lady susan-第9章

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De　Courcy　could　do　anything　with　my　mother；　but　I　was　mistaken：　they　have



had　a　dreadful　quarrel　about　it；　and　he　is　going　away。　Mamma　will　never



forgive　me；　and　I　shall　be　worse　off　than　ever。〃　〃No；　you　shall　not；〃　I



replied；　〃in　such　a　point　as　this　your　mother's　prohibition　ought　not　to



have　prevented　your　speaking　to　me　on　the　subject。　She　has　no　right　to　make



you　unhappy；　and　she　shall　NOT　do　it。　Your　applying；　however；　to　Reginald



can　be　productive　only　of　good　to　all　parties。　I　believe　it　is　best　as　it



is。　Depend　upon　it　that　you　shall　not　be　made　unhappy　any　longer。〃　At　that



moment　how　great　was　my　amonishment　at　seeing　Reginald　come　out　of　Lady



Susan's　dressing…room。　My　heart　misgave　me　instantly。　His　confusion　　at



seeing　me　was　very　evident。　Frederica　immediately　disappeared。　〃Are　you



going？〃　I　said；　〃you　will　find　Mr。　Vernon　in　his　own　room。〃　〃No；



Catherine；〃　he　replied；　〃I　am　not　going。　Will　you　let　me　speak　to　you　a



moment？〃　We　went　into　my　room。　〃I　find；〃　he　continued；　his　confusion



increasing　as　he　spoke；　〃that　I　have　been　acting　with　my　usual　foolish



impetuosity。　I　have　entirely　misunderstood　Lady　Susan；　and　was　on　the　point



of　leaving　the　house　under　a　false　impression　of　her　conduct。　There　has



been　some　very　great　mistake；　we　have　been　all　mistaken；　I　fancy。　Frederica



does　not　know　her　mother。　Lady　Susan　means　nothing　but　her　good；　but　she



will　not　make　a　friend　of　her。　Lady　Susan　does　not　always　know；　therefore；



what　will　make　her　daughter　happy。　Besides；　I　could　have　no　right　to



interfere。　Miss　Vernon　was　mistaken　in　applying　to　me。　In　short；　Catherine；



everything　has　gone　wrong；　but　it　is　now　all　happily　settled。　Lady　Susan；　I



believe；　wishes　to　speak　to　you　about　it；　if　you　are　at　leisure。〃



〃Certainly；〃　I　replied；　deeply　sighing　at　the　recital　of　so　lame　a　story。　I



made　no　comments；　however；　for　words　would　have　been　vain。







Reginald　was　glad　to　get　away；　and　I　went　to　Lady　Susan；　curious；



indeed；　to　hear　her　account　of　it。　〃Did　I　not　tell　you；〃　said　she　with　a



smile；　〃that　your　brother　would　not　leave　us　after　all？〃　〃You　did；　indeed；〃



replied　I　very　gravely；　〃but　I　flattered　myself　you　would　be　mistaken。〃　〃I



should　not　have　hazarded　such　an　opinion；〃　returned　she；　〃if　it　had　not　at



that　moment　occurred　to　me　that　his　resolution　of　going　might　be



occasioned　by　a　conversation　in　which　we　had　been　this　morning　engaged；　and



which　had　ended　very　much　to　his　dissatisfaction；　from　our　not　rightly



understanding　each　other's　meaning。　This　idea　struck　me　at　the　moment；　and



I　instantly　determined　that　an　accidental　dispute；　in　which　I　might



probably　be　as　much　to　blame　as　himself；　should　not　deprive　you　of　your



brother。　If　you　remember；　I　left　the　room　almost　immediately。　I　was



resolved　to　lose　no　time　in　clearing　up　those　mistakes　as　far　as　I　could。



The　case　was　thisFrederica　had　set　herself　violently　against　marrying　Sir



James。〃　〃And　can　your　ladyship　wonder　that　she　should？〃　cried　I　with　some



warmth；　〃Frederica　has　an　excellent　understanding；　and　Sir　James　has　none。〃



〃I　am　at　least　very　far　from　regretting　it；　my　dear　sister；〃　said　she；　〃on



the　contrary；　I　am　grateful　for　so　favourable　a　sign　of　my　daughter's



sense。　Sir　James　is　certainly　below　par　（his　boyish　manners　make　him　appear



worse）；　and　had　Frederica　possessed　the　penetration　and　the　abilities　which



I　could　have　wished　in　my　daughter；　or　had　I　even　known　her　to　possess　as



