treatises on friendship and old age-第8章

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business；　or　those　lastly　who　have　given　themselves　body　and　soul
to　sensuality…they　all　think；　I　say；　that　without　friendship　life　is　no
life；　if　they　want　some　part　of　it；　at　any　rate；　to　be　noble。　　For
friendship；　in　one　way　or　another；　penetrates　into　the　lives　of　us
all；　and　suffers　no　career　to　be　entirely　free　from　its　influence。
Though　a　man　be　of　so　churlish　and　unsociable　a　nature　as　to
loathe　and　shun　the　company　of　mankind；　as　we　are　told　was　the
case　with　a　certain　Timon　at　Athens；　yet　even　he　cannot　refrain
from　seeking　some　one　in　whose　hearing　he　may　disgorge　the
venom　of　his　bitter　temper。　We　should　see　this　most　clearly；　if　it
were　possible　that　some　god　should　carry　us　away　from　these
haunts　of　men；　and　place　us　some…where　in　perfect　solitude；　and
then　should　supply　us　in　abundance　with　everything　necessary　to
our　nature；　and　yet　take　from　us　entirely　the　opportunity　of　looking
upon　a　human　being。　　Who　could　steel　himself　to　endure　such　a
life？　　Who　would　not　lose　in　his　loneliness　the　zest　for　all
pleasures？　　And　indeed　this　is　the　point　of　the　observation　of；　I
think；　Archytas　of　Tarentum。　I　have　it　third　hand；　men　who　were
my　seniors　told　me　that　their　seniors　had　told　them。　It　was　this：　〃If
a　man　could　ascend　to　heaven　and　get　a　clear　view　of　the　natural
order　of　the　universe；　and　the　beauty　of　the　heavenly　bodies；　that
wonderful　spectacle　would　give　him　small　pleasure；　though
nothing　could　be　conceived　more　delightful　if　he　had　but　had　some
one　to　whom　to　tell　what　he　had　seen。〃　　So　true　it　is　that　nature
abhors　isolation；　and　ever　leans　upon　some…thing　as　a　stay　and
support；　and　this　is　found　in　its　most　pleasing　form　in　our　closest
friend。

24。

But　though　Nature　also　declares　by　so　many　indications　what　her
wish　and　object　and　desire　is；　we　yet　in　a　manner　turn　a　deaf　ear
and　will　not　hear　her　warnings。　The　intercourse　between　friends　is
varied　and　complex；　and　it　must　often　happen　that　causes　of
suspicion　and　offence　arise；　which　a　wise　man　will　sometimes
avoid；　at　other　times　remove；　at　others　treat　with　indulgence。　　The
one　possible　cause　of　offence　that　must　be　faced　is　when　the
interests　of　your　friend　and　your　own　sincerity　are　at　stake。　　For
instance；　it　often　happens　that　friends　need　remonstrance　and　even
reproof。　　When　these　are　administered　in　a　kindly　spirit　they　ought
to　be　taken　in　good　part。　But　somehow　or　other　there　is　truth　in
what　my　friend　Terence　says　in　his　_Andria_：

Compliance　gets　us　friends；　plain　speaking　hate。

Plain　speaking　is　a　cause　of　trouble；　if　the　result　of　It　is
resentment；　which　is　poison　of　friendship；　but　compliance　is　really
the　cause　of　much　more　trouble；　because　by　indulging　his　faults　it
lets　a　friend　plunge　into　headlong　ruin。　But　the　man　who　is　most　to
blame　is　he　who　resents　plain　speaking　and　allows　flattery　to　egg
him　on　to　his　ruin。　On　this　point；　then；　from　first　to　last　there　is
need　of　deliberation　and　care。　If　we　remonstrate；　it　should　be
without　bitterness；　if　we　reprove；　there　should　be　no　word　of
insult。　In　the　matter　of　compliance　（for　I　am　glad　to　adopt
Terence's　word）；　though　there　should　be　every　courtesy；　yet　that
base　kind　which　assists　a　man　in　vice　should　be　far　from　us；　for　it
is　unworthy　of　a　free…born　man；　to　say　nothing　of　a　friend。　It　is　one
thing　to　live　with　a　tyrant；　another　with　a　friend。　But　if　a　man's　ears
are　so　closed　to　plain　speaking　that　be　cannot　hear　to　hear　the　truth
from　a　friend；　we　may　give　him　〃p　in　despair。　This　remark　of
Cato's；　as　so　many　of　his　did；　shews　great　acuteness：　〃There　are
people　who　owe　more　to　bitter　enemies　than　to　apparently　pleasant
friends：　the　former　often　speak　the　truth；　the　latter　never。〃　Besides；
it　is　a　strange　paradox　that　the　recipients　of　advice　should　feel　no
annoyance　where　they　ought　to　feel　it；　and　yet　feel　so　much　where
they　ought　not。　They　are　not　at　all　vexed　at　having　committed　a
fault；　but　very　angry　at　being　reproved　for　it。　　On　the　contrary；　they
ought　to　be　grieved　at　the　crime　and　glad　of　the　correction。

