the professor at the breakfast table-第2章

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water；　it　exposes　an　immense　head；　a　diminutive　bony　carcass；　and　a

surface　so　full　of　spines；　ridges；　ruffles；　and　frills；　that　the

naturalists　have　not　been　able　to　count　them　without　quarrelling

about　the　number；　and　that　the　colored　youth；　whose　sport　they　spoil；

do　not　like　to　touch　them；　and　especially　to　tread　on　them；　unless

they　happen　to　have　shoes　on；　to　cover　the　thick　white　soles　of　their

broad　black　feet。



When；　therefore；　I　heard　the　young　fellow's　exclamation；　I　looked

round　the　table　with　curiosity　to　see　what　it　meant。　　At　the　further

end　of　it　I　saw　a　head；　and　aa　small　portion　of　a　little　deformed

body；　mounted　on　a　high　chair；　which　brought　the　occupant　up　to　a

fair　level　enough　for　him　to　get　at　his　food。　　His　whole　appearance

was　so　grotesque；　I　felt　for　a　minute　as　if　there　was　a　showman

behind　him　who　would　pull　him　down　presently　and　put　up　Judy；　or　the

hangman；　or　the　Devil；　or　some　other　wooden　personage　of　the　famous

spectacle。　　I　contrived　to　lose　the　first　of　his　sentence；　but　what　I

heard　began　so：



by　the　Frog…Pond；　when　there　were　frogs　in　and　the　folks　used　to

come　down　from　the　tents　on　section　and　Independence　days　with　their

pails　to　get　water　to　make　egg…pop　with。　　Born　in　Boston；　went　to

school　in　Boston　as　long　as　the　boys　would　let　me。　The　little　man

groaned；　turned；　as　if　to　look　around；　and　went　on。　Ran　away　from

school　one　day　to　see　Phillips　hung　for　killing　Denegri　with　a

logger…head。　　That　was　in　flip　days；　when　there　were　always　two　three

loggerheads　in　the　fire。　　I'm　a　Boston　boy；　I　tell　you；born　at

North　End；　and　mean　to　be　buried　on　Copp's　Hill；　with　the　good　old

underground　people；the　Worthylakes；　and　the　rest　of　'em。　　Yes；up

on　the　old　hill；　where　they　buried　Captain　Daniel　Malcolm　in　a　stone

grave；　ten　feet　deep；　to　keep　him　safe　from　the　red…coats；　in　those

old　times　when　the　world　was　frozen　up　tight　and　there　was　n't　but

one　spot　open；　and　that　was　right　over　Faneuil　all；and　black　enough

it　looked；　I　tell　you！　　There　's　where　my　bones　shall　lie；　Sir；　and

rattle　away　when　the　big　guns　go　off　at　the　Navy　Yard　opposite！　　You

can't　make　me　ashamed　of　the　old　place！　　Full　crooked　little

streets；I　was　born　and　used　to　run　round　in　one　of　'em



I　should　think　so；said　that　young　man　whom　I　hear　them　call

〃John；〃softly；　not　meaning　to　be　heard；　nor　to　be　cruel；　but

thinking　in　a　half…whisper；　evidently。　I　should　think　so；　and　got

kinked　up；　turnin'　so　many　corners。　The　little　man　did　not　hear

what　was　said；　but　went　on；



full　of　crooked　little　streets；　but　I　tell　you　Boston　has　opened；

and　kept　open；　more　turnpikes　that　lead　straight　to　free　thought　and

free　speech　and　free　deeds　than　any　other　city　of　live　men　or　dead

men；I　don't　care　how　broad　their　streets　are；　nor　how　high　their

steeples！



How　high　is　Bosting　meet'n'…house？said　a　person　with　black

whiskers　and　imperial；　a　velvet　waistcoat；　a　guard…chain　rather　too

massive；　and　a　diamond　pin　so　very　large　that　the　most　trusting

nature　might　confess　an　inward　suggestion；of　course；　nothing

amounting　to　a　suspicion。　　For　this　is　a　gentleman　from　a　great　city；

and　sits　next　to　the　landlady's　daughter；　who　evidently　believes　in

him；　and　is　the　object　of　his　especial　attention。



How　high？said　the　little　man。　As　high　as　the　first　step　of　the

stairs　that　lead　to　the　New　Jerusalem。　　Is　n't　that　high　enough？



It　is；I　said。　The　great　end　of　being　is　to　harmonize　man　with　the

order　of　things；　and　the　church　has　been　a　good　pitch…pipe；　and　may

be　so　still。　　But　who　shall　tune　the　pitch…pipe？　　Quis　cus…（On　the

