sketches new and old-第16章

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accomplished　by　this　time　that　I　could　stand　on　one　foot　from　the　moment
I　entered　an　office　till　a　clerk　spoke　to　me；　without　changing　more　than
two；　or　maybe　three；　times。

So　I　stood　there　till　I　had　changed　four　different　times。　　Then　I　said　to
one　of　the　clerks　who　was　reading：

〃Illustrious　Vagrant；　where　is　the　Grand　Turk？〃

〃What　do　you　mean；　sir？　whom　do　you　mean？　　If　you　mean　the　Chief　of　the
Bureau；　he　is　out。〃

〃Will　he　visit　the　harem　to…day？〃

The　young　man　glared　upon　me　awhile；　and　then　went　on　reading　his　paper。
But　I　knew　the　ways　of　those　clerks。　　I　knew　I　was　safe　if　he　got　through
before　another　New　York　mail　arrived。　　He　only　had　two　more　papers　left。
After　a　while　he　finished　them；　and　then　he　yawned　and　asked　me　what　I
wanted。

〃Renowned　and　honored　Imbecile：　on　or　about〃

〃You　are　the　beef…contract　man。　　Give　me　your　papers。〃

He　took　them；　and　for　a　long　time　he　ransacked　his　odds　and　ends。
Finally　he　found　the　Northwest　Passage；　as　I　regarded　ithe　found　the
long　lost　record　of　that　beef　contracthe　found　the　rock　upon　which　so
many　of　my　ancestors　had　split　before　they　ever　got　to　it。　　I　was　deeply
moved。　　And　yet　I　rejoicedfor　I　had　survived。　　I　said　with　emotion；
〃Give　it　me。　　The　government　will　settle　now。〃　　He　waved　me　back；　and
said　there　was　something　yet　to　be　done　first。

〃Where　is　this　John　Wilson　Mackenzie？〃　　said　he。

〃Dead。〃

〃When　did　he　die？〃

〃He　didn't　die　at　allhe　was　killed。〃

〃How？〃

〃Tomahawked。〃

〃Who　tomahawked　him？〃

〃Why；　an　Indian；　of　course。　　You　didn't　suppose　it　was　the　superintendent
of　a　Sunday…school；　did　you？〃

〃No。　　An　Indian；　was　it？〃

〃The　same。〃

〃Name　of　the　Indian？〃

〃His　name？　　I　don't　know　his　name。〃

〃Must　have　his　name。　　Who　saw　the　tomahawking　done？〃

〃I　don't　know。〃

〃You　were　not　present　yourself；　then？〃

〃Which　you　can　see　by　my　hair。　　I　was　absent。

〃Then　how　do　you　know　that　Mackenzie　is　dead？〃

〃Because　he　certainly　died　at　that　time；　and　have　every　reason　to　believe
that　he　has　been　dead　ever　since。　　I　know　he　has；　in　fact。〃

〃We　must　have　proofs。　　Have　you　got　this　Indian？〃

〃Of　course　not。〃

〃Well；　you　must　get　him。　　Have　you　got　the　tomahawk？〃

〃I　never　thought　of　such　a　thing。〃

〃You　must　get　the　tomahawk。　　You　must　produce　the　Indian　and　the
tomahawk。　　If　Mackenzie's　death　can　be　proven　by　these；　you　can　then　go
before　the　commission　appointed　to　audit　claims　with　some　show　of　getting
your　bill　under　such　headway　that　your　children　may　possibly　live　to
receive　the　money　and　enjoy　it。　　But　that　man's　death　must　be　proven。
However；　I　may　as　well　tell　you　that　the　government　will　never　pay　that
transportation　and　those　traveling　expenses　of　the　lamented　Mackenzie。
It　may　possibly　pay　for　the　barrel　of　beef　that　Sherman's　soldiers
captured；　if　you　can　get　a　relief　bill　through　Congress　making　an
appropriation　for　that　purpose；　but　it　will　not　pay　for　the　twenty…nine
barrels　the　Indians　ate。〃

〃Then　there　is　only　a　hundred　dollars　due　me；　and　that　isn't　certain！
After　all　Mackenzie's　travels　in　Europe；　Asia；　and　America　with　that
beef；　after　all　his　trials　and　tribulations　and　transportation；　after　the
slaughter　of　all　those　innocents　that　tried　to　collect　that　bill！　　Young
man；　why　didn't　the　First　Comptroller　of　the　Corn…Beef　Division　tell　me
this？〃

〃He　didn't　know　anything　about　the　genuineness　of　your　claim。〃

〃Why　didn't　the　Second　tell　me？　why　didn't　the；　Third？　why　didn't　all
those　divisions　and　departments　tell　me？〃