25。　Well；　then；　if　it　is　true　that　to　give　and　receive　advice
…the　former　with　freedom　and　yet　without　bitterness；　the　latter　with
patience　and　without　irritation…is　peculiarly　appropriate　to　genuine
friendship；　it　is　no　less　true　that　there　can　be　nothing　more　utterly
subversive　of　friendship　than　flattery；　adulation；　and　base
compliance。　　I　use　as　many　terms　as　possible　to　brand　this　vice　of
light…minded；　untrustworthy　men；　whose　sole　object　in　speaking　is
to　please　with…out　any　regard　to　truth。　In　everything　false　pretence
is　bad。　for　it　suspends　and　vitiates　our　power　of　discerning　the
truth。　But　to　nothing　it　is　so　hostile　as　to　friendship；　for　it　destroys
that　frankness　without　which　friendship　is　an　empty　name。　For　the
essence　of　friendship　being　that　two　minds　become　as　one；　how
can　that　ever　take　place　if　the　mind　of　each　of　the　separate　parties
to　it　is　not　single　and　uniform；　but　variable；　changeable；　and
complex？　　Can　anything　be　so　pliable；　so　wavering；　as　the　mind　of
a　man　whose　attitude　depends　not　only　on　another's　feeling　and
wish；　but　on　his　very　looks　and　nods？

If　one　says　〃No；〃　I　answer　〃No〃　；　if　〃Yes；〃　I　answer　〃Yes。〃
In　fine；　I've　laid　this　task　upon　myself
To　echo　all　that's　said…

to　quote　my　old　friend　Terence　again。　　But　he　puts　these　words
into　the　mouth　of　a　Gnatho。　　To　admit　such　a　man　into　one's
intimacy　at　all　is　a　sign　of　folly。　　But　there　are　many　people　like
Gnatho；　and　it　is　when　they　are　superior　either　in　position　or
fortune　or　reputation　that　their　flatteries　become　mischievous；　the
weight　of　their　position　making　up　for　the　lightness　of　their
character。　　But　if　we　only　take　reasonable　care；　it　is　as　easy　to
separate　and　distinguish　a　genuine　from　a　specious　friend　as
anything　else　that　is　coloured　and　artificial　from　what　is　sincere
and　genuine。　A　public　assembly；　though　composed　of　men　of　the
smallest　possible　culture；　nevertheless　will　see　clearly　the
difference　between　a　mere　demagogue　（that　is；　a　flatterer　and
untrustworthy　citizen）　and　a　man　of　principle；　standing；　and
solidity。　It　was　by　this　kind　of　flattering　language　that　Gaius
Papirius　the　other　day　endeavoured　to　tickle　the　ears　of　the
assembled　people；　when　proposing　his　law　to　make　the　tribunes
re…eligible。　　I　spoke　against　it。　　But　I　will　leave　the　personal
question。　　I　prefer　speaking　of　Scipio。　　Good　heavens！　how
impressive　his　speech　was；　what　a　majesty　there　was　in　it！　　You
would　have　pronounced　him；　without　hesitation；　to　be　no　mere
henchman　of　the　Roman　people；　but　their　leader。　However；　you
were　there；　and　moreover　have　the　speech　in　your　hands。　　The
result　was　that　a　law　meant　to　please　the　people　was　by　the
people's　votes　rejected。　　Once　more　to　refer　to　myself；　you
remember　how　apparently　popular　was　the　law　proposed　by　Gaius
Licinius　Crassus　〃about　the　election　to　the　College　of　Priests〃　in
the　consulship　of　Quintus　Maximus；　Scipio's　brother；　and　Lucius
Mancinus。　　For　the　power　of　filling　up　their　own　vacancies　on　the
part　of　the　colleges　was　by　this　proposal　to　be　transferred　to　the
people。　It　was　this　man；　by　the　way；　who　began　the　practice　of
twrning　towards　the　forum　when　addressing　the　people。　　In　spite　of
this；　however；　upon　my　speaking　on　the　conservative　side；　religion
gained　an　easy　victory　over　his
plausible　speech。　This　took　place　in　my　praetorship；　five　years
before　I　was　elected　consul；　which　shows　that　the　cause　was
successfully　maintained　more　by　the　merits　of　the　case　than　by　the
prestige　of　the　highest　office。

