the new machiavelli-第71章

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public　sense　was　sheer　waste；the　loss　of　a　man。　　She　knew　she　was　

behaving　badly；　and　so；　when　it　came　to　remonstrance；　she　behaved　

worse。　　She'd　got　names　and　dates　and　places；　the　efficiency　of　her　

information　was　irresistible。　　And　she　set　to　work　at　it　

marvellously。　　Never　before；　in　all　her　pursuit　of　efficient　ideals；　

had　Altiora　achieved　such　levels　of　efficiency。　　I　wrote　a　protest　

that　was　perhaps　ill…advised　and　angry；　I　went　to　her　and　tried　to　

stop　her。　　She　wouldn't　listen；　she　wouldn't　think；　she　denied　and　

lied；　she　behaved　like　a　naughty　child　of　six　years　old　which　has　

made　up　its　mind　to　be　hurtful。　　It　wasn't　only；　I　think；　that　she　

couldn't　bear　our　political　and　social　influence；　she　alsoI　

realised　at　that　interview　couldn't　bear　our　loving。　　It　seemed　to　

her　the　sickliest　thing；a　thing　quite　unendurable。　　While　such　

things　were；　the　virtue　had　gone　out　of　her　world。



I've　the　vividest　memory　of　that　call　of　mine。　　She'd　just　come　in　

and　taken　off　her　hat；　and　she　was　grey　and　dishevelled　and　tired；　

and　in　a　business…like　dress　of　black　and　crimson　that　didn't　suit　

her　and　was　muddy　about　the　skirts；　she'd　a　cold　in　her　head　and　

sniffed　penetratingly；　she　avoided　my　eye　as　she　talked　and　

interrupted　everything　I　had　to　say；　she　kept　stabbing　fiercely　at　

the　cushions　of　her　sofa　with　a　long　hat…pin　and　pretending　she　was　

overwhelmed　with　grief　at　the　DEBACLE　she　was　deliberately　

organising。



〃Then　part；〃　she　cried；　〃part。　　If　you　don't　want　a　smashing　up；

part！　　You　two　have　got　to　be　parted。　　You've　got　never　to　see　each　

other　ever；　never　to　speak。〃　　There　was　a　zest　in　her　voice。　　〃We're　

not　circulating　stories；〃　she　denied。　　〃No！　　And　Curmain　never　told　

us　anythingCurmain　is　an　EXCELLENT　young　man；　oh！　a　quite　

excellent　young　man。　　You　misjudged　him　altogether。〃　。　。　。



I　was　equally　unsuccessful　with　Bailey。　　I　caught　the　little　wretch　

in　the　League　Club；　and　he　wriggled　and　lied。　　He　wouldn't　say　where　

he　had　got　his　facts；　he　wouldn't　admit　he　had　told　any　one。　　When　I　

gave　him　the　names　of　two　men　who　had　come　to　me　astonished　and　

incredulous；　he　attempted　absurdly　to　make　me　think　they　had　told　

HIM。　　He　did　his　horrible　little　best　to　suggest　that　honest　old　

Quackett；　who　had　just　left　England　for　the　Cape；　was　the　real　

scandalmonger。　　That　struck　me　as　mean；　even　for　Bailey。　　I've　still　

the　odd　vivid　impression　of　his　fluting　voice；　excusing　the　

inexcusable；　his　big；　shifty　face　evading　me；　his　perspiration…

beaded　forehead；　the　shrugging　shoulders；　and　the　would…be　

exculpatory　gesturesHoundsditch　gesturesof　his　enormous　ugly　

hands。



〃I　can　assure　you；　my　dear　fellow；〃　he　said；　〃I　can　assure　you　we've　

done　everything　to　shield　youeverything。〃　。　。　。







3





Isabel　came　after　dinner　one　evening　and　talked　in　the　office。　　She　

made　a　white…robed；　dusky　figure　against　the　deep　blues　of　my　big　

window。　　I　sat　at　my　desk　and　tore　a　quill　pen　to　pieces　as　I　

talked。



〃The　Baileys　don't　intend　to　let　this　drop；〃　I　said。　　〃They　mean　

that　every　one　in　London　is　to　know　about　it。〃



〃I　know。〃



〃Well！〃　I　said。



〃Dear　heart；〃　said　Isabel；　facing　it；　〃it's　no　good　waiting　for　

things　to　overtake　us；　we're　at　the　parting　of　the　ways。〃



〃What　are　we　to　do？〃



〃They　won't　let　us　go　on。〃



〃Damn　them！〃



〃They　are　ORGANISING　scandal。〃



〃It's　no　good　waiting　for　things　to　overtake　us；〃　I　echoed；　〃they　

have　overtaken　us。〃　　I　turned　on　her。　　〃What　do　you　want　to　do？〃



