adam bede(亚当[1].比德)-第134章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
shut up your heart—it’s only adding to what you’ve been before；
not taking away from it。 For it seems to me it’s the same with love
and happiness as with sorrow—the more we know of it the better
George Eliot ElecBook Classics
… Page 670…
Adam Bede 670
we can feel what other people’s lives are or might be； and so we
shall only be more tender to ’em； and wishful to help ’em。 The
more knowledge a man has； the better he’ll do’s work； and
feeling’s a sort o’ knowledge。”
Dinah was silent； her eyes were fixed in contemplation of
something visible only to herself。 Adam went on presently with his
pleading； “And you can do almost as much as you do now。 I won’t
ask you to go to church with me of a Sunday。 You shall go where
you like among the people； and teach ’em； for though I like church
best； I don’t put my soul above yours； as if my words was better for
you to follow than your own conscience。 And you can help the sick
just as much； and you’ll have more means o’ making ’em a bit
comfortable； and you’ll be among all your own friends as love you；
and can help ’em and be a blessing to ’em till their dying day。
Surely； Dinah； you’d be as near to God as if you was living lonely
and away from me。”
Dinah made no answer for some time。 Adam was still holding
her hands and looking at her with almost trembling anxiety； when
she turned her grave loving eyes on his and said； in rather a sad
voice； “Adam there is truth in what you say； and there’s many of
the brethren and sisters who have greater strength than I have；
and find their hearts enlarged by the cares of husband and
kindred。 But I have not faith that it would be so with me； for since
my affections have been set above measure on you； I have had less
peace and joy in God。 I have felt as it were a division in my heart。
And think how it is with me； Adam。 That life I have led is like a
land I have trodden in blessedness since my childhood； and if I
long for a moment to follow the voice which calls me to another
land that I know not； I cannot but fear that my soul might
George Eliot ElecBook Classics
… Page 671…
Adam Bede 671
hereafter yearn for that early blessedness which I had forsaken；
and where doubt enters there is not perfect love。 I must wait for
clearer guidance。 I must go from you； and we must submit
ourselves entirely to the Divine Will。 We are sometimes required
to lay our natural lawful affections on the altar。”
Adam dared not plead again； for Dinah’s was not the voice of
caprice or insincerity。 But it was very hard for him； his eyes got
dim as he looked at her。
“But you may come to feel satisfied 。 。 。 to feel that you may
come to me again； and we may never part； Dinah？”
“We must submit ourselves； Adam。 With time； our duty will be
made clear。 It may be when I have entered on my former life； I
shall find all these new thoughts and wishes vanish； and become
as things that were not。 Then I shall know that my calling is not
towards marriage。 But we must wait。”
“Dinah；” said Adam mournfully； “you can’t love me so well as I
love you； else you’d have no doubts。 But it’s natural you shouldn’t；
for I’m not so good as you。 I can’t doubt it’s right for me to love the
best thing God’s ever given me to know。”
“Nay； Adam。 It seems to me that my love for you is not weak；
for my heart waits on your words and looks； almost as a little child
waits on the help and tenderness of the strong on whom it
depends。 If the thought of you took slight hold of me； I should not
fear that it would be an idol in the temple。 But you will strengthen
me—you will not hinder me in seeking to obey to the uttermost。”
“Let us go out into the sunshine； Dinah； and walk together。 I’ll
speak no word to disturb you。”
They went out and walked towards the fields； where they would
meet the family coming from church。 Adam said； “Take my arm；
George Eliot ElecBook Classics
… Page 672…
Adam Bede 672
Dinah；” and she took it。 That was the only change in their manner
to each other since they were last walking together。 But no
sadness in the prospect of her going away—in the uncertainty of
the issue—could rob the sweetness from Adam’s sense that Dinah
loved him。 He thought he would stay at the Hall Farm all that
evening。 He would be near her as long as he could。
“Hey…day！ There’s Adam along wi’ Dinah；” said Mr。 Poyser； as
