worldly ways and byways(世俗之路)-第26章
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stamp themselves as belonging to an inferior class； and so interfered with
their chances of representing this country later at the Court of St。 James； or
presiding over the Senate； … positions （to judge by their criticism of the
present incumbents） they feel no doubt as to their ability to fill。
The same spirit pervades every trade。 The youth who shaves me is not
a barber； he has only accepted this position until he has time to do
something better。 The waiter who brings me my chop at a down…town
restaurant would resign his place if he were requested to shave his flowing
mustache； and is secretly studying law。 I lose all patience with my
countrymen as I think over it！ Surely we are not such a race of snobs as
not to recognize that a good barber is more to be respected than a poor
lawyer； that； as a French saying goes； IL N'Y A PAS DE SOT METIER。 It
is only the fool who is ashamed of his trade。
But enough of preaching。 I had intended … when I took up my pen to…
day … to write on quite another form of this modern folly； this eternal
struggle upward into circles for which the struggler is fitted neither by his
birth nor his education； the above was to have been but a preface to the
matter I had in mind； viz。； 〃social climbers；〃 those scourges of modern
society； the people whom no rebuffs will discourage and no cold shoulder
chill； whose efforts have done so much to make our countrymen a byword
abroad。
As many philosophers teach that trouble only is positive； happiness
being merely relative； that in any case trouble is pretty equally distributed
among the different conditions of mankind； that； excepting the destitute
and physically afflicted； all God's creatures have a share of joy in their
lives； would it not be more logical； as well as more conducive to the
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general good； if a little more were done to make the young contented with
their lot in life； instead of constantly suggesting to a race already prone to
be unsettled； that nothing short of the top is worthy of an American
citizen？
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CHAPTER 26 … The Climber
THAT form of misplaced ambition； which is the subject of the
preceding chapter； can only be regarded seriously when it occurs among
simple and sincere people； who； however derided； honestly believe that
they are doing their duty to themselves and their families when they move
heaven and earth to rise a few steps in the world。 The moment we find
ambition taking a purely social form； it becomes ridiculous。 The aim is so
paltry in comparison with the effort； and so out of proportion with the
energy…exerted to attain it； that one can only laugh and wonder！
Unfortunately； signs of this puerile spirit （peculiar to the last quarter of the
nineteenth century） can be seen on all hands and in almost every society。
That any man or woman should make it the unique aim and object of
existence to get into a certain 〃set；〃 not from any hope of profit or benefit；
nor from the belief that it is composed of brilliant and amusing people； but
simply because it passes for being exclusive and difficult of access； does
at first seem incredible。
That humble young painters or singers should long to know personally
the great lights of their professions； and should strive to be accepted
among them is easily understood； since the aspirants can reap but benefit；
present and future； from such companionship。 That a rising politician
should deem it all…important to be on friendly terms with the 〃bosses〃 is
not astonishing； for those magnates have it in their power to make or mar
his fortune。 But in a MILIEU as fluctuating as any social circle must
necessarily be； shading off on all sides and changing as constantly as light
on water； the end can never be considered as achieved or the goal attained。
Neither does any particular result accompany success； more substantial
than the moral one which lies in self…congratulation。 That； however； is
enough for a climber if she is bitten with the 〃ascending〃 madness。 （I say
〃she；〃 because this form of ambition is more frequent among women；
although by no means unknown to the sterner sex。）
It amuses me vastly to sit in my corner and watch one of these FIN…
DE…SIECLE diplomatists work out her little problem。 She generally comes
plunging into our city from outside； hot for conquest； making
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acquaintances right and left； indiscriminately； thus falling an easy prey to
the wolves that prowl around the edges of society； waiting for just such
lambs to devour。 Her first entertainments are worth attending for she has
ingeniously contrived to get together all the people she should have left
out； and failed to attract the social lights and powers of the moment。 If she
be a quick…witted lady； she soon sees the error of her ways and begins a
process of 〃weeding〃 … as difficult as it is unwise； each rejected 〃weed〃
instantly becoming an enemy for life； not to speak of the risk she； in her
ignorance； runs of mistaking for 〃detrimentals〃 the FINES FLEURS of the
worldly parterre。 Ah！ the way of the Climber is hard； she now begins to
see that her path is not strewn with flowers。
One tactful person of this kind； whose gradual 〃unfolding〃 was
watched with much amusement and wonder by her acquaintances； avoided
all these errors by going in early for a 〃dear friend。〃 Having； after mature
reflection； chosen her guide among the most exclusive of the young
matrons； she proceeded quietly to pay her court EN REGLE。 Flattering
little notes； boxes of candy； and bunches of flowers were among the forms
her devotion took。 As a natural result； these two ladies became inseparable；
and the most hermetically sealed doors opened before the new arrival。
A talent for music or acting is another aid。 A few years ago an entire
family were floated into the desired haven on the waves of the sister's
voice； and one young couple achieved success by the husband's aptitude
for games and sports。 In the latter case it was the man of the family who
did the work； dragging his wife up after him。 A polo pony is hardly one's
idea of a battle…horse； but in this case it bore its rider on to success。
Once climbers have succeeded in installing themselves in the
stronghold of their ambitions； they become more exclusive than their new
friends ever dreamed of being； and it tries one's self… restraint to hear these
new arrivals deploring 〃the levelling tendencies of the age；〃 or wondering
〃how nice people can be beginning to call on those horrid So…and…Sos。
Their father sold shoes； you know。〃 This ultra…exclusiveness is not to be
wondered at。 The only attraction the circle they have just entered has for
the climbers is its exclusiveness； and they do not intend that it shall lose its
market value in their hands。 Like Baudelaire； they believe that 〃it is only
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the small number saved that makes the charm of Paradise。〃 Having spent
hard cash in this investment； they have every intention of getting their
money's worth。
In order to give outsiders a vivid impression of the footing on which
they stand with the great of the world； all the women they have just met
become Nellys and Jennys； and all the men Dicks and Freds … behind their
backs； BIEN ENTENDU … for Mrs。 〃Newcome〃 has not yet reached that
point of intimacy which warrants using such abbreviations directly to the
owners。
Another amiable weakness common to the climber is that of knowing
everybody。 No name can be mentioned at home or abroad but Parvenu
happens to be on the most intimate terms with the owner； and when he is
conversing； great names drop out of his mouth as plentifully as did the
pearls from the pretty lips of the girl in the fairy story。 All the world knows
how such a gentleman； being asked on his return from the East if he had
seen 〃the Dardanelles；〃 answered； 〃Oh； dear； yes！ I dined with them
several times！〃 thus settling satisfactorily his standing in the Orient！
Climbing； like every other habit； soon takes possession of the whole
nature。 To abstain from it is torture。 Napoleon； we are told； found it
impossible to rest contented on his successes； but was impelled onward by
a force stronger than his volition。 In some such spirit the ambitious souls
here referred to； after 〃the Conquest of America〃 and the discovery that
the fruit of their struggles was not worth very much； victory having
brought the inevitable satiety in its wake； sail away in search of new fields
of adventure。 They have long ago left behind the friends and
acquaintances of their childhood。 Relations they apparently have none；
which accounts for the curious phenomenon that a parvenu is never in
mourning。 As no friendships bind them to their new circle； the ties are
easily loosened。 Why should they care for one city more than for another；
unless it offer more of the sport they love？ This continent has become
tame； since there is no longer any struggle； while over the sea vast hunting
grounds and game worthy of their powder； form an irresistible temptation
… old and exclusive societies to be besieged； and contests to be waged
compared to which their American experiences are but light skirmishes。
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