〃None　of　them　knew。　　We　do　things　by　routine　here。　　You　have　followed　the
routine　and　found　out　what　you　wanted　to　know。　　It　is　the　best　way。
It　is　the　only　way。　　It　is　very　regular；　and　very　slow；　but　it　is　very
certain。〃

〃Yes；　certain　death。　　It　has　been；　to　the　most　of　our　tribe。　　I　begin　to
feel　that　I；　too；　am　called。

Young　man；　you　love　the　bright　creature　yonder　with　the　gentle　blue　eyes
and　the　steel　pens　behind　her　earsI　see　it　in　your　soft　glances；　you
wish　to　marry　herbut　you　are　poor。　　Here；　hold　out　your　handhere　is
the　beef　contract；　go；　take　her　and　be　happy　Heaven　bless　you；　my
children！〃

This　is　all　I　know　about　the　great　beef　contract　that　has　created　so　much
talk　in　the　community。　　The　clerk　to　whom　I　bequeathed　it　died。　　I　know
nothing　further　about　the　contract；　or　any　one　connected　with　it。　　I　only
know　that　if　a　man　lives　long　enough　he　can　trace　a　thing　through　the
Circumlocution　Office　of　Washington　and　find　out；　after　much　labor　and
trouble　and　delay；　that　which　he　could　have　found　out　on　the　first　day　if
the　business　of　the　Circumlocution　Office　were　as　ingeniously
systematized　as　it　would　be　if　it　were　a　great　private　mercantile
institution。






THE　CASE　OF　GEORGE　FISHER

＇Some　years　ago；　about　1867；　when　this　was　first　published；　few　people
believed　it；　but　considered　it　a　mere　extravaganza。　　In　these　latter　days
it　seems　hard　to　realize　that　there　was　ever　a　time　when　the　robbing　of
our　government　was　a　novelty。　　The　very　man　who　showed　me　where　to　find
the　documents　for　this　case　was　at　that　very　time　spending　hundreds　of
thousands　of　dollars　in　Washington　for　a　mail　steamship　concern；　in　the
effort　to　procure　a　subsidy　for　the　company…a　fact　which　was　a　long　time
in　coming　to　the　surface；　but　leaked　out　at　last　and　underwent
Congressional　investigation。＇

This　is　history。　　It　is　not　a　wild　extravaganza；　like　〃John　Wilson
Mackenzie's　Great　Beef　Contract；〃　but　is　a　plain　statement　of　facts　and
circumstances　with　which　the　Congress　of　the　United　States　has　interested
itself　from　time　to　time　during　the　long　period　of　half　a　century。

I　will　not　call　this　matter　of　George　Fisher's　a　great　deathless　and
unrelenting　swindle　upon　the　government　and　people　of　the　United　States…
for　it　has　never　been　so　decided；　and　I　hold　that　it　is　a　grave　and
solemn　wrong　for　a　writer　to　cast　slurs　or　call　names　when　such　is　the
casebut　will　simply　present　the　evidence　and　let　the　reader　deduce　his
own　verdict。　　Then　we　shall　do　nobody　injustice；　and　our　consciences
shall　be　clear。

On　or　about　the　1st　day　of　September；　1813；　the　Creek　war　being　then　in
progress　in　Florida；　the　crops；　herds；　and　houses　of　Mr。　George　Fisher；
a　citizen；　were　destroyed；　either　by　the　Indians　or　by　the　United　States
troops　in　pursuit　of　them。　　By　the　terms　of　the　law；　if　the　Indians
destroyed　the　property；　there　was　no　relief　for　Fisher；　but　if　the　troops
destroyed　it；　the　Government　of　the　United　States　was　debtor　to　Fisher
for　the　amount　involved。

George　Fisher　must　have　considered　that　the　Indians　destroyed　the
property；　because；　although　he　lived　several　years　afterward；　he　does　not
appear　to　have　ever　made　any　claim　upon　the　government。

In　the　course　of　time　Fisher　died；　and　his　widow　married　again。
And　by　and　by；　nearly　twenty　years　after　that　dimly　remembered　raid　upon
Fisher's　corn…fields；　the　widow　Fisher's　new　husband　petitioned　Congress
for　pay　for　the　property；　and　backed　up　the　petition　with　many
depositions　and　affidavits　which　purported　to　prove　that　the　troops；
and　not　the　Indians；　destroyed　the　property；　that　the　troops；　for　some
inscrutable　reason；　deliberately　burned　down　〃houses〃　（or　cabins）　valued
at　600；　the　same　belonging　to　a　peaceable　private　citizen；　and　also
destroyed　various　other　property　belonging　to　the　same　citizen。　　But
Congress　declined　to　believe　that　the　troops　were　such　idiots　（after
overtaking　and　scattering　a　band　of　Indians　proved　to　have　been　found
destroying　Fisher's　property）　as　to　calmly　continue　the　work　of
destruction　themselves；　and　make　a　complete　job　of　what　the　Indians　had
only　commenced。　　So　Congress　denied　the　petition　of　the　heirs　of　George
Fisher　in　1832；　and　did　not　pay　them　a　cent。