whole；　as　this　quotation　was　not　entirely　new；　and；　being　in　a

foreign　language；　might　not　be　familiar　to　all　the　boarders；　I

thought　I　would　not　finish　it。）



Go　to　the　Bible！　said　a　sharp　voice　from　a　sharp…faced；　sharp…

eyed；　sharp…elbowed；　strenuous…looking　woman　in　a　black　dress；

appearing　as　if　it　began　as　a　piece　of　mourning　and　perpetuated

itself　as　a　bit　of　economy。



You　speak　well；　Madam；I　said；yet　there　is　room　for　a　gloss　or

commentary　on　what　you　say。　　〃He　who　would　bring　back　the　wealth　of

the　Indies　must　carry　out　the　wealth　of　the　Indies。〃　　What　you　bring

away　from　the　Bible　depends　to　some　extent　on　what　you　carry　to　it。…

Benjamin　Franklin！　　Be　so　good　as　to　step　up　to　my　chamber　and　bring

me　down　the　small　uncovered　pamphlet　of　twenty　pages　which　you　will

find　lying　under　the　〃Cruden's　Concordance。〃　＇The　boy　took　a　large

bite；　which　left　a　very　perfect　crescent　in　the　slice　of　bread…and…

butter　he　held；　and　departed　on　his　errand；　with　the　portable

fraction　of　his　breakfast　to　sustain　him　on　the　way。＇



Here　it　is。　　〃Go　to　the　Bible。　　A　Dissertation；　；etc。；　etc。　　By　J。

J。　Flournoy。　　Athens；　Georgia；　1858。〃



Mr。　Flournoy；　Madam；　has　obeyed　the　precept　which　you　have

judiciously　delivered。　　You　may　be　interested；　Madam；　to　know　what

are　the　conclusions　at　which　Mr。　J。　J。　Flournoy　of　Athens；　Georgia；

has　arrived。　　You　shall　hear；　Madam。　　He　has　gone　to　the　Bible；　and

he　has　come　back　from　the　Bible；　bringing　a　remedy　for　existing

social　evils；　which；　if　it　is　the　real　specific；　as　it　professes　to

be；　is　of　great　interest　to　humanity；　and　to　the　female　part　of

humanity　in　particular。　　It　is　what　he　calls　TRIGAMY；　Madam；　or　the

marrying　of　three　wives；　so　that　〃good　old　men〃　may　be　solaced　at

once　by　the　companionship　of　the　wisdom　of　maturity；　and　of　those

less　perfected　but　hardly　less　engaging　qualities　which　are　found　at

an　earlier　period　of　life。　　He　has　followed　your　precept；　Madam；　I

hope　you　accept　his　conclusions。



The　female　boarder　in　black　attire　looked　so　puzzled；　and；　in　fact；

〃all　abroad；〃　after　the　delivery　of　this　〃counter〃　of　mine；　that　I

left　her　to　recover　her　wits；　and　went　on　with　the　conversation；

which　I　was　beginning　to　get　pretty　well　in　hand。



But　in　the　mean　time　I　kept　my　eye　on　the　female　boarder　to　see　what

effect　I　had　produced。　　First；　she　was　a　little　stunned　at　having　her

argument　knocked　over。　　Secondly；　she　was　a　little　shocked　at　the

tremendous　character　of　the　triple　matrimonial　suggestion。　　Thirdly。

I　don't　like　to　say　what　I　thought。　　Something　seemed　to　have

pleased　her　fancy。　　Whether　it　was；　that；　if　trigamy　should　come　into

fashion；　there　would　be　three　times　as　many　chances　to　enjoy　the

luxury　of　saying；　〃No！〃　is　more　than　I；　can　tell　you。　　I　may　as　well

mention　that　B。　F。　came　to　me　after　breakfast　to　borrow　the　pamphlet

for　〃a　lady；〃one　of　the　boarders；　he　said；looking　as　if　he　had　a

secret　he　wished　to　be　relieved　of。



I　continued。　If　a　human　soul　is　necessarily　to　be　trained　up　in

the　faith　of　those　from　whom　it　inherits　its　body；　why；　there　is　the

end　of　all　reason。　　If；　sooner　or　later；　every　soul　is　to　look　for

truth　with　its　own　eyes；　the　first　thing　is　to　recognize　that　no

presumption　in　favor　of　any　particular　belief　arises　from　the　fact　of

our　inheriting　it。　　Otherwise　you　would　not　give　the　Mahometan　a　fair

chance　to　become　a　convert　to　a　better　religion。



The　second　thing　would　be　to　depolarize　every　fixed　religious　idea　in

the　mind　by　changing　the　word　which　stands　for　it。



I　don't　know　what　you　mean　by　〃depolarizing〃　an　idea；said　the

divinity…student。



