lady susan-第10章

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forgive　him；　I　assure　you。　He　was　actually　on　the　point　of　leaving



Churchhill！　I　had　scarcely　concluded　my　last；　when　Wilson　brought　me　word



of　it。　I　found；　therefore；　that　something　must　be　done；　for　I　did　not



choose　to　leave　my　character　at　the　mercy　of　a　man　whose　passions　are　so



violent　and　so　revengeful。　It　would　have　been　trifling　with　my　reputation



to　allow　of　his　departing　with　such　an　impression　in　my　disfavour；　in　this



light；　condescension　was　necessary。　I　sent　Wilson　to　say　that　I　desired　to



speak　with　him　before　he　went；　he　came　immediately。　The　angry　emotions



which　had　marked　every　feature　when　we　last　parted　were　partially　subdued。



He　seemed　astonished　at　the　summons；　and　looked　as　if　half　wishing　and　half



fearing　to　be　softened　by　what　I　might　say。　If　my　countenance　expressed



what　I　aimed　at；　it　was　composed　and　dignified；　and　yet；　with　a　degree　of



pensiveness　which　might　convince　him　that　I　was　not　quite　happy。　〃I　beg



your　pardon；　sir；　for　the　liberty　I　have　taken　in　sending　for　you；〃　said　I；



〃but　as　I　have　just　learnt　your　intention　of　leaving　this　place　to…day；　I



feel　it　my　duty　to　entreat　that　you　will　not　on　my　account　shorten　your



visit　here　even　an　hour。　I　am　perfectly　aware　that　after　what　has　passed



between　us　it　would　ill　suit　the　feelings　of　either　to　remain　longer　in　the



same　house：　so　very　great；　so　total　a　change　from　the　intimacy　of



friendship　must　render　any　future　intercourse　the　severest　punishment；　and



your　resolution　of　quitting　Churchhill　is　undoubtedly　in　unison　with　our



situation；　and　with　those　lively　feelings　which　I　know　you　to　possess。　But；



at　the　same　time；　it　is　not　for　me　to　suffer　such　a　sacrifice　as　it　must　be



to　leave　relations　to　whom　you　are　so　much　attached；　and　are　so　dear。　My



remaining　here　cannot　give　that　pleasure　to　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Vernon　which　your