〃Everything；〃　she　said。　　〃Keep　you　and　have　our　work。　　Aren't　we　

Mates？〃



〃We　can't。〃



〃And　we　can't！〃



〃I've　got　to　tell　Margaret；〃　I　said。



〃Margaret！〃



〃I　can't　bear　the　idea　of　any　one　else　getting　in　front　with　it。　　

I've　been　wincing　about　Margaret　secretly〃



〃I　know。　　You'll　have　to　tell　herand　make　your　peace　with　her。〃



She　leant　back　against　the　bookcases　under　the　window。



〃We've　had　some　good　times；　Master；〃　she　said；　with　a　sigh　in　her　

voice。



And　then　for　a　long　time　we　stared　at　one　another　in　silence。



〃We　haven't　much　time　left；〃　she　said。



〃Shall　we　bolt？〃　I　said。



〃And　leave　all　this？〃　she　asked；　with　her　eyes　going　round　the　room。　　

〃And　that？〃　　And　her　head　indicated　Westminster。　　〃No！〃



I　said　no　more　of　bolting。



〃We've　got　to　screw　ourselves　up　to　surrender；〃　she　said。



〃Something。〃



〃A　lot。〃



〃Master；〃　she　said；　〃it　isn't　all　sex　and　stuff　between　us？〃



〃No！〃



〃I　can't　give　up　the　work。　　Our　work's　my　life。〃



We　came　upon　another　long　pause。



〃No　one　will　believe　we've　ceased　to　be　loversif　we　simply　do；〃　

she　said。



〃We　shouldn't。〃



〃We've　got　to　do　something　more　parting　than　that。〃



I　nodded；　and　again　we　paused。　　She　was　coming　to　something。



〃I　could　marry　Shoesmith；〃　she　said　abruptly。



〃But〃　I　objected。



〃He　knows。　　It　wasn't　fair。　　I　told　him。〃



〃Oh；　that　explains；〃　I　said。　　〃There's　been　a　kind　of　sulkiness

Butyou　told　him？〃



She　nodded。　　〃He's　rather　badly　hurt；〃　she　said。　　〃He's　been　a　good　

friend　to　me。　　He's　curiously　loyal。　　But　something；　something　he　

said　one　dayforced　me　to　let　him　know。　。　。　。　　That's　been　the　

beastliness　of　all　this　secrecy。　　That's　the　beastliness　of　all　

secrecy。　　You　have　to　spring　surprises　on　people。　　But　he　keeps　on。　　

He's　steadfast。　　He'd　already　suspected。　　He　wants　me　very　badly　to　

marry　him。　。　。　。〃



〃But　you　don't　want　to　marry　him？〃



〃I'm　forced　to　think　of　it。〃



〃But　does　he　want　to　marry　you　at　that？　　Take　you　as　a　present　from　

the　world　at　large？against　your　will　and　desire？　。　。　。　　I　don't　

understand　him。〃



〃He　cares　for　me。〃



〃How？〃



〃He　thinks　this　is　a　fearful　mess　for　me。　　He　wants　to　pull　it　

straight。〃



We　sat　for　a　time　in　silence；　with　imaginations　that　obstinately　

refused　to　take　up　the　realities　of　this　proposition。



〃I　don't　want　you　to　marry　Shoesmith；〃　I　said　at　last。



〃Don't　you　like　him？〃



〃Not　as　your　husband。〃



〃He's　a　very　clever　and　sturdy　personand　very　generous　and　devoted　

to　me。〃



〃And　me？〃



〃You　can't　expect　that。　　He　thinks　you　are　wonderfuland；　

naturally；　that　you　ought　not　to　have　started　this。〃



〃I've　a　curious　dislike　to　any　one　thinking　that　but　myself。　　I'm　

quite　ready　to　think　it　myself。〃



〃He'd　let　us　be　friendsand　meet。〃



〃Let　us　be　friends！〃　I　cried；　after　a　long　pause。　　〃You　and　me！〃



〃He　wants　me　to　be　engaged　soon。　　Then；　he　says；　he　can　go　round　

fighting　these　rumours；　defending　us　bothand　force　a　quarrel　on　

the　Baileys。〃



〃I　don't　understand　him；〃　I　said；　and　added；　〃I　don't　understand　

you。〃



I　was　staring　at　her　face。　　It　seemed　white　and　set　in　the　dimness。



〃Do　you　really　mean　this；　Isabel？〃　I　asked。



〃What　else　is　there　to　do；　my　dear？what　else　is　there　to　do　at　

all？　　I've　been　thinking　day　and　night。　　You　can't　go　away　with　me。　　

You　can't　smash　yourself　suddenly　in　the　sight　of　all　men。　　I'd　

rather　die　than　that　should　happen。　　Look　what　you　are　becoming　in　

the　country！　　Look　at　all　you've　built　up！me　helping。　　I　wouldn't　

let　you　do　it　if　you　could。　　I　wouldn't　let　youif　it　were　only　for　