he opened the far gate into the Home Close。 “I couldna think how
he happened away from church。 Why；” added good Martin； after a
moment’s pause； “what dost think has just jumped into my head？”
“Summat as hadna far to jump； for it’s just under our nose。 You
mean as Adam’s fond o’ Dinah。”
“Aye！ hast ever had any notion of it before？”
“To be sure I have；” said Mrs。 Poyser； who always declined； if
possible； to be taken by surprise。 “I’m not one o’ those as can see
the cat i’ the dairy an’ wonder what she’s come after。”
“Thee never saidst a word to me about it。”
“Well； I aren’t like a bird…clapper； forced to make a rattle when
the wind blows on me。 I can keep my own counsel when there’s no
good i’ speaking。”
“But Dinah ’ll ha’ none o’ him。 Dost think she will？”
“Nay；” said Mrs。 Poyser； not sufficiently on her guard against a
possible surprise； “she’ll never marry anybody； if he isn’t a
Methodist and a cripple。”
“It ’ud ha’ been a pretty thing though for ’em t’ marry；” said
Martin； turning his head on one side； as if in pleased
contemplation of his new idea。 “Thee’dst ha’ liked it too；
wouldstna？”
“Ah！ I should。 I should ha’ been sure of her then； as she
George Eliot ElecBook Classics
… Page 673…
Adam Bede 673
wouldn’t go away from me to Snowfield； welly thirty mile off； and
me not got a creatur to look to； only neighbours； as are no kin to
me； an’ most of ’em women as I’d be ashamed to show my face； if
my dairy things war like their’n。 There may well be streaky butter
i’ the market。 An’ I should be glad to see the poor thing settled like
a Christian woman； with a house of her own over her head； and
we’d stock her well wi’ linen and feathers； for I love her next to my
own children。 An’ she makes one feel safer when she’s i’ the house；
for she’s like the driven snow： anybody might sin for two as had
her at their elbow。”
“Dinah；” said Tommy； running forward to meet her； “mother
says you’ll never marry anybody but a Methodist cripple。 What a
silly you must be！” a comment which Tommy followed up by
seizing Dinah with both arms； and dancing along by her side with
incommodious fondness。
“Why； Adam； we missed you i’ the singing to…day；” said Mr。
Poyser。 “How was it？”
“I wanted to see Dinah—she’s going away so soon；” said Adam。
“Ah； lad！ Can you persuade her to stop somehow？ Find her a
good husband somewhere i’ the parish。 If you’ll do that； we’ll
forgive you for missing church。 But； anyway； she isna going before
the harvest supper o’ Wednesday； and you must come then。
There’s Bartle Massey comin’； an’ happen Craig。 You’ll be sure an’
come； now； at seven？ The missis wunna have it a bit later。”
“Aye；” said Adam； “I’ll come if I can。 But I can’t often say what
I’ll do beforehand； for the work often holds me longer than I
expect。 You’ll stay till the end o’ the week； Dinah？”
“Yes； yes！” said Mr。 Poyser。 “We’ll have no nay。”
“She’s no call to be in a hurry；” observed Mrs。 Poyser。
George Eliot ElecBook Classics
… Page 674…
Adam Bede 674
“Scarceness o’ victual ’ull keep： there’s no need to be hasty wi’ the
cooking。 An’ scarceness is what there’s the biggest stock of i’ that
country。”
Dinah smiled； but gave no promise to stay； and they talked of
other things through the rest of the walk； lingering in the sunshine
to look at the great flock of geese grazing； at the new corn…ricks；
and at the surprising abundance of fruit on the old pear…tree；
Nancy and Molly having already hastened home； side by side； each
holding； carefully wrapped in her pocket…handkerchief； a prayer…
book； in which she could read little beyond the large letters and
the Amens。
Surely all other leisure is hurry compared with a sunny walk
through the fields from “afternoon church”—as such walks used
to be in those old leisurely times； when the boat； gliding sleepily
along the canal； was the newest locomotive wonder； when Sunday
books had most of them old brown…leather covers； and opened
with remarkable precision always in one place。 Leisure is gone—
gone where the spinning…wheels are gone； and the pack…horses；
and the slow waggons； and the pedlars； who brought bargains to
the door on sunny afternoons。 Ingenious philosophers tell you；
perhaps； that the great work of the steam…engine is to create
leisure for mankind。 Do not believe them： it only creates a vacuum
for eager thought to rush in。 Even idleness is eager now—eager for
amusement； prone to excursion…trains； art museums； period
