my discovery of england-第3章

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　perhaps　a　pail　factory　somewhere　in　London。　　But　during　my　entire　time　of　residence　there　no　one　ever　offered　to　take　me　to　them。　As　for　the　sewerageoh；　well；　I　suppose　we　are　more　hospitable　in　America。　Let　it　go　at　that。

I　had　my　answer　all　written　and　ready；　saying：

〃I　understand　that　London　is　the　second　greatest　hop…consuming；　the　fourth　hog…killing；　and　the　first　egg…absorbing　centre　in　the　world。〃

But　what　I　deplore　still　more；　and　I　think　with　reason；　is　the　total　omission　of　the　familiar　interrogation：　〃What　is　your　impression　of　our　women？〃

That's　where　the　reporter　over　on　our　side　hits　the　nail　every　time。　That　is　the　point　at　which　we　always　nudge　him　in　the　ribs　and　buy　him　a　cigar；　and　at　which　youth　and　age　join　in　a　sly　jest　together。　Here　again　the　sub…heading　comes　in　so　nicely：　THINKS　YOUNGSTOWN　WOMEN　CHARMING。　And　they　are。　They　are；　everywhere。　But　I　hate　to　think　that　I　had　to　keep　my　impression　of　London　women　unused　in　my　pocket　while　a　young　man　asked　me　whether　I　thought　modern　literature　owed　more　to　observation　and　less　to　inspiration　than　some　other　kind　of　literature。

Now　that's　exactly　the　kind　of　question；　the　last　one；　that　the　London　reporters　seem　to　harp　on。　They　seemed　hipped　about　literature；　and　their　questions　are　too　difficult。　One　asked　me　whether　the　American　drama　was　structurally　inferior　to　the　French。　I　don't　call　that　fair。　I　told　him　I　didn't　know；　that　I　used　to　know　the　answer　to　it　when　I　was　at　college；　but　that　I　had　forgotten　it；　and　that；　anyway；　I　am　too　well　off　now　to　need　to　remember　it。

That　question　is　only　one　of　a　long　list　that　they　asked　me　about　art　and　literature。　I　missed　nearly　all　of　them；　except　one　as　to　whether　I　thought　Al　Jolson　or　Frank　Tinney　was　the　higher　artist；　and　even　that　one　was　asked　by　an　American　who　is　wasting　himself　on　the　London　Press。

I　don't　want　to　speak　in　anger。　But　I　say　it　frankly；　the　atmosphere　of　these　young　men　is　not　healthy；　and　I　felt　that　I　didn't　want　to　see　them　any　more。

Had　there　been　a　reporter　of　the　kind　we　have　at　home　in　Montreal　or　Toledo　or　Springfield；　Illinois；　I　would　have　welcomed　him　at　my　hotel。　He　could　have　taken　me　out　in　a　Ford　car　and　shown　me　a　factory　and　told　me　how　many　cubic　feet　of　water　go　down　the　Thames　in　an　hour。　I　should　have　been　glad　of　his　society；　and　he　and　I　would　have　together　made　up　the　kind　of　copy　that　people　of　his　class　and　mine　read。　But　I　felt　that　if　any　young　man　came　along　to　ask　about　the　structure　of　the　modern　drama；　he　had　better　go　on　to　the　British　Museum。

Meantime　as　the　reporters　entirely　failed　to　elicit　the　large　fund　of　information　which　I　acquired；　I　reserve　my　impressions　of　London　for　a　chapter　by　themselves。



III。　…　Impressions　of　London

BEFORE　setting　down　my　impressions　of　the　great　English　metropolis；　a　phrase　which　I　have　thought　out　as　a　designation　for　London；　I　think　it　proper　to　offer　an　initial　apology。　I　find　that　I　receive　impressions　with　great　difficulty　and　have　nothing　of　that　easy　facility　in　picking　them　up　which　is　shown　by　British　writers　on　Ameriea。　I　remember　Hugh　Walpole　telling　me　that　he　could　hardly　walk　down　Broadway　without　getting　at　least　three　dollars'　worth　and　on　Fifth　Avenue　five　dollars'　worth；　and　I　recollect　that　St。　John　Ervine　came　up　to　my　house　in　Montreal；　drank　a　cup　of　tea；　borrowed　some　tobacco；　and　got　away　with　sixty　dollars'　worth　of　impressions　of　Canadian　life　and　character。