We　hear　no　more　from　them　officially　until　1848；　sixteen　years　after
their　first　attempt　on　the　Treasury；　and　a　full　generation　after　the
death　of　the　man　whose　fields　were　destroyed。　　The　new　generation　of
Fisher　heirs　then　came　forward　and　put　in　a　bill　for　damages。　　The　Second
Auditor　awarded　them　8；873；　being　half　the　damage　sustained　by　Fisher。
The　Auditor　said　the　testimony　showed　that　at　least　half　the　destruction
was　done　by　the　Indians　〃before　the　troops　started　in　pursuit；〃　and　of
course　the　government　was　not　responsible　for　that　half。

2。　　That　was　in　April；　1848。　　In　December；　1848；　the　heirs　of　George
Fisher；　deceased；　came　forward　and　pleaded　for　a　〃revision〃　of　their　bill
of　damages。　　The　revision　was　made；　but　nothing　new　could　be　found　in
their　favor　except　an　error　of　100　in　the　former　calculation。　　However；
in　order　to　keep　up　the　spirits　of　the　Fisher　family；　the　Auditor
concluded　to　go　back　and　allow　interest　from　the　date　of　the　first
petition　（1832）　to　the　date　when　the　bill　of　damages　was　awarded。　　This
sent　the　Fishers　home　happy　with　sixteen　years'　interest　on　8；873the
same　amounting　to　8；997。94。　　Total；　17；870。94。

3　。　　For　an　entire　year　the　suffering　Fisher　family　remained　quieteven
satisfied；　after　a　fashion。　　Then　they　swooped　down　upon　the　government
with　their　wrongs　once　more。　　That　old　patriot；　Attorney…General　Toucey；
burrowed　through　the　musty　papers　of　the　Fishers　and　discovered　one　more
chance　for　the　desolate　orphansinterest　on　that　original　award　of
8；873　from　date　of　destruction　of　the　property　（1813）　up　to　1832！
Result；　110；004。89　for　the　indigent　Fishers。　　So　now　we　have：　First；
8；873　damages；　second；　interest　on　it　from　1832　to　1848；　8997。94；
third；　interest　on　it　dated　back　to　1813；　10；004。89。　　Total；　27；875。83！
What　better　investment　for　a　great…grandchild　than　to　get　the　Indians　to
burn　a　corn…field　for　him　sixty　or　seventy　years　before　his　birth；　and
plausibly　lay　it　on　lunatic　United　States　troops？

4。　　Strange　as　it　may　seem；　the　Fishers　let　Congress　alone　for　five
yearsor；　what　is　perhaps　more　likely；　failed　to　make　themselves　heard
by　Congress　for　that　length　of　time。　　But　at　last；　in　1854；　they　got　a
hearing。　　They　persuaded　Congress　to　pass　an　act　requiring　the　Auditor　to
re…examine　their　case。　　But　this　time　they　stumbled　upon　the　misfortune
of　an　honest　Secretary　of　the　Treasury　（Mr。　James　Guthrie）；　and　he
spoiled　everything。　　He　said　in　very　plain　language　that　the　Fishers　were
not　only　not　entitled　to　another　cent；　but　that　those　children　of　many
sorrows　and　acquainted　with　grief　had　been　paid　too　much　already。

5。　　Therefore　another　interval　of　rest　and　silent　ensued…an　interval
which　lasted　four　yearsviz　till　1858。　　The　〃right　man　in　the　right
place〃　was　then　Secretary　of　WarJohn　B。　Floyd；　of　peculiar　renown！
Here　was　a　master　intellect；　here　was　the　very　man　to　succor　the
suffering　heirs　of　dead　and　forgotten　Fisher。　　They　came　up　from　Florida
with　a　rusha　great　tidal　wave　of　Fishers　freighted　with　the　same　old
musty　documents　about　the　same　in　immortal　corn…fields　of　their　ancestor。
They　straight…way　got　an　act　passed　transferring　the　Fisher　matter　from
the　dull　Auditor　to　the　ingenious　Floyd。　　What　did　Floyd　do？　　He　said；
〃IT　WAS　PROVED　that　the　Indians　destroyed　everything　they　could　before
the　troops　entered　in　pursuit。〃　　He　considered；　therefore；　that　what　they
destroyed　must　have　consisted　of　〃the　houses　with