much　as　she　does；　I　should　not　have　been　anxious　for　the　match。〃　〃It　is　odd



that　you　should　alone　be　ignorant　of　your　daughter's　sense！〃　〃Frederica



never　does　justice　to　herself；　her　manners　are　shy　and　childish；　and



besides　she　is　afraid　of　me。　During　her　poor　father's　life　she　was　a　spoilt



child；　the　severity　which　it　has　since　been　necessary　for　me　to　show　has



alienated　her　affection；　neither　has　she　any　of　that　brilliancy　of



intellect；　that　genius　or　vigour　of　mind　which　will　force　itself　forward。〃



〃Say　rather　that　she　has　been　unfortunate　in　her　education！〃　〃Heaven　knows；



my　dearest　Mrs。　Vernon；　how　fully　I　am　aware　of　that；　but　I　would　wish　to



forget　every　circumstance　that　might　throw　blame　on　the　memory　of　one　whose



name　is　sacred　with　me。〃　Here　she　pretended　to　cry；　I　was　out　of　patience



with　her。　〃But　what；〃　said　I；　〃was　your　ladyship　going　to　tell　me　about



your　disagreement　with　my　brother？〃　〃It　originated　in　an　action　of　my



daughter's；　which　equally　marks　her　want　of　judgment　and　the　unfortunate



dread　of　me　I　have　been　mentioningshe　wrote　to　Mr。　De　Courcy。〃　〃I　know



she　did；　you　had　forbidden　her　speaking　to　Mr。　Vernon　or　to　me　on　the　cause



of　her　distress；　what　could　she　do；　therefore；　but　apply　to　my　brother？〃



〃Good　God！〃　she　exclaimed；　〃what　an　opinion　you　must　have　of　me！　Can　you



possibly　suppose　that　I　was　aware　of　her　unhappiness！　that　it　was　my　object



to　make　my　own　child　miserable；　and　that　I　had　forbidden　her　speaking　to



you　on　the　subject　from　a　fear　of　your　interrupting　the　diabolical　scheme？



Do　you　think　me　destitute　of　every　honest；　every　natural　feeling？　Am　I



capable　of　consigning　HER　to　everlasting：　misery　whose　welfare　it　is　my



first　earthly　duty　to　promote？　The　idea　is　horrible！〃　〃What；　then；　was　your



intention　when　you　insisted　on　her　silence？〃　〃Of　what　use；　my　dear　sister；



could　be　any　application　to　you；　however　the　affair　might　stand？　Why　should



I　subject　you　to　entreaties　which　I　refused　to　attend　to　myself？　Neither



for　your　sake　nor　for　hers；　nor　for　my　own；　could　such　a　thing　be



desirable。　When　my　own　resolution　was　taken　I　could　nor　wish　for　the



interference；　however　friendly；　of　another　person。　I　was　mistaken；　it　is



true；　but　I　believed　myself　right。〃　〃But　what　was　this　mistake　to　which



your　ladyship　　so　often　alludes！　from　whence　arose　so　astonishing　a



misconception　of　your　daughter's　feelings！　Did　you　not　know　that　she



disliked　Sir　James？〃　〃I　knew　that　he　was　not　absolutely　the　man　she　would



have　chosen；　but　I　was　persuaded　that　her　objections　to　him　did　not　arise



from　any　perception　of　his　deficiency。　You　must　not　question　me；　however；



my　dear　sister；　too　minutely　on　this　point；〃　continued　　she；　taking　me



affectionately　by　the　hand；　〃I　honestly　own　that　there　is　something　to



conceal。　Frederica　makes　me　very　unhappy！　Her　applying　to　Mr。　De　Courcy



hurt　me　particularly。〃　〃What　is　it　you　mean　to　infer；〃　said　I；　〃　by　this



appearance　of　mystery？　If　you　think　your　daughter　at　all　attached　to



Reginald；　her　objecting　to　Sir　James　could　not　less　deserve　to　be　attended



to　than　if　the　cause　of　her　objecting　had　been　a　consciousness　of　his　folly



；　and　why　should　your　ladyship；　at　any　rate；　quarrel　with　my　brother　for　an



interference　which；　you　must　know；　it　is　not　in　his　nature　to　refuse　when



urged　in　such　a　manner？〃







〃His　disposition；　you　know；　is　warm；　and　he　came　to　expostulate　with　me；



his　compassion　all　alive　for　this　ill…used　girl；　this　heroine　in　distress！



