the mysterious stranger-第21章

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she　will　take　care　of　the　alarm　herself。'

〃After　that　we　had　a　most　tranquil　season　during　three　months。　　The　bill
was　prodigious；　of　course；　and　I　had　said　I　would　not　pay　it　until　the
new　machinery　had　proved　itself　to　be　flawless。　　The　time　stipulated　was
three　months。　　So　I　paid　the　bill；　and　the　very　next　day　the　alarm　went
to　buzzing　like　ten　thousand　bee　swarms　at　ten　o'clock　in　the　morning。
I　turned　the　hands　around　twelve　hours；　according　to　instructions；　and
this　took　off　the　alarm；　but　there　was　another　hitch　at　night；　and　I　had
to　set　her　ahead　twelve　hours　once　more　to　get　her　to　put　the　alarm　on
again。　　That　sort　of　nonsense　went　on　a　week　or　two；　then　the　expert　came
up　and　put　in　a　new　clock。　　He　came　up　every　three　months　during　the　next
three　years；　and　put　in　a　new　clock。　　But　it　was　always　a　failure。　　His
clocks　all　had　the　same　perverse　defect：　they　would　put　the　alarm　on　in
the　daytime；　and　they　would　not　put　it　on　at　night；　and　if　you　forced　it
on　yourself；　they　would　take　it　off　again　the　minute　your　back　was
turned。

〃Now　there　is　the　history　of　that　burglar　alarmeverything　just　as　it
happened；　nothing　extenuated；　and　naught　set　down　in　malice。　　Yes；　sir；
and　when　I　had　slept　nine　years　with　burglars；　and　maintained　an
expensive　burglar　alarm　the　whole　time；　for　their　protection；　not　mine；
and　at　my　sole　costfor　not　a　d…d　cent　could　I　ever　get　THEM　to
contributeI　just　said　to　Mrs。　　McWilliams　that　I　had　had　enough　of　that
kind　of　pie；　so　with　her　full　consent　I　took　the　whole　thing　out　and
traded　it　off　for　a　dog；　and　shot　the　dog。　　I　don't　know　what　you　think
about　it；　Mr。　　Twain；　but　I　think　those　things　are　made　solely　in　the
interest　of　the　burglars。　　Yes；　sir；　a　burglar　alarm　combines　in　its
person　all　that　is　objectionable　about　a　fire；　a　riot；　and　a　harem；　and
at　the　same　time　had　none　of　the　compensating　advantages；　of　one　sort　or
another；　that　customarily　belong　with　that　combination。　　Good…by：　I　get
off　here。〃







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