society　must；　and　my　visit　has　already　perhaps　been　too　long。　My　removal；



therefore；　which　must；　at　any　rate；　take　place　soon；　may；　with　perfect



convenience；　be　hastened；　and　I　make　it　my　particular　request　that　I　may



not　in　any　way　be　instrumental　in　separating　a　family　so　affectionately



attached　to　each　other。　Where　I　go　is　of　no　consequence　to　anyone；　of　very



little　to　myself；　but　you　are　of　importance　to　all　your　connections。〃　Here



I　concluded；　and　I　hope　you　will　be　satisfied　with　my　speech。　Its　effect　on



Reginald　justifies　some　portion　of　vanity；　for　it　was　no　less　favourable



than　instantaneous。　Oh；　how　delightful　it　was　to　watch　the　variations　of



his　countenance　while　I　spoke！　to　see　the　struggle　between　returning



tenderness　and　the　remains　of　displeasure。　There　is　something　agreeable　in



feelings　so　easily　worked　on；　not　that　I　envy　him　their　possession；　nor



would；　for　the　world；　have　such　myself；　but　they　are　very　convenient　when



one　wishes　to　influence　the　passions　of　another。　And　yet　this　Reginald；



whom　a　very　few　words　from　me　softened　at　once　into　the　utmost　submission；



and　rendered　more　tractable；　more　attached；　more　devoted　than　ever；　would



have　left　me　in　the　first　angry　swelling　of　his　proud　heart　without



deigning　to　seek　an　explanation。　Humbled　as　he　now　is；　I　cannot　forgive　him



such　an　instance　of　pride；　and　am　doubtful　whether　I　ought　not　to　punish



him　by　dismissing　him　at　once　after　this　reconciliation；　or　by　marrying　and



teazing　him　for　ever。　But　these　measures　are　each　too　violent　to　be　adopted



without　some　deliberation；　at　present　my　thoughts　are　fluctuating　between



various　schemes。　I　have　many　things　to　compass：　I　must　punish　Frederica；



and　pretty　severely　too；　for　her　application　　to　Reginald；　I　must　punish



him　for　receiving　it　so　favourably；　and　for　the　rest　of　his　conduct。　I　must



torment　my　sister…in…law　for　the　insolent　triumph　of　her　look　and　manner



since　Sir　James　has　been　dismissed；　for；　in　reconciling　　Reginald　to　me；　I



was　not　able　to　save　that　ill…fated　young　man；　and　I　must　make　myself



amends　for　the　humiliation　to　which　I　have　stooped　within　these　few　days。



To　effect　all　this　I　have　various　plans。　I　have　also　an　idea　of　being　soon



in　town；　and　whatever　may　be　my　determination　as　to　the　rest；　I　shall



probably　put　THAT　project　in　execution；　for　London　will　be　always　the



fairest　field　of　action；　however　my　views　may　be　directed；　and　at　any　rate



I　shall　there　be　rewarded　by　your　society；　and　a　little　dissipation；　for　a



ten　weeks'　penance　at　Churchhill。　I　believe　I　owe　it　to　my　character　to



complete　the　match　between　my　daughter　and　Sir　James　after　having　so　long



intended　it。　Let　me　know　your　opinion　on　this　point。　Flexibility　of　mind；　a



disposition　easily　biassed　by　others；　is　an　attribute　which　you　know　I　am



not　very　desirous　of　obtaining；　nor　has　Frederica　any　claim　to　the



indulgence　of　her　notions　at　the　expense　of　her　mother's　inclinations。　Her



idle　love　for　Reginald；　too！　It　is　surely　my　duty　to　discourage　such



romantic　nonsense。　All　things　considered；　therefore；　it　seems　incumbent　on



me　to　take　her　to　town　and　marry　her　immediately　to　Sir　James。　When　my　own



will　is　effected　contrary　to　his；　I　shall　have　some　credit　in　being　on　good



terms　with　Reginald；　which　at　present；　in　fact；　I　have　not；　for　though　he



is　still　in　my　power；　I　have　given　up　the　very　article　by　which　our　quarrel



was　produced；　and　at　best　the　honour　of　victory　is　doubtful。　Send　me　your



opinion　on　all　these　matters；　my　dear　Alicia；　and　let　me　know　whether　you



can　get　lodgings　to　suit　me　within　a　short　distance　of　you。







Your　most　attached







S。　VERNON。























XXVI











MRS。　JOHNSON　TO　LADY　SUSAN











Edward　Street。











I　am　gratified　by　your　reference；　and　this　is　my　advice：　that　you　come



to　town　yourself；　without　loss　of　time；　but　that　you　leave　Frederica



behind。　It　would　surely　be　much　more　to　the　purpose　to　get　yourself　well



established　by　marrying　Mr。　De　Courcy；　than　to　irritate　him　and　the　rest　of



his　family　by　making　her　marry　Sir　James。　You　should　think　more　of　yourself



and　less　of　your　daughter。　She　is　not　of　a　disposition　to　do　you　credit　in



the　world；　and　seems　precisely　in　her　proper　place　at　Churchhill；　with　the



