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'Oh yes��' said the man in black�察�'he has done good service to our
See�察�that is�察�in his way�察�when the neophytes of the Propaganda are
to be examined in the several tongues in which they are destined to
preach�察�he is appointed to question them�察�the questions being first
written down for him�察�or else�察�he� �he� �he� � Of course you know
Napoleon's estimate of Mezzofante�察�he sent for the linguist from
motives of curiosity�察�and after some discourse with him�察�told him
that he might depart�察�then turning to some of his generals he
observed�察 �Nous avons eu ici un exemple qu'un homme peut avoir
beaucoup de paroles avec bien pen d'esprit。;'
'You are ungrateful to him��' said I�察�'well�察�perhaps�察�when he is
dead and gone you will do him justice。'
'True��' said the man in black�察�'when he is dead and gone�察�we intend
to erect him a statue of wood�察�on the left´hand side of the door of
the Vatican library。'
'Of wood��' said I。
'He was the son of a carpenter�察�you know��' said the man in black�察�
'the figure will be of wood for no other reason�察�I assure you�察�he� �
he��'
'You should place another statue on the right。'
'Perhaps we shall��' said the man in black�察�'but we know of no one
amongst the philologists of Italy�察�nor�察�indeed�察�of the other
countries inhabited by the faithful�察�worthy to sit parallel in
effigy with our illustrissimo�察�when�察�indeed�察�we have conquered
these regions of the perfidious by bringing the inhabitants thereof
to the true faith�察�I have no doubt that we shall be able to select
one worthy to bear him company ´ one whose statue shall be placed
on the right hand of the library�察�in testimony of our joy at his
conversion�察�for�察�as you know�察 �There is more joy�察─�etc。'
'Wood��' said I。
'I hope not��' said the man in black�察�'no�察�if I be consulted as to
the material for the statue�察�I should strongly recommend bronze。'
And when the man in black had said this�察�he emptied his second
tumbler of its contents�察�and prepared himself another。
CHAPTER XCIV
Prerogative ´ Feeling of gratitude ´ A long history ´ Alliterative
style ´ Advantageous specimen ´ Jesuit benefice ´ Not sufficient ´
Queen Stork's tragedy ´ Good sense ´ Grandeur and gentility ´
Ironmonger's daughter ´ Clan Mac´Sycophant ´ Lickspittles ´ A
curiosity ´ Newspaper editors ´ Charles the Simple ´ High´flying
ditty ´ Dissenters ´ Lower classes ´ Priestley's house ´ Saxon
ancestors ´ Austin ´ Renovating glass ´ Money ´ Quite original。
'SO you hope to bring these regions again beneath the banner of the
Roman See��' said I�察�after the man in black had prepared the
beverage�察�and tasted it。
'Hope��' said the man in black�察�'how can we fail�拭 �Is not the Church
of these regions going to lose its prerogative��'
'Its prerogative��'
'Yes�察�those who should be the guardians of the religion of England
are about to grant Papists emancipation�察�and to remove the
disabilities from Dissenters�察�which will allow the Holy Father to
play his own game in England。'
On my inquiring how the Holy Father intended to play his game�察�the
man in black gave me to understand that he intended for the present
to cover the land with temples�察�in which the religion of
Protestants would be continually scoffed at and reviled。
On my observing that such behaviour would savour strongly of
ingratitude�察�the man in black gave me to understand that if I
entertained the idea that the See of Rome was ever influenced in
its actions by any feeling of gratitude I was much mistaken�察�
assuring me that if the See of Rome in any encounter should chance
to be disarmed�察�and its adversary�察�from a feeling of magnanimity�察�
should restore the sword which had been knocked out of its hand�察�
the See of Rome always endeavoured on the first opportunity to
plunge the said sword into its adversary's bosom�察�conduct which the
man in black seemed to think was very wise�察�and which he assured me
had already enabled it to get rid of a great many troublesome
adversaries�察�and would�察�he had no doubt�察�enable it to get rid of a
great many more。
On my attempting to argue against the propriety of such behaviour�察�
the man in black cut the matter short by saying that if one party
was a fool he saw no reason why the other should imitate it in its
folly。
After musing a little while�察�I told him that emancipation had not
yet passed through the legislature�察�and that perhaps it never
would�察�reminding him that there was often many a slip between the
cup and the lip�察�to which observation the man in black agreed�察�
assuring me�察�however�察�that there was no doubt that emancipation
would be carried�察�inasmuch as there was a very loud cry at present
in the land ´ a cry of 'tolerance��' which had almost frightened the
Government out of its wits�察�who�察�to get rid of the cry�察�was going
to grant all that was asked in the way of toleration�察�instead of
telling the people to 'hold their nonsense��' and cutting them down
provided they continued bawling longer。
I questioned the man in black with respect to the origin of this
cry�察�but he said�察�to trace it to its origin would require a long
history�察�that�察�at any rate�察�such a cry was in existence�察�the chief
raisers of it being certain of the nobility�察�called Whigs�察�who
hoped by means of it to get into power�察�and to turn out certain
ancient adversaries of theirs called Tories�察�who were for letting