For　this　kind　of　thing　I　have　only　a　despairing　admiration。　I　can　get　an　impression　if　I　am　given　time　and　can　think　about　it　beforehand。　But　it　requires　thought。　This　fact　was　all　the　more　distressing　to　me　in　as　much　as　one　of　the　leading　editors　of　America　had　made　me　a　proposal；　as　honourable　to　him　as　it　was　Iucrative　to　me；　that　immediately　on　my　arrival　in　London；or　just　before　it；I　should　send　him　a　thousand　words　on　the　genius　of　the　English；　and　five　hundred　words　on　the　spirit　of　London；　and　two　hundred　words　of　personal　chat　with　Lord　Northcliffe。　This　contract　I　was　unable　to　fulfil　except　the　personal　chat　with　Lord　Northcliffe；　which　proved　an　easy　matter　as　he　happened　to　be　away　in　Australia。

But　I　have　since　pieced　together　my　impressions　as　conscientiously　as　I　could　and　I　present　them　here。　If　they　seem　to　be　a　little　bit　modelled　on　British　impressions　of　America　I　admit　at　once　that　the　influence　is　there。　We　writers　all　act　and　react　on　one　another；　and　when　I　see　a　good　thing　in　another　man's　book　I　react　on　it　at　once。

London；　the　name　of　which　is　already　known　to　millions　of　readers　of　this　book；　is　beautifully　situated　on　the　river　Thames；　which　here　sweeps　in　a　wide　curve　with　much　the　same　breadth　and　majesty　as　the　St。　Jo　River　at　South　Bend；　Indiana。　London；　like　South　Bend　itself；　is　a　city　of　clean　streets　and　admirable　sidewalks；　and　has　an　excellent　water　supply。　One　is　at　once　struck　by　the　number　of　excellent　and　well…appointed　motor　cars　that　one　sees　on　every　hand；　the　neatness　of　the　shops　and　the　cleanliness　and　cheerfulness　of　the　faces　of　the　people。　In　short；　as　an　English　visitor　said　of　Peterborough；　Ontario；　there　is　a　distinct　note　of　optimism　in　the　air。　I　forget　who　it　was　who　said　this；　but　at　any　rate　I　have　been　in　Peterborough　myself　and　I　have　seen　it。

Contrary　to　my　expectations　and　contrary　to　all　our　Transatlantic　precedents；　I　was　not　met　at　the　depot　by　one　of　the　leading　citizens；　himself　a　member　of　the　Municipal　Council；　driving　his　own　motor　car。　He　did　not　tuck　a　fur　rug　about　my　knees；　present　me　with　a　really　excellent　cigar　and　proceed　to　drive　me　about　the　town　so　as　to　show　me　the　leading　points　of　interest；　the　municipal　reservoir；　the　gas　works　and　the　municipal　abattoir。　In　fact　he　was　not　there。　But　I　attribute　his　absence　not　to　any　lack　of　hospitality　but　merely　to　a　certain　reserve　in　the　English　character。　They　are　as　yet　unused　to　the　arrival　of　lecturers。　When　they　get　to　be　more　accustomed　to　their　coming；　they　will　learn　to　take　them　straight　to　the　municipal　abattoir　just　as　we　do。

For　lack　of　better　guidance；　therefore；　I　had　to　form　my　impressions　of　London　by　myself。　In　the　mere　physical　sense　there　is　much　to　attract　the　eye。　The　city　is　able　to　boast　of　many　handsome　public　buildings　and　offices　which　compare　favourably　with　anything　on　the　other　side　of　the　Atlantic。　On　the　bank　of　the　Thames　itself　rises　the　power　house　of　the　Westminster　Electric　Supply　Corporation；　a　handsome　modern　edifice　in　the　later　Japanese　style。　Close　by　are　the　commodious　premises　of　the　Imperial　Tobacco　Company；　while　at　no　great　distance　the　Chelsea　Gas　Works　add　a　striking　feature　of　rotundity。　Passing　northward；　one　observes　Westminster　Bridge；　notable　as　a　principal　station　of　the　underground　railway。　This　station　and　the　one　next　above　it；　the　Charing　Cross　one；　are　connected　by　a　wide　thoroughfare　called　Whitehall。　One　of　the　best　American　drug　stores　is　here　situated。　The　upper　end　of　Whitehall　opens　into　the　majestic　and　spacious　Trafalgar　Square。　　Here　are　grouped　in　imposing　proximity　the　offices　of　the　Canadian　Pacific　and　other　railways；　The　International　Sleeping　Car　Company；　the　Montreal　Star；　and　the　Anglo…Dutch　Bank。　Two　of　the　best　American　barber　shops　are　conveniently　grouped　near　the　Square；　while　the　existence　of　a　tall　stone　monument　in　the　middle　of　the　Square　itself　enables　the　American　visitor　to　find　them　without　difficulty。　　Passing　eastward　towards　the　heart　of　the　city；　one　notes　on　the　left　hand　the　imposing　pile　of　St。　Paul's；　an　enormous　church　with　a　round　dome　on　the　top；　suggesting　strongly　the　first　Church　of　Christ　（Scientist）　on　Euclid　Avenue；　Cleveland。