Vernons。　But　you　are　fitted　for　society；　and　it　is　shameful　to　have　you



exiled　from　it。　Leave　Frederica；　therefore；　to　punish　herself　for　the



plague　she　has　given　you；　by　indulging　that　romantic　tender…heartedness



which　will　always　ensure　her　misery　enough；　and　come　to　London　as　soon　as



you　can。　I　have　another　reason　for　urging　this：　Mainwaring　came　to　town



last　week；　and　has　contrived；　in　spite　of　Mr。　Johnson；　to　make



opportunities　of　seeing　me。　He　is　absolutely　miserable　about　you；　and



jealous　to　such　a　degree　of　De　Courcy　that　it　would　be　highly　unadvisable



for　them　to　meet　at　present。　And　yet；　if　you　do　not　allow　him　to　see　you



here；　I　cannot　answer　for　his　not　committing　some　great　imprudencesuch　as



going　to　Churchhill；　for　instance；　which　would　be　dreadful！　Besides；　if　you



take　my　advice；　and　resolve　to　marry　De　Courcy；　it　will　be　indispensably



necessary　to　you　to　get　Mainwaring　out　of　the　way；　and　you　only　can　have



influence　enough　to　send　him　back　to　his　wife。　I　have　still　another　motive



for　your　coming：　Mr。　Johnson　leaves　London　next　Tuesday；　he　is　going　for



his　health　to　Bath；　where；　if　the　waters　are　favourable　to　his　constitution



and　my　wishes；　he　will　be　laid　up　with　the　gout　many　weeks。　During　his



absence　we　shall　be　able　to　chuse　our　own　society；　and　to　have　true



enjoyment。　I　would　ask　you　to　Edward　Street；　but　that　once　he　forced　from



me　a　kind　of　promise　never　to　invite　you　to　my　house；　nothing　but　my　being



in　the　utmost　distress　for　money　should　have　extorted　it　from　me。　I　can　get



you；　however；　a　nice　drawing…room　apartment　in　Upper　Seymour　Street；　and　we



may　be　always　together　there　or　here；　for　I　consider　my　promise　to　Mr。



Johnson　as　comprehending　only　（at　least　in　his　absence）　your　not　sleeping



in　the　house。　Poor　Mainwaring　gives　me　such　histories　of　his　wife's



jealousy。　Silly　woman　to　expect　constancy　from　so　charming　a　man！　but　she



always　was　sillyintolerably　so　in　marrying　him　at　all；　she　the　heiress　of



a　large　fortune　and　he　without　a　shilling：　one　title；　I　know；　she　might



have　had；　besides　baronets。　Her　folly　in　forming　the　connection　was　so



great　that；　though　Mr。　Johnson　was　her　guardian；　and　I　do　not　in　general



share　HIS　feelings；　I　never　can　forgive　her。







Adieu。　Yours　ever；







ALICIA。























XXVII











MRS。　VERNON　TO　LADY　DE　COURCY











Churchhill。











This　letter；　my　dear　Mother；　will　be　brought　you　by　Reginald。　His　long



visit　is　about　to　be　concluded　at　last；　but　I　fear　the　separation　takes



place　too　late　to　do　us　any　good。　She　is　going　to　London　to　see　her



particular　friend；　Mrs。　Johnson。　It　was　at　first　her　intention　that



Frederica　should　accompany　her；　for　the　benefit　of　masters；　but　we



overruled　her　there。　Frederica　was　wretched　in　the　idea　of　going；　and　I



could　not　bear　to　have　her　at　the　mercy　of　her　mother；　not　all　the　masters



in　London　could　compensate　　for　the　ruin　of　her　comfort。　I　should　have



feared；　too；　for　her　health；　and　for　everything　but　her　principlesthere



I　believe　she　is　not　to　be　injured　by　her　mother；　or　her　mother's　friends；



but　with　those　friends　she　must　have　mixed　（a　very　bad　set；　I　doubt　not）；



or　have　been　left　in　total　solitude；　and　I　can　hardly　tell　which　would　have



been　worse　for　her。　If　she　is　with　her　mother；　moreover；　she　must；　alas！　in



all　probability　be　with　Reginald；　and　that　would　be　the　greatest　evil　of



all。　Here　we　shall　in　time　be　in　peace；　and　our　regular　employments；　our



books　and　conversations；　with　exercise；　the　children；　and　every　domestic



pleasure　in　my　power　to　procure　her；　will；　I　trust；　gradually　overcome　this



youthful　attachment。　I　should　not　have　a　doubt　of　it　were　she　slighted　for



any　other　woman　in　the　world　than　her　own　mother。　How　long　Lady　Susan　will



be　in　town；　or　whether　she　returns　here　again；　I　know　not。　I　could　not　be



cordial　in　my　invitation；　but　if　she　chuses　to　come　no　want　of　cordiality



on　my　part　will　keep　her　away。　I　could　not　help　asking　Reginald　if　he



intended　being　in　London　this　winter；　as　soon　as　I　found　her　ladyship's



steps　would　be　bent　thither；　and　though　he　professed　himself　quite



undetermined；　there　was　something　in　his　look　and　voice　as　he　spoke　which