jeremy-第25章

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At　this　stage　in　his　thinking　he　removed　his　arm　from　Hamlet's　neck
and　looked　at　the　animal。　At　the　same　moment　the　light　that　had
filled　the　glass…house　with　a　fiery　radiance　that　burnt　to　the　very
heart　of　the　place　was　clouded。　Above；　in　the　sky；　black；　smoky
clouds；　rolling　in　fold　after　fold；　as　though　some　demon　were
flinging　them　out　across　the　sky　as　one　flings　a　carpet；　piled　up
and　up；　each　one　darker　than　the　last。　The　light　vanished；　the
conservatory　was　filled　with　a　thick；　murky　glow；　and　far　across　the
fields；　from　the　heart　of　the　black　wood；　came　the　low　rumble　of
thunder。　But　Jeremy　did　not　hear　that；　he　was　busy　with　his
thoughts。　lie　stared　at　the　dog；　who　was　lying　stretched　out　on　the
dirty　floor；　his　nose　between　his　toes。　It　cannot　truthfully　be　said
that　the　resolve　that　was　forming　in　Jeremy's　head　had　its　birth　in
any　fine；　noble　idealisms。　It　was　as　though　some　bully；　seizing　his
best　marbles；　had　said：　〃I'll　give　you　these　back　if　you　hand　over
this　week's　pocket…money！〃　His　attitude　to　the　bully　could　not
truthfully　be　described　as　one　of　homage　or　reverence；　rather　was　it
one　of　anger　and　impotent　rebellion。

He　loved　Hamlet；　and　he　loved　his　mother　more　than　Hamlet；　but　he
was　not　moved　by　sentiment。　Grimly；　his　legs　apart；　his　eyes　shut
tight；　as　they　were　when　he　said　his　prayers；　he　made　his　challenge。

〃I'll　give　you　Hamlet　if　you　don't　take　Mother〃　A　pause。　〃Only　I
can't　cut　Hamlet's　throat。　But　I　could　lose　him；　if　that　would　do。　。
。　Only　you　must　take　him　nowI　couldn't　do　it　to…morrow。〃　His　voice
began　to　tremble。　He　was　frightened。　He　could　feel　behind　his　closed
eyes　that　the　darkness　had　gathered。　The　place　seemed　to　be　filled
with　rolling　smoke；　and　the　house　was　so　terribly　still！

He　said　again：　〃You　can　take　Hamlet。　He's　my　best　thing。　You　can
You　can〃

There　followed　then；　with　the　promptitude　of　a　most　admirably
managed　theatrical　climax；　a　peal　of　thunder　that　seemed　to　strike
the　house　with　the　iron　hand　of　a　giant。　Two　more　came；　and　then；
for　a　second；　a　silence；　more　deadly　than　all　the　earlier　havoc。

Jeremy　felt　that　God　had　leapt　upon　him。　He　opened　his　eyes；　turned
as　though　to　run；　and　then　saw；　with　a　freezing　check　upon　the　very
beat　of　his　heart；　that　Hamlet　was　gone。




V


There　was　no　Hamlet！

In　that　second　of　frantic　unreasoning　terror　he　received　a
conviction　of　God　that　no　rationalistic　training　in　later　years　was
able　to　remove。

There　was　no　Hamlet！only　the　dusky　dirty　place　with　a　black
torrent…driven　world　beyond　it。　With　a　rush　as　of　a　thousand　whips
slashing　the　air；　the　rain　came　down　upon　the　glass。　Jeremy　turned；
crying　〃Mother！　Mother！　I　want　Mother！〃　and　flung　himself　at　the　red
glass　doors；　fumbling　in　his　terror　for　the　handle；　he　felt　as
though　the　end　of　the　world　had　come；　such　a　panic　had　seized　him　as
only　belongs　to　the　most　desperate　of　nightmares。　God　had　answered
him。　Hamlet　was　gone　and　in　a　moment　Jeremy　himself　might　be
seized　。　。　。

He　felt　frantically　for　the　door；　he　beat　upon　the　glass。

He　cried　〃Mother！　Mother！　Mother！〃

He　had　found　the　door；　but　just　as　he　turned　the　handle　he　was　aware
of　a　new　sound；　heard　distantly；　through　the　rain。　Looking　back　he
saw；　from　behind　a　rampart　of　dusty　flower…pots；　first　a　head；　then
a　rough　tousled　body；　then　a　tail　that　might　be　recognised　amongst
all　the　tails　of　Christendom。

Hamlet　（who　had　trained　himself　to　meet　with　a　fine　natural　show　of
bravery　every　possible　violence　save　only　thunder）　crept　ashamed；
dirty　and　smiling　towards　his　master。　God　had　only　played　His　trick…
…Abraham　and　Isaac　after　all。

