cranford(克兰弗德)-第6章
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Jenkyns could not exactly say how。 Miss Pole was to stop with Miss
Jessie。 Mrs Jamieson had sent to inquire。 And this was all we heard
that night； and a sorrowful night it was。 The next day a full account of
the fatal accident was in the county paper which Miss Jenkyns took in。
Her eyes were very weak； she said； and she asked me to read it。 When
I came to the 〃gallant gentleman was deeply engaged in the perusal of a
number of 'Pickwick；' which he had just received；〃 Miss Jenkyns shook
her head long and solemnly； and then sighed out； 〃Poor； dear； infatuated
man！〃
The corpse was to be taken from the station to the parish church；
there to be interred。 Miss Jessie had set her heart on following it to the
grave； and no dissuasives could alter her resolve。 Her restraint upon
herself made her almost obstinate； she resisted all Miss Pole's entreaties
and Miss Jenkyns' advice。 At last Miss Jenkyns gave up the point； and
after a silence； which I feared portended some deep displeasure against
Miss Jessie； Miss Jenkyns said she should accompany the latter to the
funeral。
〃It is not fit for you to go alone。 It would be against both propriety
and humanity were I to allow it。〃
Miss Jessie seemed as if she did not half like this arrangement； but
her obstinacy； if she had any； had been exhausted in her determination to
go to the interment。 She longed； poor thing； I have no doubt； to cry
alone over the grave of the dear father to whom she had been all in all；
and to give way； for one little half… hour； uninterrupted by sympathy and
unobserved by friendship。 But it was not to be。 That afternoon Miss
Jenkyns sent out for a yard of black crape； and employed herself busily
in trimming the little black silk bonnet I have spoken about。 When it
was finished she put it on； and looked at us for approbation … admiration
she despised。 I was full of sorrow； but； by one of those whimsical
thoughts which come unbidden into our heads； in times of deepest grief；
I no sooner saw the bonnet than I was reminded of a helmet； and in that
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hybrid bonnet； half helmet； half jockey…cap； did Miss Jenkyns attend
Captain Brown's funeral； and； I believe； supported Miss Jessie with a
tender； indulgent firmness which was invaluable； allowing her to weep
her passionate fill before they left。
Miss Pole； Miss Matty； and I； meanwhile attended to Miss Brown： and
hard work we found it to relieve her querulous and never…ending
complaints。 But if we were so weary and dispirited； what must Miss
Jessie have been！ Yet she came back almost calm as if she had gained
a new strength。 She put off her mourning dress； and came in； looking
pale and gentle； thanking us each with a soft long pressure of the hand。
She could even smile … a faint； sweet； wintry smile … as if to reassure us
of her power to endure； but her look made our eyes fill suddenly with
tears； more than if she had cried outright。
It was settled that Miss Pole was to remain with her all the watching
livelong night； and that Miss Matty and I were to return in the morning
to relieve them； and give Miss Jessie the opportunity for a few hours of
sleep。 But when the morning came； Miss Jenkyns appeared at the
breakfast…table； equipped in her helmet…bonnet； and ordered Miss Matty
to stay at home； as she meant to go and help to nurse。 She was
evidently in a state of great friendly excitement； which she showed by
eating her breakfast standing； and scolding the household all round。
No nursing … no energetic strong…minded woman could help Miss
Brown now。 There was that in the room as we entered which was
stronger than us all； and made us shrink into solemn awestruck
helplessness。 Miss Brown was dying。 We hardly knew her voice； it
was so devoid of the complaining tone we had always associated with it。
Miss Jessie told me afterwards that it； and her face too； were just what
they had been formerly； when her mother's death left her the young
anxious head of the family； of whom only Miss Jessie survived。
She was conscious of her sister's presence； though not； I think； of
ours。 We stood a little behind the curtain： Miss Jessie knelt with her
