。

〃Janet！〃　he　said；　and　started　toward　her；　but　got　no　farther　than　the
corner　of　the　desk。　　The　sight　of　her　heaving　breast；　of　the　peculiar
light　that　flashed　from　beneath　her　lashes　stopped　him　suddenly。　　Her
hands　were　in　her　pockets。　　〃What　is　it？〃　he　demanded　stupidly。

But　she　continued　to　stand　there；　breathing　so　heavily　that　she　could　not
speak。　　It　was　then　that　he　became　aware　of　an　acute　danger。　　He　did　not
flinch。

〃What　is　it？〃　he　repeated。

Still　she　was　silent。　　One　hand　was　thrust　deeper　into　its　pocket；　he　saw
a　shudder　run　through　her；　and　suddenly　she　burst　into　hysterical
weeping；　sinking　into　a　chair。　　He　stood　for　some　moments　helplessly
regarding　her　before　he　gained　the　presence　of　mind　to　go　to　the　door　and
lock　it；　returning　to　bend　over　her。

〃Don't　touch　me！〃　she　said；　shrinking　from　him。

〃For　God's　sake　tell　me　what's　the　matter；〃　he　begged。

She　looked　up　at　him　and　tried　to　speak；　struggling　against　the　sobs　that
shook　her。

〃II　came　here　toto　kill　youonly　I　can't　do　it。〃

〃To　kill　me！〃　he　said；　after　a　pause。　　In　spite　of　the　fact　that　he　had
half　divined　her　intention；　the　words　shocked　him。　　Whatever　else　may　be
said　of　him；　he　did　not　lack　courage；　his　alarm　was　not　of　a　physical
nature。　　Mingled　with　it　were　emotions　he　himself　did　not　understand；
caused　by　the　unwonted　sight　of　her　loss　of　self…control；　of　her　anger；
and　despair。　　〃Why　did　you　want　to　kill　me？〃

And　again　he　had　to　wait　for　an　answer。

〃Because　you've　spoiled　my　lifebecause　I'm　going　to　have　a　child！〃

〃What　do　you　mean？　　Are　you？。。。　　it　can't　be　possible。〃

〃It　is　possible；　it's　trueit's　true。　　I've　waited　and　waited；　I've
suffered；　I've　almost　gone　crazyand　now　I　know。　　And　I　said　I'd　kill
you　if　it　were　so；　I'd　kill　myselfonly　I　can't。　　I'm　a　coward。〃　　Her
voice　was　drowned　again　by　weeping。

A　child！　　He　had　never　imagined　such　a　contingency！　　And　as　he　leaned
back　against　the　desk；　his　emotions　became　chaotic。　　The　sight　of　her；
even　as　she　appeared　crazed　by　anger；　had　set　his　passion　aflamefor　the
intensity　and　fierceness　of　her　nature　had　always　made　a　strong　appeal　to
dominant　qualities　in　Ditmar's　nature。　　And　thenthis　announcement！
Momentarily　it　turned　his　heart　to　water。　　Now　that　he　was　confronted　by
an　exigency　that　had　once　vicariously　yet　deeply　disturbed　him　in　a
similar　affair　of　a　friend　of　his；　the　code　and　habit　of　a　lifetime
gained　an　immediate　ascendencysince　then　he　had　insisted　that　this
particular　situation　was　to　be　avoided　above　all　others。　　And　his　mind
leaped　to　possibilities。　　She　had　wished　to　kill　himwould　she　remain
desperate　enough　to　ruin　him？　　Even　though　he　were　not　at　a　crisis　in　his
affairs；　a　scandal　of　this　kind　would　be　fatal。

〃I　didn't　know；〃　he　said　desperately；　〃I　couldn't　guess。　　Do　you　think　I
would　have　had　this　thing　happen　to　you？　　I　was　carried　awaywe　were
both　carried　away　〃

〃You　planned　it！〃　she　replied　vehemently；　without　looking　up。　　〃You
didn't　care　for　me；　you　onlywanted　me。〃

〃That　isn't　soI　swear　that　isn't　so。　　I　loved　you　I　love　you。〃

〃Oh；　do　you　think　I　believe　that？〃　she　exclaimed。

〃I　swear　itI'll　prove　it！〃　he　protested。　　Still　under　the　influence　o