Then　with　a　fine　sense　of　victory　and　defiance　Jeremy　turned　back；
looked　up　at　the　slashing　rain；　gazed　out　upon　the　black　country；　at
last　seized　Hamlet　and　dragging　him　out　by　his　hind…legs；　knelt
there　in　the　dust　and　suffered　himself　to　be　licked　until　his　face
was　as　though　a　snail　had　crossed　over　it。

The　thunder　passed。　Blue　pushed　up　into　the　grey。　A　cool　air　blew
through　the　world。

Nevertheless；　deep　in　his　heart；　the　terror　remained。　In　that　moment
he　had　met　God　face　to　face；　he　had　delivered　his　first　challenge。

P。S。To　the　incredulous　and　cynical　of　heart　authoritative　evidence
can　be　shown　to　prove　that　it　was　on　the　evening　of　that　Sunday　that
Mrs。　Cole　turned　the　corner　towards　recovery。




CHAPTER　VIII

TO　COW　FARM！


I


This　next　episode　in　Jeremy's　year　has；　be　it　thoroughly　understood；
no　plot　nor　climax　to　itit　is　simply　the　chronicle　of　an　Odyssey。
Nor　can　it　be　said　to　have　been　anything　but　a　very　ordinary　Odyssey
to　the　outside　observer　who；　if　he　be　a　parent；　will　tell　you　that
going　to　the　seaside　with　the　family　is　the　most　bothering　thing　in
the　world；　and　if　he　is　a　bachelor　or　old　maid　will　tell　you　that
being　in　the　same　carriage　with　other　people's　children　who　are
going　to　the　sea　is　an　abominable　business　and　the　Law　ought　to　have
something　to　say　to　it。

All　through　May；　June　and　July　Mrs。　Cole　slowly　pulled　back　to
something　like　her　natural　health。　The　new　infant；　Barbara　by　name；
was　as　strong　as　a　pony；　and　kicked　and　screamed　and　roared　so　that
the　house　was　quite　a　new　place。　Her　arrival　had　done　a　great　deal
for　Helen；　whose　gaze　had　hitherto　been　concentrated　entirely　upon
herself；　now　she　suddenly　discovered　a　new　element　in　life；　and　it
was　found　that　she　was　〃ideal　with　a　baby〃　and　〃a　great　help　to
nurse。〃　This　made　her　more　human；　and　Barbara；　realising　as　babies
always　do　who　understands　and　who　does　not；　would　behave　with　Helen
when　she　would　behave　with　no　one　else。　Mary　could　not　be　expected
to　transfer　her　allegiance　from　Jeremy；　and　then　Barbara　was
frightened　at　her　spectacles；　Jeremy；　having　Hamlet；　did　not　need　a
baby！

There　came　a　fine　hot　morning　towards　the　end　of　July　when　Miss
Jones　said；　suddenly；　in　the　middle　of　the　history　lesson：　〃Saturday
week　we　go　to　Rafiel。〃　Jeremy　choked；　kicked　Mary　under　the　table；
and　was　generally　impossible　during　the　rest　of　the　morning。　It　was
Miss　Jones's　fault；　she　should　have　chosen　her　occasion　more
carefully。　Before　the　evening　Jeremy　was　standing　in　the　corner　for
drawing　on　his　bedroom　wall…paper　enormous　figures　in　the　blackest
of　black　lead。　These　were　to　mark　the　days　that　remained　before
Saturday　week；　and　it　was；　Jeremy　maintained；　a　perfectly　natural
thing　to　do　and　didn't　hurt　the　old　wall…paper　which　was　dirty
enough　anyway；　and　Mother　had　said；　long　ago；　he　should　have　a　new
one。

Meanwhile；　impossible　to　describe　what　Jeremy　felt　about　it。　Each
year　Cow　Farm　and　Rafiel　had　grown　more　wonderful；　this　was　now　the
fifth　that　would　welcome　them　there。　At　first　the　horizon　had　been
limited　by　physical　incapacity；　then　the　third　year　had　been　rainy；
and　the　fourthah；　the　fourth！　There　had　been　very　little　the
matter　with　that！　But　this　would　be　better　yet。　For　one　thing；　there
had　never　been　such　a　summer　as　this　year　was　providinga　little
rain　at　night；　a　little　breeze　at　the　hottest　hour　of　the　day
everything　arranged　on　purpose　for　Jeremy's　comfort。　And　then；
although　he　did　not　know　it；　this　was　to　be　truly　the　wonderful
summer　for　him；　because　after　this　he　would　be　a　schoolboy　and；　as
is　well　known；　schoolboys　believe　in　nothing　save　what　they　can　see
with　their　own　eyes　and　are　told　by　other　boys　physically　stronger
than　themselves。