face near her sister's； in order to catch the last soft awful whispers。
〃Oh； Jessie！ Jessie！ How selfish I have been！ God forgive me for
letting you sacrifice yourself for me as you did！ I have so loved you …
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and yet I have thought only of myself。 God forgive me！〃
〃Hush； love！ hush！〃 said Miss Jessie； sobbing。
〃And my father； my dear； dear father！ I will not complain now； if
God will give me strength to be patient。 But； oh； Jessie！ tell my father
how I longed and yearned to see him at last； and to ask his forgiveness。
He can never know now how I loved him … oh！ if I might but tell him；
before I die！ What a life of sorrow his has been； and I have done so
little to cheer him！〃
A light came into Miss Jessie's face。 〃Would it comfort you；
dearest； to think that he does know？ … would it comfort you； love； to
know that his cares； his sorrows〃 … Her voice quivered； but she steadied
it into calmness … 〃Mary！ he has gone before you to the place where the
weary are at rest。 He knows now how you loved him。〃
A strange look； which was not distress； came over Miss Brown's face。
She did not speak for come time； but then we saw her lips form the
words； rather than heard the sound … 〃Father； mother； Harry； Archy；〃 …
then； as if it were a new idea throwing a filmy shadow over her darkened
mind … 〃But you will be alone； Jessie！〃
Miss Jessie had been feeling this all during the silence； I think； for
the tears rolled down her cheeks like rain； at these words； and she could
not answer at first。 Then she put her hands together tight； and lifted
them up； and said … but not to us … 〃Though He slay me； yet will I trust in
Him。〃
In a few moments more Miss Brown lay calm and still … never to
sorrow or murmur more。
After this second funeral； Miss Jenkyns insisted that Miss Jessie
should come to stay with her rather than go back to the desolate house；
which； in fact； we learned from Miss Jessie； must now be given up； as
she had not wherewithal to maintain it。 She had something above
twenty pounds a year； besides the interest of the money for which the
furniture would sell； but she could not live upon that： and so we talked
over her qualifications for earning money。
〃I can sew neatly；〃 said she； 〃and I like nursing。 I think； too； I
could manage a house； if any one would try me as housekeeper； or I
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would go into a shop as saleswoman； if they would have patience with
me at first。〃
Miss Jenkyns declared； in an angry voice； that she should do no such
thing； and talked to herself about 〃some people having no idea of their
rank as a captain's daughter；〃 nearly an hour afterwards； when she
brought Miss Jessie up a basin of delicately…made arrowroot； and stood
over her like a dragoon until the last spoonful was finished： then she
disappeared。 Miss Jessie began to tell me some more of the plans
which had suggested themselves to her； and insensibly fell into talking
of the days that were past and gone； and interested me so much I neither
knew nor heeded how time passed。 We were both startled when Miss
Jenkyns reappeared； and caught us crying。 I was afraid lest she would
be displeased； as she often said that crying hindered digestion； and I
knew she wanted Miss Jessie to get strong； but； instead； she looked
queer and excited； and fidgeted round us without saying anything。 At
last she spoke。
〃I have been so much startled … no； I've not been at all startled … don't
mind me； my dear Miss Jessie … I've been very much surprised … in fact；
I've had a caller； whom you knew once； my dear Miss Jessie〃 …
Miss Jessie went very white； then flushed scarlet； and looked eagerly
at Miss Jenkyns。
〃A gentleman； my dear； who wants to know if you would see him。〃
〃Is it？ … it is not〃 … stammered out Miss Jessie … and got no farther。
〃This is his card；〃 said Miss Jenkyns； giving it to Miss Jessie； and
while her head was bent over it； Miss Jenkyns went through a series of
winks and odd faces to me； and formed her lips into a long sentence； of
which； of course； I could not understand a word。
〃May he come up？〃 asked Miss Jenkyns at last。
〃Oh； yes！ certainly！〃 said Miss Jessie； as much as to say； this is your
house； you may show any visitor where you like。 She to