26。　Now；　if　on　a　stage；　such　as　a　public　assembly　essentially　is；
where　there　is　the　amplest　room　for　fiction　and　half…truths；　truth
nevertheless　prevails　if　it　be　but　fairly　laid　open　and　brought　into
the　light　of　day；　what　ought　to　happen　in　the　case　of　friendship；
which　rests　entirely　on　truthfulness？　Friendship；　in　which；　unless
you　both　see　and　show　an　open　breast；　to　use　a　common
expression；　you　can　neither　trust　nor　be　certain　of　anything…no；　not
even　of　mutual　affection；　since　you　cannot　be　sure　of　its　sincerity。　
However；　this　flattery；　injurious　as　it　is；　can　hurt　no　one　but　the
man　who　takes　it　in　and　likes　it。　And　it　follows　that　the　man　to
open　his　ears　widest　to　flatterers　is　he　who　first　flatters　himself　and
is　fondest　of　himself。　　I　grant　you　that　Virtue　naturally　loves
herself；　for　she　knows　herself　and　perceives　how　worthy　of　love
she　is。　But　I　am　not　now　speaking　of　absolute　virtue；　but　of　the
belief　men　have　that　they　possess　virtue。　The　fact　is　that　fewer
people　are　endowed　with　virtue　than　wish　to　be　thought　to　be　so。　It
is　such　people　that　take　delight　in　flattery。　　When　they　are
addressed　in　language　expressly　adapted　to　flatter　their　vanity；　they
look　upon　such　empty　persiflage　as　a　testimony　to　the　truth　of　their
own　praises。　　It　is　not　then　properly　friendship　at　all　when　the　one
will　not　listen　to　the　truth；　and　the　other　is　prepared　to　lie。　Nor
would　the　servility　of　parasites　in　comedy　have　seemed　humorous
to　us　had　there　been　no　such　things　as　braggart　captains。　〃Is
Thais　really　much　obliged　to　me？〃　　It　would　have　been　quite
enough　to　answer　〃Much；〃　but　he　must　needs　say　〃Immensely。〃　
Your　servile　flatterer　always　exaggerates　what　his　victim　wishes　to
be　put　strongly。　　Wherefore；　though　it　is　with　those　who　catch　at
and　invite　it　that　this　flattering　falsehood　is　especially　powerful；
yet　men　even　of　solider　and　steadier　character　must　be　warned　tn
be　on　the　watch　against　being　taken　in　by　cunningly　disguised
flattery。　An　open　flatterer　any　one　can　detect；　unless　he　is　an
absolute　fool　the　covert　insinuation　of　the　cunning　and　the　sly　is
what　we　have　to　be　studiously　on　our　guard　against。　　His　detection
is　not　by　any　means　the　easiest　thing　in　the　world；　for　he　often
covers　his　servility　under　the　guise　of　contradiction；　and　flatters　by
pretending　to　dispute；　and　then　at　last　giving　in　and　allowing
himself　to　be　beaten；　that　the　person　hoodwinked　may　think
himself　to　have　been　the　clearer…sighted。　Now　what　can　be　more
degrading　than　to　be　thus　hoodwinked？　You　must　be　on　your　guard
against　this　happening　to　you；　like　the　man　in　the　_Heiress_：

How　have　I　been　befooled！　no　drivelling　dotards　
On　any　stage　were　e'er　so　p1ayed　upon。

For　even　on　the　stage　we　have　no　grosser　representation　of　folly
than　that　of　short…sighted　and　credulous　old　men。　But　somehow　or
other　I　have　strayed　away　from　the　friendship　of　the　perfect；　that　is
of　the　〃wise〃　（meaning；　of　course；　such　〃wisdom〃　as　human　nature
is　capable　of）；　to　the　subject　of　vulgar；　unsubstantial　friendships。　
Let　us　then　return　to　our　original　theme；　and　at　length　bring　that；
too；　to　a　conclusion。

27。　Well；　then；　Fannius　and　Mucius；　I　repeat　what　I　said　before。　　It
is　virtue；　virtue；　which　both　creates　and　preserves　friendship。　　On　it
depends　harmony　of　interest；　permanence；　fidelity。　　When　Virtue
has　reared　her　head　and　shewn　the　light　of　her　countenance；　and
seen　and　recognised　the　same　light　in　another；　she　gravitates
towards　it；　and　in　her　turn　welcomes　that　which　the　other　has　to
shew；　and　from　it　springs　up　a　flame　which　you　may　call　love　or
friendship　as　you　please。　　Both　words　are　f