Five　or　six　days　before　the　great　departure　he　began　to　worry
himself　about　his　box。　Two　years　ago　he　had　been　given　a　little
imitation　green　canvas　luggage　box　exactly　like　his　father's；　except
that　this　one　was　light　enough　to　carry　in　one's　hand。　Jeremy　adored
this　box　and　would　have　taken　it　out　with　him；　had　he　been
permitted；　on　all　his　walks；　but　he　had　a　way　of　filling　it　with
heavy　stones　and　then　asking　Miss　Jones　to　carry　it　for　him；　it　had
therefore　been　forbidden。

But　he　would；　of　course；　take　it　with　him　to　Cow　Farm；　and　it　should
contain　all　the　things　that　he　loved　best。　At　first　〃all　the　things
that　he　loved　best〃　had　not　seemed　so　very　numerous。　There　would；
first　of　all；　of　course；　be　the　Hottentot；　a　black　and　battered
clown　for　whom　he　had　long　ceased　to　feel　any　affection；　but　he　was
compelled　by　an　irritating　sense　of　loyalty　to　include　it　in　the
party　just　as　his　mother　might　include　some　tiresome　old　maid
〃because　she　had　nowhere　to　go　to；　poor　thing。〃　After　the　Hottentot
there　would　be　his　paint…box；　after　the　paint…　box　a　blue　writing…
case；　after　the　writing…case　the　family　photographs　（Father；　Mother；
Mary　and　Helen）；　after　the　photographs　a　toy　pistol；　after　the
pistol　Hamlet's　ball　（a　worsted　affair　rendered　by　now　shapeless　and
incoherent）；　after　the　ball　〃Alice　in　Wonderland〃　（Mary's　copy；　but
she　didn't　know）；　after　〃Alice；〃　〃Herr　Baby；〃　after　〃Herr　Baby〃　the
Prayer　Book　that　Aunt　Amy　gave　him　last　birthday；　after　the　Prayer
Book　some　dried　flowers　which　were　to　be　presented　to　Mrs。　Monk；　the
lady　of　Cow　Farm　（this　might　be　called　carrying　coals　to　Newcastle）；
after　the　flowers　a　Bible；　after　the　Bible　four　walnuts　（very　dry
and　hard　ones）；　after　the　walnuts　some　transfer　papers；　after　the
transfer　papers　six　marblesthe　box　was　full　and　more　than　full；
and　he　had　not　included　the　hammer　and　nails　that　Uncle　Samuel　had
once　given　him；　nor　the　cigarette…case　（innocent　now　of　cigarettes；
and　transformed　first　into　a　home　for　walking　snails；　second　a　grave
for　dead　butterflies；　third　a　mouse…trap）；　nor　the　butterfly　net；
nor　〃Struuwelpeter；〃　nor　the　picture　of　Queen　Victoria　cut　from　the
chocolate…box；　normost　impossible　omission　of　allthe　toy…
village。　The　toy…village！　What　must　he　do　about　that？　Obviously
impossible　to　take　it　alland　yet　some　of　it　he　must　have。　Mr。　and
Mrs。　Noah　and　the　church；　perhapsor　no；　Mrs。　Monk　would　want　to
see　the　gardenit　would　never　do　not　to　show　her　the　orchard　with
the　apple…trees；　and　then　the　youngest　Miss　Noah！　She　had　always
seemed　to　Jeremy　so　attractive　with　her　straight　blue　gown　and　hard
red　cheeks。　He　must　show　her　to　Mrs。　Monk。　And　the　butcher's　shop；
and　then　the　sheep；　and　the　dogs　and　the　cows！

He　was　truly　in　despair。　He　sat　on　the　schoolroom　floor　with　his
possessions　all　around　him。　Only　Helen　was　in　the　room；　and　he　knew
that　it　would　be　no　use　to　appeal　to　hershe　had　become　so　much
more　conceited　since　Barbara's　arrivaland　yet　he　must　appeal　to
somebody；　so　he　said　to　her　very　politely：

〃Please；　Helen；　I've　got　my　box　and　so　many　things　to　put　into　it
and　it's　nearly　Saturday　alreadyand　I　want　to　show　the　Noahs　to
Mrs。　Monk。〃

This　would　have　been　a　difficult　sentence　for　the　most　clear…headed
person　to　unravel；　and　Helen　was；　at　that　moment；　trying　to　write　a
letter　to　an　aunt　whom　she　had　never　seen　and　for　whom　she　had　no
sort　of　affection；　so　she　answered　him　rather　roughly：

〃Oh；　don't　bother　with　your　box；　Jeremy。　Can't　you　see　I'm　busy？〃

〃You　may　be　busy；〃　said　Jeremy；　rising　indignantly　to　his　feet；　〃but
I'm　busy　too；　and　my　business　is　just　as　good　as　yours　with　your
silly　old　letter。〃

〃Oh；　don't　bother！〃　said　Helen；　whereupon　Jeremy　crept　behind　her
and　pinched　her　stocking。　A　battle　followed；　too　commonplace　in　its
details　to　demand　descri