We　misunderstood　each　other：　he　believed　me　more　to　blame　than　I　really



was；　I　considered　his　interference　less　excusable　than　I　now　find　it。　I



have　a　real　regard　for　him；　and　was　beyond　expression　　mortified　to　find



it；　as　I　thought；　so　ill　bestowed　We　were　both　warm；　and　of　course　both　to



blame。　His　resolution　of　leaving　Churchhill　is　consistent　with　his　general



eagerness。　When　I　understood　his　intention；　however；　and　at　the　same　time



began　to　think　that　we　had　been　perhaps　equally　mistaken　in　each　other's



meaning；　I　resolved　to　have　an　explanation　before　it　was　too　late。　For　any



member　of　your　family　I　must　always　feel　a　degree　of　affection；　and　I　own



it　would　have　sensibly　hurt　me　if　my　acquaintance　with　Mr。　De　Courcy　had



ended　so　gloomily。　I　have　now　only　to　say　further；　that　as　I　am　convinced



of　Frederica's　having　a　reasonable　dislike　to　Sir　James；　I　shall　instantly



inform　him　that　he　must　give　up　all　hope　of　her。　I　reproach　myself　for



having　even；　though　innocently；　made　her　unhappy　on　that　score。　She　shall



have　all　the　retribution　in　my　power　to　make；　if　she　value　her　own



happiness　as　much　as　I　do；　if　she　judge　wisely；　and　command　herself　as　she



ought；　she　may　now　be　easy。　Excuse　me；　my　dearest　sister；　for　thus



trespassing　on　your　time；　but　I　owe　it　to　my　own　character；　and　after　this



explanation　I　trust　I　am　in　no　danger　of　sinking　in　your　opinion。〃　I　could



have　said；　〃Not　much；　indeed！〃　but　I　left　her　almost　in　silence。　It　was



the　greatest　stretch　of　forbearance　I　could　practise。　I　could　not　have



stopped　myself　had　I　begun。　Her　assurance！　her　deceit！　but　I　will　not　allow



myself　to　dwell　on　them；　they　will　strike　you　sufficiently。　My　heart



sickens　within　me。　As　soon　as　I　was　tolerably　composed　　I　returned　to　the



parlour。　Sir　James's　carriage　was　at　the　door；　and　he；　merry　as　usual；　soon



afterwards　took　his　leave。　How　easily　does　her　ladyship　encourage　or



dismiss　a　lover！　In　spite　of　this　release；　Frederica　still　looks　　unhappy：



still　fearful；　perhaps；　of　her　mother's　anger；　and　though　dreading　my



brother's　departure；　jealous；　it　may　be；　of　his　staying。　I　see　how　closely



she　observes　him　and　Lady　Susan；　poor　girl！　I　have　now　no　hope　for　her。



There　is　not　a　chance　of　her　affection　being　returned。　He　thinks　very



differently　of　her　from　what　he　used　to　do；　he　does　her　some　justice；　but



his　reconciliation　with　her　mother　precludes　every　dearer　hope。　Prepare；　my



dear　mother；　for　the　worst！　The　probability　of　their　marrying　is　surely



heightened！　He　is　more　securely　hers　than　ever。　When　that　wretched　event



takes　place；　Frederica　must　belong　wholly　to　us。　I　am　thankful　that　my　last



letter　will　precede　this　by　so　little；　as　every　moment　that　you　can　be



saved　from　feeling　a　joy　which　leads　only　to　disappointment　is　of



consequence。







Yours　ever；　&c。；







CATHERINE　VERNON。























XXV











LADY　SUSAN　TO　MRS。　JOHNSON











Churchhill。











I　call　on　you；　dear　Alicia；　for　congratulations：　I　am　my　own　self；　gay



and　triumphant！　When　I　wrote　to　you　the　other　day　I　was；　in　truth；　in　high



irritation；　and　with　ample　cause。　Nay；　I　know　not　whether　I　ought　to　be



quite　tranquil　now；　for　I　have　had　more　trouble　in　restoring　peace　than　I



ever　intended　to　submit　toa　spirit；　too；　resulting　from　a　fancied　sense



of　superior　integrity；　which　is　peculiarly　insolent！　I　shall　not　easily



forgive　him；　I　assure　you。　He　was　actually　on　the　point　of　leaving