a treatise on parents and children(父母与子女专题研究)-第2章
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keep their children at home instead of paying schoolmasters to take them
off their hands。
It appears then that the bond of affection between parents and children
does not save children from the slavery that denial of rights involves in
adult political relations。 It sometimes intensifies it； sometimes mitigates
it； but on the whole children and parents confront one another as two
classes in which all the political power is on one side； and the results are
not at all unlike what they would be if there were no immediate
consanguinity between them； and one were white and the other black； or
one enfranchised and the other disenfranchised； or one ranked as gentle
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A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
and the other simple。 Not that Nature counts for nothing in the case and
political rights for everything。 But a denial of political rights； and the
resultant delivery of one class into the mastery of another； affects their
relations so extensively and profoundly that it is impossible to ascertain
what the real natural relations of the two classes are until this political
relation is abolished。
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A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
What is a Child？
An experiment。 A fresh attempt to produce the just man made perfect：
that is； to make humanity divine。 And you will vitiate the experiment if
you make the slightest attempt to abort it into some fancy figure of your
own： for example； your notion of a good man or a womanly woman。 If
you treat it as a little wild beast to be tamed； or as a pet to be played with；
or even as a means to save you trouble and to make money for you （and
these are our commonest ways）； it may fight its way through in spite of
you and save its soul alive； for all its instincts will resist you； and possibly
be strengthened in the resistance； but if you begin with its own holiest
aspirations； and suborn them for your own purposes； then there is hardly
any limit to the mischief you may do。 Swear at a child； throw your boots
at it； send it flying from the room with a cuff or a kick； and the experience
will be as instructive to the child as a difficulty with a short…tempered dog
or a bull。 Francis Place tells us that his father always struck his children
when he found one within his reach。 The effect on the young Places
seems to have been simply to make them keep out of their father's way；
which was no doubt what he desired； as far as he desired anything at all。
Francis records the habit without bitterness； having reason to thank his
stars that his father respected the inside of his head whilst cuffing the
outside of it； and this made it easy for Francis to do yeoman's service to
his country as that rare and admirable thing； a Freethinker： the only sort
of thinker； I may remark； whose thoughts； and consequently whose
religious convictions； command any respect。
Now Mr Place； senior； would be described by many as a bad father；
and I do not contend that he was a conspicuously good one。 But as
compared with the conventional good father who deliberately imposes
himself on his son as a god； who takes advantage of childish credulity and
parent worship to persuade his son that what he approves of is right and
what he disapproves of is wrong； who imposes a corresponding conduct
on the child by a system of prohibitions and penalties； rewards and
eulogies； for which he claims divine sanction： compared to this sort of
abortionist and monster maker； I say； Place appears almost as a Providence。
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Not that it is possible to live with children any more than with grown…up
people without imposing rules of conduct on them。 There is a point at
which every person with human nerves has to say to a child 〃Stop that
noise。〃 But suppose the child asks why！ There are various answers in use。
The simplest： 〃Because it irritates me；〃 may fail； for it may strike the
child as being rather amusing to irritate you； also the child； having
comparatively no nerves； may be unable to conceive your meaning vividly
enough。 In any case it may want to make a noise more than to spare your
feelings。 You may therefore have to explain that the effect of the irritation
will be that you will do something unpleasant if the noise continues。 The
something unpleasant may be only a look of suffering to rouse the child's
affectionate sympathy （if it has any）； or it may run to forcible expulsion
from the room with plenty of unnecessary violence； but the principle is the
same： there are no false pretences involved： the child learns in a
straightforward way that it does not pay to be inconsiderate。 Also；
perhaps； that Mamma； who made the child learn the Sermon on the Mount；
is not really a Christian。
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The Sin of Nadab and Abihu
But there is another sort of answer in wide use which is neither
straightforward； instructive； nor harmless。 In its simplest form it
substitutes for 〃Stop that noise；〃 〃Dont be naughty；〃 which means that the
child； instead of annoying you by a perfectly healthy and natural infantile
procedure； is offending God。 This is a blasphemous lie； and the fact that
it is on the lips of every nurserymaid does not excuse it in the least。
Dickens tells us of a nurserymaid who elaborated it into 〃If you do that；
angels wont never love you。〃 I remember a servant who used to tell me
that if I were not good； by which she meant if I did not behave with a
single eye to her personal convenience； the cock would come down the
chimney。 Less imaginative but equally dishonest people told me I should
go to hell if I did not make myself agreeable to them。 Bodily violence；
provided it be the hasty expression of normal provoked resentment and not
vicious cruelty； cannot harm a child as this sort of pious fraud harms it。
There is a legal limit to physical cruelty； and there are also human limits to
it。 There is an active Society which brings to book a good many parents
who starve and torture and overwork their children； and intimidates a good
many more。 When parents of this type are caught； they are treated as
criminals； and not infrequently the police have some trouble to save them
from being lynched。 The people against whom children are wholly
unprotected are those who devote themselves to the very mischievous and
cruel sort of abortion which is called bringing up a child in the way it
should go。 Now nobody knows the way a child should go。 All the ways
discovered so far lead to the horrors of our existing civilizations； described
quite justifiably by Ruskin as heaps of agonizing human maggots；
struggling with one another for scraps of food。 Pious fraud is an attempt
to pervert that precious and sacred thing the child's conscience into an
instrument of our own convenience； and to use that wonderful and terrible
power called Shame to grind our own axe。 It is the sin of stealing fire
from the altar： a sin so impudently practised by popes； parents； and
pedagogues； that one can hardly expect the nurserymaids to see any harm
in stealing a few cinders when they are worrited。
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Into the blackest depths of this violation of children's souls one can
hardly bear to look； for here we find pious fraud masking the violation of
the body by obscene cruelty。 Any parent or school teacher who takes a
secret and abominable delight in torture is allowed to lay traps into which
every child must fall； and then beat it to his or her heart's content。 A
gentleman once wrote to me and said； with an obvious conviction that he
was being most reasonable and high minded； that the only thing he beat
his children for was failure in perfect obedience and perfect truthfulness。
On these attributes； he said； he must insist。 As one of them is not a virtue
at all； and the other is the attribute of a god； one can imagine what the
lives of this gentleman's children would have been if it had been possible
for him to live down to his monstrous and foolish pretensions。 And yet
he might have written his letter to The Times （he very nearly did； by the
way） without incurring any danger of being removed to an asylum； or
even losing his reputation for taking a very proper view of his parental
duties。 And at least it was not a trivial view； nor an ill meant one。 It
was much more respectable than the general consensus of opinion that if a
school teacher can devise a question a child cannot answer； or overhear it
calling omega omeega； he or she may beat the child viciously。 Only； the
cruelty must be whitewashed by a moral excuse； and a pretence of
reluctance。 It must be for the child's good。 The assailant must say
〃This hurts me more than it hurts you。〃 There must be hypocrisy as well as
cruelty。 The injury to the child would be far less if the voluptuary said
frankly 〃I beat you because I like beating you； and I shall do it whenever I
can contrive an excuse for it。〃 But to represent this detestable lust to the
child as Divine wrath； and the cruelty as the beneficent act of God； which
is exactly what all our floggers