I　will　tell　you；I　said。　…When　a　given　symbol　which　represents　a

thought　has　lain　for　a　certain　length　of　time　in　the　mind；　it

undergoes　a　change　like　that　which　rest　in　a　certain　position　gives

to　iron。　　It　becomes　magnetic　in　its　relations；it　is　traversed　by

strange　forces　which　did　not　belong　to　it。　　The　word；　and

consequently　the　idea　it　represents；　is　polarized。



The　religious　currency　of　mankind；　in　thought；　in　speech；　and　in

print；　consists　entirely　of　polarized　words。　　Borrow　one　of　these

from　another　language　and　religion；　and　you　will　find　it　leaves　all

its　magnetism　behind　it。　　Take　that　famous　word；　O'm；　of　the　Hindoo

mythology。　　Even　a　priest　cannot　pronounce　it　without　sin；　and　a　holy

Pundit　would　shut　his　ears　and　run　away　from　you　in　horror；　if　you

should　say　it　aloud。　　What　do　you　care　for　O'm？　　If　you　wanted　to　get

the　Pundit　to　look　at　his　religion　fairly；　you　must　first　depolarize

this　and　all　similar　words　for　him。　　The　argument　for　and　against　new

translations　of　the　Bible　really　turns　on　this。　　Skepticism　is　afraid

to　trust　its　truths　in　depolarized　words；　and　so　cries　out　against　a

new　translation。　　I　think；　myself；　if　every　idea　our　Book　contains

could　be　shelled　out　of　its　old　symbol　and　put　into　a　new；　clean；

unmagnetic　word；　we　should　have　some　chance　of　reading　it　as

philosophers；　or　wisdom…lovers；　ought　to　read　it；which　we　do　not

and　cannot　now　any　more　than　a　Hindoo　can　read　the　〃Gayatri〃　as　a

fair　man　and　lover　of　truth　should　do。　　When　society　has　once　fairly

dissolved　the　New　Testament；　which　it　never　has　done　yet；　it　will

perhaps　crystallize　it　over　again　in　new　forms　of　language。



I　did　n't　know　you　was　a　settled　minister　over　this　parish；said　the

young　fellow　near　me。



A　sermon　by　a　lay…preacher　may　be　worth　listeningI　replied；　calmly。

It　gives　the　parallax　of　thought　and　feeling　as　they　appear　to　the

observers　from　two　very　different　points　of　view。　　If　you　wish　to　get

the　distance　of　a　heavenly　body；　you　know　that　you　must　take　two

observations　from　remote　points　of　the　earth's　orbit；in　midsummer

and　midwinter；　for　instance。　　To　get　the　parallax　of　heavenly　truths；

you　must　take　an　observation　from　the　position　of　the　laity　as　well

as　of　the　clergy。　　Teachers　and　students　of　theology　get　a　certain

look；　certain　conventional　tones　of　voice；　a　clerical　gait；　a

professional　neckcloth；　and　habits　of　mind　as　professional　as　their

externals。　　They　are　scholarly　men　and　read　Bacon；　and　know　well

enough　what　the　〃idols　of　the　tribe〃　are。　　Of　course　they　have　their

false　gods；　as　all　men　that　follow　one　exclusive　calling　are　prone　to

do。　The　clergy　have　played　the　part　of　the　flywheel　in　our　modern

civilization。　　They　have　never　suffered　it　to　stop。　　They　have　often

carried　on　its　movement；　when　other　moving　powers　failed；　by　the

momentum　stored　in　their　vast　body。　　Sometimes；　too；　they　have　kept

it　back　by　their　vis　inertia；　when　its　wheels　were　like　to　grind　the

bones　of　some　old　canonized　error　into　fertilizers　for　the　soil　that

yields　the　bread　of　life。　　But　the　mainspring　of　the　world's　onward

religious　movement　is　not　in　them；　nor　in　any　one　body　of　men；　let　me

tell　you。　　It　is　the　people　that　makes　the　clergy；　and　not　the　clergy

that　makes　the　people。　　Of　course；　the　profession　reacts　on　its

source　with　variable　energy。　But　there　never　was　a　guild　of　dealers

or　a　company　of　craftsmen　that　did　not　need　sharp　looking　after。



Our　old　friend；　Dr。　Holyoke；　whom　we　gave　the　dinner　to　some　time

since；　must　have　known　many　people　that　saw　the　great　bonfire　in

Harvard　College　yard。



Bonfire？shrieked　the　little　man。　The　bonfire　when　Robert