But　the　English　churches　not　being　labelled；　the　visitor　is　often　at　a　loss　to　distinguish　them。

A　little　further　on　one　finds　oneself　in　the　heart　of　financial　London。　Here　all　the　great　financial　institutions　of　AmericaThe　First　National　Bank　of　Milwaukee；　The　Planters　National　Bank　of　St。　Louis；　The　Montana　Farmers　Trust　Co。；　and　many　others；have　either　their　offices　or　their　agents。　The　Bank　of　Englandwhich　acts　as　the　London　Agent　of　The　Montana　Farmers　Trust　Company；　and　the　London　County　Bank；　which　represents　the　People's　Deposit　Co。；　of　Yonkers；　N。Y。；　are　said　to　be　in　the　neighbourhood。

This　particular　part　of　London　is　connected　with　the　existence　of　that　strange　and　mysterious　thing　called　〃the　City。〃　I　am　still　unable　to　decide　whether　the　city　is　a　person；　or　a　place；　or　a　thing。　But　as　a　form　of　being　I　give　it　credit　for　being　the　most　emotional；　the　most　volatile；　the　most　peculiar　creature　in　the　world。　You　read　in　the　morning　paper　that　the　City　is　〃deeply　depressed。〃　At　noon　it　is　reported　that　the　City　is　〃buoyant〃　and　by　four　o'clock　that　the　City　is　〃wildly　excited。〃

I　have　tried　in　vain　to　find　the　causes　of　these　peculiar　changes　of　feeling。　The　ostensible　reasons；　as　given　in　the　newspaper；　are　so　trivial　as　to　be　hardly　worthy　of　belief。　For　example；　here　is　the　kind　of　news　that　comes　out　from　the　City。　〃The　news　that　a　modus　vivendi　has　been　signed　between　the　Sultan　of　Kowfat　and　the　Shriek…ul…Islam　has　caused　a　sudden　buoyancy　in　the　City。　Steel　rails　which　had　been　depressed　all　morning　reacted　immediately　while　American　mules　rose　up　sharply　to　par。〃　。　。　。　〃Monsieur　Poincar；　speaking　at　Bordeaux；　said　that　henceforth　France　must　seek　to　retain　by　all　possible　means　the　ping…pong　championship　of　the　world：　values　in　the　City　collapsed　at　once。〃　。　。　。　〃Despatches　from　Bombay　say　that　the　Shah　of　Persia　yesterday　handed　a　golden　slipper　to　the　Grand　Vizier　Feebli　Pasha　as　a　sign　that　he　might　go　and　chase　himself：　the　news　was　at　once　followed　by　a　drop　in　oil；　and　a　rapid　attempt　to　liquidate　everything　that　is　fluid　。　。　。〃

But　these　mysteries　of　the　City　I　do　not　pretend　to　explain。　I　have　passed　through　the　place　dozens　of　times　and　never　noticed　anything　particular　in　the　way　of　depression　or　buoyancy；　or　falling　oil；　or　rising　rails。　But　no　doubt　it　is　there。

A　little　beyond　the　city　and　further　down　the　river　the　visitor　finds　this　district　of　London　terminating　in　the　gloomy　and　forbidding　Tower；　the　principal　penitentiary　of　the　city。　Here　Queen　Victoria　was　imprisoned　for　many　years。

Excellent　gasoline　can　be　had　at　the　American　Garage　immediately　north　of　the　Tower；　where　motor　repairs　of　all　kinds　are　also　carried　on。

These；　however；　are　but　the　superficial　pictures　of　London；　gathered　by　the　eye　of　the　tourist。　A　far　deeper　meaning　is　found　in　the　examination　of　the　great　historic　monuments　of　the　city。　The　principal　ones　of　these　are　the　Tower　of　London　（just　mentioned）；　the　British　Museum　and　Westminster　Abbey。　No　visitor　to　London　should　fail　to　see　these。　Indeed　he　ought　to　feel　that　his　visit　to　England　is　wasted　unless　he　has　seen　them。　I　speak　strongly　on　the　point　because　I　feel　strongly　on　it。　To　my　mind　there　is　something　about　the　grim　fascination　of　the　historic　Tower；　the　cloistered　quiet　of　the　Museum　and　the　majesty　of　the　ancient　Abbey；　which　will　make　it　the　regret　of　my　life　that　I　didn't　see　any　one　of　the　three。　I　fully　meant　to：　but　I　failed：　and　I　can　only　hope　that　the　circumstances　of　my　failure　may　be　helpful　to　other　visitors。

The　Tower　of　London　I　most　cert