things remain IN STATU QUO�察�that these Whigs were backed by a party
amongst the people called Radicals�察�a specimen of whom I had seen
in the public´house�察�a set of fellows who were always in the habit
of bawling against those in place�察�'and so��' he added�察�'by means of
these parties�察�and the hubbub which the Papists and other smaller
sects are making�察�a general emancipation will be carried�察�and the
Church of England humbled�察�which is the principal thing which the
See of Rome cares for。'
On my telling the man in black that I believed that�察�even among the
high dignitaries of the English Church�察�there were many who wished
to grant perfect freedom to religions of all descriptions�察�he said
he was aware that such was the fact�察�and that such a wish was
anything but wise�察�inasmuch as�察�if they had any regard for the
religion they professed�察�they ought to stand by it through thick
and thin�察�proclaiming it to be the only true one�察�and denouncing
all others�察�in an alliterative style�察�as dangerous and damnable�察�
whereas�察�by their present conduct�察�they were bringing their
religion into contempt with the people at large�察�who would never
continue long attached to a Church the ministers of which did not
stand up for it�察�and likewise cause their own brethren�察�who had a
clearer notion of things�察�to be ashamed of belonging to it。 'I
speak advisedly��' said he�察�in continuation�察�'there is one
Platitude。'
'And I hope there is only one��' said I�察�'you surely would not
adduce the likes and dislikes of that poor silly fellow as the
criterions of the opinions of any party��'
'You know him��' said the man in black�察�'nay�察�I heard you mention
him in the public´house�察�the fellow is not very wise�察�I admit�察�but
he has sense enough to know that�察�unless a Church can make people
hold their tongues when it thinks fit�察�it is scarcely deserving the
name of a Church�察�no�察�I think that the fellow is not such a very
bad stick�察�and that upon the whole he is�察�or rather was�察�an
advantageous specimen of the High Church English clergy�察�who�察�for
the most part�察�so far from troubling their heads about persecuting
people�察�only think of securing their tithes�察�eating their heavy
dinners�察�puffing out their cheeks with importance on country
justice benches�察�and occasionally exhibiting their conceited wives�察�
hoyden daughters�察�and gawky sons at country balls�察�whereas
Platitude ´ '
'Stop��' said I�察�'you said in the public´house that the Church of
England was a persecuting Church�察�and here in the dingle you have
confessed that one section of it is willing to grant perfect
freedom to the exercise of all religions�察�and the other only thinks
of leading an easy life。'
'Saying a thing in the public´house is a widely different thing
from saying it in the dingle��' said the man in black�察�'had the
Church of England been a persecuting Church�察�it would not stand in
the position in which it stands at present�察�it might�察�with its
opportunities�察�have spread itself over the greater part of the
world。 I was about to observe that�察�instead of practising the
indolent habits of his High Church brethren�察�Platitude would be
working for his money�察�preaching the proper use of fire and faggot�察�
or rather of the halter and the whipping´post�察�encouraging mobs to
attack the houses of Dissenters�察�employing spies to collect the
scandal of neighbourhoods�察�in order that he might use it for
sacerdotal purposes�察�and�察�in fact�察�endeavouring to turn an English
parish into something like a Jesuit benefice in the south of
France。'
'He tried that game��' said I�察�'and the parish said ;Pooh�察�pooh�察─�
and�察�for the most part�察�went over to the Dissenters。'
'Very true��' said the man in black�察�taking a sip at his glass�察�'but
why were the Dissenters allowed to preach�拭�why were they not beaten
on the lips till they spat out blood�察�with a dislodged tooth or
two�拭 �Why�察�but because the authority of the Church of England has�察�
by its own fault�察�become so circumscribed that Mr。 Platitude was
not able to send a host of beadles and sbirri to their chapel to
bring them to reason�察�on which account Mr。 Platitude is very
properly ashamed of his Church�察�and is thinking of uniting himself
with one which possesses more vigour and authority。'
'It may have vigour and authority��' said I�察�'in foreign lands�察�but
in these kingdoms the day for practising its atrocities is gone by。
It is at present almost below contempt�察�and is obliged to sue for
grace IN FORMA PAUPERIS。'
'Very true��' said the man in black�察�'but let it once obtain
emancipation�察�and it will cast its slough�察�put on its fine clothes�察�
and make converts by thousands。 'What a fine Church��' they'll say�察�
'with what authority it speaks� �no doubts�察�no hesitation�察�no
sticking at trifles。 What a contrast to the sleepy English Church� �
They'll go over to it by millions�察�till it preponderates here over
every other�察�when it will of course be voted the dominant one�察�and
then ´ and then ´ ' and here the man in black drank a considerable
quantity of gin and water。
'What then��' said I。
'What then��' said the man in black�察�'why she will be true to
herself。 Let Dissenters�察�whether they be Church of England�察�as
perhaps they may still call themselves�察�Methodist�察�or Presbyterian�察�
presume to grumble�察�and there shall be bruising of lips in pulpits�察�
tying up to whipping´posts�察�cutting of