Margaret's　sake。　　THIS　。　。　。　closes　the　scandal；　closes　everything。〃



〃It　closes　all　our　life　together；〃　I　cried。



She　was　silent。



〃It　never　ought　to　have　begun；〃　I　said。



She　winced。　　Then　abruptly　she　was　on　her　knees　before　me；　with　her　

hands　upon　my　shoulder　and　her　eyes　meeting　mine。



〃My　dear；〃　she　said　very　earnestly；　〃don't　misunderstand　me！　　Don't　

think　I'm　retreating　from　the　things　we've　done！　　Our　love　is　the　

best　thing　I　could　ever　have　had　from　life。　　Nothing　can　ever　equal　

it；　nothing　could　ever　equal　the　beauty　and　delight　you　and　I　have　

had　together。　　Never！　　You　have　loved　me；　you　do　love　me。　。　。　。



No　one　could　ever　know　how　to　love　you　as　I　have　loved　you；　no　one　

could　ever　love　me　as　you　have　loved　me；　my　king。　　And　it's　just　

because　it's　been　so　splendid；　dear；　it's　just　because　I'd　die　

rather　than　have　a　tithe　of　all　this　wiped　out　of　my　life　againfor　

it's　made　me；　it's　all　I　amdear；　it's　years　since　I　began　loving　

youit's　just　because　of　its　goodness　that　I　want　not　to　end　in　

wreckage　now；　not　to　end　in　the　smashing　up　of　all　the　big　things　I　

understand　in　you　and　love　in　you。　。　。　。



〃What　is　there　for　us　if　we　keep　on　and　go　away？〃　she　went　on。　　〃All　

the　big　interests　in　our　lives　will　vanisheverything。　　We　shall　

become　specialised　peoplepeople　overshadowed　by　a　situation。　　We　

shall　be　an　elopement；　a　romanceall　our　breadth　and　meaning　gone！　　

People　will　always　think　of　it　first　when　they　think　of　us；　all　our　

work　and　aims　will　be　warped　by　it　and　subordinated　to　it。　　Is　it　

good　enough；　dear？　　Just　to　specialise。　。　。　。　　I　think　of　you。　　

We've　got　a　case；　a　passionate　case；　the　best　of　cases；　but　do　we　

want　to　spend　all　our　lives　defending　it　and　justifying　it？　　And　

there's　that　other　life。　　I　know　now　you　care　for　Margaretyou　care　

more　than　you　think　you　do。　　You　have　said　fine　things　of　her。　　I've　

watched　you　about　her。　　Little　things　have　dropped　from　you。　　She's　

given　her　life　for　you；　she's　nothing　without　you。　　You　feel　that　to　

your　marrow　all　the　time　you　are　thinking　about　these　things。　　Oh；　

I'm　not　jealous；　dear。　　I　love　you　for　loving　her。　　I　love　you　in　

relation　to　her。　　But　there　it　is；　an　added　weight　against　us；　

another　thing　worth　saving。〃



Presently；　I　remember；　she　sat　back　on　her　heels　and　looked　up　into　

my　face。　　〃We've　done　wrongand　parting's　paying。　　It's　time　to　

pay。　　We　needn't　have　paid；　if　we'd　kept　to　the　track。　。　。　。　　You　

and　I；　Master；　we've　got　to　be　men。〃



〃Yes；〃　I　said；　〃we've　got　to　be　men。〃







4





I　was　driven　to　tell　Margaret　about　our　situation　by　my　intolerable　

dread　that　otherwise　the　thing　might　come　to　her　through　some　stupid　

and　clumsy　informant。　　She　might　even　meet　Altiora；　and　have　it　from　

her。



I　can　still　recall　the　feeling　of　sitting　at　my　desk　that　night　in　

that　large　study　of　mine　in　Radnor　Square；　waiting　for　Margaret　to　

come　home。　　It　was　oddly　like　the　feeling　of　a　dentist's　reception…

room；　only　it　was　for　me　to　do　the　dentistry　with　clumsy；　cruel　

hands。　　I　had　left　the　door　open　so　that　she　would　come　in　to　me。



I　heard　her　silken　rustle　on　the　stairs　at　last；　and　then　she　was　in　

the　doorway。　　〃May　I　come　in？〃　she　said。



〃Do；〃　I　said；　and　turned　round　to　her。



〃Working？〃　she　said。



〃Hard；〃　I　answered。　　〃Where　have　YOU　been？〃



〃At　the　Vallerys'。　　Mr。　Evesham　was　talking　about　you。　　They　were　

all　talking。　　I　don't　think　everybody　knew　who　I　was。　　Just　Mrs。　

Mumble　I'd　been　to　them。　　Lord　Wardenham　doesn't　like　you。〃



〃He　doesn't。〃



〃But　they　all　feel　you