cranford(克兰弗德)-第33章
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money he sends； but people must know very little about art if they can
take him for my husband。 Why； Miss； in the ball trick； where my
husband spreads his fingers wide； and throws out his little finger with
quite an air and a grace； Thomas just clumps up his hand like a fist； and
might have ever so many balls hidden in it。 Besides； he has never been
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in India； and knows nothing of the proper sit of a turban。〃
〃Have you been in India？〃 said I； rather astonished。
〃Oh； yes！ many a year； ma'am。 Sam was a sergeant in the 31st； and
when the regiment was ordered to India； I drew a lot to go； and I was
more thankful than I can tell； for it seemed as if it would only be a slow
death to me to part from my husband。 But； indeed； ma'am； if I had
known all； I don't know whether I would not rather have died there and
then than gone through what I have done since。 To be sure； I've been
able to comfort Sam； and to be with him； but； ma'am； I've lost six
children；〃 said she； looking up at me with those strange eyes that I've
never noticed but in mothers of dead children … with a kind of wild look
in them； as if seeking for what they never more might find。 〃Yes！ Six
children died off； like little buds nipped untimely； in that cruel India。 I
thought； as each died； I never could … I never would … love a child again；
and when the next came； it had not only its own love； but the deeper
love that came from the thoughts of its little dead brothers and sisters。
And when Phoebe was coming； I said to my husband； 'Sam； when the
child is born； and I am strong； I shall leave you； it will cut my heart cruel；
but if this baby dies too； I shall go mad； the madness is in me now； but if
you let me go down to Calcutta； carrying my baby step by step； it will；
maybe； work itself off； and I will save； and I will hoard； and I will beg …
and I will die； to get a passage home to England； where our baby may
live？' God bless him！ he said I might go； and he saved up his pay； and I
saved every pice I could get for washing or any way； and when Phoebe
came； and I grew strong again； I set off。 It was very lonely； through the
thick forests； dark again with their heavy trees … along by the river's side
（but I had been brought up near the Avon in Warwickshire； so that
flowing noise sounded like home） … from station to station； from Indian
village to village； I went along； carrying my child。 I had seen one of
the officer's ladies with a little picture； ma'am … done by a Catholic
foreigner； ma'am … of the Virgin and the little Saviour； ma'am。 She had
him on her arm； and her form was softly curled round him； and their
cheeks touched。 Well； when I went to bid good…bye to this lady； for
whom I had washed； she cried sadly； for she； too； had lost her children；
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but she had not another to save； like me； and I was bold enough to ask
her would she give me that print。 And she cried the more； and said her
children were with that little blessed Jesus； and gave it me； and told me
that she had heard it had been painted on the bottom of a cask； which
made it have that round shape。 And when my body was very weary；
and my heart was sick （for there were times when I misdoubted if I
could ever reach my home； and there were times when I thought of my
husband； and one time when I thought my baby was dying）； I took out
that picture and looked at it； till I could have thought the mother spoke to
me； and comforted me。 And the natives were very kind。 We could
not understand one another； but they saw my baby on my breast； and
they came out to me； and brought me rice and milk； and sometimes
flowers … I have got some of the flowers dried。 Then； the next morning；
I was so tired； and they wanted me to stay with them … I could tell that …
and tried to frighten me from going into the deep woods； which； indeed；
looked very strange and dark； but it seemed to me as if Death was
following me to take my baby away from me； and as if I must go on； and
on … and I thought how God had cared for mothers ever since the world
was made； and would care for me； so I bade them good…bye； and set off
afresh。 And once when my baby was ill； and both she and I needed rest；
He led me to a place where I found a kind Englishman lived； right in the
midst of the natives。〃
〃And you reached Calcutta safely at last？〃
〃Yes； safely！ Oh！ when I knew I had only two days' journey more
before me； I could not help it； ma'am … it might be idolatry； I cannot tell …
but I was near one of the native temples； and I went into it with my baby
to thank God for His great mercy； for it seemed to me that where others
had prayed before to their God； in their joy or in their agony； was of
itself a sacred place。 And I got as servant to an invalid lady； who grew
quite fond of my baby aboard…ship； and； in two years' time； Sam earned
his discharge； and came home to me； and to our child。 Then he had to
fix on a trade； but he knew of none； and once； once upon a time； he had
learnt some tricks from an Indian juggler； so he set up conjuring； and it
answered so well that he took Thomas to help him … as his man； you
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know； not as another conjuror； though Thomas has set it up now on his
own hook。 But it has been a great help to us that likeness between the
twins； and made a good many tricks go off well that they made up
together。 And Thomas is a good brother； only he has not the fine
carriage of my husband； so that I can't think how he can be taken for
Signor Brunoni himself； as he says he is。〃
〃Poor little Phoebe！〃 said I； my thoughts going back to the baby she
carried all those hundred miles。
〃Ah！ you may say so！ I never thought I should have reared her；
though； when she fell ill at Chunderabaddad； but that good； kind Aga
Jenkyns took us in； which I believe was the very saving of her。〃
〃Jenkyns！〃 said I。
〃Yes； Jenkyns。 I shall think all people of that name are kind； for
here is that nice old lady who comes every day to take Phoebe a walk！〃
But an idea had flashed through my head； could the Aga Jenkyns be
the lost Peter？ True he was reported by many to be dead。 But；
equally true； some had said that he had arrived at the dignity of Great
Lama of Thibet。 Miss Matty thought he was alive。 I would make
further inquiry。
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CHAPTER XII … ENGAGED TO
BE MARRIED
WAS the 〃poor Peter〃 of Cranford the Aga Jenkyns of
Chunderabaddad； or was he not？ As somebody says； that was the
question。
In my own home； whenever people had nothing else to do； they
blamed me for want of discretion。 Indiscretion was my bug…bear fault。
Everybody has a bug…bear fault； a sort of standing characteristic … a
PIECE DE RESISTANCE for their friends to cut at； and in general they
cut and come again。 I was tired of being called indiscreet and
incautious； and I determined for once to prove myself a model of
prudence and wisdom。 I would not even hint my suspicions respecting
the Aga。 I would collect evidence and carry it home to lay before my
father； as the family friend of the two Miss Jenkynses。
In my search after facts； I was often reminded of a description my
father had once given of a ladies' committee that he had had to preside
over。 He said he could not help thinking of a passage in Dickens；
which spoke of a chorus in which every man took the tune he knew best；
and sang it to his own satisfaction。 So； at this charitable committee；
every lady took the subject uppermost in her mind； and talked about it to
her own great contentment； but not much to the advancement of the
subject they had met to discuss。 But even that committee could have
been nothing to the Cranford ladies when I attempted to gain some clear
and definite information as to poor Peter's height； appearance； and when
and where he was seen and heard of last。 For instance； I remember
asking Miss Pole （and I thought the question was very opportune； for I
put it when I met her at a call at Mrs Forrester's； and both the ladies had
known Peter； and I imagined that they might refresh each other's
memories） … I asked Miss Pole what was the very last thing they had
ever heard about him； and then she named the absurd report to which I
have alluded； about his having been elected Great Lama of Thibet；
